₦airaland Forum

I'm confused as to why Carefree is being ganged up on. I disagree with the idea that the OP having a child should be justification in any way for what the man did to her but did Ewuro not say the exact same thing as Carefree?

CyrusXandria:
To the 198 people that donated those likes to this poster,I wonder what you'll do to your family members when you find out the person is gay.

They'll kill their own family member. I don't think you understand how tribalist, homopobic and generally bigoted Nigerians can be. A gay poster contemplating suicide told his story here about some thugs in the neighborhood who came to his home to yank him out and assault him. While his mother was begging for her son and another brother stood up against the thugs, the other brother simply walked away. So that's your answer. They would even walk away and leave their brother who his own mother carried in the same womb as he to be killed by an angry mob

Lilaex:
Ok o!
1_how can day say their vows?
2_how will the deaf groom know when to kiss the bride?
3_how will their children survive(I mean since they can't hear them cry).
To mention but a few not like am against them but they better have enough money because they really need by the minute Help in that family if they are going to raise children.
BEST OF LUCK TO THEM

If their parents reasoned like you and saw only obstacles they would not even have given their children an education. They focused on the abilities and not the disability. That's how you get far in life. Not by looking at the glass as half empty

Beautiful story

Truckpusher:
It doesn't work that way.

That little technology actually helped children that were having constipation and it does work perfectly . That piece of equipment was available to Nigerians in the early and late 80s, though I have no idea if they are still using it these days.

You can still buy enemas today but they are usually disposable. The one in the picture is not disposable. I am almost sure that not every person in the family had their own designated enema. Over using enemas could actual have serious consequences. It might seem like just putting fluids in the rectum to force out waste but it can have deadly consequences especially for little kids

Miami11:
I wish my husband's family were appreciative of his help, in a family of 21 kids two wives he is the fifteenth kid not the eldest. He has brought two siblings to US. His older brother has 12 kids with no job and my husband took over the education of one of his kids his wife refused family planning so am afraid he will pick the responsibility for this family. I don't mind helping but some is too much for our family.
when his mother visited as he complained about another older brother that is a teacher pursuing bachelors degree that he needed help.ain't this too much burden on as.

Maybe you need to make an appointment with a financial planner. They can show your husband were he could be in 40 years if he keeps being so irresponsible. Does he really think half those people will run to his aid or even your children should he hit hard times with no financial cushion. Nigeria is full of stories of men like your father who die old in poverty while all the family members they put through school have excelled in life and doing their own thing.

Her husband probably is one of those men that insists on marrying a virgin. What the hell did he expect? Since she has no previous sexual experience she can only be as good as what her husband introduces her to. I am sure when she told him that she does not believe in MouthAction his head got bigger than a house because he was happy to be marrying a woman who had no sexual experience. Now he wants her to be Jenna Jameson.

Only God knows how many diseases were spread doing this. Definitely not healthy

Muyogoa:
I'm sure i'm not alone. Many men loves this part of women but not me. I mean the boobs and buttocks of ladies. Infact, there is a thread on nairaland of ladies with big boobs and buttocks. Many pic of ladies with big boobs and buttocks were uploaded their and many guys were 'mad' at those pics but non of these picture move me an inch. Even in real life boobs and buttocks is not part of my sexual life. I sometimes jealous guys who find this part fascinating. There are other weird non sexual part i find very attractive but not boobs and buttocks (no matter how big it is). I often shake my head in pity when some ladies try to seduce me with this part. As my thing can never pick signal to it. Are there guys like me here? Am i normal?

You are perfectly normal

Nonsense. What charges are they bringing against the girl and her boyfriend. What proof do they have that in seeing the boy he died? Even if he died on seeing the boy How is that a crime?

