₦airaland Forum

Localemperor:
You have N1000 to create the perfect woman

Big Breasts = N500
Faithful= N300
Intelligence = N500
Beauty = N200
Godly= N300
Respectful= N300
Big Ass= N500
Good In Bed= N200
Good Cook = N200
Funny= N300

Let us see what guys will choose. No chance for loan.

Localemperor:
You have N1000 to create the perfect woman

Big Breasts = N500
Faithful= N300
Intelligence = N500
Beauty = N200
Godly= N300
Respectful= N300
Big Ass= N500
Good In Bed= N200
Good Cook = N200
Funny= N300

Let us see what guys will choose. No chance for loan.

oz4real83:
They always use soft and unsuspecting targets to make these evil plans, but Israel is always steps ahead of them. That is why I am 💯 convinced that Israel knew of their oct 7th attack and deliberately allowed them to carry it out because of reasons only known to them

adesegun121:
This guy fit arrange the Economy of Nigeria oo

Any girl wey enter this room sope Otilor 😭

Kwanza:
https://www.vanguardngr.com/2023/12/lucky-aiyedatiwa-appoints-adeniyan-as-cps-others/

DatoDatuk:
Remove only one from this

EvergreenDiarie:
Sometimes people sleep in the bushes for 2,3 days while traveling by train from port Harcourt going to Aba. Many of our women, children, have been kidnapped in several occasions on their way as a result of train damage.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHoSV7aBK0M?si=BaK_zThakRvm-n7E

ahnie:
When was the last time you ate this sweet delicacy?

OLAADEGBU:
https://www.analyzingamerica.org/2023/10/700648/?utm_source=myc

OLAADEGBU:
https://www.analyzingamerica.org/2023/10/700648/?utm_source=myc

Islie:
https://dailytrust.com/army-discovers-bombs-in-ikeja-21-years-after-blast-begins-clearance/

Sayvick:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-msES-ufMig?si=_2bpBifdwzYhrEas

LACKLUSTRE ADESANYA LOSES BELT TO SEAN STRICKLAND



https://www.google.com/amp/s/sports.yahoo.com/amphtml/ufc-293-israel-adesanya-loses-middleweight-title-in-stunning-upset-vs-sean-strickland-043317598.html

Jewessgratitud3:
A colleague of mine called me last week and Said a woman needs a sounds teacher to come and take the child on sounds this summer to enable the child read before school resumes and that she wants someone with British diction.
So, because I'm a diction instructor and have done that kind of job in the past ( like nine years ago) my friend recommended me.

Back then ( 2014) when I was into this home lesson full time, I was charging 25k per child and its three times a week and I pick the places I go to. No long distance thing.
Now with the current situation of the economy and considering my age, I charged this woman 50k three times a week and she said it's too much. Meanwhile, the school the child is attending was where I taught before I left and started doing home lesson and their school fees then ( 2014) was 95k for prep class. By now it should be around 150k. My friend already told me the school the child attends.

She said it's too much that she can only afford 20k. I just ignored them. They will pay 150k for school fees, nothing much to show for it but will want to give you peanut and expect you to perform magic under 1month.

If I handle the child, no doubt, she'll read and her accent will change but definitely not for that amount. I'll now be trekking that long distance cos no bike and somebody is telling me 50k is too much.

Did I do wrong by ignoring them cos they want me to come and start this August but I have zeroed my mind there.

Would you accept such amount for home lesson?

Bvlgari:
❗Remove two things from this tray of food

Desperados:
Imagine your bet ticket of #10million just cut due to only the last game.
Then your girlfriend called you 30mins later to end your relationship of 5 years.

Which incident would you think more & Which of them would be most painful to you?

BROKEN RELATIONSHIP or CUT-ONE BET SLIP....



Oya bettors and lovers, mak una con talk.

Girls, com hear ur guys...

Lucasmuyiwaa:
What happened was that my Dad collected a brand new iPhone I bought from me February last year all because some uncivilized people like him keeps telling him the phone I use is very expensive and said it’s used by yahoo boys and which my Dad hate the word YAHOO.

Though , I felt very sad wondering why he would collect a phone from a 27 years old Son.

I pleaded to him severally to please give me back the phone and I also sent some of his friends which they value each other to him to please help me beg him to return the phone but he keeps telling them he’s not gonna give me and instead get me a small phone that doesn’t browse so as to stop having internet access.

After many Months of using a small Android phone which is very uncomfortable for me and hoping I will gather some money and get a better phone for myself anytime soon.

