₦airaland Forum

phrancys001:
So why d wretchedness all over Abia?

Kingsmeal:
Nigerian Government Admits That Igbos Were Asked To Come Down From Buses In Sudan.



https://saharareporters.com/2023/05/03/nigerian-government-admits-igbos-were-asked-come-down-buses-sudan-says-it-wasnt

Kobojunkie:
1. And she sold everything she owned in order to get herself to where she is today so asking her to move back in hopes that the marriage can maybe be worked on would be kind of asking too much, I see.
2. You say He sends just $500 for the upkeep of a child living in Canada, is that per month, or all year? Is the child aware of the problem between them both?

bukatyne:
In Summary:

1. Mr. made Mrs. believe that he was onboard relocation prior to marriage because it seemed a deal breaker for her and Mr. wanted the marriage.

2 . During the process, he changed his tune and said she goes first hence did not contribute to the process

3. He got a job of $3k monthly and decided to join politics since his certs are fake as Nigerian politics would guarantee continued income

4. He wants to visit them once a year rather than work out a plan for them to be together.

5. Madam wants to move on after discovering the certs are fake and she doesn't want a long distance marriage.

Unfortunately, they are both poorly matched from the beginning and this is because the husband married her under false pretext. He knew he couldn't go to Canada with her yet strung her along. The work of building the marriage afresh lies with him:
1. Is he willing to get further education and certification in line with his career?
2. Why is he satisfied with seeing his family once a year? Does he intend to build another family in Nigeria? Or is he trying to shield them from the roforofo of Nigerian politics when he goes mainstream? Is that why he insists she stays in Canada?
3. What has he said about the divorce?
4. What is the wife’s position about his political ambition?

Kobojunkie:
1. OK. And he has no intentions of doing that, even if done remotely? Online Education is the -ish everywhere plus it would greatly liven his resume for future!
2. What about her moving back to Nigeria and part-timing in Canada instead?

Kobojunkie:
1. Does the Mrs. feel she is unable to overcome the broken trust between them? Is that why she is thinking of moving on? :-

Shokoloko:
Please refrain from responding harshly as either spouse may be reading comments.

I typically will counsel couples on my own, however the husband is not comfortable with his wife sharing details with a third party (me) and I will be respecting his wish. Therefore I am going to need as much input and insight as possible to respond to them both only once.

Please note that I am only presenting aspects of the story told by Mrs that was confirmed by MR and vice versa.
Here goes. My couple in counselling met several years ago. Before the relationship began Mrs let Mr know that she had plans to relocate. She had just returned from a vacation in Canada and had decided to relocate. Mr agreed confirmed that he had agreed to the relocation. Mrs has an engineering degree and Mr confirmed prior to marriage that he had two engineering degrees. Both viewed physical copies of their certificates. After courtship, the marriage happened and they welcomed a girl-child. Mrs requested Mr to provide his transcripts in order to apply for the Canadian federal skilled worker program. Mr refused and told Mrs that he was not interested in relocating anymore and she could begin the process as principal applicant. Mrs stared the process and began financing. After a low IELTS from Mr, Mr told Mrs he was not interested in relocating anymore and he promised he would visit. (At that time both were earning roughtly the same amount N350k monthly each) Mrs. concluded the process singlehandedly by selling her property gifted by her father. Mr maintained that every property brought into the marriage was his, so allowing Mrs. to sell the property was his contribution. I do not know the couple's agreement about landed property so I did not pursue that comment further. A month after Mrs. and child relocated expecting Mr. to follow shortly Mr. had a breakthrough and began to earn approximately $3000 per month, and decided to find his way into local politics. Mrs. then suggested to MR to look into taking a few courses at a Canadian college or university in order for him to get a Canadian education. Her reasoning was that she knew that it would be difficult for him to let go of a job earning $3000 monthly so she wanted him to upgrade his skills via education, then she would sponsor him as spouse. The plan was to search for jobs while employed in Nigeria and then join her after they had secured a job paying equivalent of his current salary or higher. Mr agreed. However when Mrs continued to press for his transcript to be sent to WES Mr explained that the degree certificates he had shown here were not genuine. Mrs wondered how he could have gotten two juicy jobs without a certificate and Mr. explained that the sector he was employed in did not necessarily check references if candidate had high- ranking references - and Mr. seems to know people highly placed in society. Bottom line is Mr. has announced that he is going to move into politics and will be visiting Mrs. and child once a year. The couple spoke with me via teams and have not physically met in 36 months. After speaking with both I understand that Mr. wants Mrs. to remain in Canada as his wife who he will visit once a year. Mrs. says he cannot have a long distance relationship on a permanent basis and would like to have a divorce and move on. Mrs. is willing to send back the child to Mr. sisters once she is 12 if Mr. demands that. Mrs. has a stable job earning about $60k per annum. Mrs. currently received $500 from Mr for the kid. Mrs. does not make any other type of financial demand from Mr.
I am hoping bukatyne, sisioge, kobojunkie will chime in. I may not be able to answer all the questions that may be posed as this is just a third party report
Many thanks guys