LMAO. Very unstable people in nairaland

jmoore:
una don start abi?
Is Aisha the only wife of Buhari? Give the names of other wives of Buhari, their cvs, photos for a balanced comparism

I believe she is. He was married to another woman but they are legally divorced and have been for years. She was his wife when he was president. He divorced her after he got out of jail. Rumor is that it was partly because she was fraternizing with people he did not approve off politically

Mayflowa:
Nor go let this woman kill our naija guy. Make una use style advise her

You say this because you do not know what this women go through. Imagine if this was your sister. I know one who let the man drive her insane. They prey on these women. What grieves me the most is when they get these women pregnant when they know that they are not there to stay. Why not be a man and tell the truth. Someone might help you out. I feel no sympathy for them. They deserve what they get. It's like you think the woman whose life's course has been totally rerouted is not worth anything. He has left her as another black baby mama because that's how she will be labelled. She will have to work hard the rest of her life to prove that she is not just another chick who let a man carelessly knock her up. Let him get a taste of his own medicine

For me, it's simple. A'int nobody touching my baby. I don't care if you had 12 babies of your own and pulled them all out of your body with your very own hands all by yourself in the jungle while single handedly hunting a water buffalo and cooking food for your family of 15. Makes absolutely no difference to me. If I even detect a hint of any of this archaic tendencies it is over.

josh001:
like that was the question right? dunno why some people act so much in an high handed manner, that someone is chaste and conscious of her morals is something appluadable, thumbs up lady, no matter how old you are, tis good you aint ready to let any man touch you anyhow, and see, guys are deceptive, dont let the guy much space, he knows how you were before approaching you.

It is a very reasonable question because someone who is mature enough to be in a relationship should at least know if the man she has been dating for so long is capable of raping her. It's one thing to say I don't trust that he would not ask me to go beyond what I'm comfortable with. Since they have not had sex this whole time she should at least be able to vouch for this young mans good character. If she is still confused then she just might not be mature enough for the relationship

This is key. When men are forced into the closet they end up having risky sex. Rather than be in an open monogamous relationship, they are forced to find sexual partners secretly even to the point of patronizing gay prostitutes. This is why I always say that all those people pushing gay people into the closet should be the ones marrying closeted gay people. These men will end up marrying women because they are being forced to. I am not sure how people actually think that forcing people back in the closet is good for society. Foolishness

Nigeria go survive. I don't think this picture was taken in Nigeria though and it was taken before Boko Haram. I believe it was a gas explosion in another African country. Still as a result of bad governance in Africa

SirShymex:
Lol, you must think you're one of the Iron Hands from the X Legion, to think you can castrate me with ya bare hands. Darn! You wanna castrate a physical specimen, yes?

Nah, the only thing that will happen is you singing "say my name...say my name" like Destiny's Child when it's going down.

Anyway, you know I've got love for you - so stop trying to attack me whenever you don't agree with me. Shiit, we can always disagree - but just know I'm a real guy and I don't like bending over for chics.

The fact that you keep coming for more when I get more aggressive tells me that you are probably the type of man that likes to be spanked in the bedroom Most men will run when a woman threatens to castrate them but not Shymexx. You are so transparent.

freecocoa:
I can't take it anymore, feck you all round mutter, you are just so stup1d it's annoying, like what is inside your brain box for crying out loud? You are disgusting, tufiakwa gi.

I don't mean to be wicked but I am glad I am not suffering alone . Her post usually activates heart burn

SirShymex:
Nah, bring ya bubble butt here, that's what I wanna hump.

You sure have a big mouth - you must be Igbo, alie?

If you so much as position yourself as if you are going to hump any part of me, I will castrate you with my bare hands

SirShymex:
At least you paid attention to details with this one, and posted something sensible. You need to start doing that more often, especially when you're quoting my posts.

I cosign this one.

Go hump a couch

I don't understand Nigeria. People simply stood around and watched her husband beat her up and strip her naked and then jumped in after she passed out.

crackhaus:
It's not wrong to put away dirty dishes when you visit someone, neither is it a sign of proper upbringing if you do (I see that sentiment being thrown around here).

It's quite simple really - you visit your friend, his wife serves you a plate of food (on the dining table probably), then you finish having your meal but instead of heading back to the sitting area, you pick up the plate and head into the kitchen.

Please tell me you're seeing the problem here...

It's either you're much too comfortable in that house, or you overestimate the kind of friendship you have with your friend and his wife.

Now imagine you are not the only visitor, and they all finish their meal (served by the hostess of course) and make their way to the kitchen - each and everyone of them...
Would you understand your friend's POV better now?


My only grouse with your friend is in the way he voiced his displeasure by sending a message.
Usually it happens that when you're in the process of returning the used dish(es) to the kitchen, a normal friend would ask you politely then and there not to bother but to come join him in the sitting room/continue your conversation if you both were having one.