I waited for some months but couldn’t afford a better phone cuz I don’t want to buy a very low budget phone since I’m addicted to smooth browsing on my IPhone.

Then I tried to find solution for myself by going to find the iPhone he seized in his room even though I don’t enter his room anyhow.

God so good i got into his room when everyone wasn’t aware and I found the phone where he kept it and took it.

I started having conscience on it and asking myself if I’ve messed up.

I came to Nairaland to ask what I should do maybe to return the phone or keep it with me.

I found out some people blamed me for invading his room and getting m my stuff.

Some people told me to return it and never do that again.

when I was going to return the phone I found out that the whole house are back and it’s not possible to go there that time.

I don’t know what to do because it was a luck that nobody was at home that day.

I reasoned to my self maybe I should go and deliver the phone to him myself fearing if he found out the phone is no more there the issue will escalate and will be too late.

The next morning I took the phone to him and told him I find it using a device on the phone with another phone to track it.

He was very annoyed and said what I did was bad with a very cool voice and gave me the phone back himself.

After few hours he called me and said he put some Saudi Money (Riyadh) in the carton he hide my phone and he couldn’t find the money there and asked me if I took it.

I sensed he was trying to tell me that in order to know what I did was bad.

I told him I didn’t take any money there and I honestly didn’t see any money there.

He let me leave and said he will try to find it very well later.

Then just today he called my married elder sister to come to our house and wanted to have a meeting with us cuz we are just two from our late mother.

From his speech he said he can’t be seeing me not working since I’m a graduate and I should find something doing.

He knew I was into exportation of Petrol to Cotonou before the work stopped due to border close down and too much customs officials on the road.

So he started insulting me I’m just being idle and don’t want to work because I’m getting money from yahoo because he returned my phone to me to have internet access.

I accepted all the insults he did to me and didn’t argue with him not until he said if I’m a good boy I won’t go into his room to take my phone and even take his money he kept there the other day.

I then knew he meant that word that I took his money again and which I didn’t even take or see.

Then he began raining insults on me and begin to lay emphasis on the money that I took my phone and his money.

At this point I was very mad and couldn’t hold myself from keeping silence and then I had to break it.

I told him I can take everything he do to me but accusing me wrongfully I will never take that with a mini voice and suddenly wanted to hit me which I run from him to escape.

On running through the steps, he suddenly grab the big stool in the sitting room and dropped it on my head which nearly hit me . (If that stool hit me I don’t know what will happen to me )

But I managed to escape and he started raining curses on me and insulting my late mother for giving him a son like me.

My sister was there too and all she kept saying was I’m very rude to disclaim the accusations and defending myself and she also start insulting me that how dare should I talk when he’s talking.

After few insults he gave me so he came downstairs and started insulting me again while I stand not too far from him.

He quickly picked up a very big stone and a big plank on the floor threw at me which if these two objects meet me I will still be bleeding by now.

He told me with anger that I’m a bastard and cursed me saying it will not better for me and we can never sleep together in the house today and he left and went out.

So my stepmother returned and I narrated everything to her and made her known I’m leaving the house to avoid unnecessary violence again because I’ve been planning to leave the house due to everyday arguments and his nags.

The stepmother told me not to leave the house and rather he will talk to him and calm him down and everything will be fine.

I already made my mind to leave the house and stay at the hotel for some days because my friend which I could go and stay with has traveled last week and said he will be back today.

I got to the hotel and booked the room and having some rests then I saw my stepmother call and she said I should come home and we need to talk.

I sensed maybe she was trying to set me up and I told her I’m at where I’m going to sleep tonight because I just don’t want to come home today.

She said I shouldn’t even think that way and promised me nothing is going to happen.

I believed her because she knows I respected her and I knows she likes me.

Then she told me to come home and sleep and assure me no violence will happen as she just need to talk to me privately which I don’t have idea what else she want to tell me .

Now should I go home or just sleep at the hotel and probably not going to go to that house again soon if I sleep at the hotel today ?

Try to make your story brief next time

Warlord12:
.


https://punchng.com/vice-chancellors-wives-plan-turkey-trip-amid-ASUU-strike/?amp

Kingcalls:
Women always think they are right ... what did u do?? Men don't show emotions when they are abused , they can't cry , so they rather will hit, its in our nature ...so y do women think they can just insult men and get away with it... as long as the world dont preach that women should also respect men and dont insult men, men will continue to hit women... they wise women will dodge confrontation to avoid violence , the foolish ones will think they can insult men and expect no reaction....

