₦airaland Forum

do you think her sister should adopt the child at least to lessen the pain as agatha suggested or? i mean, the no matter her  option/choice,  the child is still the husbands and she is technically a part of the baby

goodness me! how can a sister be so mean

Dear Agatha,



I am in a very hot soup and what is happening to me appears to be like a story from a movie. I am still hoping to wake up from this nightmare. I have gone to several places to seek help including a radio programme, but my problem persists. And with each day, it becomes more complex and too confusing for me to handle.

I don’t know where to start or how to solve this problem facing me in my marriage. My husband impregnated my sister. After her Youth Service, she requested to come over to Lagos to stay with me. My mother didn’t particularly like the idea of her coming living with me in my matrimonial home, but being my sister and one I like very much, I overruled my mother.

It didn’t end my mother’s concern as she kept calling my sister to behave herself without causing troubles for me in my marriage. Curious to know why mother was always cautioning her against causing problems for me, she just laughed over the matter and dismissed mother as being paranoid. Since I didn’t really grow with them, I have lived all my life in boarding schools outside the country. I know very little

I honestly didn’t have any reason to suspect she was having an affair with my husband until I noticed she was pregnant. Not that she told me about her pregnancy, I chanced on her antenatal card and asked if she was pregnant. She told me yes and when I asked her who the man was since I noticed she had one or two men always around her. She told me the owner of the pregnancy is someone I know and who I would approve of.

Bothered that my husband may not like the situation of her staying in his house with a pregnancy. I told my sister to hasten the process of bringing the man home to meet my husband to avoid problems for me in my own home.

To my surprise she told me not to worry about my husband that he wouldn’t mind, because the owner of the pregnancy is like a twin brother to him. Her attitude was at that point beginning to irritate me so I decided to inform my husband myself about the development. I had expected him to be enraged with anger, but he instead broke down in tears begging me to forgive him. That my sister practically despoiled him on one of those Saturdays I went out.

He said he has been begging her to abort the child when she came to inform him of the pregnancy but my sister says she cannot afford to go through an abortion again. According to him he has done everything to erase the incident but my sister appears determined to hurt me for a reason he doesn’t understand. To demonstrate his helplessness, he even went to the extent of buying her a ticket to travel abroad to save me the pains of knowing that she is carrying his baby.

As if wasn’t enough shock for me, when I confronted my sister, she told me its her turn to pay me back for having everything she has always desired as a child. She said whereas, our parents made her stay in Nigeria, I was given the opportunity to school abroad. For the first time I experienced real hatred from the eyes of the person I love with all my heart.

My parents especially my mother is devastated by what my sister has done. She is currently on admission for high blood pressure. My father and the rest of the family have disowned my sister just as my in-laws too have also disowned the pregnancy. My husband is sending everybody to beg me to forgive him, but my sister remains adamant despite pressures from everyone that she terminates the pregnancy.

Agatha, I have always trusted my husband and know that he would not deliberately do anything to hurt me, but how can I share him with my sister or explain to my children that their cousin is actually their father’s child? All his friends are also united in my favour. He went as far as getting his managing director to come and beg me to forgive him. I am really confused. I have known my husband for over 18 years and never has he once betrayed me even when he had all the excuses to. http://odili.net/news/source/2010/aug/12/400.html

Should I quit or remain and fight for the man I really love?

.

eyah pele, mega don pay. una no dey hear. am sure many have or will still fall victim to their useless scams in this section.

i wish people will learn or at least try to learn from your mistakes and not be too haste to take in all the claims this scam artists make here



Hope4hiv

come and defraud yourself of the accusations

this thread has been replicated and duplicated for the 100th time

there is definitely 98% chance this woman will not leave this man.


the man will beg, cry, fast-her heart will "soften"

the man will bring her/his pastors and church members and friends to beg - she will consider a second chance

the girlfriends and possibly family members will beg- she will likely give-in

LOL @ chairs mini-thread

the dog is more important. at least it will protect you and keep you company

the cat does nothing but eat and meow all the time- unless you have rats in the house

the fish does nothing but to swim up and down

the rabbit- too cute to be useful.

BB i said so in response to that particular Siena's quote, he responded to. regardless, of whether a good mother was the only requirement or not, there are still some men who would still choose their wives and he should at least put that into his "box". choosing their wives doesnt imply more or less. everyone is different, so is every story. you should know na

sharp sharp!

what's good for the goose is good for the gander

toaspromo:
get married and control your urge

biggest myth. i bet you never heard of married men who are the greatest self-wankers.

rhymz:
. . . .how long have U been married Mr?
E be like say love still dey shark you like beer. . . Anyway, goodluck with the putting mum in the last sit, that is so unselfish of you, very thoughtful and greatful. But let me ask you this, God forbids sth happens to the marriage and the woman divorces you, where will you now put mummy? Huh? I guez mum will now assume the no1 until the next woman comes and displaces her in a space a couple of months. . . Great guy! I believe you are every gold digger's dream and every mum's night. . .

you are assuming this "mother thing" as if ALL men have/had a great relationship with their mothers. for some men, their wife is their center of everything, because many experienced their journey with them and helped mold them into whoever they are. these women were the mothers these men had but never did really have. so, everyones story is quite different. try not to package everyone into your 'box'. still, leave that 'space' for those who had it/believe it different/ly from you. having ones wife as "most important" doesnt in anyway IMPLY the mother is least important and vice versa. different strokes . . . . . .

