₦airaland Forum

ifytrik:
I feel for my igbo brothers doing business in southafrica and ghana, it's not easy to leave with witchies and wizards, even here in Nigeria outside the southeast they hate and envy us somuch not because we are thieves or criminals but because we are more successfull than them even in their own soil, we must learn to leave with it if we want to remain in the top, don't let their hatered distract you, just be prayerfull and i can asure you all that the egyptians we see today we shall see them no more. #GOD BLESS NDIGBO #IGBO AMAKA

Not really.
If you have lived outside the country, not visit o, lived!, then you will understand why. I will reserve the rest of my comment

mariahAngel:
I think AnonymousRebec is in the position to answer the question

Hahahahahahahahaha

Both of you are clowns

I was about to say you were wasting your time without putting prices.

Maybe you should modify the op and put the price there.

Good luck.

This man is stupid.

I am presently in Lagos but will be shuttling Kwara and Osun states from October.

If you are business minded and very focussed, holla, let's see few micro businesses we can do together. Profits will be shared. You must be a person of integrity and who doesn't get bored with little little profits.

Best to quote me with your ideas first.
Up to 20k. It will be renewed if you are a person of character and business profitable.

FacundoCruz:
Thank you for this rare opportunity.Ill probably use it to start a laundry business.Ill use the 5k to get detergents, some washing basins(I have buckets),starch,bleach etc.Ill have to wash with my hands since I'm just starting up.Ill then notify people in my area that I've started a laundry business.Ill surely have to charge less than the usual price since I'm just starting out to get customers.Im sure in 28 days I should make more than 5k from my proceeds.Then with the little I've made when I've repaid the 5k.Ill use it to start my own business fully.Then if I'm blessed beyond measure in the business and I have plenty money then I'll look to get a small washing machine and pressing irons.Then I'll now start a normal dry-cleaning business.Its not easy but I have to do it.Thank you.

PS:Sorry for the long explanation.

Which town are you?

mariahAngel:
You seem to be full of yourself.

The life of a lady does not revolve around a particular man. That you ignore her or find her boring does not mean others do.
For every lady you ignore, there are about ten or more guys fighting for her attention, but a lady wants the attention only from the one she desires.
Like men would always say; ladies love attention, yes, but only from whom she wants them from, the others do not really matter to her.

So what's stopping her from asking the guy out?

Hathor5:
It's your prerogative to not like someone but it would be fair to treat them like you want to be treated. Why does he reply any of her messages at all? Why does he view her status? If you don't like someone, be clear about it. Don't confuse them. For a person who likes someone every little thing is a sign, keeps them hoping and waiting. Give them a clear sign to move on.

No you are wrong, because they are not dating. If she likes him that much or wants his attention, why cant she vocalise it to him? Ohhh, she is waiting for him to do that first? Really? In this age and time?

As it is, she is friendzoned and is bitter. It is not every opposite sex that a guy meets that he should date. Nobody has expressed their intentions, or expectations. Or your "feminism" no reach make you tell the guy you like am?

Acquaintances are not entitled to my response on SM. She's not worth it in the long run. She, prob like you, has low to average IQ.

zeenaman:
You have experience, man. I got a job with one big man then just within a few months of my coming to the city. I came to stay with my sister and her husband in the city back then. I thought I had a good and loving sister, since we only spent the early parts of our lives together. I never knew that envy can turn people into the worst unimaginable monsters. My sister was like.. Even married men with families who have been in the city for four years are not earning what the man was paying. She said this bitterly but I didn't take it too seriously ; that innocent trust was still there. Guess what? My sister told somehow that the man will soon sack me because I was too slow and unsmart. I didn't believe that when the person she told related it to me. When I didn't get sacked, my sister called me and was advising me. She said the work looked too stressful on me that I should quit. Hahaha..


