₦airaland Forum

themainman600:
were you deaf while watching when they said they weren't allowed to use phones

Story!

They couldn't come out when the man was alive but are now bold to testify because the man is no longer here.

They should rather tell us their grudge with SCOAN, not all thees makeup stuff. I won't take it.

YourMrBoo:
What about his other daughter he bore outside wedlock

What's that her name again

She deserves her recognition too and as a good Christian you don't have to dehumanize her cos of her irresponsible father

What other evidence do you have apart from the BBC claim? Do you know her mom or maternal family? You think it's enough to go with BBC that the woman is TBJ's child? You don't accuse someone falsely simply because you don't like them. Beware!

Useless government.

Zonefree:
Na Senegal I dey support for this AFCON.

Super Eagles is not a serious team.

Sentiments aside, I want Sadio Mane to win. I like people with a heart for others, and for that I pray he wins so he can do more for his people.

Gerrard59:
I am not a fan of too many children, especially when I am saddled with the responsibility of catering for them. That has been my nature, and I knew it was real the first day I resumed at my PPA. The sight of the children hit me! "I whispered to myself: it can never be me. Never should it happen." So, I want to do my part to prevent such. I am an advocate of each human being responsible for his/her actions rather than abdicating them to anyone else.

Additionally, I am a fan of women's bodies, especially young women: their succulent breasts and oiled vaginas. Should I indulge in away matches, I don't want to score own goals.

Condom is the way but not a guarantee. The standard days method is only best with your wife, not some random girl that you can't trust.

Karleb:
It's always interesting to watch Nigerians put themselves into hardship intentionally just by making awful decisions.

I no dey pity them again. Baba! Oil dey your head.

Lol. We can only keep talking about these issues and praying for change. Even though our government is bad, we can still navigate through life here and come out strong. That's what I believe.

Gerrard59:
Twale! You have finished work. It has been a long time since I have seen anyone write so comprehensively about early reproduction without considering the state of the economy and non-adherence to contraceptives.

Well done! The major difference between how you explained it and how I would have explained is the choice of words. You are a calmer version of myself on a topic like this.

Your neigbour did himself very bad, ditto the woman. My crush in secondary school gisted me how she declined the advances of a man based in Canada because he mentioned she would have four kids as part of their union. If I marry someone like that, I might forgo vasectomy because I know what she can do.

The bold are pertinent aspects to note.

Thanks again.

Birth control is both ways. Married people must learn to give each other the right support for a better future of their family. The whole thing makes perfect sense when the woman takes responsibility for it. I'm not in any way trying to push it on the woman but the woman can check it better than the man.

An average man hardly considers anything when he's in the mood, but a woman can make you pause because they are not as hot as you feel. Again, when the chips are down, they suffer more.

And you keep talking about vasectomy. Why are you keen on that option? I'm not against it anyway, but I prefer the standard days method and condom use. No big deal with them! I personally taught my woman how to determine her safe days and we use that window very well. You know what I mean

So, once the days are over, we go back to condom, and also face our work because once you are too free, you may likely want to do it often, but when your hands are full, you'll most likely get tired or forget about it sometimes.

When it comes to birth control, everyone must know about it and play their role. Above all, we don't have to allow it come in between our success or happiness in life, else the essence of life becomes defeated. I don't see anything about life if you are not successful or happy with your life.

For some of us, the only place we missed it is in the area of early marriage and pregnancy, and before you know what's going on, friends and family have ignored you to your fate. In a country that we are already plagued with bad leadership at all levels of governance, no one will want to associate with someone they can't get any tangible help from.

Gerrard59:
The mentality lies in the Nigerian culture (some ethnic groups are worse than others) and religion which tell people that children are blessings. I have been preaching since 2016 on this forum that children are not blessings from God just because they were born. Any woman can give birth including a mad woman. Children are only blessings when taken care of. To properly take care of a child(ren) requires money, time and energy. Our people just believe in marry today, born tomorrow.

As for your neigbour, two children never do for am? Why does he need more children? Having a son? I am sure he wants to the child to "takeover his lineage and name". Put his name into Google search and NOTHING WILL COME OUT! Sometimes, I blame Nigerian women and how they have allowed themselves to be deceived by religion. If I was such a woman, I will search for the best contraceptive my body accepts and play the long game till menopause. Meanwhile, when one mentions vasectomy to Nigerian men, they foolishly think it stops erection and semen production.

You've touched some real good stuff in this comment. Like you've said, children are only a blessing when they are well taken care of—not choking them up in a room and expecting miracle of success when they grow into adulthood.

