₦airaland Forum

Wow,

Our cultures are REALLY DIFFERENT.

Stretch marks?  Stretch marks are soo faint especially those during puberty.

I recall clearly how EXCITED YOU WOULD GET TO HAVE THE ABILITY TO HAVE A STRETCH MARK.

Stretch Marks - SPECIFICALLY MARK the areas where the skin expands.  So as soon as you start growing from a tight little girl into a very curvaceous, sexy woman.  Is the growth of a stretch mark.

I used to beg God to give me stretch marks.  Because that meant I didn't have a flat azz any longer.  My thighs and buttocks grew from broom sticks into well formed soft feminine legs and a butt that was tight and solid enough to lift and hold a glass of water without spilling that I could walk from one side of the room to the next without wasting - carried, perched on my azz.

That was the GLORY of being able to have a stretch mark.

All stretch marks aren't ugly, discolored, different colors.  There are many stretch marks that are faint and blend well with the color of your skin and are barely noticeable - because if you have firm bosoms, a great shapely azz, small waist and abdominals, a beautiful smile and all he is doing is looking at stretch marks - kick him out and replace him with someone that can't wait to touch, smell, lick every stretch that's marked your body.

Stay in shape and tone your body - he won't notice or even CARE about a stretch mark and he will love you to the point of suffocation.

I have NEVER heard a complaint about a stretch mark from a man only boys, think like this.  What a Pity,  Wowww,

I have a guy right now.

I CANNOT WAIT to get with him

I am going to show him on so many different levels how I feel until I am completely full and satisfied and I mean that sincerely.

Hoping?

You better do a bit more than just hope.

Nothing negative here. But in the U.S. - women approaching men - is VERY NORMAL AND ACCEPTABLE.

So if you like this guy - why take a chance? This is NOT NIGERIA.

You don't have to throw yourself at him - because there is ALWAYS A WAY OF DOING THINGS that will get his attention, encourage his approaching you and allow you the luxury of being able to do what that girl was doing with him in the picture.

If you like him, and if he is worthy of you, you might want to step a little bit out of your shell. You are on NL telling us how you feel about him. While someone else is telling him by sitting on his lap.

If I really liked him, I would take some action on some level. You are a woman and you are creative. My advice is to create a connection with him in a manner that is acceptable and comfortable for you and see how it unfolds.

Good Grief WOMAN

put that bucket of chicken down,

Elvismaxwe:
am a guy .pls can any 1 put mi thru, am a new member in dis site. am looking 4 a garl has my life partner, so a frend of mind gave me dis site to reg and place my requst on dis site. pls hw do i go about and post my requst.

Good Morning to you, welcome to NL

I enjoy reading and replying - I hope you find what you are looking for - some ppl are definitely honest and very attractive, whether they post their picture or not and they are everywhere including NL.

Also what looks good to you, doesn't look good to someone else - looks are in the beholders eye.

God is everywhere and he provides whereever he goes, so who knows, try your hand - even here on NL.  Just be careful and respectful.  Nice to meet you.

Also instead of approaching Mgmt as a sole/solo person

Start a petition

Create a petition and pass it around and have everyone sign it and utilize her situation as an example and don't make demands but instead list what you would like to see come from this for other employees

Also - ask that any monies that had been collected and reversed be give to her survivors - to her husband and children

IF something happens to me - Any and everything that I am or hope to be - will be given to my remaining immediate family (mate and offspring)

This is horrific.

I am appalled

My heart goes out to her and her family.

The monies collected should still be given to her husband.

I will pass this story around here in the US as well.  I will contact a news outlet and see if it can go to the press.

1one:
I think most of the time if we allow our selves we would see that most of these "hot ladies" have their minds beaming with subtle rays appended with the phrase-"You don't really have to try that hard", ladies,am I on course?

Personally, I love this piece of what you said ESPECIALLY. I don't understand it myself and I wonder to myself - "exactly what is wrong with me." Because when a man tries too hard. For some reason it is a turn off and it's not even his fault - it's just the approach. I am repulsed by men that throw "lines at me," and men "that throw themselves at me." I've never liked it because it is embarrassing and I am shy as this behavior attracts attention.

