₦airaland Forum

Oyindidi:
More like Yoruba demon?

Oyindidi:
I was too tenderhearted and I feel used most times. I only do what will make me happy. No time for anybody

Good!

Nigeria converts people to animals!

Oyindidi:
I learnt that late last year. I'm more selfish now, I careless about other people's happiness.

Stop that, girl.

Don't make me teasher teashing you nonsense o.

I care about other people's happiness especially anyone I am dating.

I just wouldn't let them spoil my happiness with unreasonable behaviours and I would not sacrifice my happiness for these.

I am not that romantic! I am yorubatic!

Their happiness have to fit into the sphere of mine. It not, it is free to fester, ferment and metabolise outside it.

Oyindidi:
Lol, no need for that, I realized it's for better for worst. When I'm in my worst behaviour too I expect him to tolerate me. That's the beauty of marriage.

Why men dey nag these days?

So na combined brain una get.

Konga-ile-shan!

I wouldn't know why a man would nag. I am not one that does such. I act by moving on.

My happiness is priority and in my hands. Not in any woman's hand. Fit in or fit out!

babythug:
Truly some men are just brutes! While no wife can be completely perfect some men behave in the manner described above even unprovoked!

I see!

And women are just innocent abi, just not completely perfect?

Oyindidi:
You are mouthed, the men do same when they create threads here.

Men tend not to fake "victim" of women.

Oyindidi:
Something happened yesterday and I almost create a thread here. I rather hug my pillow tight and slept off while bobo was nagging. Person wey dey sleep no dey quarrel.

Kai!

You get little sense sha?

Why you no boil water pour am for im head and then slap him?

Oyindidi:
Nah, some of una too dey do

Don't you just like the way una dey tell one-sided stories that shows you peeps as white-wearing, innocent "victims"?

cummando:
Like divorce? What you see as depression might be a hurdle she has to overcome for a happier tomorrow. Its an advice though. Its left for her to take it or leave it. Its not compulsory

Continue deceiving yourself.

Abi na your pastor dey deceive you.

dingbang:
both of you lack understanding. work on it.

There is NOTHING to work on here.

They are major contributors to the miserable institution called marriage.

Oyindidi:
That's men for you.

Yes, Oyindidi.

Men are baastards abi?

And una be angels?

ikpuru1234:
It’s obvious to me that my marriage has finally crashed down. I always have an argument with my husband almost every month. To think we have been married for 11 years its an understatement as my marriage keep getting worse each year. My husband has this mentality that his own idea or opinion on a subject it’s the best, therefore, anytime I have a different opinion he will shout and get us into quarrelling.
We have not quarreled since November, so two days ago we were just watching a movie and there was a scene where a church member was discussing her marital problem to the pastor without knowing that pastor and his wife are going through worse rough patches in their own marriage. I quickly stated this is why couples should try and settle their marital problems without a third party. I added this is what I was telling you when you told our friend about our problem. He didn’t even allow me to finish, he started yelling, shouting, calling me names like idiots, pussy, to the extent that he came back from inside the room and spat on me many times, that I had to spat back before he now left my personal space. I was shocked at how much he reacted. If I didn’t know him I would have thought he was under the influence of drug/alcohol. Our kids came out from the room and was shouting we should stop that spatting, screaming it was gross. They are just under 10 years.

The following day, I demanded his audience that I would like to discuss about what happened yesterday. He said he is not listening that I should go and learn about marriage. I told him that him spitting on me was demeaning, and I would not accept it, but he started shouting again and even spat on me 3 times again, saying I cannot do anything, that every time I keep reminding him something of the past. I now told him that our marriage is over. He said if you like pack your things and leave but I will not leave the house for you.

We recently moved to another country so I am not working, he is the only one working. I supported him and left my well paid job to migrate to a different country and this is what I got from him. I believe he did this because I don’t have any job or anywhere to run to in this new place. We have had our shares of arguments but spitting on me I take it as last straw. I would have left house but no place to go. I went to help Centre they said I could get support if I press charges as spitting is also an offence where we are. But I don’t really want to go that route.
I have gotten a part time job which I will resume hopefully end of the month. I have been thinking on two options now. To cut the story short.

Option 1: continue living with him until I get enough money in the next three months, rent a new house and vamoose with my children.
Option 2: live together as housemates, don’t get into much discussion with him, no sleeping together(to me this option is just because of what people, my family will say and kids).