Domestic violence against women has increased since feminists started preaching that a woman should not be hit even if she abuses the man to the point where he is pushed to the wall... just look at the last 2 big brothers... look at how those women insulted those guys to the point that one of the guys started crying... women like that will easily get hit by a man cis men respond with violence when angry....its in a man's nature and women should understand it... this is y most men don't wanna even get married again...

Kazeem47:
did you equip the military with the right equipment to gather intelligence and trace the bandits and their sponsors?Is it everything you want the military should do for you while you are sitting in a hole fighting with keyboard?Not everything is supposed to be left for the military to work on.They are already overstressed.There are government agencies that are expert in intelligence gathering;just that they don't want to do their job or they are not allowed to do their job.e.g,DSS,NIA, Ministry of Information and Technology.

BlinksBlinkd:
MY LANDLADY, HER DAUGHTERS AND A TENANT PART 1
.


I live in a compound of 5 tenants minus the
landlord and his family. My landlady is an
Ikwerre woman, a voluptious average bodied
woman with a nice set of racks. She has 1 boy
and 3 girls. All are grown. This woman seem to
be the heart of our problem in the compound.
Her husband is
a cool man who overlooks simple things but
this woman will fight for everything to make
sure everyone understands that it is her
compound. Everything…..water, parking space,
light bill, etc. I never really found myself in such
a situation with her cos I always tried to keep
to
myself. And she’s got pretty daughters that
benefitted generously of her body type but I do
not talk to them other than the regular
greetings. Though I know that they like greeting
me afterall i’m a young guy living in their
compound but I seem not to want to be chatty
with them. I like two of the daughters especially
the eldest who’s a couple of years older than I
am, then the last daughter as well. I know they
like me too cos I’ve seen their glances and the
way they linger around when they greet me or
come to my house for something, hoping we
might strike a conversation.
One day, I parked my car in the landlady’s
parking spot and travelled cos it came up
suddenly. I was away for 5 days before I went
back home. I just got back that afternoon and
met an empty and quiet compound. I put on the
tv, took off my clothes and was about to hit the
shower when a knock on the door redirected
my
route. I opened it and saw the least person I
expected to see…… (you guessed right), my
landlady. She wore a blue blouse and a
wrapper
around her waist. Surprised, greeted her
and she greeted me back and asked simply
“why did you park your car in my space when
you knew you were travelling?” I told her that I
was sorry and that the journey came up
abruptly, and that I was in such a rush to even
think. I could see that she was furious and I
added more soothingly that I’d move it right
away. She seemed satisfied with my apology
and smiled, then asked me how my trip was
and she hope I brought something back. I told
her that the trip was fine and that I did (even
though I didn’t have anyone in mind when I
bought the fruits and other stuff i came back
with). I invited her in and headed straight to the
kitchen while she waited in the sitting room. I
had just come back with some of the items in
my hand when she smiled and said “you boys
and bad bad films. See the kain film you dey
watch”. I turned and stared at the tv, they were
showing an er0tic scene explicitly. I smiled and
apologized, then walked towards the tv to turn
it
off when she said “are you a kid? you can
watch anything you want”. I obliged her and
replied “yes. but I no wan make konji hold me
later”. She laughed and asked me how it could
be when I have a lot of girlfriends. Then went
on “e be like say you sabi, i dey hear them dey
shout sometimes”. I couldn’t believe what is
happening. I
couldn’t believe that I am having this
conversation with this woman. She’s hitting on
me.
As the thoughts crossed my mind, I felt my
junior stir and woke up from his slumber as if
he was commanded “Arise little one”. Mind you
he’s not little in any way. She noticed it and
smiled, then said “I knew from the way you dey
f**k those girls, you carry big pr1ck”. Bearing
the encouragement no more, Junior arose in his
might and in anger so that all who saw him
might tremble in fear. I simply stood there
contemplating on what to do when my landlady
sighed, looked at me and sat down on my
couch. ‘This is it’ I thought to myself. Then
amazing myself, with my d**k pointing forward
like a compass,…….no, more like a general
leading his army to war, my feet moved of it’s
own accord until I am standing in front of my
landlady looking a bit smug and dumb(you can
imagine the combination naa). With her eyes
fixed hungrily on the bulge, she simply put her
hand on my waist and tugged at my towel, it
came off freely and behold how my Joystick
sprang out. If it were the Olympic Joystick long
jump, it would have made an ace.
Anyway, it was there in front of her and she
stared at it in disbelief, but with so much greed
in her eyes that i thought she would chew it off
with one bite. I prayed in my mind at that
moment that she doesn’t know what a hot dog
looks like before she mistook junior as one.
Then she grabbed it in her hands and rubbed it,
then she squeezed it a bit harder and the
Joystick thickened. She kept rubbing it without
putting it in her mouth, then I figured maybe
she’s not a Joystick sucker. I took her hand
away and turned slowly and walked towards
the room, stopping at the door to look back at
her and smile. She got up suddenly and
followed me, when she opened the curtain, i
was nowhere. She was about looking around
when I grabbed her breasts from behind,
squeezed it hard and pushed her on the bed.
As she fell, I reached for her wrapper and pulled
it off. I was dumbfounded. She’s got big round
buttocks. I was in no way patient and i reached
for her, threw open her legs and sent a finger
on a quest to locate the clit. The thumb did
while the others slid into her wharf. How
slimmy and wet she was. I rubbed on her
p*sshy some more and she moaned softly, with
the other free hand I found her breasts and
squeezed hard. It’s swollen already, i caressed
the Tip and it hardened. I took one in my mouth
and stroked the other Tip gently and she jerked
her hips in response. She moaned her pleasure.
By now, she was very wet and my Joystick is
hard and throbbing. I pulled my hand away and
slid in my thick throbbing Joystick. We both felt
the sweet sensation as my Joystick filled her
p*sshy. I looked at her and couldn’t believe
it….Jeez! I’m f**king my landlady. (She looked
pretty getting f**ked. Maybe she is pretty.
Maybe her attitude made me see her as an ugly
wicked woman). I went at it, first taking her
slow. Then slowly increasing y pace, I went
hard, f**king her like a minx, pounding her hard
like fufu. She threw her legs apart and I went
deeper. As I hit her like jackpot, her wetness
made slurping sounds pleasurable to the ears.
Her p*sshy is so sweet and juicy.
I put my lip on the unsucked Bosom and
sucked away….what a merriment. Her blouse
seemed to always come down to interrupt me
so i took a moment to take it off. Now as i
gaze down, i’m being gazed up at by a pair of
beautiful racks. She has such an incredible
body. I thrust harder and faster and she held
me with strong arms….oh! and is she strong? I
was not deterred, I kept on thrusting deeper
and harder while she made her ‘uuugh’s and
aaaargh’s’. She reached her hand down my
back and grabbed my buttocks and squeezed
them. My Joystick hardened and she must
have felt it cos she suddenly widened her eyes
and looked at me while her mouth opened but
no words came out. I increased my pace,
watching her breasts bounce on her chest in
response to my movements, then she wrapped
her legs around my waist. I f**ked her harder
and as i slammed into her, her breasts heaved
east to west, sometimes to north and south.
Then it occurred to me that her pretty buttocks
is not being appreciated.
I pulled off, she tried to pull me back on but i
declined. She moaned her displeasure, I turned
her over. She complied and knelt, i dug in from
behind. Her p*sshy embraced my Joystick in a
welcoming gesture. I immediately started
thrusting hard. she moved her waist back to
meet my thrusts, i felt challenged so i applied
more energy to the waist, bent my knee and
started thrusting deeper and higher.

