₦airaland Forum

Esthered:
If it irritates you that bad, you know what to do than telling me dear.

well am very happy I told you ,, if u like suffering others don’t ,, so thinking u need women to emulate u because u feed ur man is a shit ideology.

Patotelli:
It happened just last week as the government out hold on all tertiary Institutions. I traveled for some business hustle. At around 4pm on the Sunday I called my babe and we chatted for some time then someone coughed in the background which I asked who was that she replied a friend, I said ok..

Getting back to school o as to pack up things and finally go home. She came to my place and while trying to make love with her she said oh babe am not comfortable now. Like my conscious is priming me. I stopped and tried to let her talk about it but she waved it off and said she just wanted to see my reaction. Well as man be we continued after we were through she was like 'boo what if I tell you I someone has sex with me what would you do'.i just did as if I didn't hear what she said, I first left her and went to the sitting room to take water from the fridge and during to calm my nerves and be alright. When I came back to the room I asked her what she said the other time she just said oh nothing she's just afraid to say what she wanted to say,right then I know something's up. I entered motivation mood and started hyping her how good she has been to me, how she have changed me to a better person and how positive this relationship has been, how we have been best couples on campus and people envy our Union. Truth be told we love each other I even opened a business for her. She sells ladies footwear's and bags all imported from outside country.. before I know it she started crying that babe pls I'm sorry there's something that happened to me on Sunday and it would end our relationship, I was like nothing you want to say that is new in this world and that has not happened before, that no one is perfect. Well she said her ex chatted her up and was like pls he's down and needed some help that she should come help her out at home. On getting there the guy is was watching movie in his room. Well she's there already and sit down. All the guy was saying wa how he missed her and regretted cheating in her and all that before she could know it the guy pinned her down through struggle and all that the guy had his way with her..
I was so devastated don't know what to do at first because all I was thinking is that after all we've been through and done together our relationship will be a year by may, you still went to be laid by your Ex, asked how many times has it happened in our relationship she said 3 times, the first two when we just started that she still feels for the guy then.but now she don't feel for him again and that will be the only time she visited him since she got serious with me. but as someone who is matured and experienced I just kept my calm because she started crying and throughout the night she cried her eyes out.. I just remained mute till morning. The next day I told her we need a break but it got worse she fell and hit her head on some table.. I had to take her and apply some medication on her..

Why I came in here is for you fellow nairaLanders to advice me on what to do.
1st I love her
2nd she's known to my mom and brother
3rd I've draft out how my life is going to be spent with her forever.
4th can I continue dating her and tell her to cut ties with the guy.

Pls help me, what do I do and not do. What do I tell her and not tell her..

Thanks plss

lol just read it , tell her to cut ties with him , forgive her !! If she keeps contact dump her

Esthered:
I didn't write to motivate you Madam. You have the right to react to it and no need to tell me dear. Have a great day and stay safe.

yeah u need to understand that this I feed my man motivational rubbish, is irritating to some .

Wash ur hands regularly dear

It’s fashion

BigJoe19:
What did he state that was wrong, if i were to be the marriage type, my wife would contribute to the financial upkeep of the family even if I am a billionaire in dollars.

yeah that’s why u r single guy .

Ladies , when u meet a guy get to know him b4 falling in love with him , know what he does n where he stays , don’t fall in love with any man out of the blues , if he’s a graduate with a good course , watch him for some months , the fact u r irritated now shows the relationship may not work , if he makes u happy n u want to stay u hv to understand these facts

1, he may never get rich , nothing like God forbid here o, it’s the truth
2, even if he becomes rich , he might still dump you
3, u will give him money n feed him more frequently than u think especially when u r invested

If u are ready to take the risk, I wish u luck dear, I wish u happiness in it all

Esthered:
Dearest OP, your concerns are valid as a woman that has a standard and know what she wants. I courted my husband for a year and have been married for about 4 months, I never visited him till this Friday as we live apart due to work. When I got to his place, it can't be compared to his parents place I stay in Lagos but I told myself that that's my matrimonial home and not where I live. We discussed plans to grow especially the cost-benefit analysis of getting a better apartment when we have no children yet. But when love supersedes everything, you'll be optimistic about your growth together as it's a step at a time.
Does he have a vision, dreams and you see his effort he takes in making them a reality? Never underestimate a man with dreams that gives you peace of mind and makes you a priority, with your emotional, moral and financial support he'll go places.
The choice is yours to make dear. Happy Sunday and endeavour to stay safe.

lol I don’t envy you at all, I don’t even see it as motivational in anyway

Ybaby:
Imagine your kids playing in the corridor + You donot know his true character until he has money which he may never even have. Abort mission now.

Facts

LadyBeee:
Since I started dating, I've never met a man like this. So caring, cute, neat, hygienic, generous but unfortunately, he doesn't have much but the little he has, he'll spend on you and make you feel like a queen.

He stays in one room face me I face u. Initially, when I found out, I said I was going to quit but the love he showed me was so overwhelming and I couldn't quit. He said he's making plans to move out and he won't be renewing his rent in may. I agreed.