My heart is yearning for option one because he has an anger problem, he has hit me before about 8 years ago, I called police, since then he doesn’t hit me but still comes close to me during arguments by shrugging or just giving me a push. I feel him spitting on me was another way of running away from hitting me. I dread hitting me would have been his option if we were living in Nigeria. Our kids are growing and watching him screaming on top of his voice, this scares my daughter from getting married as she has mentioned he doesn’t want to be screaming with his husband that she will not get married. I also have ended up learning some of his silly behavior just to show him how it feels such as screaming back, cutting phones as he does this all the time if he feels you have a different view, keeping malice for days. Usually I am not that person but I have tried to get him stop doing that all to no avail. Am tired. When my mum came around to our place, on different occasions he made her stay terrible with bad behavior of picking quarrel with me and keeping malice including at my mum. He watches pornography and blames me I don’t give him intimacy. Although I had a talk severally about the impact of that as our kids use his phones and laptop and may be exposed as sometimes he leaves the page on and sleeps off. I told him I will try and give it to him anytime he comes, but few months ago, I noticed he still goes there.
Obviously, we are both not happy in the relationship. He doesn’t show remorse and for the fact that I will be walking on egg shell all the time scares me. I feel like separating for a while will do us good, also we could get counselling and his management on anger if we decide to come back together. He can keep malice forever, always blaming me for all his problems. Very emotional and sensitive human being. I am tired of his immaturity and it seems the older he gets worse it becomes, he will be 45 soon. Any advice on what step to take is highly appreciated.

Let me make an informed guess.

Based on the information you have provided, you probably work for charity or christian ministry that does some work in psychiatric institutions, where you met one of the patients that had been stabilised and you fell in love with him.

Then you married him and after a while he stopped taking his drugs, or the dosage mixture was no longer adequate, hence he relapsed and turned back to his psychotic phases?

Am I right?

Because that is the only logical thing I can deduce from this story where there is nothing you did that contributed to this or triggered it.

Only a psycho would marry a woman that is completely innocent & good-natured and then decide to start spitting at her in an argument over minor TV debate (by the way, what a fcking disgusting outcome).

americanson:
Ahan... You got the moniker right boss. I am he. I have over 15 monikers on here. This one is my recent one

Na wa!

Me, I don give up on recording which one it is now. Too much for me.

americanson:
Well, I didn't turn to bad guy entirely... I just had to go underground and hide my real personality...

The last thing I would want is someone calling me weakling, a pest, immature just because I care... So RIP to that personality when dealing with these women.

Focus on your own happiness. Let them fit in or out.

americanson:
Funny thing... if u ask them what they want, they will still mention that they want a caring man but will abuse the man when he comes lol.

It was on this same nairaland one lady openly confessed that she ended a relationship because a man was too nice. She said he was weak... In another thread she mentioned he is an entrepreneur. I have never met an entrepreneur who is a weakling... It is not possible. The man's greatest undoing, according to her, was that he was NICE! My heart sank when I read that line.

When she was sick, dude left his office work to be with her and make sure She was okay. He nurtured her to good health again but she felt he was not good enough. And so, she ended the relationship.

Never take what women say seriously. Only take what they do.

Majority are full of shyt. They themselves don't even know what they would do.

What they say they will not do yesterday, you will find them doing 3 months later.

americanson:
I am of the opinion that every woman have forked up a man in the past and then repent as they grow older. They start searching for that "nice" guy that they rejected in their past timeline. How ironic!

Check out this guy on nairaland: "websurfer" and see what he has been through just because he has been too nice.

Of course!

They feel they are entitled to behave how they want, but you are a baaastard if you behave the way you want.

Life has to be to their favour and you are suppose to follow that philosophy. You know? "That is what men do" "That makes you a real man".

djon78:
Dude you be confirm bad boy. See how you pieces the whole thing.

Lol!

Guy, I am objective and blunt!

duwdu:
Aha, it's a trolling bully! I refuse to feed it any further; it's now totally ignored.

........
P34c3
.....
...

Intellectual bullying, son.

cococandy:
How does one have a conversation about a topic if they don’t even get the basic concept of it.
Again, to those who are used to having their way, equality seems like oppression because the world doesn’t revolve around their whims anymore. Welcome to the new age where you’re made to treat others like you would want to be treated

Well, sorry o!

I know you get the basic concept. You understand “equality”, don't ya?

Is it when you have an advantage? That is when you see "treating others the way you would want to be treated" exists.

Let me explore some of the promotions I see feminism pushing in the UK to fight for "equality"!

Do less for same pay: Nonsense noise about gender pay gap. Consistent use of moronic data to claim "victim".

Women doing less work or less value work than men are paid less? And so the fck what?

If more woman choose to be a nurse/air hostess/teacher etc, why would there not be a gender pay gap when more men choose to be a doctor/pilot/banker etc?

Serena plays 3 sets, generates less TV revenues but is supposed to be paid the same as Federer as Wimbledon winner?

They try to ignore the argument of "Equal pay for equal work or work that generates equal value". That one is not equality. It is SEXIST!

Power to choose what is assault/harassment: They are trying to create laws were a sexual assault/harassment crime is determined at the whim of a woman.

Basically, if she likes an approach, it is fine. If she does not like it, the man should be arrested.

An example is in Nottingham where the Police Commissioner Dyke decided to make wolf-whistling an arrestable "crime".

