₦airaland Forum

ayo,what is this?

[quote author=Maria-Goretti]in oda words, i shuld modify ur sh*t? Y not do a beta job wen next u embark on such 'projects'?[/quote]i have donated something to help your cause.....
Read it and make amends where necessary or keep crying about it!!!

Flashaldrin: because its copy and paste, the tilapia cant write shyte even if a gun is pointed on her head. She only knows how to constitute a nuisance of her sef, with her busybody.

yeah..
I recognize your presence!!

DailyNews: Virtually 90% of the reasons most ladies are still single today are captured in this cute amazing write-up. Now slim, I must confess that you won my fanship...you won my respect, my audience my everything besides...lolz....gosh...in fact, this piece ought to be printed and given out to all single ladies out there to use as their daily guide and manual for life. Come on slim, I never knew you were into relationship counseling & all of that...oh well, now I see....happy sunday to you & all the readers!

lol..
Nor be me write am o...
It was a piece i saw,loved and thought it'd be nice to share!
...you are welcome anyways..

richarts: The fault lies in the girls not knowing that u are a retardeen & a psychotic prospect.

lmao!
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Op...the above is your answer!!!

Lol
i get what you trying to say
...maybe you should have just titled this thread..'your partner's annoying habits'
...it doesn't mean you love them less though..it just means you know their imperfections and accept them just like that!
Idowu...relax!

happy birthday sweetie..

[quote author=Maria-Goretti]I wonder y u cnt narrow dat ''project work'' to our lyfstyl. I mean, Naija lyfstyle. Wots all dat? Aniwayz, am nt marid cus am Single......simple.[/quote]narrow it to naija lifestyle yourself...
#no time!#

Acidosis: ^ ^ you 2 need to settle your scores please. . I mean you and slimyem

settle what??
I sabi am...
Dont go funny o...

WebSurfer: Am not used to being rude, but know this, your display doesn't seem like you r an adult.

kiddo..your opinions are not welcome..and this thread is not for you!!!

Acidosis: but you said you're married

yes...
Does being married mean i can't start a thread to sample opinions and incite a discussion??

apocalypse: My eyes are very heavy and I can't think properly , I'll contribute better in the morning when I'm rested well

apocalypse: in between my replies I dozed off a couple of times

no wahala!!

cindyrella: This thing long o! Brb

Sijo01: sumari plz!

babes,please read..
Its worth your time..!

WebSurfer: I'll be the most jobless person to read a story from sickos on NL, deal with ur issues.. Adult.. Perfect woman... Nonsense..

yes..
This thread is not for kids...nor is it for abandoned unkempt monkeys...
Please dissapear!!
Thanks!!

apocalypse: Reasonable enough , I only hope you find happiness in your quest

yeah..
Thanks!!

WebSurfer: saw ur post on slimyen top. She wasn't cool, she got paid back what she deserved

what did you pay..??
Mtcheeeeeeeeeew...
Shiooor!!

[quote author=val_dee]The boy is trying to get his pound of flesh.[/quote]he's only going to get a bowl of stup1d things if he doesnt back off!![quote author=val_dee]What is it with this chick and marriage of late.[/quote]i'm inspired to preach the gospel...

apocalypse: So what happens when you get a man with all these attributes ? Does it guarantee a happy ever after ?

*sighs*
you finally decide to drop a comment...huh?
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I don't believe anything is guaranteed per se in marriage..but that shouldn't stop us from making a choice that'd give a little light of hope..does it??

recycled thread!!

sweetcocoa: Na so to marry dey hungry you reach eh lepa?

Forget that long thing jare,just enter Cele church make them book fasting for your head .

babe...forget story..
Read am...
I just dey get inspiration to preach the gospel for marraige things.
Catch the blessing while you still can!!

MsDarkSkin:

wtf?

babe,read it abeg...
There's actually lots of sense in it...

Acidosis: slimyem, are you married?

yes!

bittyend: ^Is this crap a dissertation, or a coursework?

ask me once more!!