ayandee:
You are right. While it is important to be stable before marriage, financial stability is not a determinant. My husband and I got married when we didn't even know what exactly we wanted to do. We just enjoyed each other's company and wanted to be together. In our first 2 weeks after marriage, we both slept on a blanket, no mattress because we had spent all our savings on getting a room and parlor. Then, Lagos landlords were asking for 2 years upfront rent plus agreement and commission. We struggled to pay it. Family helped with the wedding (you know yoruba families and weddings). He was working a 28k job, then had a 60k job then lost that job and had no job. But one thing we did was to continue to develop our selves. He had HND then started BSC about the time we got married and at some point we had to make a decision between renewing our rent with the severance cheque from his last job and paying his university tuition fees. Our child was one year at that time. Guess what? We paid his school fees with that money. God saw our heart and gave me a federal job without any connection and we paid the rent.

He got an IT job and started earning way more than me. Long story short, we are in Canada and sometimes we used to laugh over those times.

* Warning: You can only do this with someone with whom you share the same values. I repeat values are important.

etrouble:
Yes, you are right. You can not pick arms against the Federal Republic and still expect to be part of the Republic

Penguin2:
There are currently 4 Airports in the Southeast but only one it was built by the Federal Government.

The 4th busiest Airport in Nigeria, Sam Mbakwe Airport, was built through crowd funding by Igbo people.

Anambra International and Cargo Airport was built by Anambra State Government.

Ebonyi International Airport was built by Ebonyi State government.

What has the Federal Government really done for the Southeast?

Mynd44
Nlfpmod

greatopec:
Good day Nairalanders
I will be 40 on Oct 19 this year and I am scared the kind of life I have always desired may not be
achievable. Let me list these things that worries me so that you can probably advise me or assist me in achieving any of them.
1) By 40 I had wished I will be living in my house with cars in my garage
Current situation- I am a salary earner who eagerly waits for the salary to drop before my family can eat conveniently every month.
2)I love cars and driving. Was thinking of getting a good car for Uber business.
Current situation- I have not been able to gather enough money to buy a car for Uber or personal use.
3)Seeking greener pasture abroad.
Current situation- I have not been able to have enough disposable income to even get a passport to start with in the first place.
4)Self development. I had interest in programming so I decided to learn coding and all that. I started with free code camp and also this thread by iyenimofe on nairaland has been so helpful https://www.nairaland.com/1383359/learn-web-design-live-nairaland/6#17571611
The issue I have progressing is that of enough data subscription to watch more tutorials.
5)Acquisition of at least Masters.
I have a passion for learning and self development but I struggled to have my HND with distinction. Gathering enough funds to start my masters program has been an uphill task.

Little about my background
I am an HND graduate
I have a sister who am responsible for also.
I have a wife and two kids.
I work 8-5weekdays

Utty44:
Hmmm... God will give u directive sir. I'm pained tonight because someone here on Nairaland refused to help me when I told him dat my two year old daughter is sick and needs 2thousands to buy drugs for her which I don't have presently. He said he won't help me simply because I am OBIDIENT( seen on my profile)

Utty44:
Better stay back and get urself some business here with that paltry sum.

