₦airaland Forum

madone:
Don't judge marriage matter from outside ooo. Hear the side of the woman first not them say them say

We have heard from the woman and there I nothing contradicting. From what she said, her parents even apologized to her for getting married, maybe she was forced to marry, she had the plans of traveling. The guy paid the rent, school fees all other house bills electricity and all and even the cooking gas. She works just like the guy and at the time earns even more but the guy borrowed the whole responsibility and she always complained. All she said about sleeping with other men and the kids not being for the man is confirmed. She even confirmed it to me but excused it by saying Co the man abused her Tha man maintains he never abused her but her usual extreme ways of talking

Never except u want to die b4 ur time. Hustle harder.

Well said, I know someone who has three kids. The woman left. Before she left, she asked that she takes the last one and leave the rest. The man told her either u take them all or leave all of them. She left, before then she stated that the kids are not for the man and that she is sleeping with certain people,, which was confirmed by people that she said that. As a matter of fact both parents of the couple confirmed that she even said when she gave birth to the first child. The guy managed to carry on with life with her. She would constantly pick up quarrel and run to her parents house for months. In one of this episode she found out she was pregnant after almost two months and came back to the house after settlement before she left thus last time. School was to resume, the guy sent money for school supply as she requested and was begged not to change the children school. She used the money to change the school, and said it was for convenience and the money the guy sent is for what he owes her. NOW THE GUY HAS LEFT HER TO TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS GIVEN WHAT SHE SAID AND HER ATTITUDE. NOW SHE GATHERS THE KIDS TO SAY AMEN AS SHE INSULTS THE MAN AND SENDS AS VOICE NOTE. WOULD U BLAME THE MAN FOR NOT INVOLVING HIMSELF WITH HER OR THE KIDS. THE GUY IS INCONSTQNT PAIN NOW. RESEMBLANCE MAKES HIM FEEL THE KIDS ARE HIS AND HE SHOULD DO SOMETHING. BUT ALL THIS, ITS THE MAN TO BLAME? THESE WOMEN CAN BE WICKED. NOTE THIS GUY HAS BEEN DOING ALL HE CAN FOR HER AND THE KIDS WHILE THERE WHERE HOME. WHAT DO U HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS?

We4all:
Keep justifying nonsense. You remember you are African when its convenient, right? The early culture you mentioned, were the men not the sole provider? If he was providing enough to cater for his family, would she have run away?

Who in nigeria as a man caters enough now without a big farm. My roots can never change, my flowers may change as seasons come. His only bad is marrying a bad wife. That is the truth, he married a bad wife. Are you married? See there good women out there and may God bless them. It's difficult for him bro, you can only appease to him to see reasons but not shame or bully him to seeing it. There are few options right now for him. Holding on to those kids is why he us serving and seeing a reason to carry on with life. Do you how many mebs life has been ruined by the stupid actions of these women. Forgive my earlier insult. I admit I should av controlled my fingers, but the truth is, he should never rent a house for her. If I was him I would let her kidnap the two boys and I would not even fight it. More reason not to send money to her, the kids will find him latter. It's difficult, he will struggle but let him focus on himself. Cos those kids will never be the same when raised by thier mother. So indirectly he has no kids. He needs to start afresh there is nothing to fight for here. For the guys case I mentioned earlier. He has given up, though struggling but time should do its work. And the was the one taking care of everything g. Though the woman claims that even though the money he gives her for upkeep of the house is not enough so she adds her own. The guy is bot aware if this as anytime the money finishes she is always going to fight him according to him. So logically she does nothing in the house. With such scenario what do u think

Hotice085:
Why are you both treating the triplets like this?
If she goes to court you will lose, and also be paying monthly dues better you allow her to take care of them and they be coming for holidays to stay with you

This is strictly, Nigeria for crying out loud. Do u know how many men thier wives av taken to the court and the man never showed up.its only those that want to be in court goes to court. It's a pity cos I will use every needs necessary to make sure the woman who takes me to court looses.

