₦airaland Forum

UnfairLife7:
the earlier you know domestic violence shouldn't be tolerated in marriage or friendship the better for you.

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

Klass99:
And you don't want to know his story? Girl, don't play yourself like that. Ask him what happened, what led to his divorce and what part he played in it, what he thinks he could have done differently to preserve the union etc....

You can make this a one time Q & A session and listen carefully to what he says, then subsequently pay attention to his actions to see if they line up with most of what he said in that conversation or what he says in other conversations. His actions should line up with his words and if you see a recurring pattern where words and actions are not aligning please walk and keep on walking.

Female intuition is like an alarm inside most women which goes off when someone is bullshitting us. Call it basic instinct if you want to but don't ever disregard or ignore it, it will hardly lead you astray. So factor that into your overall assessments of him and people in general.

Divorced men tend to have a lot of baggage and issues sha. It ranges from trust issues to lack of commitment, listlessness and never seeming to know what they want, loving booty calls, anger and bitterness towards women in general, where they are constantly judging other women based on their past experience with the ex or her conduct, etcetera. Do you want to dance that dance?

Divorce really rocks their world and messes with their psyche especially if wifey was the one who initiated it and followed through with it to the end. They grow up believing divorce hurts and ridicules us more, so we won't want it and we will never leave, not after 3 or 4 kids na. It's like blunt force trauma with a shock and awe effect when it happens to them. The hurt and pain lingers for a long time, some turn to alcohol others to hoeing for survival.

I prefer widowed men or single and unencumbered ones, they come with less baggage.

Generalmystic:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksKi7Zd0Mfk

⭕Mali, Burkina Faso deploy warplanes in Niger after ECOWAS threatPublished on August 19, 2023By Seun Opejobi



⭕Following threats of military action by the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) Burkina Faso and Mali have deployed fighter jets to Niger Republic




https://dailypost.ng/2023/08/19/mali-burkina-faso-deploy-warplanes-in-niger-after-ecowas-threat/

BoldBrainz:
If they don't want to work, they should resign. We can replace them for half the remunerations they're currently being paid.😁.

Sharpsharp00123:
how many of those things have u achieved?

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

2mercy:
https://www.vanguardngr.com/2023/08/breaking-fg-files-contempt-proceeding-against-nlc-tuc-over-protests/

Oluvisual:
NIGERIAN LABOUR PROTEST FUEL SUBSIDY AND HARDSHIPS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPNorif0y2E

TMSMedia:
Veteran Nollywood actress, Ngozi Nwosu celebrates her 60th birthday today as she shared stunning photos of herselfbon her Instagram page, IGBERETV reports.

The photos were captioned;


https://www.instagram.com/p/CvYpNCho_qu/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Lance008:
Bro not only women
Family member, close friends now behave like snake because of hardship

SAMUEL1947:
This is craziness.....how would u expect miracle within 3months.......he hasn't spent 6months and you are all in a hurry. Why ......even Obedient or Atiku cannot do miracle if elected. We should all calm down and let baba do the right thing. He knows what is good for the masses.

nairalandkachy1:
Some of them have also started looting private stores.

SaharaReporters can report that armed policemen are currently engaging the youths as they attempt to crack down on the rampage.

There are also reported cases of live bullets being fired as the looting is said to have turned violent.

One of the looters who spoke to our correspondent blamed the action on the hardship being experienced in the country following the removal of subsidy on premium motor spirit otherwise known as petrol.



https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid0FXXpfTYutNTvCa8GFzgJ1J7guJdCSK5KgDfrUBNBVhzTEVNk7jeAC5Yt6cR6ReQrl&id=100051094020928&mibextid=Nif5oz

This is just the beginning, we warned them they did not listen, if that nlc strike holds, things will definitely spiral to something else. If they av sense they should by all means avert that strike.

Lance008:
Am a type of guy if u accuse me wrongly I do not have to explain myself is for me to pay attention to those who carry the rumors for me to easily separate my enemy from friends

Vixlot:
President Tinubu Approves Adjustment of 25% peculiar allowance for Health workers

BoldBrainz:
I grow poultry but I don't eat chicken. If you like, pay 10million naira for an all blue chicken and cook it, I'll avoid it like a plague.

Zulum:
Don't mind my English pls

Anytime we had an argument with my wife, she utter some words that I can't even tell that to my enemy...."I am tired of the marriage", "I am always praying for u to die" " I always pray something terrible should happen to you" and so on....

