₦airaland Forum

Ebonyvibe is CORRECT - I completely agree with her post.

Get INVOLVED IN YOU. Why are you even "looking for a man"? On to the next? Sounds like there has been too many "Next." If you own all that you say you own - why are you dealing with a man who lives with his mama, doesn't own a car, doesn't work a job?

What is going on here?

No put downs - I am just really confused. You sound like a wonderful person. I would focus on the kids until they were ALL OUT OF THE HOUSE. I would also focus on myself, my spiritual growth and direction ESPECIALLY for it would point out those that aren't worth my time and my attention BEFORE I found myself on my back, legs spread eagle, looking up into the face of someone who isn't worthy of me and is in line to being my next-EX.

You are not equally yoked.

Many times material possessions - I hear people say that "just because he doesn't have this or she doesn't have that" they are still a potential mate.

Gaining material possessions is a sure sign (90% of the time) that you are seeing someone who "has lived a little." They are seasoned and have worked and put in the time, growth, effort and know what life means.

If you are living at home with your mom and dad and have different kids by different women and you are in your 30s and 40s and your parents are in good health - what can you do with an "independent, self-sufficient, driven, motivated" mate?

God has someone for you - stop selecting on your own - ASK God for direction he will answer you; do for God and God does for you.

My body is precious, beautiful as is my mind. I refuse to share my temple with a near-do-well. Some people are meant to be in your life for a reason or for a season or NOT AT ALL.

Don't throw your pearls to swine for they will turn and gore you. They won't be able to appreciate you, your values or what you have to offer to them, to yourself and to others.

Use the wisdom God has given you - God gave you eyes to see. This Guy is walking - you are driving you own how many vehicles and homes? You didn't see this person is not for you?

I have yet to see a person who has been gifted with something that they didn't earn and still really appreciate it. They generally take it for granted and/or misuse it.

,

,

,

,

,

,

,

I am from the U.S. - Nigeria operates differently so I would very much like to reply but when I reply I am also aware that my response and way of thinking could be unacceptable because it might not be feasible/possible in a Nigerian environment as men and women seem to think somewhat differently. But I would still like to give my 2 cents for whatever it is worth.

My parents are from the old school - they were both Teachers at a University - we are African American. My dad would pick up both his and my mom's checks at the University and controlled the money. My mom saw them as a "team - playing on the same side." That is my terminology as I listened to her telling me this story years later.

Today, 2010 - FOR ME IN PARTICULAR - it isn't about "WHO DEPOSITS INTO WHOSE ACCOUNT." It's about Team work - 2 of you working towards the same goal. I could give a rat's a.zz who controls the $$, who is the head of the house, etc. To hold down confusion, if my man wants to control the ship I AM ALL FOR IT. As long as his leadership is FAIR, JUST, SUCCESSFUL AND MY INPUT IS FACTORED IN TO how the ship is maintained because my blood, sweat, effort, heart - MY EVERYTHING is given to the household that he Captains. Obviously only one can captain a ship as ONE DIRECTION needs to be established.

It sounds like in the Nigerian culture - the male is to be head of the house. If I were your friend I would know this FIRST - It isn't about WHAT YOU SAY - IT IS ABOUT HOW YOU SAY IT. As long as you are dealing with someone who is logical and sane - All can be worked out as long as the messenger frames the message properly.

She should consider presenting the following point of view:

REGARDLESS to how long we have been married - I would sit down with my husband/mate and discuss BEING A TEAM and if we have been a team for 2 years or 10 years, etc, If it has been a dictatorship - I would sit down and ask that we discuss Teamwork - because CURRENT TIMES CALL for "thinking outside of the box" - because the team needs to get the ball to the other side SUCCESSFULLY - score points - in this case, that ball is our "JOINT FINANCES" OUR MONEY which is currently being placed in the account of the "captain."

If he is mismanaging funds, misspending, intentionally or unintentionally - I would approach him from a Team point of view as most men seem to understand sports quite well. I would touch his thought from that point of view. I would share with him that TOGETHER we make it happen and that if something were to happen to ME OR TO HIM in the course of things that the account of the "captain" would suffer and that it is wise to start watching and working towards saving as much as possible while we are both HEALTHY and doing WELL.

I would explain the female body to his understanding and that STRESS KILLS. I would tell him that I am very stressed out and worried that we are not taking FULL ADVANTAGE OF the gifts that God has bestowed on US through our finances. I would continually stress my love to him and my faith in his abilities - I would stroke his ego as I stroke him physically in other areas.

