₦airaland Forum

50calibre: For a guy who always claim to be an intellectual, your comprehension is very poor. If you can't read & comprehend something as simple as my post, how then were you able to understand anything in programming?

No where in my post did I endorse violence, I was only attacking her comments, which doesn't seem to be from a rational person. There are multiple ways to deal with situations like that, those ain't one of them.

You were attacking her comments for her rights to defend herself and act in the best interest of her self-being.

Please explain the intellectual thought in your attack then so I can comprehend.

I wait.

Good Girl: Okay man from Sagamu, what happens when you meet a selfless woman? Do you take a selfless position with her as well? Do you treat her better than the selfish woman?

I am completely selfless.

Treat her far better than the selfish woman.

My interaction with females on NL is an example.

Ladies are treated as ladies and we can have a laugh, banter and repertoires.

Hoodrats are treated like hoodrats and I bash them intellectually very well.

Good Girl: Oh wait, let me guess, the selfless woman is probably not as "hot" and "fresh" as the selfish woman you want to bed/date, right?

Yep.

Fine girls are not normally that nice. They believe the world should be at their feet because they are used to a queue of men lining up to kiss their arse. Beauty is power and majority of women don't know how to handle power.

Note: Not to say ugly girls are always nice. Many are still hoodrats.

If fine girls fall out of line with me and don't take the steps to fall quickly back in line, I caught them off.

ifyalways: What is this thing

Sagamite !,come'ere now.

You have to forgive because thou does not knoweth the origins of the phrases.

[quote author=Omo_Alata]What about the case of a husband who is just a sperm donor? The wife is basically the one raising the kids.

Btw, sagamite u should have bended some more in that pose, I would have love to see the bubblicious of your booty[/quote]Ah! Omo, don't let me get raunchy o.

I will just post a pix of my twerking with my booty noni.

[quote author=nuges...1]Back in my university days she was admired by all but I was lucky to be her lover,we were the perfect couple,some peeps even started saying we look alike and even talk the same way.She was a dream come through,she Is the only girl I have fallen in love with except offcourse I fall in love tomorrow,she was sexy,tall,slim,dark,very intelligent with a very good sense of fashion.The love was mutual and spontaneous,all of a sudden things start messing up and we broke up on good terms,she later got married and is currently with two children,I stil hv feelings for this girl but I had to let her go little did I know that she was nursing this pain all dis years,she finally called me telling me she still loves me and that she wants us to continue dating irrespective of the fact that she's married,to cut the long story short,I told her I will think about it.I am really confused here,I need ur help![/quote]Rubbish!

She does not love you, she is looking for someone to love her and you are probably the best from her past at doing that, so she has selected you to fill the role.

Still loves you my arsse!

Where was her love for you when she got engaged?

Where was her love for you when she walked down the aisle?

The basic fact is that you can provide a benefit she desperately wants and her mistake husband is failing to give her, she does not love you.

Now, whether you want to provide the benefit is up to you.

Bludeville: Duude, in that empty nut you probably use as your brain, there was probably no space for the thought to occur to you that
1. Neither is he the only man on earth
2. I also have a family
3. I'm not one of those your village girls that think that marriage , bragging rights, and family is the be all and end all.

Bludeville: OMG!!! Another nut-sized brain..I am easily replaceable, and so the fvck is he! Sheesh! And yes in my world, it is all about me, no apologies, who was it supposed to be about before? YOU?
*rolling my eyes to kafanchan*
P.S I am definitely not like any other woman, but then i dont expect you to know/ understand what i mean.

Well said!

50calibre: Lol you sound like its all about you, like you call the shots. You are not indispensable you know?

Just like any other woman, you are easily replaceable.

person, I know this is your arena and specialty: To beat women.

Elbisco: lmao...u'll take birth control pills...as if U're the only woman on earth....forgetting dat a child would giv u a braggin right in a marriage...u also forget that he has a family....mtchew...dat y una no dey c husband marry

Cretin, and so what if he has family?

