₦airaland Forum

Negroid001:
What if you were not sexually compatible?
Were you a virgin?

In my opinion, there is nothing like sexual incompatibility for adults who have no medical /health issues. Fornication does not confirm sexual compatibility,it's a mindset thing.
Men will say they are testing sexual compatibility by sampling different ladies ,then turn around to shame ladies for having high body count.Lol

Secondly, I wasn't a virgin. Despite, maintaining sexual purity all through my teenage years till early adulthood,I lost my virginity in my final year in university in a painful and heartbreaking manner. It took a great toll on me and I had to see a psychologist.

Thankfully,I was able to overcome the bitter experience and graduated.

I met a lot of guys who didn't agree to "No sex, No spending" and after few weeks of talking / hanging out (which I always paid my bills to avoid them feeling entitled to sleep with me),the friendship will die a natural death...and I will move on quickly...No tears,you no waste my time,you no chop me.

marlow1962:
Is 8 months not too soon to date and get married. I feel a year and half or 2 (max 3 years) is okay.
So many ladies can be on pretence mode for that 8 months or 1 year.

6 months is more than enough to date and marry for someone who wants to marry.

It's different from people who want boyfriends and girlfriends.Those ones can go on with their 5-10 years or more relationship,studying their partners like undergraduate and master's degree combined.

Good luck to them

Julibet:
I'm surprised you were not angry with his clap back because once a man says no spending, ladies immediately blackmail them and say 'if you love someone, you'll want to take care of the person'

Why should I be angry?
I had met guys who didn't agree to "no sex" even when I accepted they should not spend on me.
Finding someone who agreed to my condition was perfect.
I was working and spending on myself.
I didn't just want to be passed around in the name of relationship.

IamAsiri:
Na broke people you fit use that one scare.

And greedy ladies who are not contented.
When I met my now husband, I told him NO SEX and he said NO SPENDING.
Perfect!
We maintained it like that.

We got married 8 months later.

stan4b:
If no sex before marriage, then no spending or billing of any kind before marriage. Case closed.

That was what me and my husband practised.
We dated for 8 months.No sex, no spending.

It's greedy and broke ladies that can't agree to no spending.
I was working and contended.

We have 3 children now

bukiah:
Your decision is good. God has forgiven you..but you are old.enough to marry. Pray, look.for a reasonable girl and marry her. Age is no longer on your side

What do you mean age is no longer on his side?
He is a man, not a woman.
He is just 36.
At 70,he can still marry a 20 year old lady and impregnate her.
Man is always the prize.
Men don't age

goran3310:
Marriage is not a guarantee of absolutely anything.
And freedom is a very relative thing.
My girlfriend is taken not because she’s married to another man, but because she’s in a relationship with me.

"Taken" does not mean "Married".
Your girlfriend is still single.

[quote author=zoomzoom post=139148410][/quote]Sorry ooh.
At least, I don't have to go on strike here begging government for months to do the needful.
Again, nothing really concerns me with Nigerian elections.. Between, who is Governor Amuneke?

Daguccizgreat:
Once of the zone b elements around talking trash. Peter is a thousand times better than your druggie president whom you support

I don't know about that.
I don't support any politician.

PO is not a saint.
Doctors in Anambra state went on strike for 13 months when PO was Governor.

Nothing concerns me with Nigeria elections

Very true.

I remember on my introduction day, an aunt asked me "where does your husband live?"
I replied "I am not yet married oh. I'm still single". Everybody including him laughed.

I get really surprised when I see /hear unmarried people say they are not single simply because they are in a relationship.

OpSystem:
Women can hold body more than men, yet your folks videos are rampant on the internet masturbating with with the likes of fingers, cucumber 🥒, carrots 🥕, and various sizes of s*x toys.

intimacy gadgets, you typed.. Why can't men also use intimacy gadgets instead of resorting to rap.e?

UnknownQueen:
Very good, this one can brag himself to jail where assorted beans and dodo plenty well well

This is Nigeria, he may not even go to jail or can reduce his term.

UnknownQueen:
Why is it hard for a man to hold body unlike the women folks

Why why why

Because se. X is always a trophy for them, something to brag about.
Se. X is the only way a man can humiliate a woman.