It's when a man is honest and just matter-of-fact in his approach - who just says "hi - how are you today or hi - my name is -----, what's yours? I like those because they are genuine, simple and direct. The slick, playboy type - grosses me out.

I don't know but "masculine men" - not caveman types but "masculine" - rugged looking men - I love them. Dark skin or brown skinned men - I love them. I love deep voices. Men that smell good with cologne and a well dressed man - yessssss - shirt, slacks, shoes, I love those kind of men.

You know - the attraction is either there or it isn't there at all,

@ Poster - Thank you for what you wrote.

My husband died a young man in 2009 after a one year devastating illness. I did NOT WANT TO LIVE - I loved him SO MUCH - I thought life was over for me. I lost interest in eating, every single thing - I slept for 10 hours straight - I would go to sleep - it was dark; I would wake up it was dark again. I cried constantly. Didn't care who I was, where I was. I wanted to die with him and I turned away from everyone including God. The thought of dating or allowing another man into my life wasn't even an option and I never tried to do this, not even on a friendship level.

For the sake of survival - I turned to God. For the sake of my family - who would grieve me and who needed me to GET IT TOGETHER - I did it for them - NOT FOR ME.

Then J (MY MAN) showed up for me and I resisted him for quite a while. I met him on the internet. I NEEDED HIM to do just what he did - had I met him in person - we wouldn't even be dating now. He very slowly gave me space and just talked casually, slowly - pulling me out of my self-inflicted shell that was created by my loss.

You know, in the end you have to learn to love your relationship with a being outside of "a human". So I cultivated a relationship with God that I truly love - because what if something happens to "My Current Love?". It is soo important that I have a relationship with God because people will come and people will go. This I have learned - a VERY HARD LIFE LESSON for me. What if J and I don't marry as we plan to do? Then I am by myself again.

I love God so deeply and I now trust that God will never leave me and will put people in my life throughout my life that I can turn to, I can talk to, I can love and I can be loved by one that God has provided for me.

Poster thank you for this - your article.

@ slap1

Thank you for the advice. He is an older man. I hope I won't need any sugar - but I will do as you say and keep it close.

I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings so I will have to sweet-n it while he isn't looking - if I need to utilize that as an option.

I love a man that can cook. It is very sexy, I do agree. I hope my man can cook, I will find out soon. He says he can, but I will taste it.

You know, it is so much fun to even cook together in the kitchen - that is fun and exciting to share that with each other and also trying different recipes together as well.

Men can definitely be masculine in the kitchen - I have always wanted to see a man in the kitchen without a shirt and wearing a chef's hat.

Infidelity? What?

You are on your own - forget what I said earlier.

I met my man on the internet.

We talked for a few weeks to maybe a month or a month and a half

Then we start talking on the phone

Then he started sending me different items from Nigeria to my home

He made himself legitimate FIRST - he went out of his way to buy my trust with his actions - NOT HIS MONEY

He said it, Then he physically did it

I trust him COMPLETELY with EVERYTHING NOW.

Make sure that you have spent TIME with him - watch to make sure his actions match his words

I LOVE THIS THREAD,

Self Care is soooo critical to loving yourself so you can properly love others:

1 - Wash face, use very light, non-greasy facial moisturizer, brush teeth - ALWAYS FLOSS GUMS, Rinse mouth for fresh breath

2 - Bible Lesson Upon Awaking - eases the muscles everywhere - face, back - always promotes YOUTH AND BEAUTY

3 - Drink 2 bottles of Water

4 - Walk 1-2 hours every day - am upset when I have to miss my walking time because of workload with clients (have fast music and headphones-they are a MUST)

5 - Right after walking outside (warm weather/walk inside during cold weather) - I Go to a gym 4 days a week and tone for 30-40 minutes

6 - Vegetables and bananas prevent cancer and disease - ESPECIALLY GREEN LEAFY VEGETABLES - my new Nigerian boyfriend has introduced me to eating cucumbers like apples - eating them whole - I am loving this so I am adding that to my daily diet as much as possible as well.  I eat bananas everyday, sometimes twice a day.  I love vegetables and fruit and fill myself on those a lot.