She should be dumb to have a child for a person like you?

MRbrownJAY: @OP
when some sad women get slapped AT THE WEDDING RECEPTION and still get married, here you are talking about "a few weeks after"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBOb5n8Dq_Y

WTF!!!

If I was that girl's family member. I would beat the fck out of him.

No matter what anyone says, if I am held, I would still continue causing trouble until that wedding cannot take place.

Bludeville: First, i will slap him back, whether i stay or leave depends on what happens next but i am definitely gonna get birth control pills for the next one or two years to make sure i don't have kids if he gets more violent.

Ori e pe dada! (Your head is very correct)

oyb: Desperate times call for desperate lies.

Madam minister needed two official bulletproof cars
The people before her did not need same
Madam could not go for a cheaper armoured camry

800,000 for a 5 year old car? One that must have been gathering dust in a warehouse as excess inventory?

Let us see what the drunkard in chief will do. This is enough to send the make up woman packing.

Under Goodluck Jonathan, nothing would happen.

This is normal and acceptable to the person.

^^^ So the spokeman lied before.

He took the standard and default Nigerian government position.

Merkki: Then show your face.

Ask stillwater.

I used to show my face when I first joined NL.

She used to sit by her computer and bat her eyelashes in delight all day.

stillwater: Buhahaha!

@topic
I think the former is better than the latter theoretically. They child would be used to the pattern in the former, instead of getting used to having a dad around and then all of a sudden he leaves.

Haters gonna hate.

I am a fine murrrafucker.

49cents: Well I smiled to myself when you say I am seeking a populist applause and the reason is that my posts are hardly anything but popular.

I agree with ou on the fact that women's desire evolve with age that is so true but my point is that every act towards a woman must be noble that is in tune with what is helpful to the man's evolution to develop into a self-conscious person.

Must be?

Why "must" it be noble? What happens if it is not noble? What makes all women deserve that acts towards them must be noble?

And you say you grammar is not for populist applaud?

49cents: We all have different temperaments both influenced by nature and nurture, and even 'needs' by the same said factors; yet the thing that remain deep down is that need for liberation that stems from certainty of oneself, let's call it existential need; if this need is not taking into account there could never be a proper development of the human person; other needs necessaiy find expression in the existential or else the person would be cought up in giving more resources than is needed to satiate these secondary needs.

Honestly this is just another set of grammar. Let me be frank with you, when you first posted and I read it, I thought he is very eloquent but I don't see the substance in his argument. That is why I challenged it.

I have said it before, I RELIGIOUSLY focus on the substance in arguments, not on the delivery:

https://www.nairaland.com/584507/every-human-being-almost-equally/2#7529571

All your arguments/positions delivered with well-sewn together grammar come as one of 2 sames: "populist" or "conformist".

There are people that are bamboozled by grammar, but Saga is not one of those people. That is why Obama is like the king of intelligence to some, to me, he is an above average man.

Liberation does not stem from the certainty of oneself. Liberation is a desire even those not certain of themselves want. Fucktards on NL that I insult everyday, who know themselves that they have a low IQ still desire to have the liberty to give their speech. Even mad men that have entered market (iyi to ti woja) still want to be liberated, not chained or strait-jacketed.

Now certainty of oneself is different from existence. So I don't see the rationale of linking certainty of oneself to existential need. There are many people who lack certainty of oneself who have existential need.

Read that quoted again. You just blowed unnecessary grammar without making a point.

49cents: A married freind once declared to me that 'men should not love, love is for women'' only women who don't know yet what they want and what is going on will fall and stay in love with such a man but what happens eventually as they evelove they extricate themselves from the stranglehold of such small-minded men

Women would stay with a man as long as he is in the upper echelon of their available best options, not when they realise what they want.

If he is at the top of their upper echelon and what they want, then they have reached nirvanistic happiness.