There's a baby genius in Maths on TikTok. The child is just two and can't really talk but can do wonders when it comes to arithmetics (not simple ones). You keep wondering how he does it, you don't understand. The child gives you straight answers to multiplication problems that should take long steps to get the answers.

When commenters asked the mom how she did it, the young mom explained that she exposes the child to learning on YouTube. So, the child keeps absorbing and absorbing those materials until it got to a stage that his brain got configured to also solve those problems without further classroom learning.

What are we saying here? The parents were able to sacrifice a screen in the house, got internet connection, and made time to supervise the child to consistently feed on the content of whatever channel that was coming from. They sacrificed the time needed for the child at that time. Now, we can only imagine the genius that child will become in future. And that's going to make things very easy for the parents because the child is going to start making money earlier than his peers.

So, once you have prepared for the child and have everything in place, parenting becomes easy. You just get result without much struggles. How many parents make time or have the financial muscle to raise a child like that? But they don't see it that way. They don't even see anything wrong with their abysmal parenting situation. Their only joy is that they are married and God has "blessed" them with kid(s).

Then when it comes to contraceptives, I think the sensitization isn't enough, but then, who are you waiting for to sensitize you on what contraception method is best for you or how it can help your life? Sadly, there's so much knowledge gap there. Do you know that most married men don't even have regard for contraception? I had a neighbor who's now in his village because of self-induced hardship. Then I used to bring condoms to the compound and I'll call him to come get some like guys do, but nigga will be behaving as though I'm introducing him to some sort of sin. So, I stopped and used my weapons alone.

Years later, he's burdened his life with two kids in a bedroom flat. His wife was doing nothing while he was a Bolter. Long story short, they had to relocate to the village because of hardship—they couldn't afford the rent again. But what brought the hardship? Unplanned marriage and pregnancy! Once women enter marriage, they want to have a baby. They hardly care whether you use condom or you don't, afterall, everyone enjoys skin-to-skin. So, you got a child when you were not doing anything serious and as if that wasn't enough, you impregnated the woman again while she was breastfeeding the baby and that forced her to wean the child at hand.

The man rejected contraception because he thought married men don't need it and the woman wasn't responsible enough to insist on protection or no sex. So, it's a whole lot of issues that require reorientation of our people. They won't just listen to you and when the chips are down, they want to push some of their responsibilities to you else they see you as not wanting to help them. Meanwhile, both of you hard same opportunities and even from similar backgrounds but you were able to delay some gratifications to fix yours.

Sometimes, they may even feel you are doing fraud without knowing that there's nothing that can bring a man down so quick like him rushing into marriage and beginning to make babies he can't raise. That thing is one way ticket to poverty and when their eyes become clear, they regret everything. By then the children have probably become street children and no longer respect them, because the children now see them as useless or near-useless parents.

Again, where's the glory? Where's the joy?

Evolutionism:
God bless you for this post.

Amen

tensazangetsu20:
I had the same mindset back in 2020. Honestly, I didnt even know Nigeria was that bad until 2020. I saw the country was finished. To be honest, if I never left I will never get married or have children in Nigeria. I will just save enough to live quietly in my village till death comes.

Lol. There's nothing I hate like poverty. How can I sit and watch my children that can't even fight for themselves living in want? Many parents in Nigeria today can't even afford baby food let alone children toy.

I have a neighbor with two babies in a self-contain room. We are both paying rent. The wife takes care of the babies in the house while he works, but how much is he paid monthly? Peanut! Not even up to 200k. And he'll be bragging about having a son, when he's always timing to see when I leave the house so I can drop him off. Now, tell me, when is he going to leave behind such poverty? Where is the joy in raising the family? How can I live with two kids in a self-con, even if 1 or 2 bedroom flat sef, as long as it's rented? When am I going to build my own house and stop paying rent?

So, these are the issues. No be say we like to dey fornicate, but that's better than getting into a mess in the name of getting married or raising a family.

tensazangetsu20:
I would if I dey your side. You deserve one for that comment.

No wahala bro. I only wish the young man would take it and run with his life.

Usually, I plead with young men around me to exercise a little restrain, fix themselves, and from there, they can go build a family.

All of us would have loved to finish with childbearing before we get to 40 or 42. I would've loved to do that, at least that's what is obtainable in first world countries. Even before 35, many of them are done with childbearing—two or three kids and they done. Before 40, you see their body recovering and the females will appear like they've not given birth before.

But here we are in a country that our leaders don't care about us; nothing works here. The few gains we made as a country, they've destroyed everything as we speak. Today, the once giant of Africa stands like a begger. Nigeria is practically begging for survival. As young people, and we have to understand this sad reality and adjust accordingly.