We4all:
You obviously don't know what you are talking about. I have followed the story and know he wasn't smart enough to marry a good wife. Why must his kids pay for his bad choices? Who asked him to marry a bad wife in the first place?

So, because his ex wife is bad, he should neglect the kids welfare, right? Have you ever heard of 'spousal support'? No court gives a damn whether your ex wife is bad or wanted to kill you.

As long as you have kids together, then you must put your ego aside and support them. That is the price a man has to pay for choosing a wrong partner. It is only in Nigeria that dumb men punish their kids for mistakes made by their ex wives.

Well thank God this nigeria, we are dumb, no problem, let's leave it that way. Early Nigerian ways or culture, women don't run away with kids when they want to leave and if they do, they know it's thier duty to take care of that kids. Thats the Nigerian way we dont need no foreign ways. He is not punishing the kids, the woman is the one punishing the kids with her decision. It's only when it's the man that trew them away u can say that. Its a pity what we have all become.

Houseontherock1:
Unless you are sure she's not a good mum and will be a bad influence on the boys, please let her have them, they need her at this age and I don't think your mother and sister can take care of them like she will. Settle amicably and out of courts if possible

Well said, I know someone who has three kids. The woman left. Before she left, she asked that she takes the last one and leave the rest. The man told her either u take them all or leave all of them. She left, before then she stated that the kids are not for the man and that she is sleeping with certain people,, which was confirmed by people that she said that. As a matter of fact both parents of the couple confirmed that she even said when she gave birth to the first child. The guy managed to carry on with life with her. She would constantly pick up quarrel and run to her parents house for months. In one of this episode she found out she was pregnant after almost two months and came back to the house after settlement before she left thus last time. School was to resume, the guy sent money for school supply as she requested and was begged not to change the children school. She used the money to change the school, and said it was for convenience and the money the guy sent is for what he owes her. NOW THE GUY HAS LEFT HER TO TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS GIVEN WHAT SHE SAID AND HER ATTITUDE. NOW SHE GATHERS THE KIDS TO SAY AMEN AS SHE INSULTS THE MAN AND SENDS AS VOICE NOTE. WOULD U BLAME THE MAN FOR NOT INVOLVING HIMSELF WITH HER OR THE KIDS. THE GUY IS INCONSTQNT PAIN NOW. RESEMBLANCE MAKES HIM FEEL THE KIDS ARE HIS AND HE SHOULD DO SOMETHING. BUT ALL THIS, ITS THE MAN TO BLAME? THESE WOMEN CAN BE WICKED. NOTE THIS GUY HAS BEEN DOING ALL HE CAN FOR HER AND THE KIDS WHILE THERE WHERE HOME. WHAT DO U HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS?

We4all:
No wonder.

Wonder what. He should rent house for the ex cos of the kids? Have u followed the story b4 now, do u know the pain he has felt always this while. Some people just want to sound woke and forget reality. If u have never been through things like this u will never know the pain. He never wanted the family apart. She can't eat her cake and have it

Belleful:
Let her go to court. Don't be afraid. You have a good case of abandonment... No good mother will abandoned her kids.... I believe they are not up to 4yrs, when she left them. So you can claim she is not a good mother. But for the sake of peace, try and be there for the visit. Allowed her to see them in your presence or any strong reliable family member that can withstand her if she try anything funny

Don't mind all this people saying court this and that, are we not in nigeria? Let her take u to court. Ignore the court paper nothing will happen. Make sure knows the address of the kids, let them and come and arrest u. Seriously u can ignore any court case in nigeria nothing will happen.

We4all:
You love your boys so much, but the girl doesn't matter, right? The money you used to rent an apartment for your mom could have been utilized in renting a decent accommodation for your ex wife and kids.