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Take Shower with 2 TYPES OF SOAP - deodorant soap to remove odor - then follow with a good smelling shower gel that softens skin
(Shower twice a day - once in morning after workout and once in evening prior to bed)

Air dry - no towel

love baby oil and body creams (I use different brands)

spray on Gucci Rush Perfume or Oscar De La Rente or Alfred Sung before heading to the office (I love those 3 scents)

Also - I wash my hair once a week as it is difficult to handle because of its thickness and length, I refuse to go to a hair salon and when I wash my hair each week in the shower - as soon as the shower ends - I will let the tub empty and then fill the tub full of water and add baby oil to the tub and soak for about 5-10 minutes then get out and just gently blot myself dry - the skin is soft as a baby's bottom to the touch - WORKS WONDERS

If you have the luxury and can make the time - LIGHT SOME CANDLES right before you submerge to soak - turn on some soft music, turn off the lights, light some candles and get you some "ME TIME."  No worries, your face will glow and you will be beautiful - it is soothing and is therapy

HAIR:
-I don't spend ANY MONEY IN HAIR SALONS - I do my own hair - I am tender headed and HATE BRAIDS AND WEAVE
-I trim the ends of my hair every 3 weeks - it is too long to cut the back myself as I can no longer reach it so I have my mom trim the ends in the far back - don't do it yourself as you will cut it uneven
-I wash my hair with a conditioning shampoo, I use a conditioner directly after washing and leave in my hair while showering and rinse out after showering my body, then I put a leave-in CREAM CONDITIONER in my hair that smells wonderful and protects my hair from breakage - I don't ever wash this out and I let my hair air dry - when pressed for time I will sit under a dryer to dry hair before clipping my hair up for the day - it is rare that I wear my hair down.  I wear my hair brushed back and clipped up - I don't ever let rubber bands touch my hair.
-I perm my new growth every 3 months with "Just For Me" - It is a children's relaxer - strength I use is mild.
-I don't use any heat on my hair whatsoever until it is time for my deep conditioning treatment and hot/oil treatments that I give to myself twice a month and I sit under a hardhat dryer
- I use curling irons and heated rollers maybe ONCE OR TWICE A YEAR during an event that requires me to dress up for possibly a family reunion or Xmas party because heat breaks is damaging to my hair, braids tear it out at the root and around the scalp line, weaves and glue (gross to me) - I tried a weave years ago and the glue tore out my hair and dried it up - NEVER AGAIN
-My hair is always soft and smells really good - I get many compliments on its condition and length when I do wear it down
-At night I wear a silk scarf on my hair and wrap my hair each night - I never sleep with it loose unless it is time for intimacy

I go to a nail salon for a pedicure - twice a month - 30.00 each visit

I do my own nails - I give myself a manicure once a week - nail polish is a girls best friend - red, cream, coral, french manicure, beige colors are the only ones I use

MAKEUP - lip gloss, lip liner, eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow - natural - browns, beige (do not like blue, purple, green) - love natural colors - I used to be a makeup artist for Shiseido and Fashion Fair Makeup Lines and LESS IS MORE - translucent light face powder is all I use - NO FOUNDATION

- I love the Shiseido skin care line - it is Japanese - WONDERFUL skin care products - I use daily for my skin - I have the T-zone - semi-oily skin - my skin is clear - because of exercise and diet and I refuse to wear foundation makeup on my skin it clogs the skin and breaks me out and is horribly oily the liquid and the cream foundation are both gross - I won't use either.

- Oil of Olay Regenerist Serum - WONDERFUL FOR ALL AGES so don't let the "regenerist" name fool you - I LOVE IT

- I use thin fabric shower gloves to wash my face once a week - it exfoliates the skin and I will use a mask on my face for cleansing once a week

- Also use shower gloves on my hands every time I shower - you skin feels so SOFT with shower gloves - I HIGHLY RECOMMEND TO YOU

****SORRY for going on and on - but this is my FAVORITE TOPIC - it is soo important to take care of yourself - we as women give ourselves so much to everybody else.  I am really focusing on myself even more so now.  How you love yourself shows its face to the world and increases longevity for your self.

I agree with topup

tashanja:
Thought I knew everything, wow just perfect, you must be a genius - this girl, just how old are you anyway- I'm impressed.