If he is not what they want but at the top of their upper echelon and above their threshold, they would manage. They do it all the time, you need to start observing them.

49cents: Men who suppress their desire to express their love are no less the victims of their vice; for to love freely and fully is the best that any human could ever experience. Thus any training that encourages a man to suppress his natural desire to love is self-destructive and a harmful impediment to a leading a fulfilled life

This lacks substance because it is just full of unsubstantiated and populist pronunciamento.

Ehn! Gba be. Emi na le blow grammar. (Take it. Me too can blow grammar)

It all goes back to the simple questions I asked you about what is love and its configuration.

So what happens to the natural desire of man to spread his seed? You think human (Western) dictated desire of monogamy and one-man-one-woman love is superior to natural desires. This why I said your arguments have no substance and is just populist.

49cents: My position is that let's heart desire lead him is everything falls into place; infact the women you drool over erstwhile will not make sense anymore; the man's thirst is well directed and less confused and when he finds the someone he is already equipped to 'go for the jugular' infact its as if he sends a special phrenemone that she percieves making the work a walk in the park. Simply becos he knows what he can bring on the table and delilah would loose her balance by the naturalness of his mystery and power.

You are alluding to conforming here.

If man's heart desire is allowed to lead him to everything, majority of men, during the majority of their lifetime, would be sleeping with as many women as they desire. There might be break points in their lifetime, but natural inclination would always lead them back to promiscuity in majority of their lifetime. It is societal pressures that make them "committed", not heart desire.

49cents: But I see you are more of a strategist who knowing what a woman u meet on the alley could need and u be just that to win her over without missing the mark. The need you meet here like you admitted is often the selfish and superficail

Me, I am a strategic risk manager.

When dealing with selfish people, I take the selfish position too. I am not built to take the position of loss, so I risk manage.

The reality is that, for most desirable women, if you are fair and forward with them, you would probably lose.

If you are tactical and a bit selfish with them, you would probably win.

So which one does a sane man take? A loss? Hell no.

The key determinant of how men behave in this case are the women. If they don't put you in a situation where you have to be a little bad to gain, then you will not be a little bad to gain. They have the power of controlling their own ability to win and create a win-win situation, if they misuse their power, then they should be the one being burnt, not me.

49cents: If the aim is perfecting the art of getting any woman that catches your fancy I have nothing to add nor subtract its your art and choice;

What I say is that you do not slip into a state where a woman is reduced to an object of your chauvinistic conquest with you ending up being consumed by the power of your predatory prowess!

The means never justify the end; but in this case the end is not even worth it;

More of the populist, "real man" nouns/adjectives.

Chauvinistic?

So when men go for their best interest, "they are chauvinistic"?

But when women go for their best interest, "it is a natural and rational inclination of being a woman and men should just accept it and adapt to it"?

Poor victim woman? Mate, that thought is what is chauvinistic.

As long as you find women intelligent and an equal peer adult, you will not feel they do not have the oblongata to engage on an equal basis with men. They are adults. They have their choices and can make it without anyone claiming that the "predatory" men are exploiting them.

49cents: Once u have it you have it; u don't have to strategise or scheme infact the man will be hiding himself like a celeb who does not want to be noticed easilyd; his genuine detachment is what even makes him super sexy, mainge the ladies even fall over themselves to win his heart yet he does not savour this, for his eyes have been caught by the Truth and beauty of his being and desiny that a bevy of eager ladies are but only a shadow!

Every man likes to claim they have it.

But if you don't understand women, then you likely don't have it.

The best I can summarise your position is the "Church Pastor" approach. Church pastors, from my experience, do not attract women like magnets. Women don't fall over themselves to win their hearts.

This quote is really just another unsubstantiated and populist pronunciamento as well as another statement that ignores the spectral diversity of human beings.

Let me use the spectral diversity to test this statement: "What if a guy is not the detached type. Are you saying he should not strategise and scheme"?