So basically, if a girl is passing the training camp of Premiership footballers that makes £50,000 a week and they wolf-whistle her, of course she would be back the next day until one comes to ask for her number. She would obvious have her head bloated. .............It is not a "crime".

But when she is passing a building site and some unfit illiterates that makes £500 a week wolf-whistle at her. She is free to call the police and have them arrested because she has been "assaulted". POWER!

You fcking know equality, init!

Crime to be male philosophy: When parliament committee is advocating that schools should educate and discipline young boys only (under 16) about sexting. Telling them to basically blame the young boys for asking for naaked pictures of "victim" young girls.

It is ignored that the young girls ask for naaked pictures of the boys as well. And if they are engaging in sexting, the girls themselves have equal responsibilities and accountabilities.

Sorry, I forgot, equality is defined as "a woman that is a man's equal but without the responsibilities and accountabilities of a man".

Rape naming: If a girl makes an accusation of rape against a man, the law says the man can be named by the media and his pictures plastered everywhere, but the woman has to be kept anonymous.

So, basically, equality means it is okay for the man to be treated as "Guilty until proven innocent".

Worse still is even when the girl is found to be blatantly lying, most times the law still helps her keep her anonymity. POWER!

We just had a fcking series of shambles where guys (at least 5 unlinked cases) that have been put in jail awaiting trial for rape have proven that the police had access to information that showed the sex was consensual but the police withheld it from the defence team. Information like the girl asking for them to come and hit it again or the girl texting friends saying she would ruin his life by claiming he raped her.

Now many rape cases have been found to have similar issues (with these guys' lives ruined) and there is emergency reviews of cases ongoing. The guys have been on the paper and TV portrayed as depraved predators for crimes they did not commit.

Guess what? ...........Till now, none of the lying biitches have been named or prosecuted. They continue to keep their anonymity with impunity!

Let me stop there. As I said, as a fcking brilliant social observer, I can give you fcking pages on things like this that you will spend the next one week reading.

That is what it has come to in the UK. Putting power in the hands of people that are naturally selfish and telling them there would be no negative consequences if they misuse it. .............Just have the power because it is "equality".

That is the equality concept I don't understand, but you understand na!

Treating others the way you want to be treated is by having power over their fate, but they don't have the reverse? Woman's logic, init?

YOU understand equality!

GENDER WAR!!! And I am a fcking Field Marshal in it!

Fck Feminists!

My demand for equality lies in the third world where it is needed!

americanson:
Lol, this one na new handle. My old handle, if i mention am here, everybody go know me wella... but check your email, we even talked about Buhari in our last email last year.

There is only one person that emails me that I know his handle keeps on changing everytime that I could no longer keep up.

I suspected it was the same person. Usually the name change is a variant of the old but this one na complete overhaul.

But I get it. 'Petroleum' is something interesting abi?

americanson:
Boss, dem deal with me eh... deal with me so tey my self esteem vanish. Especially the one I described in the context you quoted. I call her a witch.

That is the damage (as some ediot puts it "a few bad experiences" ) I see many guys suffer.

Only God knows how many marriages I have seen that I know the guy definitely does not feel his bride meets his looks requirement but he went ahead because his self-esteem has been destroyed and he is tired of the battle.

That is when you see them engage in one of the pillars of lies that traditionally holds up marriage; he would say it is personality that matters, looks is nothing, it fades.

I want to scream "E no go better for you! So are you telling me being with a woman with looks and personality is not better?"

americanson:
That one finished me so much that I would have done some evil shiit on her, especially when mumsi die and we became so broke. She made me hated women for long.

Physical violence is never worth it or an option in my view. I prefer to waka pass or waka on plus the prerequisite of my risk management in the first place.

I know a woman has a higher risk and issues than a man, hence many end up meeting their karma. No need for harming anyone.

americanson:
Then I set out for a psychological revenge since I couldn't do anything to harm her physically. I told myself that I will so mess her up, torment her mind and she started living in fears that I am going to harm her. I became her nightmare

Not worth it and in a sane country that could put you in serious trouble.

It is always better to risk manage. From the start focus on your own happiness and if she fits in it, fine. If not, she can fck off!

americanson:
One of the most heartless human I have ever met at that time, one who always felt she was right, one who NEVER APOLOGIZE, one who felt she was on top of the world because other guys were flogging around her... BEGGED ME. I swear, she had NEVER begged me before but she did and she begged in the name of God. She begged multiple times.

Does she use L'Oreal products?

americanson:
She told me she does not regret anything she did with any other person but she regrets everything she did to me and that she does not know whether it is omen that follows her around.

Back then, I told myself that I am gonna keep in touch, I am gonna make her see me rise... she is gonna see me grow and that image alone will frustrate her.

I don't understand how these daughters of eve mess up a guy so badly and they expect to get him back in same shape after destroy it. She tried coming back on several occasions, including offer me sex that she refuse giving me back then but willingly gave to a bad boy... .