.
Click on the link below to continue reading

http://coolstories22.com/my-landlady-her-daughters-and-a-tenant-18-part-1/

Venzal:
If there was an award for football's most thick-headed personnel, this guy would have a strong shout

He'd go on social media to insult fans in very raw, undisguised words...

He'd chat sh*t about teammates without a care in the world...

He is even worse than Balotelli because that one has small intelligence. E. Adebayor, on the other hand, is a proper airhead.

Blaqbeckham23:
Thats true sha. My mum loves my bro that's a bad boy more

Kazeem2222:
https://abegabeg.com/israel-adesanya-retains-ufc-middleweight-championship-after-beating-romero/

Casemiro:
So this man has never visited the village for over 11 years only to visit this past December and the unexpected happened!

He was successful and had cars. He started the foundation of a duplex in the village and I guess this is where the envy became unbearable.

I heard they 'knack him jazz', and his left leg has swollen.

There are different hospitals they have taken him to but no remedy.

one doctor advised them to go spiritual about the situation, that he probably stepped on a jazz.

The pitiful thing is that someone claimed this jazz is sold for as little as #20.

Yes, you heard that right, twenty naira!

RealTrump:
Hanty, how can u describe the bird phone as kpalasa 15 years ago? You have a valid story, no need to sensationalize it for more pity.