Secondly I got admission into polytechnic and university, she advised me to go to poly. I really have a sister o. But
now she's forming the best sister to me. I'm just observing her with interest


Another time, while having serious tasks ahead of me back in school, she insisted I come home for treatment because I was having little fever. Not like she cared o. This life is full of things. You are extremely lucky when you have loving siblings. I have lost trust in her completely. She can never make up for her flaws. She's not even aware that I know her so much. I just act normal
She always wanted to unite with others so that they can hurt me. She told my uncle who was my only pillar when I was in school to stop helping, that I was not the only that needed help in the family. She even said I won't be useful to the family when I make it. I don't understand what I did to her but I never cared to ask or know. Life goes on. But I still love her from my heart. I pray for her always

Goodness me. This is a whole lot, but trust me I've seen worse. But be careful because if you keep screaming "blood is thicker" like most Nigerians do, God help you, may you not end up in grave.

This thread just make me smile like a sheep.
Hahahaha.

NL of those days... Bliss.

ahnie:
I joined nairaland because of demelza.....
I missed her tho.

sambarry (iya wura)
abumickey...nairaland finestboy that year
idowulogbo was my fav of all time
calitto..kanwuliajara..kanwuliaextra..craziest naira lander funny,eccentric and intelligent with verbal punchlines.

Sexkills and ogugua...
Oga dont8......
sagamite the f.u.ck.tard crooner.
sophyrock...gallant ukwuani mama

nairaland those years was fun.


#11 years for nairaland no be agidi#

I remember you. We were always on with Kanwuliajara. Her cruise trip, etc

I have changed my moniker, so you wont know me now.

You made the huge mistake of going there. You have entered fire from frying pan. The access the medium has over spirit to know your life stories has initiated you into something bad. They now have control over you and will dictate the direction of your life further.

Stay away from short cuts. Identify with people who have passed through similar things. Stop comparing yourself with your mates and others and stop looking at your age everytime. You dont have the same race with your mates. You also need to find or discover yourself. You need to find your purpose or new passion to pursue. Most times, what we need is to boldly take a big step of changing our environment.

Above all, you need God. You dont need drastic and religiously dramatic encounter with God before you find peace. You can by taking one day at a time. Talk to God in the morning and at night, thank God profusely for the day and ask him to take care of tomorrow. Do that everyday and be content.

Never ever seek short cut, particularly spiritual short-cut.

Hintona, first of all, happy birthday.

You are lucky you have parents at all. Some dont have, some have half. But you have both.

They may not be perfect, but they have tried a little to send you to school. Use the resource they have given to you to make up for their inadequacies. For instance, use your education to use Google wisely, or even ask the questions here or do some research from trusted people.

That succint line from your mum is golden and is the best sex education you can get from the best mothers.

Kenwills, you are lucky she showed her attitude and vocalised it now. Not when you start having kids, and you send your kids to spend a few days with her.

See, cut all ties and ensure to block her on all SM, otherwise she will monitor you. If you end up being successful, she's the type who will, out of envy, write false accusations to your company or church or wherever you are held in high esteem.

However, the reasons i can reckon for her attitude is probably some things that happened while you were growing up together.

Since she's the eldest, she would have been old enough to know those things and you were too young to know or care. Might be some struggles between you lot or it might be parenting defaults or it might be some info she was privy to about your parents. It might also be that a spiritualist has said something about your family and she's trying to do away with further misfortunes by identifying with you lot.

So, find your path bro. Be prayerful and be focussed. Dont forget to watch your back too.

You are not even dating and you are this entitled?

SMFH

It's something I can do, if from our few chats i see that you cannot hold an intelligent convo, have archaic mentality, or have low IQ. Or simply dont find you attractive.

If you are the type that feel entitled to my attention and to me replying me when you want, i will be like him.

He has the right to answer you at anytime. The guy seems intelligent to me and can decode you quick and from afar.

Amotolongbo:
If another election is conducted, Do you think APC is legible to participate based on the ruling of the Supreme Court?
Definitely No!

APC was nullified from participating in the election based on the ineligibility of the running mate to the candidate. Even if INEC will organize another election, that ruling still stands cos no party will be allowed to make any substitution to the candidate or running mate already fielded.

The only solution for APC to win Bayelsa State is to sponsor a mushroom party candidate to win the election and then defect to APC afterwards. That may be practically impossible using a mushroom party to win.

In short, PDP still remains the party to beat cos there won’t be APC participating in the election.

Your eyes go soon clear

That Registrar is mad. He should be handed death penalty for blasphemy.