I come from a humble background so I've tasted poverty. Poverty has a sour and bitter taste. Its color is black, and once it draws you to itself, your life practically becomes like the black color, a dark night, and a nightmare. The taste of your life becomes sour and bitter, and everyone tries to distant themselves from you—not because they truly hate you, but because you have nothing to offer—nothing to offer yourself, nor your children. There and then, it becomes clear to you that your life is a waste. But you had the chance not to get here

Sometimes, I don't teach people how to lead a good life. I sit with them and talk about poverty and the moment they make up their mind to reject that demon, they become motivated to work—putting everything else aside and just fight to defeat that monster.

Being a Nigerian, I know this country so well and I know it may never change—at least, not in this generation. So, I seize every opportunity to talk to young people about ways they can fix their life independent of the support they ought to get from the government. The task may be enormous but it's surmountable. It requires patience, hardwork, consistency, focus, and determination to succeed.

You'll be wasting your time if you keep jumping from one hustle to another. It shows that you are not serious or you may be too in a hurry to make it. Let's take the poster here for example, he's invested some amount of time, money, and other resources into becoming a frontend developer and he's on his way to becoming an expert in that field. Sadly, he now feels he's been wasting his time choosing a path that doesn't work and now feels like throwing away the experience and momentum he's been gathering in the coding sphere.

If that happens, he's going to start all over again elsewhere. Meanwhile, they are people succeeding where he's running away from and all he needed was to build on what he's known already and keep forging ahead. When it comes to success, you don't do magic. You just have to find a way and keep building up the momentum and with time, even nature will bear witness with your spirit that you've done your best and it's time for you to be announced to the world.

I can keep talking and talking. There's a formula to succeeding even in a rough country like Nigeria, but you have to be serious. It's not a game of luck but hard work—putting first things first, and not giving up.

I wish all of us the best in 2024.

tensazangetsu20:
Someone has even advised you well OP and you still came to post the thing here. Men I wish I could like this comment more than once.

Lol. Come buy be beer nah

I don't understand but I enjoy hearing the language

As long as you keep putting pressure on yourself, you'll go nowhere. Many things are wrong with you and someone like me may not even consider you for a job. You are so much in a haste.

In one hand you are talking about getting a job; in the other you want to get married by 35. If the realities in this country can't make you calm down and clean up your life to a very good extent before getting married, I don't know what will. So, if you find a job that pays let's say 200k now, the first thing you'll do will be to get married right?

What's wrong in getting married between 38-40 or even at 41? Do you know that the quality of life you give to your family matters more than the family itself? Do you usually reflect how your life would've been if you went to a good and big school where you make friends with children of the rich? Why do you want to end up average and even make your children stay below average?

Plan on giving your family a very good life. Don't rush into marriage. Take your time and develop yourself. Since you know frontend, go for backend. Develop your own project to show that you really know. And such project should contain or show all the key things about being a fullstack developer. Companies prefer all-in-one programmers.

Put your head down and build your life. Take marriage off your table for now.

I won't waste my money on them. They're not serious.

collins2good:
Is Tinubu now seeking for their attention

If you don't seek a president's attention, whose own would you seek? For your information, Udom isn't seeking Tinubu's personal attention but his attention as the one occupying the office of the federal republic of Nigeria. So, you guys should mind your language.

hazinibones:
Hey chief, I am eager to understand what you mean by this please.

What's your question? Understand what exactly? I can't repeat the same thing. Where's your confusion? By the way, I hope you know I missed a word somewhere in that comment - I think the first line.

mistacoco2:
Hello guys,

For some days now I have been on a serious dilemma whether to resign from my federal government job that pays me above N200k for my current position and migrate to the UK or stay in naija and set up a business to augment my salary. I will be 34 years next year, I feel traveling to the uk for studies next year September will delay my chances of getting married, as I have planned not exceeding 34 years without getting married.

I belong to the school of thought that believes can make it in Nigeria despite all odds. However, considering the economic realities of the country, I have recently contemplating of japa and maybe get a Nigerian lady for marriage after my studies.

Please I earnestly need matured advice from you guys to know how to start the coming year.

You are even making any meaningful thing and marriage has become your major problem. This is how you end up falling into poverty. For your traveling, if the option isn't to be considered by the government over there for basic benefits, then think twice about it.