I am not a genius - FAR FROM IT - just very, very observant and have keen insight about people - Thank you

America is a great place to live

There is violence everywhere

Overall - if you avoid violence, it avoids you

Choose your friends wisely
Be properly informed before you choose your schools and your neighborhoods

If you have never been in America most people have many preconceptions about America THAT ARE FALSE AND OVEREXAGGERATED:

About African Americans
About Crime
About Welfare

I live in beautiful areas Always
If I have ever visited a bad, crime ridden area (I had friends that lived everywhere0)- I have never had a problem as I stay to myself

Americans know very little about other countries - THE MAJORITY OF US ARE IGNORANT

We fear other countries as much or more than foreigners fear us.  Most foreigners have a better knowledge about America than Americans have about other countries.

Mobo:

Thank you.

MOBO444:
Please i am not too good with he computer, someone should please explain to me how to take off Shy_one names from that list, she has promised to be of good altitude and she has always been a nice lady, so sorry i included you on that list.

Thank you very much MOBO.  Thank for doing this for me.  You are a great guy.  I work with computers - I train clients on software packages such as the Office Suite and I also prepare legal documents, taxes, manuscripts for people who write books and need publishing, etc,

I have never opened up a thread on NL - I just reply to threads created by others and I know how to edit my comments - there is a side button that says "modify" after you reply to a thread - so I can go in and modify what I just wrote at any time.

I don't know how to modify the post of the creator - I hope you can do this on your posts that you open.  Please find out for me.  I so appreciate the kindness you have given to me thus far. My man is like you, he is soo intelligent and forgiving and fair.

freedomfro:
I'm 20 years old, African-American female, and seeing a Yoruba man who's 28 years old. He's the best, he treats me so great! American men have never made me feel this way, he calls regularly, always accepts my phone calls and texts, and treats me like a Queen. I can only do the same in return. He truly is my King. Regardless of stereotypes, this one's real. He's educated, and a little americanized, but still cultured. We've been taking things VERY SLOWLY for 8 months, and I'm falling very hard. Anyone dating, married or been married to an older Yoruba man, experiences, comments, concerns, questions, advice! LET's TALK!

I too am AA and my man is in Lagos as well. I love him SOO MUCH, he is soo good to me. He loves God and I love God. We think a lot alike. We are also in similar fields of work. He is so honest that it catches me off guard and I can do nothing but look at him and thank God for him every single day. He is funny and highly intelligent and creative and understanding. My parents have spoken with him via phone, my family members. We talk all the time. I love him and cannot imagine being without him.

I don't know much about Nigeria and am trying very hard to understand the people and culture - I feel a bit intimidated at times because of my lack of knowledge, but I am trying to open my thought because he is worth my time, energy and effort to learn him and his ways. I wish I knew Nigerian women and men so I could find out more - there aren't many books that I have been able to find yet so he told me about this NL and so far I have learned a little. But I just don't know if it is very accurate - the court is out on that yet.

I will follow the posts on your thread you have posted. Thank you for posting this - it is helpful to me.

Googles

I like you very much too.

@ All Ladies:

Because I ask my name to be removed - please do not turn on me and attack me - this is how I feel and I shouldn't be targeted for feeling the way I do.  I let everybody state their ideas, opinions and try to just state mine.  There are things people say and do and I let them express themselves without judging them one way or the other.

There are many of you ladies that I love reading your thoughts as it helps me in my own life too.  Ink_nerd, Mama Gee, Omolola1 (I love her demeanor a lot), Queeneve (Is so bold - she gives me strength some times - I would fear doing alot that she states but my admiration for her is immense as well), Googles I like your words, Creamish, SA Goddess, I read to learn and to listen too.  There are also many men on here that when I hear their points of view it broadens my horizon and gets me to think.

But because I ask Mobo444 to take me off shouldn't be a license to others to open the door and put me down or call me weak.  Because weak I am not.  I just believe that truly you can communicate with anyone and everyone one and communication also includes the words please and can be friendly even in the face of adversity, uncomfortable topics, etc.

@ Mobo

I PROMISE

Please take my name off this thread.


@ Creamish

One person's "idea of begging" is another person's "act of negotiating"

@ Odunnu

I am a very serious person - my man is worth whatever I need to do

@ Mobo

Thank you for your understanding and I still like you very much - please kindly remove my name  - I wish you a "happy birthday" coming up - my fellow libran - Also have a WONDERFUL DAY.