I wouldn't attack him verbally with accusations or anger - I would present my feelings on the matter - ensure him that I trust him as much as I did when we married and I would ask him to allow us as a COUPLE to view finances from a 'purely accounting point of view and ignore the male/female contributions of who-put-what-where-and-how-much-each-contributed [NEVER MENTION THAT YOU MAKE MORE MONEY AND THIS GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO SPEAK - just keep the conversation pointed at the "area of US - you better believe that he knows you make more money so don't mention what he and you already know]."

Also, I would ask him to please give me his ear and temporarily close his eyes to the fact that I am a woman having this conversation with him right now - that I am SICK right now with worry and that I NEED HIM to make me WELL by allowing us to have a conversation about our account(s). That with both of us working - we are now doing better financially regardless to who brought in the money and that we should enjoy this increase please let us increase our budget - we are no longer paupers, the reason we work is to have money to spend and money to save and that no one but us know who makes what amount as that is completely IRRELEVANT. Next year you very well might make more money than me - OUR LOVE isn't dependent on how much you or I make - because we love and respect each other regardless and at anytime any one of us could lose our jobs so it really isn't relevant who makes what amount - tell him that you are just grateful that you have him as a provider and that you love how well you both work together to make life happen. Tell him that you fear that if you or I die tomorrow our account would diminish by that much.

We should both be concerned with eating well, spending right, saving right. Paupers DON'T EAT RIGHT and DON'T LOOK WELL.

I would make him aware that Women don't deal with stress as well as men and that the current state of our financial life has stressed me and makes me frequently ill - I would remind him of the love that we both have and that you love him too much to continue to hold these thoughts by yourself and that you need him, your husband to tell you what to do as this is bothering you and will continue to bother you until he helps you deal with this - there are only 2 people on your team - that is you and him. He is the captain and you need your captain to direct and guide you as you don't want to entertain thoughts of "jumping ship through death because the stress of the current financial situation is harmful to your health." You believe that your love for him and his love for you will sustain the 2 of you and be the driving force that will bring balance and order in this area. You give all to the household and so does he and you need that ALL to continue to exist during these types of conversations and reviews of the household finances that you both earn and deposit.

See what he says and how he reacts.

If he isn't willing to consider her input - I am not sure what to say. I'm American - here everything seems to costs MUCH MORE than in Nigeria. So if we fail over here it's REALLY bad - Also Nigerian weather is tropical - In America - Only certain areas of the country experience warmer weather and generally those areas of the country - many jobs, especially those aimed at the average populace - pay lower and the real estate is OVERLY EXPENSIVE because everyone wants to live in those areas because of the weather - SNOW hits a very large portion of the country in the US - it gets so cold you lose limbs and lives without proper heat, clothing, housing and if you have no money to survive these brutal winters and overly expensive housing and financial emergencies, etcccc - it can get dismal.

Because food is in abundance, we have weight problems here and the weather makes you eat more and bundle up to stay warm 9 months out of the year so to look nice we have to exercise frequently - so basically a woman in the US works 80 hours a week and is spread really thin, physically and emotionally - we are working jobs 40-60 hours a week, raising children and doing our own laundry, cleaning our own homes and playing sex kitten in the bedroom and working out to look great. We are exhausted and out of survival we "Need a Voice" in our finances or we are willing to kill any and everyone who stands in our way because the majority of us, whether we are aware or not or want to admit it or not are "mentally on edge," as we exist in a FAST PACED RAT RACE and we are STRESSED OUT - whether we want to be or not. That is a large percentage of American woman. OVER HERE it is rare that you will find a woman staying home and a man working - IT IS SO EXPENSIVE TO LIVE HERE THAT both of you HAVE TO WORK if you want to have nice things and a good quality of life. A woman has to be able to negotiate like a man for her man, herself and their home and her man does the same.

This is so natural that it is like the air we breathe to be able to have a say in all monies going into 1, 2, 3, 4, etc, accounts. If you live like a pauper here, many times you die early, you risk not being healthy, many times you are ostracized by different communities - because those that live like paupers stand out to others - it's hard to hide "lack" in the U.S. Because "lack" stands out. POVERTY is obvious - those on really, overly tight incomes stand out everywhere they go - many have inadequate homes, cars that need serious repair but are running on the road smoking badly, people walking by in ill fitting clothes, not eating well - missing nutrients in the body expressed in dull hair, yellowed skin and whites of the eyes - looking yellow and red from alcohol and drug usage.