Se. X is always a trophy for men

They brag about sleeping with married women.. all the time

helinues:
What can other countries buy currently with their highest denomination

See, you opposition should stop this hatred arguments with no meaning.

The global war that have been going on for years is it only Nigeria that's affected?

Average daily minimum wage in Ghana is 21GHC but barbing alone on average saloon is 50GHC. Average restaurant with decent meal, you will have 150GHC

£50 is the highest denomination in the UK.

£50 can buy about 45L of petrol
My husband and our 2 sons can have their hair cut for £50
£50 can feed a single person for up to 1 week
£50 can buy new clothes and shoes
£50 can cover a decent outing.
£50 can do a lot.

I really wonder how Nigerians are surviving.

It's pathetic

The boy looks too smooth and round for a footballer.
Reminds me of Eden Hazard.

Engineerfavour:
She did not make it,but the baby did.
I don't think any woman can replace her in my heart forever

Wife is not your family member .
Wife is very replaceable and can be duplicated.
The most important thing is your baby.
So rest and stop sounding emotional.
Makes you a weak man

Engineerfavour:
My condolences to her husband and family,what I went through because of my wife I will never wish my enemy
She was in coma for 1 month,I spent more than 10 million naira,but I thank God for everything today 🤲🤲

What's husband's loss in this? Wife is not family.
Her demise is a loss to herself , her parents , siblings and most importantly, the innocent babies who have entered this wicked world without a mother.

Husband will remarry ASAP and move on.

A doctor undergoing specialist training in obstetrics dying from obstetrics complications.. in her own very field, in her work place surrounded by her seniors.
Such irony!
She had saved many ,e reach her turn--Disaster!

Why vaginal delivery for triplets?

Immediately I found out I was pregnant with twins, I knew I was going to have an elective CS.
This is so sad , honestly

Wotowotoman:
If you are not hit on by men, it means you are not attractive. Not just unattractive but below average, because even average women get hit on everyday. This is sad but the simple truth

Yes, I am not attractive.
Let me not be attractive.
I enjoy(ed) not being sexually harassed by men and I do not dress or give men the opportunity to hit on me even when I was single,how much more as a married woman?

My husband is the second man I ever dated and he married me within 8 months.
When we met(he was a senior colleague),he asked some of my male classmates about me..and he was told "If you want to sleep with her,she won't agree.It won't work but if you want to marry her,go ahead."

Let attractive women continue to be hit by men.

That's their business.They have strength.

After my first baby, I visited the gym for about 3 months. I joined a group of women who exercised mostly by dancing.
No man approached me ,I didn't approach any man.
I'm very surprised to read that the married women go to gym to bleep.
I have ALWAYS been of the school of thought that men cannot make advances at a woman or flirt with her except she gives them the chance to.Only the thing you allow and tolerate happen.

The only time I remember a man tried such nonsense with me was a patient's relative who sent me his nude picture one night.The idiot wasn't even smart enough to cover his face.
By the time I was done dragging him,he saw his life flash before his eyes like a movie.

Even if they swear for him,he will avoid married women for long ,if not for the rest of his life.

For me, infidelity only occurs in marriage.
And why should anyone date for 8 years?

Bahamas95:
I don't agree with you at all!

Society also label and call men all sort of names when they get to certain age and still unmarried.


* If he's struggling they would mock him that he isn't capable of taking care of himself and he's talking about marriage.


* If he's doing well financially and decides to stay unmarried they'll say he's a ritualist.




Etc

Which society mocks men for not getting married and at what age?

IntelLord:
Social media is vastly different from reality. I have observed that the loud opinions of those "braggers on social media" don't tend to reflect the opinions of the vast majority.

A lot of men don't appear to hold that belief of "nothing to benefit" from marriage. Just some misinformed noisemakers who are not or have never been married. That they shout it daily doesn't mean that the tens of millions of men in real life share the same line of thought.

Surprises me when I see/hear men getting married despite all the bragging on social media.
I have a cousin who is 44 this year, never been married, no children. I honestly thought it was his choice , maybe he was upholding the belief that men have nothing to benefit from marriage. I was surprised when he opened up to me, on how women have disappointed him and right now, he is literally begging a single mother of 2 to marry him but the lady isn't even taking him serious.

onuman:
The no birthday gift to you is the most heartbreaking of the story.
Talk to her and tell her your feelings and see how she responds. Then you know what is good for you.