I am Muslim, we are married three years ago and blessed with one child, I can't stay for a good one week in my house peacefully without having misunderstanding with her......i am depressed, worried, always thinking.....

Almiron:
Davido to donate $10k to hotel staff, Kekwaaru Ngozi Mary for returning misplaced $70,000 to a customer.



Source-Davido

Previous thread https://www.nairaland.com/7774194/peter-obi-hails-kekwaaru-ngozi

dazzlingd:
The only thing that will remove Tinubu from that seat is possibly death.
Let’s face reality, I have never heard anywhere in the world where this happened not to talk of Africa.
Even when trump was impeached, he finished his tenure
Life is not a nollywood where the good guys always defeat the bad guys. Or expecting a plot twist like movies. This is real life

HacheNoire:
Waste of time!

No going back!

Tertiary education is not for all. Only those who can afford it should be in the university.

If NANS needs bribe, they should come out clear, instead of using protest to threaten the government.

It’s glaring that, if Nigerian universities want to compete and attain standards, the government can NEVER fund it.

nairalanda1:
So, I should have stomached bad quality because ....it was better?

Oga, after you guys will be complaining about how bad things are, while expecting us to get a Ferrari at the price of a bicycle.

My education in the end was not cheap. I still had to buy textbooks, equipment, pay for my final year project, spend money on research, and a host of things. All because cheap education could not buy quality.

Anyway, at the end fees have to go up...or the rich kids would soon be beating the poor kids in the job market...because they can afford better.

nairalanda1:
No such thing as cheap education.

Even the other countries that have cheap education pay for them via heavy taxes, or loans and grants to students. Not out of pocket.

(As an example, some Nigerian journalists were visiting Denmark for a confrence. While they were waiting at the airport for the car that would to take them to their hotel, they got chatting with a Danish airport worker. The guy told them his children get free education from primary school to university....in return for him paying half his salary in taxes. Would you agree if Nigeria did that? ).

Plus do you have good libraries, good hostel facilities, good lecture theaters, and good labs and so forth? Nope...that's because you are paying for cheap stuff, and cheap stuff is not as good as the expensive stuff.

I went to university for cheap. And my hostel was bad(I eventually rented rooms off campus), my university library had out of date books...I had to spend money buying textbooks because of that, my labs were old fashioned, and so on.

Oga, the private universities meanwhile are growing in strength. Because they have access to money. If care is not taken, in ten years time, employers would be looking at ABUAD graduates before they look at UI, UNN or Unilag graduates.

nairalanda1:
I went to school for cheap. I paid cheap fees.

In return, I got bad accomodation, bad library, bad lecture theaters, and a host of bad facilites because that was as far as cheap education could go.

Universites are expensive. Even all those people in US and UK take loans to go to school. All them free education countries pay for it in heavy taxes.

So what do they want the government to do? To make fees for university as low as N1000 per session, and we find money from where? With 99% of our revenue going to debt servicing?

I go drop this quote here



Forget politics, forget that stuff...has low fees guaranteed decent universites? Nope.

The rate we are going, the private unis would even surpass the government unis, and employers would take notice.

LagosFirstSon:
Source: https://punchng.com/tuition-hike-student-group-threatens-mass-protest/?amp

fyzaila:
That marriage is created to be enjoyed not endured. It's supposed to be a continuous love journey not constant battle and misery.

nkemjacob2:
I saw a thread that want Sisters to Give Three Reasons Why A Man Will Be Lucky To Marry You. The whole thing is vice versa.

Men give 3 reason why women will want to have you as a husband.

Sisters observe for husband material

Nemesis0147:
Okro soup
That’s if you have garri and oil oh

Nsogbu001:
Marriage is not by force and no one would force you to marry who you dont want to marry.
Why would you come to the public and make it seem that you were forced into the marriage?

Age doesn't make you mature in marriage. This marriage is not a day something. This is someone you will be seeing everyday. If you start like this from the first day, I wonder what will happen as time goes on. Nawaoo oo
Take a look.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FudrhMUJPH4

Wodu89:
Strange. A Titus fish is around 2,200 Naira before subsidy removal

Wodu89:
Very cheap. The fish is 800 Naira in Lagos

EriMma1:
Wao! This is so unbelievable. Hear what he has to say about his new body.



https://www.instagram.com/tv/CumPbQBolLc7OQEMrkh9AM40QzA4D5FoQkPNPc0/?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==