So, for survival purposes, I just cannot allow too much of my household funds to be mismanaged or I have to "JUMP SHIP." If the captain is sinking the vessel and unwilling to listen = I have to go and take as many survivors (kids) if we have children with me as possible. If you die tomorrow and your mate/husband has been mismanaging for quite a while - your kids have nothing. I am not willing to take that chance. Also, marriage should change with the times - just like anything else. What was great 10 years ago, isn't necessarily great today - I don't waste time arguing OVER THE OBVIOUS; I will make several attempts to present my position, if it continues to fall on deaf, unwilling to bend - masculine ears that don't want to listen because I am a woman; then I need to allow that male to talk to himself - this is ABOUT "US" not him or her - WE RULE THIS SHIP. My philosophy is "get with the program" or "get out of the way so someone else can get with the program." Finances are BASIC and MUST BE MANAGED RIGHT.

If you aren't willing to listen to me because you are a man and I am a woman and I could very well have some FANTASTIC, SOUND AND PROFITABLE IDEAS - It is a FOOL that will willingly tie themselves to the Titanic.

Heck who am I to begrudge him? I don't want to get in his way from finding that woman that will live like a pauper, give all of her money to an account that she cannot touch. Watch all of her money disappear, some of which is mismanaged, and still sleep with his majesty every night and smile and take it UP THE A.ZZ - like a champ because society said so?Huh? Your parents said so?Huh

Just because I am not the kind of woman who can live like he wants me to live - it isn't his fault - I want to get out of his way so he can find his "optimum, perfect mate," - It is important for me to recognize right away that I'm not that type of woman and I don't want to stand in his way from finding her. I want my man happy, so I'm going to take my money and "get out of his way." One monkey don't stop no show.

I have ONE LIFE TO LIVE AND I HAVE ONLY MYSELF TO BLAME IF I DON'T LIVE IT.

I am very sorry to hear this,

His behavior PUBLICLY is UNACCEPTABLE.

I don't know what to say here.  Because to yell at me or become negative towards me PUBLICLY is LIKE KILLING ME and the relationship ENDS.

Here's why:

If you treat him the way he treats you - in the eyes of men - we all live in a male dominated society:  You would be wrong.  A large percentage of men would still see you as wrong even though the man might have treated you badly, if you respond in like kind, you would be the one seen to be in the wrong in male-dominated societies.  Yes, they would see him as wrong but would see you as being a loud, ignorant, uncouth, undisciplined woman.  Sadly, that is the case.

Also, if you snap out on him publicly because he has mistreated you and you retaliate in kind - If he tends to be violent, which you might not know yet, but it sounds like he will and can go there as well because of his behavior publicly towards you "a woman" - he might even hit you for "disrespecting him."  This is what bothers me.  If you treat him the same way - YOU as a woman will be considered to be in the wrong.  Because you have disrespected "your man."  So if you want the relationship, you can't treat him the same way - even though it would be teaching him a lesson and giving him a taste of his own medicine.  But it would be destructive to him in the order of things, male and female and destructive to your relationship as it would decline even more so and RIGHT AWAY.

He knows what he is doing because he apologizes.

I guess, if you want him and want to hold onto the relationship with him because he is GOOD IN OTHER AREAS.  This is what I would do:

I would END ALL CONTACT after the next outburst.  I wouldn't treat him in the same manner publicly.  I would take the shame while he was in my presence.  As soon as he dropped me off (if we don't live together) and if we do live together (as soon as he left for work, etc,  I would be packed and GONE)  I would END ALL CONTACT VIA PHONE and I WOULD BE HONEST WITH HIM IN EITHER A VOICE-MAIL, TEXT AND/OR EMAIL - I would NOT TELL HIM FACE TO FACE OR VIA PHONE - because phone means questions can be answered - there are no questions anymore, his outbursts deletes a question and answer session.  Because there have been too many and it has been ongoing.

He needs time to think - REALLY THINK.  I would SHAKE HIM UP FROM THE FLOOR UP.  It is better for you to let him know just how serious you are about this as it is COMPLETELY EMBARRASSING, humiliating.  You are not his child.  You are HIS WOMAN who takes care of him on different levels, i.e., sexually, domestically, psychiatrically (listening to his thoughts, ideas, future and current plans), emotionally supportive, and if you work, you are contributing financially to (TEAM- US) etc,   As a couple the two of you are ON THE SAME SIDE - so his dissing you publically is LUDICROUS and CRAZY.  You are a TEAM - going toe to toe with each other positively and his behavior is killing the TEAM.