I am not even going to bother going into the "Truth and beauty of his being ...............". Just meaningless grammar that does not add any substance to the position.

Merkki: Lol. Liar. With that profile picture, you should be close to 47

I am young, black and handsome o.

Merkki: I actually don't see that as a problem. You can tame her. What's the big deal?

Awey, persin tell you say I be Craig Busch (The Lion Man)?

I no get skills to tame o.

I am proficient in wakapassing sha.

When it comes to women, any hassle, me gonna!

Merkki: 46? Your grandmother?

I am only 17 years of age o.

Merkki: On a serious note, she is beautiful. Scratch that! Very beautiful! I know she has anger issues and she is violent but i don't think it's something you can't handle. And she is only 46.

Ehen! Ati de idi ishasun. (We have reached the root of the problem).

Me handle wetin?

You no know me. I love my peace which bachelorhood adequately provides.

And 46 is old enough to be my grandmother.

Merkki: Maybe. It's clearly not for someone like me that likes love and men. I can give anything to be in a man's arms for hours, stealing kisses and getting...

You mean you can not bat for the other team?

Merkki: Lmao. My aunt would go ballistic on you if she gets to read this piece. Will you marry her? She is beautiful?

If she was that beautiful to the point I don't suspect you are using family-bias prism to look at her, she would not need you asking me. Many men would harass her until she signs the papers at the altar.

Post her pix lets see.

Merkki: Quite possible. But there is no explanation to support her refusal of suitors.

- The suitors are not the ones that ticked her teenage wish list or she is hoping for a long lost love to see sense and return.
- The suitors were not reliable emotionally and/or financially.
- The suitors are already married.
- The suitors never existed. It was all a made up story.

Merkki: Yes i do. Though it depends on when divorce came in. At least, they enjoyed family harmony for a while. With time, they would understand what went wrong and the real issues of life. Reasonable divorce parents would raise them not to make same mistakes they made.

Now compare a child that had no family. He grew up with a father or a mother. No show of love towards the opposite sex in the name of marriage or co-habitation. He could grow up to believe marriage is a sham and unnecessary. He would be denied of family love and unity no matter how little. He would have nothing to learn from. He would see life in a one-sided way and wonder why mum didn't marry daddy. Or why dad never loved mummy enough to marry her. He could even think he was a mistake or a product of over-active pën1s.

Nope.

Virtually always it will always be a sign of failure in their lives and the first major failure they have experienced.

They will adapt to it but deep down it would be one thing in the world they wish they can reverse.

As for your second point, there are many children that grew up in single parent homes who grow up very willing and eager to marry.

I agree he would have not much to learn from and have a one-sided view. But so will the child whose parents divorced when young.

Merkki: I understand your point. I know of women who don't want marriage. My aunt has 4 children from 2 men and she doesn't want to settle down. She is 46 now and the children are grown. She turned down marriage proposals. She would tell you she is married to her career. She is beautiful and won beauty peagant when she was younger.

I know of another friend that doesn't want to have anything to do with marriage. She lives in New York with two adopted sons.

To each his own. I wonder what a baby daddy is though. How do you explain there is no mummy? Too many questions from the children.

Let me tell you what I think.

- Your aunty is lying to you just to save face.

- Your friend more convincing, probably does not want marriage.

rafcrown: ONE DAY REVOLUTION WILL HAPPEN IN NIGERIA.I PREDICT THIS

What revolution?

You have 5 times more chance of having an ethnic genocide in Nigeria than a revolution.

Have you seen the fucktards on this thread?

I am so harsh on fucktards because I have lateral thinking. THE ARE DANGEROUS!

These fucktards are easy to push to kill you (the "them" ) quickly by just repeatedly telling the fucktards that they (the "us" ) are being victimised and cheated by the other tribe ("them" ). They ("us" ) are innocent, reasonable, considerate and well behaved victims being oppressed and exploited by wicked, heartless and selfish people ("them" ) who they ("us" ) are stronger than ("them" ) and should show this.