At a point, she was WOOING ME to get me back

around November or December last year, I was chatting with her brother (I am not done with my plan so I am still hanging around ) and he said he does not know what happened between I and his sister. I said how do you mean? He said anytime he tells his sister that we chatted, her countenance changes... You never start.

What surprises me is that is how they mess you up and still come back to ask for your HELP! I mean, they mess you up so much that it comes to your awareness that they can kill...They take advantage of your gentleness, calmness , which they often interpret as negative and then go on to tag you weakling, immature, kid, pest...

After taking advantage of you, they will still have the nerves to ask for your help and I hardly ever help such people, those who look down on others because they feel they have upper hand and therefore take advantage of them.

She was the first person I didn't care if she was dying and i have the power to save her life... I wouldn't( at that time at the peak of this whole drama cos i was filled with rage and anger). She once told me she needed help to remove a tooth that was aching her. I refused to help. There were other instances of requesting for help which I refused as well. Where are all the guys (bad guys) she had in the past?

She once told me I am not handsome... she used same mouth to say I now look fatter and robust and handsome... she once said I am too cool for her liking, she used same mouth to say I have changed because she saw that I was completely GONE as she couldn't connect with me anymore! In one of her visit to my school, she noticed I WAS NOT looking at her while were at the park. Again, she started begging...

I am someone who loves revenge and mine is often unnoticeable because it can span years and you will NEVER know I am on a revenge... but that is for those who stretch their limit.

Most have no contrition, mate.

Many never apologise except they still like the guy. It is all about "me, me, me, me" to them.

Pure sense of entitlement but no responsibilities or accountabilities.

cococandy:
I can’t reply to all of your points. Some I agree with. Some I don’t. The part I highlighted, I would love to respond to.

1) there is no ‘luckily for me’ in this situation. Your stamp of approval or lack of it makes not a single difference in my life. Not one. Lord your arrogance is astounding

2) I do not accept praise that casts other women in bad light. I don’t care if it’s true or not. So no thank you. comments like that sow seeds of competition between women so that we are clawing at each other, trying to be the prettiest, most virtuous bla bla (whatever new you guys can come up with) in other to be most liked by men and that is why we continue to fight for equality up until now. Because our existence has been about gaining make approval. I know what’s important in life and it doesn’t revolve around what men or a man (in your case) thinks of me.

Na today?

Who no know say I dey arrogant?

You don't have to accept it o. But I will continue saying it.

Make no mistake; there is a serious gender war going on in the world at the moment. It was started and feulled by stupid feminists.

I AM PART OF THE WAR! As I would not sit my arse down and let anyone tell me that my rights should be secondary to theirs and they should get an advantage and even power over me. Which is what feminism has become.

I fight feminists and reetarded real men with a passion!

Secondly I am not a supporter of the women's L'Oreal movement aka "Because I am worth it" .................aka "I should have everything my way simply for being a woman". Selfishness begets selfishness from me.

americanson:
sagamite the dynamite... Baba e Don tey o. Na ur boy dey hail u... The one that regularly sent u email.

Chairman, waa pa!

How you dey?

Na new/changed username?

I am pretty sure I have never received communication from this one.

Wetin be the original?

americanson:
I can feel the pains of some brothers here. I am victim of what they portray so much that predator told me when we met 3 years later that I don't look anything as her pray (her actual words was that I have changed)

Today I don't even feel like a nice guy that I used to be... Like some others say, I rarely feel pity for most women who find themselves in abusive relationship but I wouldn't take it out on the op

I can even recount my experience with most of these girls. They don't like it when you are too cool or when you are too nice. They prefer the opposite, guys that treat them like jerks.

I had to change who I used to be, but still not a bad guy though.

Op, so sorry about your condition. You can make it. Just get skills and deploy.

You are a good writer and might do well writing for people and get paid for it too.

We all live and learn.

Dem go dey claim victim when na dem turn.

Look at another case of how guys get used and exploited, but the same girl would be the one whining later that guys did this or that to her and I am supposed to be crying like a binnnch for her.

https://www.nairaland.com/4324437/speed-darlington-spends-215-dominican

I bet she would not even pick up his call the next day and she would feel no guilt, obligation or contrition. It is her time and power.

djon78:
Another thing women always blame men a lot, most especially matured women.

The funny thing is that I think they do this only outwardly mostly as a defensive mechanism. Internally, alot of times when they are wrong, they know, and if you speak to many girls, they secretly put the blame for failed relationships on themselves.

djon78:
According to research I read sometimes ago, martured women always come into relationships with a lot of baggages, so most times they judge you from there past experiences.

Yep. That was why we said earlier that, for majority, true love occurs only in their early youth.

djon78:
During my dating period before I finally settled. I experienced a lot of issues from the women folk because I am the kind that believed that you have to treat women well, but also when she falls out of line I will bring serious discipline, and if you can't stand it, the door will be open for you to live.

GBAM!

Like most guys you are conditioned to think being nice is what works until you experience women. Then you realise you have to change if you are not an idiot.