If you had done that, there is no way she would deny you access to your kid if you continue to be a responsible dad. As it is, you are doing more harm to the triplets by separating them.

Do you want them to grow up and begin to see each other as strangers? You guys should sit down and resolve your issues for the kids sake. Life is simple, but people just love to complicate things with their over bloated ego.

What is this fool saying. Seriously u are a fool.

Freshfish4:
Apart from my mum and son I Know everyone hates, including my wife.

They only pretend to like/love me for what they are getting and what they will get from me.

I never expect anything good from anyone so when they do me bad I'm not surprised, I smile and walk away

Oluwa dey my side

I wish I could give you a billion likes. That's why I tell people that wives hate secretly more than outsiders. I just wonder why?

RepoMan007:
how many have space?
You rent room and parlour with 100 other tenants across srven compounds yet think you can plant even vegetable.

Space is not the problem. .. we all have villages. Think bro/sis

soccerlite:
Talk is cheap

Truly cheap. It's this attainable or not?

JOhnnyfreash:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ljcuvQAISk

I want to meet this girl, this is not about her affluence, there is something about her. Being real is something that's attractive. Aside being real there is something, I just want to know.

mariahAngel:
Happy weekend foodies👋🏼

It's not hidden fact that I like plantain a bit more than normal.
Plantain is my staple food, so as the plantain ambassador that I am 😀 I've had to come up with different ways to make and enjoy it.

Here are some I've tried and like:

Kindly hit like on the ones you like.👍🏼

Pictures credit: Mariah's
Cc: Nlfpmod

Pic 1. Plantain chips.

Where is the oil accompanied with fresh slice onions and pepper with plantain picture?

Ordinarily every average Nigerian Home is suppose to be able to provide 250 tubbers annually. We need to really check where we getting it wrong. I wonder why average Nigerian homes still buy pepper a d ugu leaf. We need to check ourselves truly.

Available9:
Those who requested for the DNA should provide the money

Supporters of evil, u clearly think its about money. Why would a DNA be requested in the first place if she was loyal. Even if the child is mohbahds. Doing the dna in the first place has proven that she has coma, believe it or not. Maybe she has said something with her mouth that may have warranted the DNA talk. Women should learn for the sake of the kids.

Haha

Matinox:
This evening I took a reflection on what my wife has gone through in our small marital journey, my heart swirled up with gratitude, I felt like to call my mum and tell her thank you again.

Women are built different!

I just had a baby, I was in the labour room and boy o boy!
The female body is a work of art!

I considered the pains they go through...
My wife for instance, after marriage, sex was a huge desert to cross, it was her first time, she would cry countless times, by the time we crossed that hurdle, she took in, pregnancy came with its own shenanigans!

This thread isn't about my wife, but to all honest women out there, God bless your efforts.

First sex - Pain
Pregnant - Pain
Delivery - Pain
First Breast feeding - Intense pain
Resume sex after child birth - Pain
Wean your baby - Pain

Life for you all is like an art gallery, you all fit into many descriptions. God bless you all.

My mum & wife inclusive!

God bless the good women out there they exist.

Interesting15:
By Sunday Akanni

This is a continuation of this previous conversation https://www.nairaland.com/7908376/some-tricks-guys-use-luring

These randy guys are smart. They know how to exploit the emotional nature of women to the fullest. They know the average woman craves love and care and affection. So, either verbally or with their actions, they keep convincing you that they care about you. Once they successfully make the lady believe he's in love with her, they know she will become vulnerable towards and around him - she will want to reciprocate and do all it takes to keep him. He then exploits this mercilessly, making her crawl into his bed at his pleasure before ditching her.

My Counsel: I will counsel from two perspectives. The first one will be to encourage you to have an intimate relationship with the LORD and let Him teach you by experience what true love is - this will help you not to be a "love slave" (someone who is always thrown off her feet whenever any guy says he loves her). The second perspective will revolve around the fact that an average guy cannot love you truly if he hasn't first encountered God (Who is the True Love) and fallen in love with the Holy Ghost.