That is how the Nazis did it. That is how the Rwanda genocide started. Because of fucktards and their moronic "Us vs Them" utterances along ethnic lines. Content of character has no bearings.

I just pray if genocide happens in Nigeria, ALL the fucktards on this thread and their entire families don't survive. They should have the most brutal death in the hands of the people they hate so much and whom they try to whip up ethnic hatred in. I pray their sisters and mothers are raaaped brutally and all their families have their brains hacked to smitherens with machetes.

Merkki: Some people just want children. They don't care about marriage, love, co-habitation or whatever. Even if they had the option of real marriage, they'd rather choose to have children without marriage than spend the rest of their lives with a man.

I thought that was what you opted for, by your first response. I am optimistic about marriage. If it doesn't work out, fine. I just feel a child would prefer a broken marriage to no-marriage at all.

You really think so?

elrony: Saga...am I eligible to answer??

Go un sorn! (Go ahead)

ifyalways: Why you dey open teeth like a product of a failed . . .

Adaptation and Orientation:In BD situation,the child/ren are already used to the fact that daddy does not live with mommy unlike the rude shock that awaits children whose parents are going through divorce,some of such kids sadly never get to understand why daddy and mommy would suddenly start living apart.

Drama and frustration: It's less in baby daddy situation,IMO especially if both parents from the onset,just wanted to make a child together.

No kill me with laughter o.

That is outrageous. As American women say on Real Housewives of ....[insert choice].... : "Who the hell says that"?

Merkki: Of course not. But i don't want to have children for the sake of children. I want to have children with a healthy home as the product of our love. We are different, i suppose.

And if you don't find love?

carefreewannabe: Sorry Saga but I don't really understand the question. Before I misinterpret it, can you please explain what you mean?

Would you compromise your wish for marriage and have a baby for a guy who you madly love?

carefreewannabe: Food for thought.

I can't tell because I am one of those children who have always had a father at home. And I still believe that it is paradise like to have a mother and a father under one roof who love each other. This is the healthiest environment for a child.

However, I have seen children whose parents go through divorce when they are 10 +. Most of these children are negatively affected which is shown in their school performance. Being once good students, they change for the worse, at least for some period in time. So maybe growing up with your parents seperated right from the beginning, could be better than having to go through the trauma of divorce and your father moving out.

If a guy you are madly in love with but you know is not good for you proposes a baby father model instead of you both getting excited and tying a knot that would inevitably turn loose, would you consider it?

ifyalways: Depends. A r3tardeed baby daddy is neither > nor < a divorced cretiin.

Baby daddy for me.

Why baby daddy?

Miracleojo: .
sir with due respect I think it's you that isn't employable..I fellow homo sapien like you just aired his opinion and you stooped so low as to dishing insult.....I think that didn't make you a better graduate sir....learn to be civilised in ur idiosyncracy and ratiocination........
AM SO SORRY FOR REPLYING YOU THOUGH

You are a person!

I am at the level to determine if you are employable, not you determining.

49cents: Without trying to give into cheap flattery it is obvious you are a very observant person hence you speak from not just a train of thought of just logic but from the experience of the reality as it pertains to relating with women.

A man does not have the liberty of giving himself 'needs' or categorize them at will.....the needs are part of his structure so the work of each person is to be attentive and look at himself to see what exactly constitutes the nature of his needs.

From my experience I do not see how any man could truthfully declare that sleeping with as many women as he possibly can or having the expertise to bed any woman that catches his fancy is his need!

The highlighted is exactly the hole I found in your position of "mature men".

People are different. They come in all different shapes and sizes. They come in all different emotional state. The come in all different physiology. They come from all different backgrounds and with different life experiences. Hence their needs are different.

Saying the ones you agree with their needs are "mature" is absurd.