I have noticed that in Nigeria people from the same tribe/town or other affiliation with the president act with impunity in their various capacities

queenitee:
Not everyone is your parent, your parents didn’t adopt them, so they don’t have any claim on them legally. My parents have people who grew up with us too, even before any of us were born. There were even two that it took years before I knew they were not my siblings, but my parents didn’t adopt them and so they have no legal
claim on them.

Adoption isn’t just a trivial issue. After adoption, they have full claim on the child. The child can’t decide to just leave one day(if they treat her wrong) because according to the law, they are the parents, there’s nothing anybody can do. If to say they are not adopting her, it’s a different issue because the child can leave at anytime if she feels maltreated or something, but once she’s adopted, she lose that right(except her adopted parents are good people who still let her have access to her biological mother.) That’s the issue. Not everyone is my parents or your parents, not everyone would do right by her. How would we be sure the adopted mother would do right by her?

So it’s not that we don’t want her being adopted, but how can we be so sure after adoption, the adopted parents won’t cut her off from her child’s life because believe me, they can and there’s nothing anyone can do legally because they are her parents.

If to say they would be like yours and my parents and just accept her into their house and take care of her without laying any claim on her, that would have been different.

You are the one who need think this through. Can the mother live with the fact that except the adopted parents says “Yes,” she can not say/do on her child?

It’s because we don’t know who are the really good people. Why don’t they just help her? It wasn’t like she wanted to give her up for adoption. Why don’t they just help her without adopting the child?

It’s not at all about reaping the fruit of her labour, we all don’t know tomorrow. Plus the child is one of the things that keeps her going. What if she gives her up and they deny her access to the child? What will happen to her? Do you know it can affect her mental health? How well does she knows the family that wants to adopt her child? Because they give her money sometimes or but her stuff doesn’t mean they would be the best after adoption.

Good morning

When you mentioned "laying claim of", I was already put off.
That's a Nigerian mentality we need to unlearn.

This issue isn't about claim, and adoption is not about claim. Science has so much developed that we are still talking about "claim" in 2020, really?. Nobody can drag the "claim" with a biological parent. Raising other people's children or adopting an orphan or unwanted child is not about claim, but rather a good cause. it's about giving opportunities to the less priviledge to thrive and become somebody in life. Adoption is about parenting, it is not about claim. I'm having to deal with a lot of twists on this issue as if it is a novel or a superstory novella. What legal implications are you talking about on a homeless single teen who can't even take care of herself?

Y'all should relax. There's no better alternative in her present predicament than to give the kid on adoption. Not only that, she has the opportunity to better herself. The other options I see is hawking pure water or prostitution. Which other options do you see?

But with the mentality of "claim", what for?

To collect bride price? To bank on the kids when you are pensioner? That's primitive thinking. If we take good opportunities life has to offer, we will thrive and end well and will not need to be parasitic on our children at old age. But we like to allow Africa Magic to becloud our thinking.

Mizflo:
Thanks everyone for your advice and words of encouragement I live in asaba I love my daughter so much more than anything in this world but I think she deserve better than me the reason I want to give her up for adoption is because she will be better off without me over there she will have both parents that will train and guide her to the right path something I never had the change to have so I want her to be greater than me because I don’t have anything good to offer her , I trust this aunty that will adopt her because she has helped me a lot in the past I know my daughter will be in a good place but I just don’t understand why am I having sleepless nights about giving her away I guess is normal for any mother that love her daughter to feel the same way I am feeling because it’s not easy for me to give her away but she had to go because I want her to be happy and I hope one day she will thanked me for making the right decisions for her. Thanks

Good decision. Now go work on yourself. Apart from business, go to school on part time.You will need to be very focussed now and believe you dont need any man for now. You need time to heal and rediscover your purpose in this life. You must determine to be everything apart from what your family pattern has been. Trust God but dont be overly religious, that's another trap. But please dont be bitter towards God.
He has reasons.
The same way we dont understand children with autism and other deformities, is the same way this is. So, still trust Him because there's a reason why you and your daughter are alive.
Also, to be a better you, you will need to remove any form of bitterness. Main thing now is FOCUS. Trust me it is.

You will end up well.