Only a daft "Real Man" would be a mugu and continue accepting that the best interest of women is the only thing that matters.

djon78:
Now I want to refer to my fellow guys here. Despite what I went through, I always believed that I will get a very good woman. And likewise and behold finally God rewarded my resolve. I came in contact with a very young woman. She was 25 then, when we met first and I was 3 and half years off 40. Became serious about settling down around 32 but men it was battle. A point came I just believed I really don't have time for women drama again. Then emerged this young woman. Because of my personality women will feel that I am nice etc and will be showing nasty attitudes. So I began to hide my personality to women. But this young woman from the first time we met, she decided, her instincts was sharp. Men she never gave up, in fact I never had time for her, she was the one always calling. A time came I began to see that she was Very lovely soul. I gave her small time, she clung never letting go. After some time she wanted me to take it further. Never discussed wedding with her, she will send me pictures of suit she will like me to wear, wedding fing samples etc and this was then a 26year old. Finally I had to cave in and and then the deed was done. Honestly if that angel never appeared in my life,u don't think I would have settled down.

Well done, nigga!

You went about it the right way. I have always said the best kind of woman to date is the one that shows strong interest in you (and you are attracted to). Those are the ones you should take seriously quickly and the only ones to consider marrying.

djon78:
I have seen nasty men, women, a lot of my married buddies are really messed up. In fact one particular case a group of us had to really call him to other. He was from a very wealthy home from my state Anambara. Can you imagine he wedded and while he was on honeymoon men the guy housed girls in the same hotel he was doing honeymoon with his wife. And men the wife was drop dead gorgeous. I wanted to vomit that day and presently he is still living that life.

The yardies and kasalis moorons many black girls deserve.

djon78:
Have seen women folk too, but the worrying time for me is here in Lagos I reside I attend a mega church in Leominster axis, and men the level of highly successful women I see without man in there late 30s I was really concerned. Even some in my department, the funny thing is they will be feeling high, still selecting men but when you meet with them personally they are worried, while you see younger women, very serious with their relationship. Honestly this gives me serious burden. In fact there is a very big danger for our nation.

Play the ball well when it is in your court. If you don't, I don't care.

Looku Looku movement!

blarkraimez:
Do I meet people in the bus that shout how disgust they are with my skin color in the train or bus in Nigeria?

The ones in Nigeria would not shout how disgusted they are about your skin color. They would just be Fulani herdsmen hacking you to death for your bus honking at their cows.

blarkraimez:
Do i work from dust till dawn to pay only bills.....

If you can find someone from your tribe to give you a worthy job, because people only hire mainly from their tribe, you will work from 9am to 4pm, do doubt.

But you will be up at dawn to ensure you are not late to work and getting home at dusk because you have been in heavy go-slow as there are no traffic lights. Then you would not take the trains you currently have for granted anymore (even if people shout disgusted at your skin colour).

blarkraimez:
Am not saying I wasn't aware of all this challenges... no matter how long or how well packaged this place is ,am still a stranger.
Do I go to market place to sweep inside -1 degree with a PhD in view in Nigeria?

Being in stranger in a place you and your kids have safety and hope is far better than in a place you can identify with but you have cretins running it and creating an environment to frustrate and destroy your life.

When you have a PhD in Nigeria and no job is when you would appreciate sweeping before PhD and a good job after PhD.

There is more value in hope than in hopelessness.

blarkraimez:
Obviously with what you are saying you are basing your view on what you feel or think.... ask anybody, who no go no know...
If it's all bed of roses here, why do yoiu think Some people are stuck here for years?
People deliberately go to immigration office just for them to he given some little cash to just go back home.

My brother ask people that left a good job back in Nigeria and came to Europe probably you will understand my point.

I am in Germany sometimes and a lot. There are challenges there for black people, but nowhere as bad as being broke in Nigeria.

I have black friends that are professionals there and they have friends in their wider circle that are not in professional jobs who still live quite decent lives.

If one leaves Nigeria where they have a good job, I do expect them to struggle in a decent Western country because they would have bad habits and behaviours embedded in them from their years of experience. Most are definitely unhire-able in the same kind of job. Any Westerner hiring most of them in these jobs must have their heads checked.

Imagine someone that calls himself a journalist in Nigeria wanting a job as a journalist in London. ABOMIFUCKINGNATION!

Dimples129:
You act like an angry sex robot sometimes

I am like just like John Coffey in The Green Mile. I can see and sense what others don't normally see while it is in front of them and what I see makes me angry. I need to leave for another planet where I can be at peace.

"I want it to be over and done with.

I do.

I'm tired, girl.

I’m tired of being at the peak, seeing the stupidity in the world. I’m tired of never having me nice, intelligent people to be with, or tell me where we's fcked up, fcking up or why. Mostly I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the stupidity I see in and hear from black people every day. There's too much of it. It's like pieces of glass in my head …….. all the time.

