₦airaland Forum

Ewuro4:
Soooo if I get you right.. African way is the ONLY Right way? My kids for example are only African in their schools, we don't attend Nigerian church, NO SINGLE NIGERIAN in their extra curricular activities(skating/hockeyetc) ... ETC...SO does that mean they'll lack manners and not do well??

I thought you're here to learn from diasporean parents and not attack people's POVs but Seem you have an agenda...Not worth my time abeg. I'll rather watch

Visit a Nigerian church and you will not regret your decision LMAO. My mom came to visit me and wanted to go to a Nigerian church. That poor woman almost worked herself into a stroke that day. She was like does nobody have a cane here? I just told her not to embarrass me. She was giving some serious stink eye to some of the parents. I will not raise my kids in any so called Nigerian way. I will raise them the way my parents raised me with some improvement as expected

SirShymex:
You're a fvcking id.iot. That's the problem with little kids like you who still live with their parents, but think they have an opinion about everything. If you've got reading and comprehension problems, take time out to sort it out, and stop quoting my posts stupidly, like a blinkered simpleton. That's the problem with you silly pseudo-liberal kids who just think everything is about jumping on a bandwagon.

Where in my post did I say people aren't gay, you blockhead? I said people aren't born gay - or have you got scientific proofs, to prove otherwise? It seems you have problems with simple words, and it isn't shocking cos English isn't your first language. I simply explained how there has been an alarming sharp increase in the number of gay in the last decade or two than it has ever been in our existence. Cited an example based on the US prison system where allegedly about 30-40% black male inmates in there engage in homosexuality. And also buttressed my point with my everyday life, before correlating with the post you quoted, about once you do a projection based on that - 20-30 years' time would be scary.

And yes, gay folks right now do harass straight men from time to time. Also, there are cases of straight being rap.ed by gay men out there.

Anyway, next time, don't quote me stupidly with nonsense. You've never been the sharpest tool in the shed, and if you're going to quote me about my opinion, make sure you read and comprehend whatever I posited - before jumping like a headless chicken.

Aww Shymexx got his feelings hurt. I did not realize I had quoted you but then again I should have known. You always talk out of your as5. If a man was gay and was going to rape someone, why would he rape a woman? Do straight rapist rape men or women. Shut your mouth. You talk the way a crab walks. Side to side and never get to a point. Your points are all over the place. Is rape worse when a man rapes a man versus when a man rapes a woman? People are born gay just like people are born straight. There's no way to show scientifically if someone is born gay or if someone is born straight so once again you try to make a point that is not a point. Take your medication Shymexx and please for my sake stop skipping doses.

correctguy0900:
u sound too unreal. so o even if u d only one ur mum has in dis world to take care of her, under close watch if her condition requires it, u would rent one room for her apart to die in loneliness. it could even b a medical requirement dat she b under d close watch of a loved one coz some certain ailments could b exacerbated by loneliness. u would rather leave ur mum to die coz of ur selfishness.

my grand mum stayed in our house till she passed on coz my dad could not leave her lovely mum who became too weak to care for herself to die like dat. though it was difficult for my mum, she had to understand dat it was her fate. it was d choice left

if I am my mum's only choice in dis world to survive, I will do like my dad because it will b wicked not to do so.

Someone who is in physical condition were she cannot take care of herself medically cannot start trouble. So you are on a whole different story line here. People should respect each other. Being old should not be an excuse to be manner-less. In fact you should be the one teaching the younger generation how to carry themselves.

2undexy:
hw can that be done?

Did you seriously ask that question? Okay. Build a house with a fire place and throw your mother in law in the fire



I can't live with a trouble some person. My home is my home. If she comes in and behaves like my mom who recognizes that this is my home then it is all good in the hood. If she wants to come in and cause trouble I would have to make sure I tell her from the beginning. Mama we can live in peace in my home if you want

johncreek:
Hi Nairalanders
A brother of mine needs a serious advice which I know only me can't give so I decide to share this with my E-family so he can be helped.
He is dating a lady from a strict home; they have being dating for 2 years now all against the parent's wish...
This lady is above 25 years old but she doesn't have freedom to do what a grown up should do which is seriously affecting her relationship with my brother.
They can't see each other as please, they can't talk on phone without her being so careful about who is watching her.
This dude is just tired of this kind of life because he wants this relationship to lead to a fruitful marriage.
Is this how he is going to continue or should he throw it all away and move on?