Heartheart:
what's the guarantee that the child won't go through series of abuse even worse than the mother. This is not USA that there are laws binding adoption. This is Nigeria .the child will most likely be used as a maid. She was even promised money for rent. It's more like they're trading the daughter. If she signs those papers, she won't have any rights whatsoever over the child. She can even be denied contact with her. U see what happened to u OP when someone else raised u. U see what happened. And she was
your aunt o. Life is gonna be hard but u have to pick yourself up and struggle. If it's to hawk, my dear hawk. I've met ppl that we're raised by single mothers and they told their stories of their struggles. But today, things are getting better.
OP if you want to break that chain, raise your child the right way, put her in school. Public school is there. When she comes back, let her assists u. Ask about her studies, tell her to read and encourage her. Because if that girl becomes successful, you'll be the first to reap from it. There are several menial jobs u can do. Struggle, it will be worth it in the end I promise u. Give that child the love and care u never had, train her well. You will surely reap the fruit of your labor.

Mizflo, ignore this. It is written with sentiments and obviously from someone who hasnrt known life yet. How will you show love to a 5 year old child when you dont have the means to? You don't even have a place to stay? If you struggle and hawk, where will the child be? At mercy of someone who will abuse her?

Dont bank on reaping anything on any child, that's not the goal of parenting. It is a Nigerian mentality that misguides. i dont see you giving any good parenting now anyway. Your goal as a parent is to give your child the best opportunity/foundation to thrive in life.
So the best is for you to take this option of giving her the best, which you can always explain to her later.
You also have the chance to bounce back, and make something meaningful out of your life.

If you typed the OP then you are educated enough to negotiate the content of what you are signing for. Let it include occasional visits, but not too occasional.
What you need is a safe hand/home for the girl to grow up to 18.
She's 5 now.... So 13 years more. By then, you will be 34, probably married with more kids. But before that time, you need to heal and achieve things for yourself.

My parents had several people brought up in our homes while growing up, including 7 of us. They lived with us until they are old enough either to return to their parents, marry, or be on their own. They were equally treated with us and i still find it hard to believe that they are not my biological siblings. Their cases are similar to your daughter, and our parents gave them a platform to identify with while growing up to be whoever they want to be. Interesting thing is that apart from my siblings, they themselves are doing the same to other people's children. It is our heritage and i'm forever grateful to my parents for that.

Please ignore these Africa Magic people sitting in the comfort of their homes typing with a myopic mindset. This is your best chance, dont miss it.

If not for the latest challenges, KD is a good place to live and invest.
The city is now divided into 2 on religious affiliations. Thats very bad and it is a timed bomb. Small issues will sparks violence. Thats like Belfast, living in suspicion and distrust with one another
No concrete development or improvement will happen like that

Perfectview, dont be stvpid. People copy other people's pictures from SM to make such profiles.
My friend told me of a bitter guy who posted the pictures of his troublesome sister-in-law and phone number in a similar site.

Maybe it's the same person sef.

Thenaijaman, There's no point. Love all the kids the same and remove your mind from it, except if you want to confirm your wife's fidelity.

Even if the results come out negative, have issues only with your wife and continue to be the father of all the kids.

Children need stable homes, some are adopted to give them better future. So, you can know the truth but you can also continue to love and give the kid a better tomorrow. It is more rewarding giving parenting to unwarranted children. Dont let archaic Nigetians tell you otherwise.