Lol. sure do understand you! just deal with it or try to watch it sometimes with them and immerse yourself in their world and see what they see

[quote author=invisible! link=topic=492527.msg6534195#msg6534195 date=1281260677]@Sissy,
Not nearly as sick as watching toddlers crying their eyez out because of lack of motherly love. Or arrogant bookheads shouting their husbands down, not because they are right but because they think "you cannot talk to me that way, do you know who I am?" "In my office, men like you bow down to worship me!"

Very very sick![/quote]so an uneducated woman in your opinion cant  do any of the above you "described"?

@ invisible

how can a woman with very high degrees and too much knowledge respect anyone, talk less of his husband that she sees his 'kini' every night? The high pursuit of knowledge by women is a problem on its own, in the end the kids suffer,

goodness me.


https://serve.mysmiley.net/sick/sick0026.gif <<--- sick

men think say na only them sabi chop and clean mouth eh kwa?

[quote author=Ileke-IdI link=topic=249630.msg6533388#msg6533388 date=1281234124]Yea, I often wonder why some children brought up in a vile environment are successful while some are not? Is there a genetic print in a child that is turned on/off or activated in the presence of an inhibitor e.g diet, condition, situation, stress etc?[/quote]. i think it a combination of all things, parenting, environment and genetics. i mean some kids have the best things life can offer in life, good parents, safe environment(neighbors, best schools, upper social connections etc) but somehow, they are still not "up to that standard" expected of them given their privileged life. versa vice

Is the article suggesting that   children's behavior(s)  is/are not caused by the child's early environment, and  that parents should be absolved of any blame partaining to the training of their children and future success?

No, i dont think thats what the article is suggesting. i sort of see it as  kind of emphasizing that african proverb that says "it takes a village to raise a child" thing. i mean, you hear parents complain, and question everything when it comes to success of their child. "i/we gave him/her everything", they went to the best school" good environment"etc but somehow along the way they still messed up, sort of like why do bad things happen to good people thing. so, from my standpoint, the article is kind of saying, parents shouldnt be too quick to blame themselves for everything that went bad with their son/daughter in this case, because certain things are definitely beyond their parental control.

bloody nonsense. beat her twice and trying to blame the evil huh? leave him and thank God

that man that beat her twice WILL beat her AGAIN once theyre married and the good news? he will continue blaming the 'devil' for it.

if the 'devil' made him beat her twice in 2days, let her calculate, multiply,divide and add how more beatings she going to receive in the long years/days of the marriage because 'devil' is ALWAYS going to be there.

maybe the wife wouldn't have 'overreacted' if the hubby said, "my mother was ONE of the most important people in my life"

at the end of the day, she 'overacted' esp following the funeral of her MIL. her hubby probably meant what he said but maybe suffered from improper way of putting it

we still have a long way to go on that but i really do hope it wouldnt be for another century. it'd definitely be nice to have them there to hold their hands or legs or give them that encouragement "you can do this" or 'one more push'etc cause it is definitely not easy in there

mutter:
well that is because the hospital does not allow it.  In other parts of the world most Nigerians accompany their wives.
I think it is sad that hospitals do not allow it in Nigeria because it is a great help for the wife and that special moment should be shared.
My husband has always stayed with me and it really helped. He cuts the cod and always gets to take the babies soon after they are born.

i think they should be allowed too, at least they should have that option. i know many men would LOVE to be there, if not for anything else, to at least see their mini-self's head pass through that carnal. but many objectors cite "privacy" for the wife (yeah right) while others say, they would be a distraction in there.

did the woman utter this when the husband came down from the stand after the eulogy or when they went home?


if the woman knew any better, she would at least shut up, cause since his mil was his hubbys MIVIP person, that means she automatically gets the award after-wards


many men(naija) tend to have a very close-net relationships with their mothers, it doesnt mean they dont value their wives. shes has been the one that has been with him and for him from day one so she should have understood that he would place such importance on her. in-short,  she overreacted and she should have not questioned this kind of thing

changed in which part?

men arent still allowed into the labor room until this very last seconds in many if not all the places in naija.

has anyone tried kinky twist? was it too heavy(big)on the hair? will it look good on longer hair?

skeed19:
@Sissy, no one begged you to contribute here, if you don't like a post kindly go.
i really dislike people who don't use their brains to reason, this is a post that affects our societal norms and culture, we have watched our kids driffed from our culture and here some funny people are buy calling a poison chemical.
Please some of you need to check your brains.

LOL

.

ROFLmao! this okpoka movie na die

k

i cried yesterday when i saw a girl whose parents bearly fed well, dressed with half of her bosom outside, the trousers she wore is such that the furos of her buttocks was out, with beads, and a terrible scaring make-up, and i heard the mother saying, have a great day my sweet daughter.

story.