Be honest, totally honest.  Tell him how you feel, let him know that you are NOT LISTENING TO ANYMORE APOLOGIES, you need space to heal, that he has torn you apart in front of strangers and you are HURTING AND IN PAIN.  You need time to think and you need to put yourself back together again - that he has humiliated you and you need to feel like a woman again and you cannot trust him at this particular time to treat you right when he gets upset or impatient.  It has become painfully obvious that his temper has turned on him and made him out to be a liar and insincere BECAUSE his temper has made his apologies appear shallow and non-believable.  

Write that letter to him and let him know that you are not built to withstand this type of stress, dishonor and lack OF LOVE that he is exhibiting in front of every TOM, D.ICK, AND HARRY on the street, he is turning on you like you stole something - tell him that you love him very much, but you also love yourself and your "God-given self-love" is telling you to walk away.  

However, Instead of walking away from him permanently, you are taking a self-imposed 2 weeks to a month short break to rethink this relationship - you need to revisit the reasons that you "chose him" in the first place and you are "trying to remember why you are with him" because simply put, his outbursts and the trauma he has caused has given you amnesia and it has become almost impossible for you to remember why you are together because he has trampled all over the love you had/have for him and you fear that your love is starting to "not exist for him" anymore.  

Then ask him for his input and that you will only take it via email, or posted letter.  That you do not want to see him for a while and please do not call or come by because you cannot trust him in public any longer until he has had time to really think about the relationship - ask him if YOU ARE WHAT HE WANTS.  Because at this point you really doubt it.

That is how I would handle it.  CUT HIM OFF for a while - I promise you that as of right now, his temper will get MUCH UGLIER if you marry him - if he doesn't change.  If he is clowning you in public without regard to who is standing around - you will be running for your life because his verbal abuse will turn physical.  Let him know that you are willing to go to counseling with him, if he needs you to attend.  Do some research, find out if he is used to seeing this type of behavior from a male in his family.  Ask people that know him or "know of him" - His behavior was picked up from what he has been exposed to and what he sees as normal.  Find this out.  His behavior did not crop up overnight.  How does his dad treat his mother?

If you love him - stick with him - BUT HANDLE THIS or this will be handling you on a much deeper level that won't be good in the future.  It will also help him - I am sure he cannot be happy - treating you in this manner.  He knows it is wrong or he wouldn't be apologizing.  Tough love right now.  If he is for you - he won't leave you - he will focus on his growth and development within himself and the two of you will grow stronger together once you can work through this, he will be happier and so will you.

If he decides to end it and leaves you during the break - PRAISE GOD'S HOLY NAME - Alleluia - God got you out in time, dry any tears that form, dust your feet off and keep walking. The disrespectful, ignorant one is out of the way, no longer blocking the sun so it will shine brightly for you to see - that other person(s) that has had their eye on you and this is their "golden opportunity" to present their video to your awareness to let you know that they are definitely interested. Tighten your seat-belt, have fun, you are going for ride. Enjoy being single - take your time to select the next one.

I don't know my reaction if slapped in my face. Shocked, stunned - I would cry in devastation - TRUST gone. How do you trust your destroyer? Insulting your man and putting him down isn't your right to do either. Physical violence is the beginning of the end. Crying while packing my bags, not knowing where to go but CLEARLY SEEING that staying there is no longer an option. I'll be homeless first.

LOVE = 2 WAY STREET

What has she done for you lately?

Nigerian culture and American culture are different - I am finding this out. I am dating a Nigerian man - WONDERFUL MAN - since I know very little about anything outside of the U.S. - a whole NEW WORLD that operates totally different has opened up to me through him and his daily life in Nigeria.

We have been dating[b] almost a year[/b] before either one of us gave anything to each other especially in the area of money. Because the subject NEVER CAME UP. He sent me something on 2 different occasions before I sent something to him. He gave to me w/out expecting it to be returned to him and I didn't ask for anything - I was pleasantly surprised. His selflessness prompted me to start sending to him. A year later - now - I love him DEEPLY. There is NOTHING THAT I HAVE that I will withhold from him - his honesty, sincerity and level of being "genuine" - touches me to my core. Because we are long distance we need to REALLY SHOW each other our feelings in different ways since we can't just "reach out and touch" yet.

You are long distance from her - she is in school - you are working. She has parents. You are ONE PERSON - her parents and her are a group - the three of them can collectively care more for her and her needs - then you can or should be doing as your job is relatively new.