What are some examples of the things "grown up should do"?

drisatasarr:
A 59 yr old Nigerian full time cab driver and part time tutor Mr kelechi was arrested over the weekend in Houston TX, for beating his 32 yr old wife, who sustained a fractured left orbit and concussion. Mr Kelechi was unhappy because his wife who is a registered nurse worked a double shift at a local nursing home and was not home to cook his meals. Ngozi refused to press charges. The police are planning on going ahead with a case against him. They have been called by Ngozi on several occasions for chocking attacks. Why do Nigerian men beat their wives like children and why do the wives continue to protect them?

Oh please. Why is she staying there. This time he gave her a concussion and broke her eye socket and she still stays. She likes it. Two Nigerian men killed their wives in Houston last year. She wants to be the first this year. Leave her alone. She has all the resources in the world to leave this man. She will get housing and other benefits for a while if she decides to up and leave. She chooses not to. Let me worry instead about those poor women in Nigeria who have no one and whose family would even send her back if she goes to them for help.

I hope this does not sound harsh but I find it hard to sympathize with you if you truly moved out because you found out your husband has low sperm count. Moved out 3 times and your family is so familiar with your husbands testicles they probably know how many strands of hair he has on them. You need to grow up

Amya:
This is wrong. very but the worst form of abused is from someone older and trusted. Now that one will scar you for life. I have tons of stories from uncle's, neighbours, Aunty's husband infact 50% of male adults i knew as a kid touched me inappropriately. I kept thinking I caused it somehow, now I know better. I'll do any thing to protect the kids and teens of today because such things messes with your ahead and traumatises you for life. You at a point start to feel like something beneath garbage. Hopefully I did turn out sane eventually. Glory be to God.

Very common in Nigeria. Nigerian males are generally not taught self control.

MMotimo:
I don't know which "diaspora" has formed your views but I can assure you that Social Services do not just show up and/or take drastic action for no reason. Hiding behind discipline, a lot of parents practise parent brutality, subjecting kids to punishment that is inhuman once you loosen your mental shackles and think of it properly. People usually get into trouble with Social services when discipline becomes borderline or actual torture or delivery of gross physical discomfort to the child. There are exceptions but most times, that is the case.

A common example is spanking. I don't have any problem with reasonable spanking, not "flogging" o and not "beating." If that is what your child understands, fine but if that doesn't get through to him/her and you want to turn to brutality, then you deserve all that Social Services has to offer. It is no longer spanking when you descend on a child with weapons like your belt, or you are delivering ten strokes of whatever. If Getting through to the child is taking all that physical toll on you, you need another solution. You have resorted to brutality in order to intimidate and you are simply letting loose your own frustrations. When you administer physical torture and suffering, it is no longer about discipline, you are only fooling yourself.

I have spanked my kids in the past but I can count the number of times because I realized the spanking is just a physical lash out at the child, it is not necessarily about correction. I find that when you spend time getting to know your children, living your own life as an example and deliberately influencing their behavior through your words and actions, backed up with good moral reinforcement, the odds are high that they will receive the values you impart.

So, when it comes to raising the African way, all I can say is that your children's behavior are a reflection of their upbringing and their upbringing directly reflects how you have discharged your duties and obligations to them as a parent. Whether in or outside Africa, these rules hold the same. You do not have to be in a African setting to enjoy the privilege of "rebuking or punishing" a child. Parents outside of Africa rebuke and punish too but parent brutality is not tolerated by the authorities - that is the difference.

Moral decadence happens everywhere, in and out of Africa. When you choose to birth a child, you are signifying a willingness to set that child in the right path. If you have no inclination towards raising a well formed child, you are doing said child a disservice. The problem is people want to have children but not be accountable for raising them properly so it's easier to blame it all on moral decadence and the environment as if the same things are not happening in Africa.

With all that I have seen, I am not convinced that the African way is necessarily the best. Any system that turns out children with the correct value system and who can think beyond themselves is the best IMO.

With regards to "a very low percentage of these children yield positive result" I am curious to know the specifics of this assertion maybe because I know many families raising great kids with a solid value system and with their heads screwed on straight even without parent brutality.

Ooops! I can't believe how much I wrote!

You couldn't have said it better. Some of the things read here coming from Nigerians raised in Nigeria shock the hell out of me.

Why do men keep doing this? Why not pay for your own education instead. It's the silliest investment ever.

She's lucky to be alive

SirShymex:
That wasn't my point. I know homosexuality has been happening since ancient times, and in ancient Greece, it was like pederasty, which was more of a class thing, with males of higher status - smashing males of lower status, to show how dominant they're (talked about this extensively in the past). However, since the existence of humanity, homosexuality has never been widely spread, as it's today - so you've to be scared. These days, everywhere you turn, there's always an homoerotic person. Evidently, you've to start asking questions.