When I was dating my husband, he never gave me any gift even on my birthday or spent money directly or indirectly on me even when we hang out.. and vice versa.
Everything depends on individuals and understanding.

Flesh10:
Some times are like that. I don't know about others but I had a similar situation with my then girlfriend who is now my wife.

We dated for 8yrs and in the first 6yrs of the relationship I didn't receive anything whether gift or money from her. It was on the 6th year that I received a clothe gift from her which I couldn't even wear because it looked somehow and I told her I wasn't going to wear it because I didn't like it and it was those cheap common shirt they spread everywhere for 3k. So she gave it to her brother.

The following year she got me boxers of 5k which I found funny but accepted.

But the thing there is that she was a good girl, a good manager from a good home who just didn't know how to buy gift or spend money. I even saw that to herself she didn't buy expensive stuffs, she was just ok so long as she looks good, she doesn't mind the cost or quality and she is terrible at surprises.

I looked beyond that and also the fact that whatever you give her she is contented, manages and doesn't even make demands.

On our wedding I spent over 4m all from my pocket without any direct support from her or her people. Even my people didn't even support me but I did it anyways and didn't complain. I looked at where I was coming from sef and where she is coming from, e no really dey and she wasn't working so it's unrealistic to ask her to support anything.

After we got married and she secured a job, the same lady has changed, not drastically but in a good noticeable way. I notice sometimes things finish in the house and she replaces them before I notice.

Yesterday I saw that she bought some foodstuffs in the house without asking me. Sometimes she cooks from her pocket and buys clothes for the kids.

I pay the bills and provide everything we need without asking for support, her salary I don't even look at it. Let her save and have money for herself but she goes the extra mile to ease alot of my burdens when things are needed in the house and I haven't noticed.

The only time she asks is when maybe she is broke but so long as she still has money, she may not even make requests and will just quietly do it or manages whatever I have to provide.


That's why I said, some people are like that. Just look at the family your woman is coming from sometimes how the mother is and also check her overall behaviour if they complement the one that scares you. You cannot have 100/100 sometimes 80 is enough

Very matured take.
But in this case, the op doesn't want to marry the girl.
He is using this as excuse to dump her now.

osuofia2:
44 as how na, Make nna de take this football age of a thing jeje biko

She actually looks good for 44.
A lot of young ladies under 30 already look worn out and older than her

correctguy101:
True.

It's just that most victims allow themselves to be discouraged in pushing for trials.

There's one case my elder sister once spoke about. Where she does business, there's one animal that molests younger boys. According to her, when the animal was taken to the police station, the police men recognized him and simply exclaimed... "You again? "

That was all, he was billed 500k, and after haggling paid a bit less and released again.

People will criticize me for recommending capital punishment later.

Typical.
The police will just collect money and close the case.

CYBERWEAVER:
I am currently planning to get married. I’ve been with my babe for about a year now.

After several consultations, we agreed on a wedding budget of about 3 million Naira.

But I keep asking myself one very honest question: how do I commit that kind of money to someone who hasn’t really shown the same level of effort back, even in something as small as 5k, despite earning a little?


Asin, I never smell her 5k since we started dating.


At this point, it’s not even about the money anymore. It’s about intention, balance, and simple acts of kindness.

Even on my birthday, I didn’t receive a gift from her, and that stayed with me more than I expected.

I’ve never had to deliberately test her money, because genuine care and small acts of giving usually show themselves naturally over time.

To be clear, I’ve been carrying most of the financial weight in this relationship, and there’s hardly anything tangible she has ever done for herself without at least my 50% contribution since we met.

I don’t complain, but I also don’t want to ignore what I’m seeing.

As a responsible man, I’m trying to be honest with myself before I take a step I can’t easily undo.

So I want to ask people who are married or have real experience: if I go ahead and marry in a relationship where this is the current dynamic, what should I realistically expect in marriage?

I’m not trying to assume the worst, but I also believe experience speaks louder than hope.

So despite all the bragging on social media, men are still planning on getting married.
This one wants to spend 3 million naira for the same marriage that they claim they do not have anything to benefit from.
Unbelievable!

I won't bother to get married.

Will do IVF with donor sperm and have 2 daughters.. Face front!