Soooo what that she is in school. It's obvious that she has a way to get money - it seems like that way is now you. Since you are giving money to her she can give money to you. By now, she should have made that money talk back to her and doubled it. Her love for you should have found a way to make that happen and encouraged her creativity in this area. You should be receiving money from her as well and/or her financial requests should be diminishing not increasing. It sounds like "you are her job". She is making money off of you and since she is school, let's say that she is smart - she should have used her smarts by now to turn the money around that she has gotten from you to this point.

I give to my man financially and he gives to me financially and not once has he asked me for money and not once have I asked him for money. Because we aren't in it for the MONEY. Now, we make money together. Anything that is particularly ONE-SIDED always ends badly. You are giving, and giving and giving - when does that stop?

What is she giving you? Sex? So what, you can give that to her too, Are you getting a good conversation? You can look in the mirror and talk to yourself for free, I'm sorry, so her mom and her dad speak to you? Are you lonely? There is something called falling in love and falling out of love. If you aren't getting anything from her that is similar to what you are giving to her and she is just a girlfriend, oh no, she would have to go.

This does not sound genuine to me. It sounds like you are allowing yourself to be drained like a water hose with no end in sight and it sounds like the three of them: this girl, her mom and her dad are turning on the faucet - they have your handle on OPEN.

You sound really honest and I highly commend you; God directs us to use wisdom. I totally understand that you don't want to lie. So I can appreciate your not wanting telling them that you lost your job or to have to lie and tell them that you quit your job. Tell her that you can't send anymore money for a while - don't explain - it's your money - don't feel guilty and don't give in. There are beautiful women in Nigeria and all over the planet that will and can readily take her place and shower you with as much as you shower them. With truth, love, money, understanding, sex, beauty. This is a give and take - YOU HAVE ONE LIFE - You have only yourself to blame if you don't live it. Don't be the next man's gossip or the next man's fool. You are worth MORE THAN THAT. If she walks, God will bestow on you another that is worthy of you.

You are not the Bank of America - everyone of us is responsible for OWN SELVES - God loves her and you. If God provided for you and blessed you with a job, he will provide for her too - she is still alive so obviously she has been taking care of herself before you got that job. God did not make you her banker. You are making yourself her banker at an early stage - if you don't slow it down now. You will be her banker forever. Her love for you SHOULD MAKE HER STOP BEGGING especially when you have bills you have to pay with the money YOU MADE.

Test her first. See how long she will be in your life without giving out a dime. You don't have to lie, but tell her you have no money to send and you don't know when in the near future you will have money to send because you need to settle your finances for your future and for her future. See how she reacts.

This is 2010 - THE WORLD IS IN THE MIDDLE OF A RECESSION. Your extra money needs to be going into an account to finance your current and future dreams. IF you pay it all out to her and you have yet to marry and she isn't who you marry - you will be kicking your own a-- up the road and be on NL bitter, angry and broke - talking about ALL WOMEN and HOW DIRTY THEY ARE - we won't even recognize you anymore and most of us will be too reluctant to comment on your posts for fear of getting cursed out.

It's OK to spend some money to go on a date - but forking over cash every payday? Her calculations steadily climbing? I don't think sooooo, just remember when you didn't have that job. Who forked it over to you when you were broke? You better start saving and paying your bills. When you have nothing - what can she give you? You are the one in power here, giving your money away to someone who is unemployed = giving your power away and her demands are increasing every payday? If she loves you and she knows you are working for "the two of you" in the right way - she will understand and not leave you and put the brakes on the begging. If she gets upset - my advice is to dust your feet off and keep walking.

I'm surprised that her Dad didn't pull you to the side and tell you to stop. You have to take care of yourself first in order to take care of everybody else. You need to build up your financial worth and you have no way of doing that - if you are forking it over all the time.

@ ehs
your comment:

LOL, no comment dear, go ahead with your bad self, interesting post and please go through your post again and make corrections as needed, good luck

--------------------------------------------
my response:

lololololol smh hmmmmm - thank you for your well wishes

@ ehs

I have been told by many that "I am one of a kind" but my belief is that you and every single person on the planet is and can be one of a kind. You are what you eat (mentally) and you are how you treat yourself and others. lololol, so you are calling me out huh? And? As far as your not believing that I live in the U.S. sounds like a dilemma you will need to deal with when you look in your mirror. I have nothing to prove to anyone but to my God, my self, my man and my family.   I am definitely born, bred and have lived in the U.S. for my ENTIRE life and rest assured that isn't anything to brag on,   Everyone is different.  How does one sound like they live anywhere?  There are millions of people in the U.S. and in Nigeria that think differently. People all over the world in different locations have good morals, intelligence, compassion, creativity, humor - even more so when God is at the center of your circumference.

