₦airaland Forum

CYBERWEAVER:
I am currently planning to get married. I’ve been with my babe for about a year now.

After several consultations, we agreed on a wedding budget of about 3 million Naira.

But I keep asking myself one very honest question: how do I commit that kind of money to someone who hasn’t really shown the same level of effort back, even in something as small as 5k, despite earning a little?


Asin, I never smell her 5k since we started dating.


At this point, it’s not even about the money anymore. It’s about intention, balance, and simple acts of kindness.

Even on my birthday, I didn’t receive a gift from her, and that stayed with me more than I expected.

I’ve never had to deliberately test her money, because genuine care and small acts of giving usually show themselves naturally over time.

To be clear, I’ve been carrying most of the financial weight in this relationship, and there’s hardly anything tangible she has ever done for herself without at least my 50% contribution since we met.

I don’t complain, but I also don’t want to ignore what I’m seeing.

As a responsible man, I’m trying to be honest with myself before I take a step I can’t easily undo.

So I want to ask people who are married or have real experience: if I go ahead and marry in a relationship where this is the current dynamic, what should I realistically expect in marriage?

I’m not trying to assume the worst, but I also believe experience speaks louder than hope.

So despite all the bragging on social media, men are still planning on getting married.
This one wants to spend 3 million naira for the same marriage that they claim they do not have anything to benefit from.
Unbelievable!

I won't bother to get married.

Will do IVF with donor sperm and have 2 daughters.. Face front!

Akerele44:
If man or woman love sex a lot he or she would look old

It's about size.
Anyone with big size will look older than they really are while those with smaller frames will look younger than their real ages.

Funny how it is the opposite for me

In Nigeria, my sleep was poor. I hardly rested.
My husband and I worked multiple jobs. We could go 2-3 weeks without seeing each other.
Morning job, afternoon job, night duty back to back. We suffered sha.

We relocated to UK and things improved.
I work 9-5 Monday to Friday . No weekends. No holidays.
He works on some weekends but there is enough time to rest and sleep.

Na for UK we started adding weight,eating better, looking fresh and younger.

Everybody's story cannot be the same.
UK over Nigeria everytime.

Gerrard59:
Most Nigerian women believe their pastors over their male relatives and even husbands. If I were a dishonest and crafty person, I will easily become a pastor and target women. I will make so much money and enjoy myself sexually. It's so easy to deceive our women by being an acclaimed man of god🙄

When women like me don't go to church or tolerate any pastor around, people say we are de.mons.. agreed.
None of my 3 children have I taken to any church for a pastor to pray for in the name of child dedication. They are alive in good health and doing very well.
I and my family do not and will not attend any church home and abroad.
99% of Pastors in Nigeria and even overseas would take advantage of women,given the opportunity.

correctguy101:
I trust the NPF, dem don rush give am "eye glasses"... Dem for give am "sweet lick" too ... So that the mouth go dey bloated.


Òní yéyé ..

They won't do anything.
The police is somewhat lenient to rap.ists in Nigeria

Angelfrost:
Well, over 50% of them won't be in the UK for starters, if we developed this nation in all aspects.

A doctor in the UK doesn't fear for his life everyday he goes out to work... Nor does he get harassed regularly by law enforcement or the military.

I know Japarians that relocated solely for the sake of safety.

The fact that I can travel all over UK at anytime of the day or night by any means without fear of being kidnapped or attacked by bandits is enough.

And Yes, I am happy to be a doctor in the UK.

I am HAPPY and PROUD to be one of the doctors in the UK.

laivwire:
Really. Please know what you talk about before you talk. My grandparents had to separate when over 8 kids were lost to SS. My mum was the only survivor with AS.

Leave him.
His type believe in ogbanje or abiku.

Edi4real87:
Please flush that advise. I only pity the poor child and the mother. From experience, only mothers sleep with their SS children in the hospital when in crisis.
Do the needful please. AS + AS is a wrong combo.

Very true.
You will hardly see the fathers.
They become overwhelmed and run away leaving the women to suffer

grandstar:
God hates abortion.

But God doesn't hate premarital sex

fixzycode:
Hello Nairalanders, my friend got a lady pregnant and later discovered that both he and the lady's genotype are AS. Now he is confused because the lady is suggesting abortion but he is not In support of that.

He is confused because he don't know if the child will turn out SS but he wants to give luck a chance. Those with experience please advise.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.

If that lady knows what is good for her, she better aborts the pregnancy and move on.
If that child turns out to be SS, this your friend abi na you sef will run.
We have seen so many men who have disappeared leaving the sick children to be cared for by their mothers.
As a medical doctor, I will not advise my enemies to take this risk.
Wicked adults bringing innocent children to suffer and die in pain

I shared this link to white woman who keeps asking me why Nigerians are still producing SS children.