Mobo

Please take my name off - edit me out - please

Yes, I post on NL - it is a very innocent vice and can be helpful to myself and to others too

I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't cheat

Also, I checked into what Odunnu and Omolola1 said because I notice that when I shut my computer off and then turn it on I am automatically still logged into NL - I rarely have to log in.  So I am permanently logged in and don't know this,

My work is 100% computer work that I do and if I don't shut the page in NL - it looks like I am in NL when I actually AM NOT.

So you are wrong - I am not on NL for 17 hours a day - I can understand how you might see it that way

Please remove my name from this thread you have posted.

ohhh my goshhh,

lolololololol

why why??

you listed my name on this thread?

you have got to take my name off of this MOBO - plzzzzz

My boyfriend - is a new boyfriend - he is the first Nigerian I have ever dated - AND I LOVE HIM

He will not like seeing my name here, I don't stay on NL ----well, I guess I do lately ---heck it was interesting and funny and new and different.

I definitely have a man - I LOVE HIM AND I DON'T WANT TO LOSE HIM.

I belong to him and he belongs to me.

Take my name off of here MOBO - edit your thread

It was funny - I have to be honest and admit that I laughed so hard - I was SHOCKED.

But all laughs and jokes aside. I love him - you have GOT TO TAKE MY NAME DOWN

I will be a very distraught irrational libra if you do not delete me

ok

I just read your last 17 posts - you don't have to leave me alone - I am going to ignore you

This is just you - this is who you are trying to be intentionally on NL

You have disagreed with everyone - 15 of the last 17 posts from you were posted to take the "opposite stance"

You have a method to your madness

I am not replying to you again - I am officially off of your roller coaster ride

@ tensor777

lololololololol

hahahahahahaha

please leave me alone

tensor777:
Well I have to quote you as  you seem to be all over the place with your points. So now it is the crazy yankee culture which he wants his child to avoid as opposed to the more positive reasons for wanting the kid to learn about the native culture? Even the kid would presumably come back in the volatile teen years to face the same supposedly crazy culture.
Really woman what are you on about??

It is obvious to even a "slow person" that there are "many layers" going on here.

Yankee?  Who uses that word?  Do you live in the Southern part of the US?  Yankee was used by Southerners to describe those that lived in the Northern part of this country back during the Civil War and "racists Southerners" use it today - as they can't seem to step into this CENTURY.  Now you are using that word in a discussion with me?  Who are you?

I assure you my friend - that choosing me as an opponent on an intellectual level isn't a wise decision for you to make.

Can you ONLY do one task at a time?  Can you only see ONE IDEA and assume that that "one idea" is SEPARATE FROM OTHERS?

Pay attention ok?  

It is obvious that I was implying more than one idea in my statement that you are making a paltry attempt to tear apart.

It's obvious the Dad wants MANY THINGS FOR HIS OFFSPRING.  Avoiding the "craziness" with many of the kids in the US and instilling his native cultures in the childrearing process as well as bonding his children with his family in Nigeria and learning about their native land, etc, etc, etc,

Try to learn how to grasp more than one concept ok?

Are you watching TV and trying to post?  It seems as though your full attention isn't being applied to what you are reading and writing here on NL.

tensor777:
Are you on the right page here? We are not talking about the kids of the well-heeled that attend expensive private schools in the West.

This is  about the proposed kidnapping of a 5year old child from her mum.

What?

Yes! I am on the right page.

This isn't about kidnapping a child - this is a dad trying to send a child back to the child's native country because he fears that the crazy culture in America will be the one the child follows.

You mentioned boarding schools - 5 year olds don't go to boarding schools - and there are grants and scholarships available for ANYONE TO ATTEND so your equating boarding schools with being well-heeled and expensive and some type of Western Privilege - shows that you know very little "actual facts even in that area."

Why are you highlighting my statements? I know you not and want it to REMAIN THAT WAY.

dayokanu:
A

If you read comments here like those quoted below, You would see many posters agree that any parent who makes the kids live outside the house doesnt like the children and has a hidden agenda

Everyone is entitled to their opinion as am I.

Because other people who are posting feel this way - that's irrelevant - I feel differently - I am not voting for that opinion - I beg to differ - kids living out the house doesn't equate a "hidden agenda"

Now what?