Can you understand?"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3_IuPMya6k&

cococandy:
Such a disappointment

You actually got worse with age.

Maybe when you’re 50 you will stop hating yourself and your blackness

Really?

Disappointment?

Disappointment because you don’t like the facts or the reality?

Lets start with 2 fcking facts, sweetheart.

Fact 1: I have not gotten any “worse”. I am not getting any more brilliant either, because I am at the peak so that is almost impossible. These are just the same things I have been saying for fcking years on NL. I am getting fcking consistent as usual.

If there are any changes in my utterances, they are changes aligned to and based on observations of changes in society (e.g. the final outcomes of radical feminism I have been warning about for at least 5 years) but the changes are consistent with my espoused position right from time.

Fact 2: I am not the type to give a flying shyt about the approval of other people ESPECIALLY about my opinion. I expect people to feel privileged hearing them and learning from them. I don’t need your “appointment”, nor does your disappointment carry any weight in my life. My opinions are ALWAYS reasoned, factual, objective and logical. So telling me you are disappointed would not change them. I don’t base my opinions on subjectivity and you are a subject, I wouldn’t try to please you. The only thing that would carry weight with me is your solid counter-arguments.

Now coming to your point about self-hate and hatred of blackness. I think we all know the former is pure nonsense and quite laughable if you meant it literally; i.e. not a statement indirectly linked to the latter. It was just you getting emotional like most women do.

I think of myself very highly and supremely. Actually many think it is over the top, but frankly I don’t blame them because they don’t live my world or live in my head. If they did and saw how it feels to live a life where one is able to observe the world and to, every time, actually be able to spot, decipher and point out the BS in it in a fcking accurately manner, it would be like fcking “Alice in Clairvoyanceworld” to them and they would feel Godly too.

I am a fcking great social observer! It is my fcking talent just like playing football is Messi’s talent and running fast is Bolt’s talent. Those 2 also think highly and supremely of themselves. They are justified to.

Focusing more on the latter, hatred of blackness, it is actually an interesting point if you meant it in totality and not just linked to my opinions of the typical behaviour of black women (“sisters” as the black panther like to call them). It is interesting because you are highlighting that you know I am not only harsh on women, I am also harsh on black people. So all the likes of Ladyhippolyta88 talking nonsense about missipipioghene and hellovism are talking crap. I am ruthless against the black race in regards to progressive behaviours as much as I am ruthless with women in regards to relationship behaviours. As a matter of fact, I frequently call black people monkeys; more derogatory and less factual than women that I call “selfish”.

There are actually 3 social groupings I love watching their train wrecks based on their own stupidity that I have observed:

1) Women: As previously mentioned about majority of them’s selections when young and the abuse of their first-to-have advantage power (especially black women). Then expecting good outcomes in their solipsism later when the power shifts.
2) Black people: With their persistent idiocy and lack of intellectualism in their societies. The average black society hardly engage their brains when making decisions to the point they create shyt and weak societies (aka shitholes!), no wonder they were seen as and taken as slave material by other races. Some would say I am wrong that they were just unlucky. But I would say BS! The black race is full of stupid people who don’t understand their priorities and on average have a weaker brain than other races. Everywhere they go, their community is a failure and violent. The same things they were doing that led to them being conquerable (i.e. moronic traditions, culture, religiosity, leadership selection and lack of intellectuality) is what their buffoon descendants are doing today and some are selling them in Libya!
3) Muslims: I grew up observing how these people thought it was a source of power and exciting to demonstrate to other people that they are more violent than people of other religions and are more willing to die in a fight. They refused to condemn and be the first to condemn atrocities committed in the name of their religion; many secretly enjoy watching the 'power by fear' it gave them. I used to speak against this back in the day at A-level College. Now they have a completely discredited religion that is hated by a lot of people in the world to the point countries (not just Trump’s US) are refusing to take Muslim refugees. Worse still is that the bombers are now bombing the Muslims themselves and their community are the biggest casualties. .............Their fcking train wreck.

The worst thing is that these 3 groupings are the ones most likely to blame some other groupings for their woes, claiming they are being picked on, instead of looking internally at their own behaviours and decisions.

Girl, those are just snippets. Let me stop there, because if I pour the analysis in my head out, it would fill 4 pages and you will be too overwhelmed.

Unfortunately for everyone that falls within these groupings, there is no mechanism for stamping the ‘stupidity guilt’ on the foreheads of members guilty of the wrong-doing, so at the end of the day, all the members will potentially be subject to the collective consequences of the wrong behaviours. Only a few (guilty or not) would be lucky to escape the consequences. Hence, why people like me have to shout over the top to highlight it to the members to stop these stupid behaviours. If dem like, make dem hear; if dem like, make dem dey feel picked on. The consequences will remain there.

I love watching train wrecks of people who don’t see reason and refuse to do the right thing when they can. I have no pity or sympathy for such people. Looku Looku!

