₦airaland Forum

Cunninlingus: who needs water when there is a fountain of moet

LMFAO

Let him go on with his heaven & hell $hit.

This is one funny thread. Waiting patiently for the guy too.

Sarcoc: What has a Priest got to do with loading trucks??

Who is he making money for? For the records, I am a Christian and a Chatolic too!

He's a Priestnessman!

Godjone: the fools championing this campaingn of calumni are thesame ppl that want a muslim govna. I remember the day the incident occur, som useless indiviaduals were jubilitating around the city wishing the govnor death. I stumbled on some of them and i over-heard them wispering to eachother that it is now high-time a muslim man steer the affair of taraba state. thesame crops of animals were equally responsible for Ibi violence. I av a word for them. Suntain wil return home and continue in his capacity as the governor. A muslim govna as far taraba was concerned wil neva be realizable and is imposicant.

So how are you different from them now? Nigerians sha. Is it the gov's religion that matters, or to have somebody who'll develop your state?

afrikanns: I sincerely experienced most retrogressive governance since I have known what governments seem to represent, the look am observing on the faces of masses everyday seem to be scary, tough everybody seems to be looking for economy way out by all means,either thru rituals,unlawful deals, sex work, 419s and so on and on. Sometimes ago the president requested for increment in the feeding allocation to the Aso Rock that the billions of naira was not eenough for a year; what a country

You're right. Nigerians are actually cowards. Rather than confronting the evil govt destroying their lives, everyone is looking for a shortcut to "making it" - drugs, 419, prostitution, kidnapping, armed robbery, sleeping in churches. Bunch of losers!

I'm happy these @$$holes were caught in 9ja. UK prisons are too comfortable for their crimes. I hope they get the recommended 15yrs. These are the people making life difficult for law-abiding Nigerians out there.

You deal in illegal business & come back to tell us you're a successful businessman, importer & exporter. Mtcheew!

PDP - the congregation of evil people.

Karma is a b1tch sha. LOL

Hahahaha, you see what i'm saying. BTW, DOCUMENTARY & MOVIE are two different things. Get a dictionary.

kandiikane: She's moved on to better things like kandii.

Haha, I'm coming to get her. Watch out!

I hereby vote SWEETLEMON

BTW, SweetLemon, you look like my runaway girlfriend. Zainab A, if you're reading this you know yourself. Please come back to daddy. I'm missing you.

Dee60: I lived in the North of yesteryears and in my opinion, the glory it had has gone. If care is not taken, it will even take longer. I hear the rich ones among them now have their wealth stored in Dubai. May God heal our land.

No wonder Dubai economy is recovering very fast. So much money for the banks to lend out.

Richard Quest, over to you. No be only Greece dey this world.

I've made my point and it's very clear. I guess your argument will be more useful under the thread "How to get a job in Nigeria."

jp philips: i dont need to join issues with you because i may not cope with your ignorance, nevertheless, i didn't say people don't get jobs on merit, if you want to know how it happens i will still teach you.

i am only saying that between p!mping CV and making the right contact for a good job in Nigeria, the ratio is 10:90, the only people that understand this are minds like mine, and i cannot make any sense to you if u don't even have the right mind set.

about the exxon example

Once you know that Exxon as a matter of relevance prioritize akwaibomites, (rem. only sharp dudes have this info not some dull fellows who p!mp Cv's)

then the contact preferably should be a chief from those communities around QIT. it is that simple. if Ebeno royal highness recommends you for a job in QIT, guy, not even Exxon head quarters in Houston texas can stop that recruitment.
do you know why??

because their interest is tied around the Amayanabo. as a smart company, the Amayanabo will even have an employment quoter within QIT and sundry contracts.

now where are you really sending the CV to? to the Amayanabo that can make it happen or to some over fed HRO in Mobil towers lagos who will be preoccupied with punctuations and layout??

the choice is yours anyways.

I thought you were going to say something else. Using connection to get jobs happens everywhere and is not limited to MPN or Akwa Ibom. That the oil multinationals in the Niger Delta have a specific quota (that's the correct spelling BTW) for candidates of ND origin is no secret.
Stop sounding like you know what no one else does.

Except the company is owned by your father, the first step for a job seeker is to have a presentable CV. If you give a rubbish CV to an HR manager, he'll return it to you to go and polish it because that CV will still pass through some other people. The man wouldn't want to be seen as bringing in a mediocre.

The king of Ibeno may get you a job but he'll not come and do the job for you. If you mess up you may lose the job. The king will be asked to present someone else. I hate it when people promote mediocrity in the name of "na naija we dey."

The premise of this thread still stands; have a decent CV. You may get lucky to be helped, but sometimes, it's only your CV that'll push you ahead.

jp philips:
listen young man, what he has to offer is contact and it is enough for any serious organization.
instead of reading how to write a CV, i will rather go trim the rough edges of my socialization, it helps me faster than any CV.
do you know why some people are referred to as oga, while some as chairman?? because oga looks at CV while chairman makes it happen.

what you chose to forget is that every organization has an interest some where, why don't you explore the interest of your would be employer than wasting time on CV's.

why is exxon mobil recruiting mostly akwaibomites for QIT operations? ans; interest.what if you happen to be from Ebeno community with a bad CV? Exxon will gladly give you the job to guarantee their interest first before sending you on a course to learn how to write CVs lol.

the problem is that Nigerians believe fairy tales little wonder pastors make it big.