Now, let's go back to the 80s, when homosexuality started becoming cool, in the modern era - and fast-forward it to now. And tell me that, with the way this lifestyle keeps taking over everything, in the next 20-30 years, homoerotic men wouldn't be walking down these streets chirpsing/harassing straight men. We'll get to that phase soon, and that's going to be very troubling. There are already cases everywhere of gay men raping straight men, and that's an unacceptable behaviour. Someone has to put a lid on this nonsense before these folks make straight men vulnerable, since we're following the natural order of biological existence. The homosexuals are coming, and you've to be very worried.

The funniest thing most folks don't even know is that: a lot of the most powerful folks in the world are either bisexual or homos. And they're the ones pushing this agenda, and the way the number of folks who're gays keep growing at an alarming rate defies logic - since no one is/was born gay. They're about to turn straight men into endangered species.

Also, I honestly don't get the nonsense about "live and let's live" when homos are like the new hyper sensitive Jews and the nauseating way of applying anti-semitism to everything - with useless talks of calling folks who don't agree with their lifestyle as homophobes/homophobic. If it's a free-world, then folks should be allowed to disagree with their lifestyle, just the same way they have a problem with the natural order of human existence. These folks need to shut their gobs, and focus on being booty bandits. Regardless, we need to be scared cos these folks are about to start dominating straight men.

You sound so ignorant. What makes you think that just because someone is gay they just walk the streets looking for someone to harass. Do normal straight men do that? Why would you conclude that gay men do or will do that. Talking a lot but saying nothing. If you truly believe that people are not gay then volunteer your sister or daughter to an openly gay man. I am sure that the sight of a vagina will cure him of the illness you think he has.

May all the people who put pressure on gay people to turn straight marry closeted gay men. Say amen for yourselves and children.

UNIBENDON:
A.shawomhole(Oshiomhole has been informed that no one has monopoly of violence and lawlessness.He is aware that UNIBEN has educated 'r.ebels' that can hold him hostage & make him regret his actions & inactions.F.uck Osh.iomhole and his m.oronic thugs(Kabaka & others).

And how have you held him hostage?? The joke is on you. Focus on the education that I am sure people have worked very hard to give you. You people are the ones acting like thugs and trying to burn down my city. You want to live in a civilized society but you do not want to follow the law.

iykbethany:
Dear Nairalanders, happy new year to all of you. May God answer all our prayers this year and grant us all our heart desires in jesus name- Amen.

I will go straight to the point.
Today I got a call from someone in Lagos claiming he works with first bank. He called me by my family name and said a certain guy wrongfully transferred 10,000 naira into my first bank account and that i should withdraw the money and transfer it to a Union bank account he gave me. He said I can go to my branch and check my bank statement to confirm that 10k was actually transferred to my account.

I have no problem transferring this money to the account that was given to me, but I am wondering how can first bank transfer money to a wrong account when our account names are not similar in any way. is this a scam? I suspect this people and their motive.

I want to know if I should withdraw this money and send to the guy in lagos or what do i do? I dont want any wahala. I hear some bank staff can use your account without your consent, so i fear someone in first bank might have stolen money from someones account. has anyone here faced similar situation? I need urgent advise because the guy says I should send the money to them tomorrow. WHAT DO I DO?

Moderators, if this is not the right place pls move this topic to the right section, and if possible you can move it to front page as I want as much advise as possible. Thank you

Read the update. You did the right thing

dapachez:
Updates
The governor had a media chat this afternoon and what you guys will read in the papers tomorrow will wow a lot of people. I am still in shock cos it seems uniben authorities have made a wrong move in the game of chess that just started. Am sad that some security men at a particular bank in uniben campus were fired for allowing the students into the banking hall yesterday when the students leds by the SuG president went on rampage going into the nine banks in the school compound after closing hours(4pm). Now am wondering if Oshiomole own the banks( the students alleged that they wanted to remove the pictures of oshiomole in the banking halls.
Now the security men were sacked and the students got wind of it and came back to vandalise the bank. I just hope tomorrow won't be a continuation of this crisis

Stupid students. They are being hailed by people all over this thread. They do things like this and innocent people suffer. Uniben should have handled this a long time ago. They knew that the property belonged to the state but for some reason thought the best option was to take it to court and waste money that should have been put to better used on lawyers and court costs. Now innocent people are left with no place to live and empty headed students have caused even more suffering for these poor bread winners

I can't believe that no family member stepped in to feed the child. I pray for strength for her. Seems like she has no support from her family

zeb04:
Cynthia's reply was so ghetto and childish.