WebSurfer: Slimyen or wareva you cal yourslef, you are jezz so so jabless... kiss my azz

hey kiddo,i see u....
This thread is not for displaying pictures of abandoned unkempt monkeys so please exit!!

everyone knows the right thing to do...
Its either you choose and discipline yourself to do it or not!
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..dey there dey wait for back page...

[quote author=Atheist:-D]What about sex? If you are not ready to have regular sex dont get married too [/quote]yeah..
That should definitely be included..except that some of the points actually take care of that...
If your partner is your focus,stdy and muses,then his/her intimate need wouldn't be an issue!

This is an old,long but sweet piece of writing..for the girls in the house...

Read it patiently...

You want to get married. It's taken a while to admit it. Saying it out loud -- even in your mind -- feels kind of desperate, kind of unfeminist, kind of definitely not you, or at least not any you that you recognize. Because you're hardly like those girls on TLC saying yes to the dress and you would never compete for a man like those poor actress-wannabes on The Bachelor.

You've never dreamt of an aqua-blue ring box.

Then, something happened. Another birthday, maybe. A breakup. Your brother's wedding. His wife-elect asked you to be a bridesmaid, and suddenly there you were, wondering how in hell you came to be 36-years-old, walking down the aisle wearing something halfway decent from J. Crew that you could totally repurpose with a cute pair of boots and a jean jacket. You started to hate the bride -- she was so effing happy -- and for the first time ever you began to have feelings about the fact that you're not married. You never really cared that much before. But suddenly (it was so sudden) you found yourself wondering... Deep, deep breath... Why you're not married.

Well, I know why.

How? It basically comes down to this: I've been married three times. Yes, three. To a very nice MBA at 19; a very nice minister's son at 32 (and pregnant); and at 40, to a very nice liar and cheater who was just like my dad, if my dad had gone to Harvard instead of doing multiple stints in federal prison.

I was, for some reason, born knowing how to get married. Growing up in foster care is a big part of it. The need for security made me look for very specific traits in the men I dated -- traits it turns out lead to marriage a surprisingly high percentage of the time. Without really trying to, I've become a sort of jailhouse lawyer of relationships -- someone who's had to do so much work on her own case that I can now help you with yours.

But I won't lie. The problem is not men, it's you. Sure, there are lame men out there, but they're not really standing in your way. Because the fact is -- if whatever you're doing right now was going to get you married, you'd already have a ring on it. So without further ado, let's look at the top six reasons why you're not married.

1. [b]You're a B1tch.[/b]Here's what I mean by b1tch. I mean you're angry. You probably don't think you're angry. You think you're super smart, or if you've been to a lot of therapy, that you're setting boundaries. But the truth is you're pissed. At your mom. At the military-industrial complex. At Sarah Palin. And it's scaring men off.

The deal is: most men just want to marry someone who is nice to them. I am the mother of a 13-year-old boy, which is like living with the single-cell protozoa version of a husband. Here's what my son wants out of life: macaroni and cheese, a video game, and Kim Kardashian. Have you ever seen Kim Kardashian angry? I didn't think so. You've seen Kim Kardashian smile, wiggle, and make a sex tape. Female anger terrifies men. I know it seems unfair that you have to work around a man's fear and insecurity in order to get married -- but actually, it's perfect, since working around a man's fear and insecurity is big part of what you'll be doing as a wife.

2. You're Shallow.When it comes to choosing a husband, only one thing really, truly matters: character. So it stands to reason that a man's character should be at the top of the list of things you are looking for, right? But if you're not married, I already know it isn't. Because if you were looking for a man of character, you would have found one by now. Men of character are, by definition, willing to commit.

Instead, you are looking for someone tall. Or rich. Or someone who knows what an Eames chair is. Unfortunately, this is not the thinking of a wife. This is the thinking of a teenaged girl. And men of character do not want to marry teenaged girls. Because teenage girls are never happy. And they never feel like cooking, either.

3. You're a Slut.Hooking up with some guy in a hot tub on a rooftop is fine for the ladies of Jersey Shore -- but they're not trying to get married. You are. Which means, unfortunately, that if you're having sssex outside committed relationships, you will have to stop. Why? Because past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin -- it doesn't stay recreational for long.