I fell in love with him too and became comfortable with his room but I made it clear that I will never pass the night at his place. You know how love can be blind, I found myself pass the night once and again and again then I asked him about his plans to move out, how much does he have at hand to rent a new place because I was secretly planning to support him with some money to add and he said he doesn't have up to 30k. I was angry and so dissapointed at him.

Right now I'm thinking the whole thing over. I don't think I can continue. Please advise me


Photo for illustration

I agree with you , soon u would start feeding him ,, n let’s say he even becomes rich in future , that’s no assurance he won’t still dump you .

kepstone:
This person is a toxic human being and does not understand what marriage is and has no capacity to love and support her husband. I pity the guy Sha, may God take far away from me a stupid mind set like this in Jesus name. What. My mum supported my Father to the last and never even voiced it out, yet she Accord him his respect as the provided, when he was down she never used subliminal statements to attack his ego, yet prayed for him and worked out a plan to come out of the situation and we all had the best education and he also left properties worth millions for his children. I respect my mum and I pray for a wife like her not this rogue mentally drained ladies we have today who don't know what marriage is all about except comfort and comfort, no wonder many of them marry wrong, marry late and end up in the wrong hands. You better submit your mind to Christ. The poor guy you see today working hard lagally God will crown his efforts with success. May my part not come across someone like you in Jesus name

sorry but I don’t want to be like your mother, I don’t pray to be like ur mother !! Yes life happens, but antipating for that , is a big NO

Modified: trust me the embolded will never happen. No need to pray

Justbehave:
This was not what your comment I quoted implies. You are trying to correct your initial statement after you found out it was very disappointing and a spanner in the ideology you were defending.

yeah I said if u as a Man , already looking at ur wife’s money to run ur home , u are less of a man !! Yes that’s what I said.

Justbehave:
So men and women are no longer equal? When it come to responsibilities,men are to bear it but when it comes to pleasure,both are equal. Hahahahahaha. You ladies should keep deceiving yourselves.NDI FEMINISTS

if bills must be shared,, house chores will be shared also ,, cooking will be shared also ,, not that I do my part n u tell me to share urs , there is already equality in marriage to me ,, but if u r so adamant of share responsibility lets share it equally. But how many men realistically can cope with it ? Who be mumu ? Definitely not me , do ur part n I do mine

Lostz:
I am not your boyfriend

yes thank God for that

Lostz:
I need you to tell whether I am a man or lesser man?


there are many ladies who will support instead of sitting and watching him work to death.

better to remain single than end up with a leech

am so irritated by this comment!! Ur wife is not obligated to do nothing financially for the home ,, it’s has to be voluntary,, n don’t feel entitled to it,, u are the provider !! U hv only one job , n that’s to provide ,, n u want her to share it with you ? For what exactly?

Clean that ideology from ur head please .

Lostz:
I need you to tell whether I am a man or lesser man.

there are many ladies who will support instead of sitting and watching him work to death.

better to remain single than end up with a leech

shame on you tueh !!!

Lostz:
the world is no longer how it use to be... when a man's money was enough.

if you don't want to suffer in marriage work hard. or you think rich guys are after lazy girls who only put unnecessary pressure on guys?

a man's money alone can no longer care for every bill.... especially a struggling young man.

we can't work to death just to take care of a woman.
the foolish man should break up with her. she may end up running away after leading him to debts and
eternal poverty

like seriously, if u think u are unable to take care of necessary bills of ur family,, n hv the ideology u will also depend on ur wife’s money to run ur home adequately!! Then u are less of a man !!

If u are not ready for responsibilities please stay single . Imagine the woman that will date this one ?

Everybody n their choice partiner n criteria!! Stop shaming people for stating what they want . She can consider if she really likes the guy but if she’s not happy she should leave n wait for a better guy .

Such selfishness In this pandemic,, these pastors r very heartless !!

24kmagic:
Yen yen yen yen.
You talk too much.
Even after telling you not to bother replying me.
I pity your children

u can never tell me what to do or not do !! U are not that powerful!! Pity urself for not minding ur damn business,, mr pity !! Keep pitying rubbish pity !! Get lost

Kennedyiheme02:
not its not free... something has to make you happy.. its basic knowledge.. a child in creche knows this... i wonder why ita difficult for you to understand... still that pride playing out...

Nature has programmed women to desire marriage... its the ultimate thing that brings happiness to women... all other things aren't paramount... like cars, houses, money...

Linda ikeji also claimed happiness was free.. she preached you can do without a man, self love, I'm rich i dont need a man.... listen she's 40 now, the other day we saw her catching bouquet at her kid sister's wedding...

okay

Kennedyiheme02:
nobody ever chooses to be depressed... depression comes as a result of a thought or problem in someones live.. it's not a switch..... you people always say happiness is free... it actually isnt... to be happy something actually has to make you happy... your job, family, a promotion... you just cant be happy when nothing you expect has happened.... we're humans, happyness actually has to be earned...