Adebaba1:
i really commend the government for this gesture
the initiative really helped the travellers especially the south easterns but they will rather keep mute
some people from that side will still find fault in what they did
Turn the table around, they will be praising PO writing epistle up and down on all social media pages
Their hypocrisy is really disgusting
i have not seen any of them come out and praise BAT
It is very sad

for context, i use to support PO but with the way their supporters were very hostile to the former opponents, i realized its a party of hate and i shifted my position

Story for the gods. Keep your support for APC. At least they are dealing with you back to back

Adanambra1:
i am 39 weeks today and 5 days oo
first timer mama
i don exercise tire
chop pineapple tire
i dey do the do regularly
i don chop spicy food tire... everything on the internet, i have done.
scan already say my baby is head down position
3.5kg....
people of God, what do i do next to avoid Pitocin inducement or epidural

Don't induce sh!t. Wait until you've crossed 42 weeks before you begin to worry. You are still within safe weeks.

egobetter4me:
My write up isn't funny. It is my true life story. You're welcomed to mock me though!

So, does it mean the girl can't be fixed? What if you need her to stay alive? I want to believe she's not a mistake in your life. Itemize how you can clean her up and do just that. You can't move on without her right now.

AngelicBeing:
Nawao, Dem Don already collect egunje of 500 pounds 💷 from you to chop MacDonald's , why didn't you post this question before you gave them the egunje

He was claiming to be smart nah. Even him knows that this is a scam that's why he's bringing it to the public.

AlluviaUC:
It's just a more effective means of control and theft by government. With emoney they can produce currency out of thin air without printing cash that comes with serial numbers which can be easily traced

Nigeria will always be in a state of confusion because they've so corrupted the economy to the extent that they the managers of the economy are confused about the whole thing. I don't see any reason why they should be talking about enaira today if they were sincere. But they have to because some of them are enaira billionaires.

elder1002:
It's a good development... Reduce cash hard cash in the country by promoting more digital cash transfer..

Its a great development 🔥🔥

Is there anything that's not a good development to you zombie? Even if they're talking rubb!sh, it's a good development because your brain is gone because of peanuts.

Enaira that we all know we don't use it is what they're painting as though it's a thing? It's alright. But you know what? I'm happy because I know your peanut can't afford anything. So, at the end of the day, you are doing yourself.

Quintessence44:
YOU are the zombie.

The refinery is about far more than the immediate cost of fuel.

Nigeria becomes self-sufficient in, and a net exporter of, refined petroleum products bar none in Africa with this 20 billion dollar refinery.

Have you any idea the impact that this will have on industrialisation and GDP?

Do you know how many ancillary businesses and industries will be started in Nigeria in the years ahead based on our self-sufficiency in refined petroleum products?

I’ve actually read a foreign report that states that the establishment of the Dangote refinery officially makes Nigeria an industrialised country.

Better go do some proper research on the facility like your peers are doing, and position yourself going forward.

Pipe dream. Keep maturating on that. Zombie

lordm:
Imagine owning a refinery. This refinery is a blessing to this country

Someone's private business is a blessing to you, yet you are buying fuel for over 700 naira per liter. You see how confusing it can be to be a zombie right?

DrDoc:
Unless you have excess, it is better to expand income generating systems. I.e build more businesses than build a house that doesnt generate or create substantial wealth on time

So, how does people in real estate start? What if he builds the house within three months and sell it, maybe with a profit of 5M-10M naira?

CapitalBank:
I know things are expensive due to economic trajectory of the country.

Can 25M build a contemporary 4 bedroom bungalow in today's economy in Nigeria with standard finishing?

File Photo for illustration

It should do it. Afterall, you are not going to use 16mm rod nor use 9 inches block. But like someone said, be involve in the process.

WhisperedNoise:
Congratulations to them. God is good, all the time. It's interesting to note that the man gave us so much beautiful memories yet was living with his own challenge.

That's life for you. We always feel it's easy for the other person because we see them appearing flashy.

Jones90:
I understand where you are coming from, but you know it takes some months to build a house and during these periods of time, the acclaimed friend of the OP would have been dining and wining with the OP without telling him that he's building a house. He intentionally kept it secret from the OP.

Personally I don't see any sense in it. Telling the OP will not stop him from building his house, why then keep it a secret from him?

He has every right to keep it a secret. I don't know why we like reacting to things unnecessarily. Most likely, the problem wasn't about his friend not disclosing but for him to keep it a secret as well. Information is hard to manage. Most times, you let things out without knowing, only to regret it later.

There's so much insecurity in Nigeria now and you don't know who the guy would go and tell that his friend is building, then before you know what's happening, the friend is kidnapped. We hardly keep information confidential in this country, so allow people that can keep certain things from you for their own safety to do so. Sometimes, you may not let the info out to cause harm to the other but you don't know how that info will travel, then begin to bring back negative effects.

cc: Peter532