₦airaland Forum

kiddaz:
Somebody else is doing for him what you're not willing to. He can't be that steeewwpd to accept such arrangements. You will be expecting gifts from me without reciprocating? You go chop wall
And you sound like a really boring wife. No doubt he must have a side chick or two else he won't last long

Well he accepted the arrangement,married me within 8 months and didn't marry the somebody.


Also,congratulations to him ,his somebody and his side chicks.

The best relationship remains where there is no sex and no spending.

But greed and lust won't allow people practise it.

Ladies allow themselves to be messed up because of their greed for material things while guys spend their fortune to satisfy their lustful desires.
Good for them.

As for me,I am a proud boring wife with 3 children.

Christian36:
My brother, I really need help I will be 41 this coming December. This pattern started since I was 35

How can a man be sounding like a sissy?
Marriage that doesn't benefit men, is that what you want to embark on?

And at 41,you are still young because you are a man

Wait till you are 70.
You will still marry a 20 year old virgin.

It's women that should be lamenting about marriage, not men.
This is a thorough eyesore

Badmashiii:
He's a loser from your own point of view but to him,he has "WON".

The way some ladies treat their pussies like diamond is the reason why some guys go to such extent to prove to the girl that her "diamonds" isn't as valuable as she thought.

And what is wrong with a lady treating her pussy like diamonds?

So she should be sleeping with every man and so easily so that what will happen?

Same men that shame women for having sex , same men who take offence when a woman declines their advances.
Wonderful

SpencerForbes:
You’ve got a point, but the real question is: do many girls actually have that patience? You might be able to wait, but others simply can’t.
Some women have a high libido and might only agree to these terms just to maintain that 'perfect wife' image. Eventually, they might end up going behind your back to cheat—just as some men do for financial or other reasons. In cases like this, I don’t see the union working; one party is almost guaranteed to break the agreement.

Secondly, let’s not ignore the issue of sexual compatibility. What if on the 'Judgment Day' (the wedding night), they find out they can’t satisfy each other? That marriage likely won't last. So, while your idea might work in theory, we shouldn't overlook these practical disadvantages.

Except a woman who is morally condemned such as the pros.titutes and runs girls that a lot of men like to patronise and even boast about it,many women can control their sexual urges.
It's not a big deal.

Secondly, sexual compatibility starts in marriage and not outside the confines of matrimony.
Sleeping around in the name of testing sexual compatibility is one lie that people tell themselves..

SpencerForbes:
So will you be happy if he initiates it meanwhile you both have children and have you considered the mental health of your kids if they’ll be able to handle it or you’ll just make them hate their father and it is settled?

I cannot kill myself if a man wants divorce.
Everybody is entitled to their peace.
Marriage doesn't mean one is in a cage.
Whoever is unhappy can leave.

We live in a clime where children are used to single-parent household, co-parenting,foster parents and even the same -sex parents family.
He can even have the kids , if he wants them.
There is nothing about making them hate their father.
Honestly, I do not like trouble.

SpencerForbes:
If that’s the case, then opting out of relationships entirely is a very valid option because many guys are genuinely tired of the stress. Our Nigerian girls are not helping matters at all with the way they behave, and I don't see them changing that mentality in the nearest future. Sometimes it's just better to stay single and keep your peace.

Let Nigerian men agree to "No sex, no spending"... Many relationships will work.

But men want to use relationship as an avenue to have sex without marital commitment.
It's only fair they meet the type of women who also use same avenue to exploit them.

Tit for Tat!

The men want to use relationship as avenue to have sex with women they are not married to.

The best form of relationship remains where there is no sex and no spending.

If men feel it is right to be sleeping with women because they are in a relationship, then it is also right for women to bill them in the same context.

Keep your money
Keep your body.

Peace!

SpencerForbes:
I guess he’s also happy. One man’s meat is another man’s poison. What’s the essence of being a husband if you can't accept the other side of your partner? Kudos to him; by now, I’m sure he’s gotten used to it.

I don't know if he is happy.
Whenever he gets tired, he knows what to do.
Divorce is an option.