Luckily for you, I have always identified you as one of those that don’t fall into this class of under-developed black females. One can tell by observing some [small list of] black girls’ utterances and approach on NL. I have a good idea of which girls are classy and which ones ghettoish. Not that I am saying you would not have the selfish traits inherent in a woman (as demonstrated by your reactions here), you just come across as generally more self-developed and can control your potential negatives better than majority of black women. Don’t carry their cross especially as you are married. ‘People deserve to get what they deserve’ is my view in life.

What I stated are the realities on the ground. It is not only me saying it, others including TV stations and professional publications are saying it; some others are forming MGTOW. I just happen to be a pioneer in saying these things before they did because of my social observation gift!

peacettw:
@op, how are you doing dear? Once in a while do pitch in.. It's a pity your call for help has been hijacked by simpletons and silly things seeking for relevance. Hang in there, kk? And when you do pitch please mention me. That little luxury will afford me opportunity to sieve out some deluded comments in here. Later dear.

You are a cretinous person!

It is a buffoon like you that says the kind of senseless rubbish in your signature like the rest of your people that is calling someone a "simpleton".

Black moronic monkeys and their "God, God, God, God".

Relegate all thinking to some imaginary God and wake up with smelly gutter in front of you house and no light for 2 weeks. Yet turnaround and say your God is great.

Awon asinwin oshi!

duwdu:
In my post which you originally reacted to, all I said was that Obasanjo's latest "CN" idea was a "CoN," and Obasanjo a "Con-man" as a result. If that was not what you thought you were reacting to, then I don't know what else to say.

In the meantime, I'm happy to no longer tangle with you on this issue, and so carry my own cross alone.

Good luck!

........
P34c3
.....
...

You seem very confused about your own arguments. Evidence of people that like to talk first before thinking.

In your first post that I criticised. I criticised you for saying OBJ did not give alternatives.

Next time, take time to think before you talk.

Learn this: Talking is not a sign of high intellect. Keeping quiet about issues you don't understand is not a sign of stupidity. The content and quality of what is said is the measure of your intellect.

Dimples129:
You 'like' something

Of course! I like a lot of things.

You think I am not human?

I am just very clear on what I don't like.

Biafraqueen:
Hi guys,

I started dating a guy I really liked when i was on a waitlist for admission to study medicine . I got off the waitlist and decided to go to med school. He broke up with me because he didn't see the long term potential in us anymore .

He also raised questions of when I would be able to have kids and settle down (he wants to have kids before I turn 30 - ).

I am now terrified that I won't be able to find anybody because of my situation. This guy was so much of what I was looking for in a person and it hurts to lose him.....
Being a female medical student ,is it a turn off
Because this time i experienced the notion.

Thanks.

Lol!

The pure love of a young girl.

Girl, I know you are madly in love now, but trust me, the odds of you still being together or this madly in love in another 10 years are quite low.

You would most likely move your separate ways. Worse still, a boyfriend who is ready to leave you because of an issue that has nothing to do with you doing something wrong to him.

Do what is best for your career and continue with the nice personality. You come across as nice hearted. If your brain is well connected in the relationship arena as it is in academics, you should easily find a nice guy in future.

I know it may be painful to end it, but frankly, tell him to fck off!

Amakavula:
I made a thread about how to make men crave you ladies. But the comment section showed something I had suspected for a long time. A lot of guys don't really understand how the woman mind works. So here is a thread for the guys. Below was a cull I took off an article which I agree to a degree with. Enjoy.

A Man Who Will Tell Her “No” - Nice guys, I want you to start saying “no” whenever a girl ask you to do something. Do this for about a week and see the looks they give you change. Girls love a guy who will say “no” and then not explain himself. This is because girls want to be with someone they can trust and they trust a man who will say no because they are being honest about what they want.
A Man Who Knows How and When to Touch Her - Whether it’s a delicate touching her hand to accent a point in conversation or wiping a tear off her cheek with your thumb. Knowing when and how to touch her is powerful. She’ll appreciate a man when to be gentle and how to be rough.
A Man Who Looks As if He Has it All Figured Out - The reason why women care about a man’s fashion sense is because it is an indication to her on whether he has his life figured out. A man who knows what looks good on him and how to wear an outfit, shows her that he knows how to present himself to the world. This doesn’t stop at fashion. The less clueless you look the more attractive you will be to women.
A Man Who Knows When and How to be Dominant - Taking the lead without being domineering is rare skill. You should always look for opportunities to take responsibility during your interactions with women you are interested in. Pick the place the group is going to eat, it doesn’t mean you have to go there, but be the guy who is constantly moving the ball forward. Always try and err on the side of being bossy rather than passive.
A Man Who is Persistent but Doesn’t Beg - The way to be persistent without looking needy is to be charming. Asking a girl out multiple times isn’t creepy if you find a way not to be creepy about it. What helps with this is always having a smile, and not looking disheartened if things don’t go your way. Being able to move on and try again is powerful as it shows the girl that you have core confidence and small things don’t shake you.
A Man Who Walks Through the World With Ease - No person will make him nervous, no situation will have him looking stressed. He ask for what he wants with a smile, tells you no with a pat on the back. Life looks effortless for him because he’s so good at living his.