Firstly, you see, God is Love, and since we were created in His image and likeness, it follows that we are also creatures of love, created to love and receive love. We all have the innate desire to love (to give and show love to others), as well as to crave to receive love from others (to be shown love in return). This is a characteristic of a normal person created in God's image and likeness.

However, the error of many women lies with where they go to seek love, and what they fall in love with. Hence, many are in problem today because they fall in love with dangerous persons and things that were designed by the evil devil to carry out his evil mission - to steal, to kill and destroy (John 10:10). We can talk about alcohol and drugs; masturbation and pornography; immoral boyfriends and girlfriends relationships; materialism and mammon; etc. They thought these things were good lovers that would give them genuine pleasure and satisfaction. Unfortunately, these things only lead them to destruction, ruin, and regret.

Problem arises when you fail to channel your love to the right One - the True Lover. You are configured to love God your Creator first and above any other, and to receive love from Him above anything else. When you are saturated with God's Love and you find pure fulfillment inside of Him alone, it guides how you give love to those around you, and you are directed to like only the things He permits (which won't be harmful to you).

You can explore love inside of God (which is what you are destined to do) through faith in Jesus Christ. As you embrace Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, He sends a tangible Lover to your life - the Holy Spirit. As you grow in love with Him, He empowers you to keep attending to the business of love in the right way. I'm encouraging you to stop seeking pleasure from sinful and harmful persons and places and things. They are polluted counterfeits of the original thing - that you enjoy pure pleasure in your relationship with the Lord Jesus.

Also, if a guy is claiming to love you without having a loving relationship with the Lord, he is simply confusing lust and infatuation for love. God is Love, and only He can tutor a man on what true love is. So, if a guy does not know the LORD, and he is claiming to love you, what did he know about love, when it is even obvious he doesn't love himself (since he is living a defeated life by staying outside God)?

Now, let me tell you this about males, and it's easy to tell you this because I'm one too. Due to the configurations of the male body, if he refused to submit to the Holy Spirit, he will be driven by an intense urge for pleasure and fun, and he is ready to go to any extent to please himself (including adopting criminal actions like rape, drugging his victims, etc). Trusting a guy who isn't submitted to the Lord is foolish because even the guy can't help himself.

https://www.instagram.com/p/C0EAepNI9nK/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Going by the head line, this is also mainly used by women.

First cousins, so that makes u well to do. I don't trust women. Anyway my guy if she genuinely hurt u, hurt them back without killing anyone. Her mother must truly be evil, I sense it.

Ginaz:
You are a shame to your family cos it's obvious you were not trained properly from home. that's why you are going about behaving like a badly raised child in a grown man's form.

go and apologise and stop being so stupid.

Abegi e never reach like that, yeah he should have collected it. But the way the parents immediately told thier daughter and her reaction is even a more reason for serious concern. U can refer to his actions as a mistake but can we refer to girls deliberate insults or angry talk as a mistake.

[quote author=Cooolme post=127033616]I have a stepsister living abroad, the daughter of my mom. She's been there since childhood, raised by her father, and has become independent.

Despite the physical distance, she has been supportive, particularly to my mom. Although she occasionally sends money to my mom, it's never quite enough for her.

I share a unique bond with her; we've always been close, even during her visit. The last time she sent me money was during my 100 level when things were tough. However, my focus shifted from financial help to maintaining a connection with her.

Recently, I noticed a change. Since July, she has been snubbing my messages, a puzzling behavior considering I don't seek financial assistance. I've made it a point to check on her regularly, something she mentioned our mom doesn't do. At my level now if she needs money I can even send for her but her recent attitude has totally changed my mind towards her. I'm contemplating blocking her and ending contact, as it seems that's what she wants.