Nigeria has the highest burden of SS worldwide and it's not ending soon.

Better to say "He left me because I refused to have sex with him" than "after having sex with me, he left me".

The only thing a man can use to "rubbish" a lady is the fact that he fvcked her.

Nothing else.

You are proud to admit that you patronise hook up girls but condemning single mothers.
There is no difference between you and them.
Even your fellow men don't support your promiscuity

Olufemiolaolu:
I was 33 plus she was 32 plus

Husband of evening newspaper

mankan2k7:
I have been married for 15 years and still enjoying it. My wife is a senior Lecturer while I work with a reputable public hospital. I am really enjoying my relationship cause I have achieved alot? If u married wrong, it is not my fault deal with it.

Nyen yen yen yen...
I thought you men say you don't enjoy marriage, you don't benefit anything from it. How come you have been married for 15 years and enjoying it.
You are a liar.

capetownboyz:
how do you feel having four kids with different women and not still feel like you are married ? Cause I feel what makes a marriage is being responsible to yourself,your wife and kids and with this instance you got 4kids in picture .so in some kind way if you are married but act single ..

He should be feeling good.. real G.
"Have baby mamas, don't get married", that's what is advised on social media especially this platform

mankan2k7:
What concern me with your opinion. You may be living in hell, that is your own cup of tea. The shame should be yours

Hahahaha.
People that say the best age for women to marry is 18-23 .. E reach your turn, you marry your senior and you are justifying it.

You go cry tire.

Hassanmaye:
OP I'm relocating because of insecurity, you want bandits to kidnap me

Please relocate from Nigeria, if you can.
Security is a big deal
Constant power supply cannot be overemphasized.

ndidibabe:
You are just starting..i understand the feeling.

That's your business!

bikefab:
Unfortunately some 40 plus guys are still single despite their desires to get married. No thanks to the economic realities in Nigeria

Desire to marry? Marriage that they brag doesn't benefit them? What happened to having baby mamas?

mankan2k7:
We were both 29, but my wife take 4 days senior me. Very loyal woman till today.

For the marriage that men have nothing to benefit from, you married a woman wey senior you
Shameee! 🤣

queenbetsy:
A 30 years old lady is evening newspaper to you? Seriously

Isn't that that name 30+ single women are labelled on this forum? Or are you new here?

theophorus:

No be everybody dey reason like you ooo.
And he clear from this your comment say dem still dey feed you and you have never been in a relationship.

Because if you are mature at all, you will know that before marriage there is some period of friendship_courtship etc...

And please, what's wrong with marrying a 30+ lady?

It's on this forum that I learnt that everything was wrong with marrying a woman who is 30+.
Meanwhile, I'm married with 3 children.
Why you dey vex? I was only wondering why the guy isn't practising what you guys preach on social media

kimjessey2019:
I'm 37, I have seen a wife but economy never let see road. She's 30.

Despite all the warnings, you are considering evening newspaper for marriage.
Lol

theophorus:
30+10months
30+6months

We never still get money but sha, God dey feed Us.

NB: Dont wait for the "cashout" before thinking of marriage, once the Door opens abeg just Marry cos of that Door close it may take time before it will open again.

You married a woman of 30 years, see ya life!

ndidibabe:
Reach old first and lets see if your bone can tolerate the cold....

Lol.. because there are no old people here.
Life expectancy in the UK is way higher than in Nigeria.
There are many old people here and they are way healthier than those in Nigeria.
You need to leave the shit hole ,even if it's just a visit to Europe.. Travelling is part of education.

Arostar2023:
I understand bro. It just that I have spent a long time in Nigeria to call some other place home. But our kids, they deserve better.

For me, home is far from Nigeria.
I am not Bro.. I'm a lady.

Cunha247:
Nigeria seriously need a constitutional reform cos what is all these

Funny enough if the girl open leg for am him go run am oo

This to me is a misplaced priority

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FH4_AAEOF8



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vK9BAE67o_A

And that's the reason he stopped her.
To intimidate her hoping she loses guard or just to lust over her

Arostar2023:
Is Nigerian life easier? I have tasted both, and I know the one to chose at any given time. Aside community living , I see no other advantage we have in Nigeria over those in Canada/UK. Although personally, if money dey, na Nigeria I go chose any day. But this one una de kill una self with reckless abandon, I wonder...

Having tasted Nigeria and UK, no amount of money can make me live in Nigeria again.

My children deserve better