Your freind here isn't happy because she hasnt found that man.... you just cant tell her to be happy... she can't be... even if she tries she can't... unless she finds that man

nice u didn’t mention a man as the only thing that can make a lady happy,, she can focus on those other things u mentioned. That’s the point ,, happiness is free for me tho .

24kmagic:
I tried so hard from page one not to quote you but you kept talking nonsense. She's not happy she doesn't have a man in her life, why can't you tell her how to get one if you can? You don't need a man, fine, but she does!

Personally, I also need a girl in my life and I'm not happy I don't have one. And I will keep on talking to any girl I see and feel is good enough for me till I get one.

I very much understand everything this lady is passing through. If you can't help her, just stfu. One last thing..... You talk too much, not good for a potential mum.

Don't quote me

for the fact u modified ur comment n added don’t quote me , I think I will !!! U hv ur own method n opinion about her post n I hv mine ,, it’s here for people to voice their views and I did , I didn’t insult anyone or forced anyone to agree with me !! NO ONE NEED ANOTHER HUMAN BEING TO BE HAPPY, the fact she’s not in a relationship doesn’t mean she should be depressed when she can look at the brighter side,, I am not you ,, I don’t solve problems by creating more problems. It’s simple as ABC , u can only create happiness by ur own self , I hv been single n got single friends, n I don’t make them feel low n down cause they got no one , I don’t make them feel less lovable or hv issues because they single. U are a guy I understand your points as a guy, it’s my opinion n she’s a grown ass woman so can choose who to agree n not agree with .. what’s the unnecessary tagging for !! Why do u need women to say they need you people,, what does it do for you ? PLEASE LEAVE MY COMMENT AS IT IS ,, THATS HOW I SEE THINGS ITS NOT COMPUSORY TO AGREE TO IT.

smat101:
Actually you all need Men

NOPE WE DONT. It’s a need when we can’t live without men but we can n do fine

lotman4real:
U sound like a lesbian �, are you one ?

na u know

Kennedyiheme02:
you're in your 20s yeah?

yup

Sexytincoll:
Ignore their lots as it provokes lots of them to see a woman says she can be happy without a man.When a woman thinks she can never be happy without a man,you become a victim for the Bleep boys

Facts

Kennedyiheme02:
this is the problem you women have.. you always like to play the victim... we're trying to advice her.. why are you making it seem we're trying to make her feel bad.... i feel like you're a toxic person... check around maybe thats why you don't have many freinds or even a relationship

I ain’t playing victim ,, I made my comment without tagging anyone stating my opinion,, n people start tagging me n telling me rubbish .

Eberechi24:
No girl, no one is self sufficient. You aren't an island. We are very much dependent on people around us for survival and living.

If you are self sufficient, why do you to buy stuff from market women, why not grow them instead?
If you are sufficient, why do you employ the services of designers and stylists, why not make them yourself? Even with money, we need each other.

In as much as we encourage self love, we shouldnt destroy the possibility of being loved by another. She want a man and she will get that man no matter what it takes. All she wants is the right man. It's no fun dying in isolation alone.

But actually if you say you are cool being alone, then it's your life. my disbelief doesn't matter.

we need each other to survive !! I totally agree but when it comes to hving a man in ur life (relationships)!! I stand firm on my opinion, that A WOMAN DOES NOT NEED A MAN TO BE HAPPY !!

Paxie55:
Lool. Please, stopeet!! We know how your type behave, form voltron online, goes offline depressed. I'm only saying you should stop all these we don't need any man or woman, just cos yours haven't come.

When yours come, will you still say all these?

Quit deceiving yourself.

so u think I hv no man around me ? Lol !! Get off my case !! I said what I said !! Choke on it !!

Paxie55:
Your life means nothing to me though.
Just stop saying What you don't do, it's hypocrisy.

ur opinion don’t matter! She doesn’t need a man to be happy .. cause I don’t need anyone to be happy, I am self sufficient!! People in my life r just a plus !! That how I want every woman to be out there !!! N would keep encouraging self love !!! Well I don’t blame u ,, u are a selfish person

Paxie55:
Well, I responded based on your rants here. And for the record, I don't come online encouraging or discouraging relationships et al.
I believe in what's gonna be, gonna be. Unlike you that will tell op A and go behind to do B.
I never said Op should be desperate, she should be occupied with lots of things going on in her life and when the right man comes, she will know.

u don’t discourage n encourage,, that’s ur life, u would hv just done ur thing n not mentioned me . Am not living my life to please u , do ur thing while I do mine

Paxie55:
The reason you are saying this is cos you are single. Most of my then single friends used to be like you or even worse untill they get hinged.

They don't let me rest on whatsapp status this days with their lovey dovey stories.
We need companionship, it's necessary. I've never seen a happy single woman. All seems bitter to me.
Just pray and work on yourself babe, and pray the right man locates you.

can u all just stop these nonsense Jabs , u hv not seen cause hving someone like u as a friend will even make them way more depressed . There r happy single women out there. Hw r u affirmative I am single , I am a open minded person who wants people happy than desperate. So because u hv someone telling people they desperately eneed someone is a way of helping them , when it’s a situation they can not control?