That's due in part to this thing called oxytocin -- a bonding hormone that is released when a woman a) nurses her baby and b) has an 0rgasm -- that will totally mess up your casual-sex game. It's why you can be f**k-buddying with some dude who isn't even all that great and the next thing you know, you're totally strung out on him. And you have no idea how it happened. Oxytocin, that's how it happened. And since nature can't discriminate between marriage material and Charlie Sheen, you're going to have to start being way more selective than you are right now.

4. You're a Liar.It usually goes something like this: you meet a guy who is cute and likes you, but he's not really available for a relationship. He has some condition that absolutely precludes his availability, like he's married, or he gets around town on a skateboard. Or maybe he just comes right out and says something cryptic and open to interpretation like, "I'm not really available for a relationship right now."

You know if you tell him the truth -- that you're ready for marriage -- he will stop calling. Usually that day. And you don't want that. So you just tell him how perfect this is because you only want to have sssex for fun! You love having fun sex! And you don't want to get in a relationship at all! You swear! About ten minutes later, the oxytocin kicks in. You start wanting more. But you don't tell him that. That's your secret -- just between you and 22,000 of your closest girlfriends. Instead, you hang around, having sssex with him, waiting for him to figure out that he can't live without you. I have news: he will never "figure" this out. He already knows he can live without you just fine. And so do you. Or you wouldn't be lying to him in the first place.


5.[b] You're Selfish.[/b]If you're not married, chances are you think a lot about you. You think about your thighs, your outfits, your naso-labial folds. You think about your career, or if you don't have one, you think about doing yoga teacher training. Sometimes you think about how marrying a wealthy guy -- or at least a guy with a really, really good job -- would solve all your problems. Howevs, a good wife, even a halfway decent one, does not spend most of her day thinking about herself. She has too much s**t to do, especially after having kids. This is why you see a lot of celebrity women getting husbands after they adopt. The kids put the woman on notice: B1tch, hello! It's not all about you anymore! After a year or two of thinking about someone other than herself, suddenly, Brad Pitt or Harrison Ford comes along and decides to significantly other her. Which is also to say -- if what you really want is a baby, go get you one. Your husband will be along shortly. Motherhood has a way of weeding out the lotharios.

6.[b] You're Not Good Enough.[/b]Oh, I don't think that. You do. I can tell because you're not looking for a partner who is your equal. No, you want someone better than you are: better looking, better family, better job.

Here is what you need to know: You are enough right this minute. Period. Not understanding this is a major obstacle to getting married, since women who don't know their own worth make terrible wives. Why? You can fake it for a while, but ultimately you won't love your spouse any better than you love yourself. Smart men know this.

I see this at my son's artsy, progressive school. Of 183 kids, maybe six have moms who are as cute as you're trying to be. They're attractive, sure. They're just not objects. Their husbands (wisely) chose them for their character, not their cup size. Alright, so that's the bad news. The good news is that I believe every woman who wants to can find a great partner. You're just going to need to get rid of the idea that marriage will make you happy. It won't. Once the initial high wears off, you'll just be you, except with twice as much laundry.

Because ultimately, marriage is not about getting something -- it's about giving it. Strangely, men understand this more than we do. Probably because for them marriage involves sacrificing their most treasured possession -- a free-agent pen1s -- and for us, it's the culmination of a princess fantasy so universal, it built Disneyland.

The bottom line is that marriage is just a long-term opportunity to practice loving someone even when they don't deserve it. Because most of the time, your messy, farting, macaroni-and-cheese eating man will not be doing what you want him to. But as you give him love anyway -- because you have made up your mind to transform yourself into a person who is practicing being kind, deep, virtuous, truthful, giving, and most of all, accepting of your own dear self -- you will find that you will experience the very thing you wanted all along:

Love.

sexkillz: [color=#000030]The only reason why those discombobulated "no IQ having" girls flock around you is because you are nothing more to them than a meal ticket. What you are displaying here is pure unadulterated childishness. You may be in your 20's but you act like a teenager. . . A confused teenager who has to be reassured of his looks.