SpencerForbes:
This comment of yours really got me thinking, and honestly, I don’t think anyone can even blame you. But I have a question: are you a Barrister, or do you just let every little event and happening stick to you that deeply? It’s usually only people in law firms who cling to agreements that rigidly.

I’m certain there are other "benefits" you’re hiding, probably based on things you learned while you two were dating. I actually pity the man, because at this rate, anything he says will surely be used against him in your "Court of Law."

What is the point of a marriage if both parties cannot learn to compromise and let things go?

I am not a Barrister.
I am just a lady who keeps to agreements because I don't like trouble.
My mum told me at age 14 that I should not collect money or gifts from any man I know I will not have sex with...It stuck.

For me ,I have benefited from having children who know their father and having a partner to assist me take care of them.

I don't know for him as men say wife is not family and they don't even have anything to benefit from getting married.

ebexofficial:
How can a girl not know the man spending on her is interested intimately? How could she be shocked when there are advances? The truth is this generation of girls especially in Nigeria are too greedy and hungry, how can you not want a man and you hang out with him while he spends on you (food, drink, transportation, tips …) and later you say you never knew that was his intention.

Back in the days, real trained girls never spends time with a man privately, she’s always scared of the outcome because she already knows what he wants before hand but these days they hit, run and call the man a maga

When I was 14,my mum told me if I know I will not have sex with a man, I should not collect anything from him.
And that is the principle I grew up with. It helped.

When I was dating my now husband, it was clear.
I didn't want to have sex with a man who was not my husband.
He also didn't want to spend money on any woman he was not sleeping with.

I only visited him in his house twice and never slept over.
He never came to my house because I didn't like the idea of entertaining male visitors in my home even though I lived alone.

We both picked our bills when we go out.
If I couldn't afford to hang out,I would simply cancel.

We dated for 8 months and got married.

The problem is a lot of women are too greedy.

Nobody spends money on you without something in return.
Even our parents cater for us today so we can take care of them tomorrow.

When I was single, I guided my money so much that I would tell myself "Instead of a man to eat my money, let me rot in jail". ..and I don't collect money or gifts from men.Its never free.



I remember when I was dating my now husband, on my birthday, he called and texted me. no money , no gifts...as he had only agreed on my "no sex before marriage" principle on the condition that he wouldn't spend on me which I agreed .I was working and earning fairly okay .
I wasn't greedy or living above my means.


Few months later, it was his birthday.. I had a good amount of money in my savings. So I went to a boutique and started shopping for him.
Along the line, my sense returned.
I dropped the items I was buying for him.. and instead shopped for my siblings. Afterall, it was few days to Christmas.

On his birthday, I also called and texted him.
We got married 3 months later..
He started gifting me after we got married because he had started sleeping with me but I still find it impossible to give him anything which he low-key complains about it.

I don't acknowledge his birthday, valentine's Day or our anniversary with any gifts.

So despite all the badmouth you guys use on women on this platform, despite all the advice that men should not marry as they don't benefit from marriage, you guys are still considering getting married and to the very same women that you so detest.
God forbid ooo

Till the word ends, no condom, no sex.
Before a useless man will infect me with disease because he is polygamous in nature.

On social media, men throw out their cheating wives immediately.
In real life... See this mu. Mu.

Men are suffering sha.
After bragging on social media that they don't need marriage, women are useless,.. same them save money to spend on marriage rites to women.
What a life.
It's a pity.

dawnomike:
Wickedness of the highest order!!!

Why deceive a woman just to marry her in the name of lover that will first clear off when the truth unravels?

For the same marriage that men claim they don't need and beneforit nothing from

Softmen:
Madam e smooth for you like express no mean say na U sabi relationship pass.
Anyways no sympathy here cos these daughter of eve will never take to advice

I never said I sabi relationship pass.
I only said there is no way a lady should be in a relationship for 6 years except she is a teenager.
Even though.
What will they do be doing for 6 years?

edogu:
If you are in a relationship for six years and your partner is yet to propose demand for pension immediately. On a side note, people should go into a relationship with a purpose. If the person is not serious, you move on. I'm sure the red flags or signs were there but she continued with the relationship.