Very, very good list and insight.

In short, fantastic.

LuminousLace:
I'm an Igbo woman in my mid 20s,born in the states and have lived here for all of my life. My father died when I was a young teenager and it has been my mom that has had to support me (the oldest) and my siblings ever since. What makes things even more difficult is that one of my siblings is special needs. My mom is strict, as many African parents are, and I feel it has caused strain in how we talk and relate to one another.

I wanted to move out of my family home to find independence and be able to focus career-wise, but my mother takes it as a disrespect/betrayal. I have just finished school and will be starting a new job in a few weeks. I am with a man I have known for almost a decade and we want to get married in a couple of years, but my mom disapproves because he an American black man,but I know this person to be reasonable, supportive and caring. He is currently pursuing his masters and does what he can to help me focus on my own education and career. He wants to know my family, but my mom says that I won't marry him. She wants me to marry an African man, but she shows no interest in hearing what I have to say about the matter.

I respect my mother and her advice, but I feel that I must respectfully disagree with the way she is treating the idea of moving out and marriage. She is very strong in the head and adamant that what she says goes. I did not want things to go this way, but she is taking things to an extreme that is unnecessary. I'm not out to do drugs or drinking or what have you - I just want to progress as an adult, but I don't want that to mean that I sacrifice a relationship with my mother because of it. At the same time, I don't want to resent her if I drop my plans to move (there is already money put down and everything), because I feel that will happen.

Could anyone help me get insight on how to deal with this situation, especially when my mother refuses to discuss this issue in a sit-down type of way? Thank you.

Sorry to say, your mother is out of order.

Go ahead and do what you want to do.

It is your life, you are making what appears to be good and reasonable choices. She is the one making unreasonable demands.

Sorry to say, I have no tolerance for things like this. God knows my father and mother can't tell me what to do when it comes things like this. They would not even try it. My insight on how to deal with the situation is just do what you want to do.

If it was my parents, they know what I would say to them after I do it. It is a Yoruba saying: "Eni to ba wu ko be" (Feel free to puff up in anger till you bust).

They know their son, I get pissed when things that don't make sense is being imposed on me. Then the person would see the other dismissive side of me.

hungryboy:
it's all about you, your kids , and your happiness.
Dont give a damn about other people's opinion.
Better to be single than stay in sn abusive marriage.


I'll advice you to contact this woman on facebook named Olu Bunmi, she is an anti domestic violence activist based in the UK and she has been helping out many abused women to start afresh.

Search for her on facebook and send her a message.

"Real man", there is nowhere she has mentioned domestic abuse in that post.

Jupxter:
Its almost always a case of wrong selection...bUt then they deserve it, all the good girls i counseled on marriage that refused to take to my heed all are regretting as of today, the ones that stood out are happy.....good girls dont listen

Very very few girls are good/nice girls.

The better they look, they more likely they would not be nice. See FACT 2.

https://www.nairaland.com/1568999/why-nice-ladies-get-dumped#20465001

Laeroy:
Dear Nairalanders!!!

I'll express myself the best way I can as my writing skill is poor...

I'm a female and In the midst of a Marriage Crises, Yes my marriage is on the verge of a crash for so many numerous reasons.....

Each time there is an issue between my Husband nd I, He usually threatens me with packing out of his house, so this morning....we had an issue again, and he started spelling out his usual Terms and Conditions, so this time around, I've made up my mind to leave, But I asked him to do the right thing by going to Court to do the necessary divorce Procedures, but he insists that I leave that way dat he has no problem with me leaving.....


But I want it done the official way
.....We have a child and he has said I leave with her or drop her......

As regards the properties in the house, he bought majority of them.....we also have a small car we bought together......I mean how do I get a share of my investments in the home we both built?



And this is an advise to all ladies out there, do not be totally dependent on your Husband for everything.......If you do not think about anything, think about Death, it is no respecter of any persons.......

I will never understand how you ended up with a man that USUALLY tells you to leave his house after you have an issue.

Only you can explain, but I suspect very poor taste and selection of men.

If anyone is going to engage in [the miserable institution of] marriage, one would at least have the principles to know you share a home. Under no circumstances would you be telling the other to leave the house even if you are the owner EXCEPT the other person say they don't want to live with you and the other person does not own the house.

There is no way you can convince me that you did not see the red flags of the poor qualities of this guy before you married.

But then again I feel suspicious with another woman talking about her problem with her husband and alluding to "issues" that are not revealed.

Oyindidi:
I want know una take about this

https://www.nairaland.com/4299150/please-advise-me-marital-issue


Cc: sagamite

Having a read of that, my initial guts is that it falls in the realms of poor selection.

Will respond on the thread.