Someone here refused to help me when I told him that my two year old daughter is sick and needs two thousands for drugs. He said he won't help me because I am OBIDIENT

eddie7:
HOW I FOUND MY DEATH CERTIFICATE WITH MY WIFE WHILE I AM STILL ALIVE



# C O P I E D

dboY1123:
I lost my brother early last month and I have been unsettled and paranoid. He visited us a day before and he was healthy and hearty only for us to hear of his death the next day which was on Sunday.
He was admitted in the Hospital, on the bases that he was short of blood. He took 4/5 pants of blood and stayed 1/2 weeks before he was discharged and that only made him live for a month or so.
I want to know more about his death, exactly what happened. His wife is someone who didn't relate well with us(in laws) and she distanced my brother from us, while he objectively did as well. This wife didn't visit my mum throughout her stay in the hospital for more than 3 months before my mum passed on a year ago. When I visited the hospital where my brother was rushed to being the same place he was admitted, they told me that he must have been bothered about somethings, and that the drugs he was given parts were hypertensive, that he stopped taking the drugs and all those excuses.
I was informed by the nurses that my brother has been suffering from insomnia, he hardly sleeps in nights and if he does, it's just few hours. All these things, the wife didn't tell us anything.
Now, I want to take the fight to her. I need her to tell me exactly what transpired, how did it happen! She's been in 40days mandatory sit-at-home stuff and I can't wait to sit her ass down and interrogate her.
Should I get her arrested for questioning by the police?
Modified

DodadaKoKigbe:


Meanwhile this oyinbo yahoo boy has been cashing out from Ibos/ipobs/obidients in the name of fighting to reclaim obi's manhood.

Rooneyboy:
Now, I've been confused for a while on this travelling abroad issue. The thing is, I've been working for over 10 year's in a fed govt parastatal, the pay ain't bad at all.
Got married 2 years ago and we've got an extremely beautiful daughter. Now, the ish is my wife has been totally idle. The Real me wants to send my wife abroad (Canada) for studies because she read microbiology in her first degree and I feel she's got the passion for the course. Also she is still relatively young (28 years) while I'm 37.
I'm not doing badly in my current place of work at all. My honest take on this is letting her go first while I stay back and make more money to fund her studies then maybe when she gets settled I and our daughter might join her.

My pop man had encouraged me to travel out, promised to give me the Proof of fund of 25 million whenever I need it.

MY FEARS:What if she changes mid way? I do not have a problem of me going to further mine, but I'm just being realistic in that she's way younger(9 years younger) and her course is one of the most sort after courses they've got abroad currently. I want the best for her but what if she changes midway.

I stumbled on this today on twitter and my fears increased.

Optimist2023:
Hello guys. Please I need your help. I have been in a off and on relationship with my partner for about two years. I figured things weren’t working out, so I decided to call it quit officially. It’s been two months now, but I can’t seem to let go. It literally hurts missing them even though I know the relationship was not good for me. I have read so many articles on how to let go and they all say time heals. Why am I yet to heal even after two months? If anything if feels like a struggle right now compared to the beginning. Any suggestions?

Tobagostar:
i am a lady from Trinidad and Tobago, i am 52 years old. I want to visit to the motherland for the first time ever since i was born. My preferences are in Nigeria and Ghana. I hope in this forum there are some people from Ghana and Nigeria. Can you please tell me the places to visit in Nigeria and Ghana ? Dont forget me to inform me about the dos and donts. With much thanks in advance.

Sponty600:
Okay so around last year, exactly this time of the year. I don't know how possible but I observed that flies are following or are attracted to me.

At first it was very minor, I only see them in one or two places.

Fast forward into the last year, it started increasing. I see flies everywhere even in very clean places like churches or banks.
I doubt if its a hygiene problem, because I wear clean clothes and maintain personal hygiene. And plus they're dirty people in the society and none of them have never experienced this.

I have experienced this for a year now,despite trying to find a cure to it,it leaves me deeply confused anytime I think of it.

If anyone has experienced similar problem or has any suggestion, please let me hear.

Jakumo:
When he wakes up in Cali he would do well to change his Nairaland profile to remove his picture and real name. This very public complaint he made here could backfire in divorce court, and I made this recommendation to be discreet right at the onset. For a PHD holder, the man was utterly reckless in making this complaint so public and traceable directly to him.

I would not agree with you more about this man's perplexing failure to be discreet. It would never cross my mind to affix my true name to anything I write online, and that is the reason I studiously avoid social media such as Farcebook, Twatter, and Instacrap.