Don't know who she is but she sure sounds like she bathes in gutter water. There are a million other ways she could have addressed it. I mean did this Ure lady assault her or something?

They should arrest these thugs. They simply should not let them go free.

I have such an issue with Nigeria journalism that it gives me a headache sometimes. How does a professional who understands and writes in the English language describe the R4PE of a child as "taking her virginity". That is almost worse than the freaking rape. Dumb ass NAIRALAND also carries on the bleeping ignorant culture of downplaying R4PE by not even letting the word be written here. Foolishness. You people should line yourselves up for a round of slaps. In fact just slap each other.

Sorry I cannot relate I have one brother and he gets to eat all kinds of food when all his sisters are around but when he comes to visit I can confidently say that I can cross my legs and he will cook up a storm and I eat and leave the dishes for him. When my dad is around he also cooks. Mostly the foofoo because he says I don't know how to make it LOL. When you get tired of cooking for them you will stop. When they get hungry enough they'll carry their spoiled, entitled asses into the kitchen and fend for themselves.

Ologunjude:
The percentage of cheating husband to wives is closing. I know married men sleeping with other married women and finding it hard to sleep with their own wives. Sex in marriages is so important. Men with 4 or more wives can't satisfy all the women and so they are forced to look outside. I have been approached severally by married women. One rich one in Lekki even offered me 2million naira and said I could repay her anytime. I turned it down cos am not doing badly at all. Makes half of that every month. It a crazy world out there. God help us all with our various decisions.

The world has gone mad

Yeah. She should take to muttering. It shows humility. SMH

What problems could she be going through that a non existent father caused her? She has called her mother a liar based on what people told her. She has no other basis for her nonsense but that. The man who raised her never told her that she did not belong to him but she is willing to believe anything now because she has hot a rough patch in life. Tell your friend to go work out her own life and stop looking for excuses for not fixing her problem.

phantonce:
This just confirm the saying that the rich keeps getting richer while the poor keeps getting poorer.

It is the same in every country. The problem with Nigeria is that the wealth is locked down with a very few and the gap between the poor and rich is just a tragedy. But things will get better as soon as people start realizing that they have a responsibility to Nigeria as much as Nigeria has a responsibility to them. It is our duty to vote

FrancisTony:
Sex! Sex!!! Sex!!!

This shìt is OVERATED.

It's not just the sex. It's the intimacy that comes with it. Not screwing your wife is a sin

Rosarie:
u re too harsh.

In this case I take it as a compliment so thank you. When he has driven her mad in a few years with his mental abuse you can clap for him

Your husband needs to go back to nursery school. He is not mature enough for a date much less marriage. I have a feeling he knows you get anxious about every little thing and so he is using it to his advantage because quite frankly you sound like someone who is easily confused. His behavior is bully-ish. He is humiliating you publicly and you are finding ways to fix yourself rather than focus on why your husband is being cruel. You should have told him if your sister was visiting if that is your agreement with him but to carry it to social media shows that he is a ------- . Honestly I cannot say just how little I think of him. He is your husband after all. I just could never wish a man like that on anyone I love.

dominique:
Regardless of your age, you must not allow anybody intimidate you. Even if you you did not spend the entire money on fuel, N1000 is not too much to overlook for her husband's brother. She's just being silly and petty. What is her husband saying about how she treats you?

That would make him a liar and a thief. Bad advice. Even N1 should not be taken from someone under false pretense


@OP She was obviously disrespectful but she's simply suffering from what many Nigerians suffer from. The sickness were they believe that as long as the person is older than you then they must be right. Don't quarrel with anyone but use this as motivation to do what it takes to leave their house and be independent. You sound like a respectful person from your post. Don't let anyone drag you down to their level.

How can you be taken seriously when you jump parties simply because the current candidates of the other party seem more like able to you. I couldn't vote for this woman. Get real. Be the change you want to see in your party rather than jumping ship simply because things don't seem right to you

Congratulations

cococandy:
If I'm not mistaken it is the other guy who drinks too much.

You're right. I thought her ex was the baby's dad. She needs to drop the heavy drinker. People who use drinking as a coping mechanism do not fare well in tough life situations. I agree with your earlier post . He seems to be the better option. She shouldn't get pregnant again till he puts a ring on it