You answered the question with the emboldened part. Of course his friend did not address it there because he does not want his wife to hear it. It would be better if his wife simply thought that his friend stopped doing it for whatever reason her husband gives her.
@OP do as your friend wishes. He obviously does not want to give his wife the impression that there are men who can actually take dishes into the kitchen after they eat from it

cococandy:
Move away from that area as soon as you can when you can.
But for now,hang in there and try to love yourself because I understand how that kind of humiliation from holier-than-thou folks can make you feel worthless.
Self pity won't help you.

All in all I thank God for your life. You would most certainly be dead now if you had gone to meet that guy with hopes that he's into you.
Painfully many who heard of your death would have said you deserved it.
That's how hateful the holy people trying to 'deliver' you are.

Be extra vigilant henceforth and try find things to keep you occupied to steer your thoughts from suicide.

True. He is not safe there. You need to move and say bye to that neighborhood. The people who came to your home actually committed a crime. It's time you stand on your own two feet. Your brother who stood up for you is probably the only one you should give your contact info to. If you can I suggest you have your brother who is sympathetic to file a case with the police. You might be able to use this as grounds to secure a way out of the country. If you are effeminate then you will never be totally safe in Nigeria. Good luck. I'll keep you in my prayers

carefreewannabe:
Please someone explain to me how it is possible to ra*pe a man.

It is possible. Just like it is possible for a woman to get an orgasm from a rape. He might not want to sleep with her but if he is restrained and he finds her attractive and his body reacts physically to seeing an attractive woman she can definitely use him until he ejaculates. It was still against his will.

He married her. I'm sorry. Focus on the baby. I know it seems like your world is falling apart right now but you will be okay. He does not deserve your love and sacrifice. Please do not let him use you to complete his papers and then bring this woman over who possibly knows about you too but is okay with it because you are her ticket to America. You deserve better

striktlymi:
I am sure if I call my parents this minute and just say: "I love you folks", they would be very worried and probably call on their parish priest to say a prayer for me because I may just be going nuts.

I was shocked to the realization that since I was born I have never for once thought of saying the "L" word to my folks and siblings, let alone putting the thought to words. This is not saying that I do not love them nor does it imply that they do not see that I do.

Far from it, I do love them and they see it in my actions but the challenge comes when I am asked to voice it to them. I believe firmly that saying "I love you" to them is the right thing to do but it is just so difficult.

I am quite sure that the difficulty has a lot to do with the way I and my siblings were brought up. We never got around saying "I love you" to each other. The closest we got to using the "L" word in the family was when we pray and recite the "Jesus I love you..." prayer etc.

As a grown man, I find it strange that an individual would bring up his family devoid of a phrase so simple. It matters not if they show each other love....I believe that phrase should be used in the family multiple times daily as it helps with the bonding process.

Why don't you say it one day and see their reaction. They'll probably say God bless you If you have kids make sure that they always say I love you to them at the end of every phone call. Grand kids always make grand parents look at the world differently

EfemenaXY:
Well said.

I'm surprised this needs to spelt out in so much detail for people to understand why this is a no-no. Anyway, I agree with everything you say apart from the bolded.

For women her age with that much kids, going on the pill isn't advisable as the risks include getting cancer / fibroids...not sure which one. But you are spot on about the need for her to get some sort of birth control fitted as soon as she's birthed this kid.

In Nigeria you can walk into any government hospital and get an IUD. No excuse for this nonsense

Does it really get that cold during harmattan? I don't remember it being that cold

VickyyB:
Who told you the man denies that lady sex?
Probably, the lady in question, is a sex freak unlike the man and she's failing to adapt.

Did your eyes skip the part were she says her husband wants sex only once or twice a month?? If you are only giving your own husband sex once or twice a month my suggestion to you would be to log off nairaland and go climb your husband rme

You need to let your husband know that a woman is at her sexual prime in her 30's. He needs to change that mindset. Having said that, there are people who are just not into sex. It might be that he simply does not have a sex drive. Maybe next time he gets ready to go to work just follow him outside and start humping his car LMAO. He might see how sexually frustrated you are. There's also the option of toys. He might decide to take care of his responsibility when he sees that sex is very important for you. I can't imagine a sexless marriage and I have to give it to people who have to stay in sexless marriages. It takes the grace of God to deal with it

I will read up on her. I like what I have read so far