You've said a lot but you still haven't made the point. Even if you come from Akwa Ibom and you're to be employed by Exxonmobil based on this, the very first step is to have a presentable CV. How hard is that to understand? And don't misrepresent facts here, multinationals won't employ you if you don't have good results. Those companies are audited regularly and it's no joke. My friend, the picture you're painting here is too colorful.

People get employed all over the world based on recommendation and sundry reasons, but you don't just walk into an office empty handed. You still need a resume.

I don't know your industry o, but a lot of people still get jobs in Nigeria based on merit only.

@Jidegirl

You're being too defensive. It's a free world and you can apply whatever you like to your or your kid's hair. Don't try to rubbish that documentary because you can't do without relaxers - that's ridiculous. The info contained in it is scientific info freely available online.

Good info.

To the people who think you don't need a good CV to get a job, I understand you. I'm not even willing to work with any company that only recruits through connections. They'll end up recruiting mostly mediocres like you who cannot get anything done without being spoon-fed by their colleagues every time. It also tells a lot about how things work in such companies.

As scarce as jobs are in Nigeria, some people still carefully choose where to work because they know their worth.

Sad birthday in arrears, @rsehole. I wish u & your cronies the same pain & agony you put ordinary Nigerians through everyday, through your insatiable greed & corrupt ways. And when you eventually die, take all the stolen wealth into the grave. Mtchewww!

Adamsdelrio: Bad belle people! Na me say make u look like oracle? U dey even shame to upload ur picture.... Go hug transformer.

That was a compliment. Clarus was a fine gentleman.

Kslib: Can someone provide the link to download the chris rock documentary on mobile phones...

Don't know about that. It's a full-length documentary (splashed with Rock's usual comedy). If you use Bittorent you'll find it on PirateBay.

More at http://funny9japics..com/

SIENA(for going out of his way to simplify complex car issues for the masses.) Thumbs up man!

Post more details such as the color and year of the car and where it was stolen - you may get lucky. And check with police stations across Lagos. I think they release bulletins on recovered vehicles weekly or bi-weekly. Yes, they do recover a large no of stolen vehicles every week.

To you Fashola sycophants, abeg shut up jare. You cannot love him more than his wife. We all know he's a good administrator. The Lekki road project is seriously fvcked up. He knows this at the back of his mind, he just can't say NO to Tinubu who designed the road project around his personal gain.

The "alternative routes" are a huge joke. If you don't live on the Lekki-Ajah axis, forget it, you can't understand.

jidegirl12: Chris rock my foot .... google his wife and see her hair..... jeezz the guy is making money, so you guys believe all that?

I bet you believe WWE and micheal more documentaries too

What has Chris Rock's wife or your foot got to do with the scientific data provided by univ. Professors in that documentary? Even relaxer manufacturers in that video admitted that the chemicals in them are too strong for kids. Well done, keep consoling yourself.

Would just like to know which channels are most-watched by Nigerians and in what order.

I'm thinking CNN, African Magic, Supersport, AM Yoruba, AlJazeera, Trace/Soundcity would be high up there. These are the channels I mostly see people watching.

Your opinions please.

@Stagger

Listen to yourself. "...is on his way to hell...is a candidate of hell."

What kind of warped thinking is this in 2012? Are you a gate keeper of hell or are now God who tells where people go? Man you should feel ashamed of yourself.

kabaka1: Kudos to this naija lioness. She's such s great inspiration for both women & men 2 & I hope that produces more of her kind in d near future

I'm skeptical of this kind of "hard work" as inspiration for my sister or daughter. We all know how people get oil wells in Nigeria. I wish her well though.

Adamsdelrio: My tribe dey sabi fine.... We no dey wohwoh like dem emmmm....., nevermind. If na lie, check me out na. Up Idomas on Nairaland!!.... Waiting for haterz comments....

You fine tru tru. You resemble Clarus of New Masquerade.

[quote author=nwa-ngeme]in civilised world, people do not waste their time doing spell checks or verifying grammer structure on threads because they feel the person who makes a minor mistake perhaps is a german, chinese or even from iceland and hence not very versed in english but in Nigeria or on nairaland, some i diots wont. they just sit down there,feeling funky with their china-made phone,raining curses on a fellow just because they want cheap credits. If you r.etards are so good with the language how come you dont have phd in it and to know that english is a borrowed language only makes it more annoying.[/quote]Abeg leave story. If you schooled in Nigeria, you have no excuse not to speak/write correct grammar.

Go and watch the documentary GOOD HAIR by Chris Rock.

It'll answer your question perfectly.

I have it, wish I could send it to you.

@OP

When you're ready, you'll tell us how you were hired for this publicity stunt. PDP is a bad product and it's difficult to sell even if you have access to all the nation's resources as PDP currently does. Propaganda can only carry you so far.

The performing PDP govs are a little drop in the ocean and their ostentatious lifestyles (and its attendant waste of public funds, such as the craze for jets) is something people see everyday and cannot ignore. Discerning Nigerians have now come to realize that anyone who has anything to do with PDP is jinxed and no amount of propaganda will change that.

These are the criminals who make up Jonathan's govt. Let's see what comes out of this one.