Yes - you definitely have a soul mate.

But YOU ALWAYS MORE THAN ONE. It's who you connect with on a close level that also connects with you. Two thoughts that are similar in several areas.

You HAVE MORE THAN ONE SOUL MATE. God never leaves us alone. He provide for us Alway - You have more than one soul mate.

@ Promixking

I don't know much about your country - I am trying to learn. This doesn't make sense to me. I just recently started dating a Nigerian man - he is extremely romantic, very honest, very loving. I am very attached to him. He is in Lagos, I am in the U.S. He is very intelligent and loves God very much as do I. You know, start with God - ask God to send you who you are to be with and look for God's direction. God knows every single person on the planet - billions of people that YOU DON'T KNOW but God will mate you with the right person who will appreciate you for who you are. You sound kind, conscientious, caring, intelligent, loving - he will introduce you to your mate who will appreciate your romantic side and appreciate you whether you have money or NOT. Relationships don't work when built on money ANYWAY. The right woman will work with you side by side to build together a financial capital that comes last. Your mate and blessings are right in front of you. Get to work and Ask God to bring them to your awareness. Start attending events that YOU ENJOY - at these events you will find females that enjoy the same things you enjoy - Be it going to the library or book clubs or soccer events or cooking classes, etc, Like Minds think Alike and Make the Best Mates. Evenly Yoked starts in your own back yard. I wish you well.

I live in the USA - across the ocean this stinks. I know very little about Nigeria. But this sounds EXTREMELY SUSPECT. There were too many people in the house that could have overpowered this one person. I pray on bended knee that justice is done. I do NOT BELIEVE this story. It sounds like this man is being "set up." God will reveal the culprits in this matter. Everything comes to the light.

OK - I have never dated a younger man EVER and then I met HIM. I have never liked younger guys and then I met HIM. I have never dated a shorter guy and then I met HIM. He is the tallest man I ever saw, biologically speaking he's younger than I and in regards to dominance factor as a male he is so much older than I.

You know - I met the person and after talking to him for a series of months he then revealed to me that he is actually YOUNGER than I. I am sooo glad he never told me because I would have turned my back and walked away from the LOVE of my life. We are PERFECT for each other. I am glad I was able to see HIM and not his age, height, etc. I saw HIM - his qualities, his values, his dreams, his aspirations and FELL IN LOVE with this man.

I didn't know at the time and I am so grateful now that I didn't buy into the "accepted norms of the times" or "bother to LISTEN to those who won't share our bed when it's time."

widow, definitely.

lololololololololol - who is Mobo444? This guy cracks me up!!!!! This is sooooo funny. hahahahahaha.

Different reasons a lady would say this.

If you are in the category of "male friend ONLY" she is looking for advice from you.

If you are in the category of "prospective mate" she is wanting to get a reaction from you - she wants to know if you are a "jealous type" or if you will allow her to have "male friends" - she is wanting to see your action versus hearing your words.

Or she is wanting to make you jealous. There are many different reasons she is sharing this with you.

Thong-Thang was a song. I absolutely love thongs and g-strings - all colors, designs - ONLY WEAR THONGS-yayyyyyyy. No more sweating, fresh, clean, no panty-lines, not tight. LOOOVE THEM.

davidylan:

I wish you well. I need to retire for the night. Maybe later, nice talking to you. hmmmmmmm

davidylan:

what happened? why did your blog end in 2009? is everything ok with you?

Yes - of course - laughing, crying, venting - but keep it in perspective - don't take it to horrific levels - don't make your life a drama fit for the movies.

People get upset - and?? The sky is blue.

Davidylan:

It comes with experience. There is no rule book, just general tidbits every man shld know before committing to a woman. You claim all you want is love and be loved . . . well that is being simplistic. Compatibility, mutual respect, compromise e.t.c. are just a few things a relationship has to contend with outside of love.

`````````

When you are loved: You don't have to "break it down" - love encompasses many things automatically: mutual respect, compromise, - "compatibility" is an art form that you work towards - NO ONE is compatible across the board. It is a give and a take - a dance. Love encourages and motivates both partners to dance with each other. I'm not talking about "lust or like or really, really like." I am talking about LOVE.