I rate you zero! You look like an abandoned unkempt monkey. . .

Shoot me!
[/color]

sexkillz..i'm not a big fan of yours but tonight..i'm in love with you for the above...
muaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

this is quite long but it makes a lot of sense.
please read!!
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If you’re not ready to delay gratification when your are angry. To hold your tongue, lower your voice and sometimes wait till the appropriate time, day or even month before you can deal with an issue thoroughly…. don’t get married. Immaturity is the inability to delay gratification. Marriage is for the mature.

If you’re not ready to leave center stage and allow someone else to become your focus, your study, your muses… don’t get married. Selfish people make very bad spouses. In marriage you don’t lose yourself but your heart has to be big enough to gain someone else. And soon, with God’s blessing: little, crying, diaper soiling, demanding little ones are coming!

If you are not ready, to stand up and calmly deal with meddling in laws as a united front: The opinionated sister, the insensitive uncle, the domineering father, the manner less brother, the nosy aunt….. don’t get married. Boundaries do not exist automatically, they must be created. A good spouse is committed to respectfully stand up for and protect their marriage from meddling relatives. Don’t abandon your spouse to your relatives. It’s betrayal.

If you are not ready to pay bills…. don’t get married. Love does not pay bills. Kenya power will not give a waiver because your love is O so strong and your gazes at each other, O so romantic.

If you are not ready to let go of your opposite sex “best friends” and invest that into your spouse. To like, to laugh, to play, to be silly and to enjoy life with them, above anyone else… don’t get married. Affairs happen because people did not marry their best friends. Someone else holds their heart. Someone else gets them better. Someone else inspires them more. Marry your best friend and cultivate your friendship so that you remain best friends.

If you are not ready to stop competing with the Joneses…. don’t get married. Let the Joneses buy their yatch when you are still walking, and enjoy the walk. Your journeys are different. They may have to cross the oceans but you may be going through the road route. A boat might not do you any good on your journey. You must be ready to pace yourselves: stop competing, stop spending your future before you get there, stop the debt, stop trying to impress people. You must be able to be content. To enjoy your journey without deciding your happiness simply by measuring your progress against other people.

If you are not ready to be an open book. To tell the whole story of your past, deal with the memories, expose the failures and risk rejection…. don’t get married. It is fraud to have someone sign off their life to you without the full details. The past is a touchy and demanding friend. It always shows up in the marriage. It doesn’t enjoy being ignored and the more you snob, the bolder it becomes and the more tantrums it throws. It will mess up the “neat” and “all together lovely” image that you are struggling to maintain.

If you are not ready to let go of your philandering and wild oats farming…. don’t get married. Don’t take somebody’s son or daughter and subject them to your germs, your indiscretions and your chips fungaz. It never ends well. It’s romanticized in the movies, it’s being fronted as the only “realistic” way to stay married and keep the fire burning. But truth be told, the only thing that the fire will burn will be you, your spouse and your children. That family will burn for generations in bitterness, disease, fear, failure, hatred, broken hearts, broken dreams and conniving.

Finally, if you are not ready to let go of the adrenalin rush ofa risque life and to settle down…. don’t get married. The great Colombus [who we were told "discovered" America, Have you ever wondered if the Native Indians who were in it, knew that it existed :-) ] had a diary that was long sought for. People wanted to read about the wild journeys, the sea tempest, the reckless pirates they fought, the death and the danger they must have encountered. When it was found, there was great disappointment. Majority of the pages simply had 5 words: “This day, we sailed on.”.
I pray this helps someone. Remember singles, YOU HAVE THE PRIVILEGE OF CHOICE. Never let anyone pressure you into marriage. You are either ready or you’re not: You decide!. But please don’t marry somebody and then punish them to live with your childish ways for the rest of their lives :-) . A childish baby is cute but a childish adult is extremely frustrating.

Marriage is for the mature and in many ways, we the married, are still being confronted with the demand to grow up day by day. If you are not ready for that demand, don’t get married!!!!

Barikiweni.- Author Judy Karanja