Note this: in relationship, the person who suffers most is the person who invested more either emotionally or financially. Therefore, learn to use your 5 and 6 while dating to avoid had I known.

6 years? Like a whole 6 years?
Anyway, some can start as teenagers.
Cos if a grown up woman is dating a man for 6 years, na she sabi.
I dated my husband for 8 months.

OnionBandit:
This jubilation means she has been cheating, only that the person she has been cheating with is imp0t€nt

Are you aware that there is something called "Safe sex, contraception??
Every act of intercourse should not result in pregnancy

If my husband demands for DNA test, I will gladly obliged him . I am 100% sure the 3 children are his.
But then, no trust in the marriage.. It can never be the same.

Emdi1914:
ok, what if a woman admires a man and wants to sleep with him, she makes advances at him but the man says No.Out of frustration and anger, She goes out to the streets crying and accusing this man of rape or attempted rape, won't you believe her?

Keep imagining script.
Nobody makes sustained advances at anybody if the other party doesn't encourage it.
Men always want to have sex, that's why it's very easy for them to fall victim to rape accusations.
They can't say NO to invitation for sex.. they, instead, see it as a blessing

Emdi1914:
If you like cut off the prick of Everyman,a woman will still find a means to bring a Man down.
The breed that had one on one interaction with the devil,they are as cunning as the serpent

Big lie.
He who plays with dogs should not complain when the dogs tear his clothes.

A man who can control his third leg has solved 90% of his problems.

Men, especially financially successful ones, believe they must sleep with as many women as possible.

If Hakimi never entangled himself with his accuser(s),no woman will wake up one morning to point accusing fingers at a man she never met or had no business with.

NomorePMO:
Na who give ekaite belle, na the question wey my wifey, dey ask me very lately, lol

Did you know, she has a boyfriend. Also, her mother usually helped her clean after her crazy sex show?

Oyibo no dey rate sex like Africans do. Mostly cheap or free there. Just be confident to ask

Team foreign women

Houseofglam7:
That man will soon cry! He will weep! 🤭

How?
Why?
It's the lady that will cry if she allows herself to be messed up

Good but don't loose guard.
He will gladly shift your pants if you mumu yourself.
Then go back to his bad boy lifestyle.

Flip this script, a man will never take a woman who had a rough past serious.
No matter how genuine she may have changed, they will still judge her by her past.
Don't get carried away else you will weep.

I have seen a guy who faked being born again and even did introduction just to sleep with the lady .. after the deed, he ended the engagement and shunned her.
Be warned

Nostalemate:
Sad one...must be out of underlaying ailment(s) or too much excitement ....


Shout-out to all chess players on Nairaland earning good money from the game .

Pulmonary embolism.
Risk factors: Elderly, Big size, Immobilisation (Long flight)

Love800:
I like it when am being briefed on why disconnections happened between you and me.

Don't take the coward style. Iron it to us, for understanding.
This kind of separations usually leaves a huge hole in our hearts because you don't know the wrong.

I rather ghost.

When I was single, if I meet a guy and we are in the talking stage and I find out things I don't like about him, I just quietly withdraw aand ghost him.
No explanation

Drsnives:
Hmmmm..
That's how a lady at I love ghosted me back then.
Thank God for life sha, at least am not still at the level she left me

Better to ghost than plenty shalaye

BigYash:
And HIV positive . Heard one guy said has shared to over 20 girls in Lekki. Those girls go don share to more than 50k each.. Those 50 will share too. If you like dey dive raw,you will learn new thing soon

The moment I had my third child and decided I was done with child bearing, I swore that nothing in this world will make me have unprotected sex.

The total number of your sexual partners is the number of the people your spouse is sleeping with and their partners.. it's indefinite.

The joke is on her

Accommodated and fed a man... Shame on her
He ate her food and ate her towtow

She is the loser

folake4u:
Lol actually there are few genuinely kind Nigerian men I've met with no ulterior motive at all. They've been really good to me.

Emphasis on FEW.

Loose guard and see if they won't want to shift ya panties or clear your account if you have money