Some will seek love in life, some are not of that emotional state.

Some are effeminate, some are masculine.

Some have a high libido, some have a low one.

So they all have different needs and your needs is by no means the right one.

49cents: Of course they can be his need just like cocaine is to a junkie or the urge to behold the scared countenance begging for mercy that a serial killer enjoys just before he slits the throats of his victims and as life gradually drains out of their bodies......these are not needs even though they give a fleeting satisfaction to the unfortunate soul who has been consumed by this urge.

Dictionary definition of "need": "a lack of something wanted or deemed necessary".

49cents: My rejoinder on this thread and to your posts simply stem from the motive of pointing out that there is the need to love, to experience love precisely as it pertains to relating to a woman is not to be suppressed because of the risks of being taken for granted or the pains of loosing that love altogether because of it wasn't expressed with the 'caution, wits and norms that women expert peddle in books, blogs and forums like nairaland'

What is love?

What is the configuration including in terms of depth, number of participants, reciprocity, roles, timeline etc?

What happens if one does not experience it?

As far as this is sounding to me. It is like someone saying: "there is the need to know God, to experience a relationship with God".

I am thinking: "What the hell is this person talking about"? It really is an empty and unprovable life desire that is personal to the mind of the author.

49cents: Impressionable inexperienced and perhaps hurt young lads jump at this tips even though most times they lack the liver to carry out cos it is not always that mechanical; what is tragic is that they loose sight of the higher desire to actually know whom they trully are and what they are truly looking as a man.

I agree with you.

But practice makes perfect. I have always advised guys to chat up women that they don't even fancy because it is not the day they meet the ones that blows their mind they will start practicing with her. As a matter of fact, it would be harder and they would probably fail if they are not prepared.

I periodically chat up girls I have no interest in to stay in shape.

You don't wake up one morning and say you want to run in the Olympic finals without having gone through the Meets for practice. you need the practice to know your opposition, the setting of your start blocks, your race technique and what type of attire works for you in different weather conditions.

49cents: When a man immerses himself into the journey to self-awareness, to finding meaning to what he is, then he is reborn into a Man that is exudes that mystery and power that women seek in men; same thing is true for women too.

When a Man is reborn after an encounter with who is truly is he begins to exhibit the traits which the other man who is reborn by seeing women as persons who will always have a soft spot for the sexiness and machoness of that Malboro cowboy image, for that emotional detached

A mature man is one who has been reborn by a journey of self-awareness and to his assent of what he has encountered inspite of his preconceptions and the common mentality he is risks being encrusted in.

This man will exude the mystery and power that would make him appeal strongly to the woman that he finds desirable and exceptionally correspondent to him and his worldview, which is largely objective

His thirst to satisfy the instinct of establishing power over a woman or mesmerising her with an acquired self-image which he gains only by the violence he has done to himself and by the twisted way he now sees women becomes weaker as he gives expression to the urge for that primordial desire for liberation which is a consequence of the Truth and Beauty

This is all grammar and has no meaning except an appeal for populist applause.

Women are different but they have an evolutionary setting which can help you predict the mapping most of them fall in.

At different ages, they want different things based on purely fulfilling desires (mostly selfish). Desires that is heavily dependent on their power (their looks) and secondly on their life experiences.

Attraction is not a choice, it is what it is. A spontaneous spasm of the mind. When a woman is choosing to be attracted to a guy, it is a tactical scheme to fulfill, mainly, none emotional desires.

What they want at 14 is different from what they want at 21 or 30 or 45 or 68.

Going to be reborn by a journey of self-awareness and to his assent of what he has encountered inspite of his preconceptions and the common mentality he is risks being encrusted in will not make a guy appeal strongly to the woman that he finds desirable and exceptionally correspondent to him and his worldview.

It is by understanding what the woman he finds desirable desires at her stage of life and being the type of person that fulfills that desire that would make a woman attracted to him.