It's a challenging situation, and I'm curious if anyone here has experienced anything similar.[/quote


Hahaha haha.. our problems too much here and e nor easy for them there.. we pray for good times. Alot has happened this period even though we are keeping quiet. U seem genuine, don't give up on her if u love her. She is ur sister u know. She maybe going through something and confused but don't push her too much give her space but from time to time check up on her, she will turn up soon. I sense ur genuinty and that's rare. Stay blessed.

zinaunreal:
Read about nova City and the Ben Shiron canal. Thats israels plan for gaza after wiping them out. That was israels plan all along. Also read about the oil reserves in gaza. Also conclude with a letter to America by osama bin laden. Switch to twitter and tiktok. These are decentralised news. Leave cnn and others alone they are all owned by israel

Now reason along with me, only through logical reasons do we understand facts. Why? This is how judges makes decisions on so called facts presented to them, do not be be deceived the nova City has nothing to do with all this or the ben .... let me tell u logically go through your facts, for and against. U only going through the facts of for and not against. These are theories that have no foundation. Oil is not so fanciful like before that nations would loose sleep over. What has Palestinians done with her oil reserve. If u are my neighbor and I consider you as a treat I would f3nce u out or push u off my space. There has to be a way for both nations to coexist that's what we all want but if you can't be trusted, how can I live with u. Don't hate people for just hating sake.

zinaunreal:
I'm only going to reply you because I think you have a little bit of sense. Try and do an extensive research before you conclude. I have done mine and I will always support the Palestinians. I'm sure you haven't done yours. I oblidge you to do so

I have done mine, please make reference to those research that you have done. Please note that everyone on this planet earth is occupying one geographical location or the other. By no justifiable reason of the other but by reason of life design. Thank u for acknowledging my little sense. It means alot.

zinaunreal:
People who support israel are very stupid
If you want to know a stupid person especially a very stupid unlearned Nigerian just ask him do you support israel or palestine.

If you want to know a very stupid person.
Watch for those who will quote me.

I am a christian and strong advocate for humanity
God bless

Stupidity is a relative word, sir, what has isreal done wrong? Presently someone has offended me to scorn and if I was strong as isreal I would crush the person, I would not av any conscience to restrain myself except God intervenes on me. Sometimes forgiveness can only come if God wills. U will understand this if u are a Christian, the devil would av been forgiven if that's how forgiveness works. No one is a fool. The life is a mystery. Before you hurt someone, think first because that may be the last person u hurt remember justice does not sit on the fence. It's a one way road and isreal is giving out what she thinks is justice.

ijustdey:
….Commences monitoring of safeguarding, child protection implementation



https://www.vanguardngr.com/2023/11/wives-battered-340-husbands-to-pulp-in-1yr-lagos-govt/

I have been saying it that the rate at which men suffer in marraiges these days are unbelievable. The ladies who can't beat thier husbands now result to other means u can't imagine, lies and slander is now a very powerful weapon they use, as in men are suffering because no one even believes the man even when he tries to explain no one wants to listen. It's terrible.

Lee99:
How old are you if I may ask and if you're willing to share?

Believe me I am older than u

Lee99:
You don't find such love when you look for it bro, it finds you when you're not looking

I guess so.. I wish deep down it comes before I leave this earth

narite:
Are you still with her? The one that hated you.

No

Puss360:
Okay... I don't know you...but if u are above 28, and you've had more than 1 body count, then pls, u aren't in a position to judge me... Okay

What is you with body count, madam cross the door. It has nothing to do with who cheated or not. Even if the man has cheated, now the man is saying cross the door. She can do her own cross the door after. I hate women or men that cheat period. Believe it or not we have more cheating women now.

Meself:
Love truly exist
Is just for few lucky ones

I believe this is true.. it hurts though to have never experienced it. As a young guy back then, I looked and worked so hard to find it but never did, ended up marrying the obe person that I know hates me. Well given up and moved on... life oh life, it can never treat us equally