[quote author=wwwkaycom post=92840494]Stanley is my colleague in the office, he's a kind of very funny guy. Very jovial and friendly but with some funny characteristics. I recently discovered that he is sleeping with his sister in-law. I caught him for the first time early July, the lady in question came to meet him at the office and I had to drop them off while driving home after work. Stanley asked me to drop them off at a particular junction which is about 2km from his house. I told him I'm entering the street but he insisted they would alight at the junction. I dropped them off and drove off to see my tailor in the street. After collecting my stuffs from the tailor, I turned back and headed home. About 200meters from my tailor's shop, there is a drinking joint and I saw Stanley holding the lady like when lovers hold themselves trying to take seats at the joint. I told him I saw him the following day and he only said what's wrong in holding her and that I seems to have dirty mind, I kept quiet. Just this week, we travelled out of town for an assignment from Monday to Thursday and we had to lodge in a hotel for the three nights. I told Stanley to let's hook up in the same room so as to save some money, he refused. I only tried, Stanley don't normally share room with anyone when we have that kind of trips. I got a modest room with modest price at one corner of the hotel while Stanley got another room upstairs. We normally eat breakfast in a restaurant very close to the hotel, I discovered that anytime I meet Stanley at the restaurant, he'll eat and still do takeaway. Once I entered the hotel by 7pm, its till morning because there's even partial curfew that starts by 8pm in the city. But on Wednesday night, I came out because light was off and the hotel people were not putting up generator on time. I saw Stanley rushing upstairs with a lady immediately he saw me. It was his sister in-law. I didn't say anything to him during our work on Thursday. The office driver came early yesterday to pick us, the lady didn't join our car. I didn't see her either. I opened discussion with him on the issue carefully without allowing the driver to hear, he told me everything. That the affair started in April when we were yet to resume from lock down. The lady was with them when lockdown started and she couldn't travel, so they started sleeping with themselves each time Stanley's wife who is a nurse is on night shift. I advised him to stop because 90% of such cases usually end up in disaster but he said he will try but it'll be difficult. I threatened to tell his wife, he only said "Egbon I know you're joking, you can't do it". How can I help Stanley to stop this thing please? In my part of Nigeria, it is a taboo with debilitating consequences. It could even lead to sickness. I told Stanley about this, he only told me that I'm been superstitious.[/quote]MIND YOUR BUSINESS. YOU HAVE ADVISED, THAT'S ENOUGH.

And if that's his real name, please edit the name away. Looks you are mischievous with the op. You sound like a busybody.

Heartheart:
Hi I just needed to bring this here. I am 22 years of age and I am not happy at all. My boy friend and I are in a long distance relationship. Not long perse. He is in lagos while I'm in abeokuta. I served in lagos so that's how we met and we got to spend quality time together. Now since I've passed out I've been at home. I passed out in June. So it's been June that we saw last and now we're in august.He has been disturbing me to come visit him as it has not been easy staying alone, loneliness and all. I promised to visit him next week which also happened to be my birthday week. I have super strict parents but I still promised I will find my way.

I told them(parents) that I was travelling to visit a friend(girl). I could not tell them it was my boyfriend I was going to see because I knew deep down they wouldn't allow me travel to another city to see a guy. But my parents have blatantly refused that I cannot visit this girl. I had to tell my bf that I was not going to come. He was so sad and angry and he let me know he has wasted a lot of money preparing to surprise me for my birthday. He was so excited to see me and he had made a lot of plans. He told me he was disappointed in me and he doesn't think he can continue a relationship like this. Yes he comes to abeokuta sometimes but he mostly lodges in the hotel. He told me he can't continue lodging in the hotel that if I love him I will make effort. I tried to convince my parents they did not gree. Imagine, I told them I wanted to see a gf that they knew and they refused. What if I had told them he was a guy. Pls guys how do u advise me to save my relationship, I'm in a tight spot right now and really sad.

Take a bus at Kuto around 7am and by 9am you are with him in Lagos.

When it is 4pm, find your way to Oshodi or any park in Lagos, take a bus back.

You will be home in Abeokuta by 6pm or 7pm.

You can do this twice next week.

If it's a relationship that is serious, introduce him to your parents. He doesn't have to propose before you make him visit you at home.

You are an adult now and have finished schooling.

ERICCSSON:
pls forgive my typo i had to open a new acct to protect my identity....
i wont bore you with long stories i will go straight to the point.
there's a girl we have been dating for 4 years plus. recently i told my mom about plans to bring her over as per marriage plans my mom asked for a pic of my fiancee she usually takes pics of my siblings and i to church for prayers and all i have no problem with that..
yesterday my mom called me told me to come home that its urgent..this morning i hurried down only for her to tell me that my fiancee is a WITCH and i froze...i finally asked for iced water after taking one glass i calmed down and asked how come?where is this coming from?
Apparently my mom took the pic shes been pestering me for to the village (a SHRINE note my mom is a very strong church goer).... i froze again so she was told my fiancee is a witch so i should call off the relationship..imagine the nonsense...God helped me i would have given her a dirty slap if that was someone else...since i met my fiancee she has been nothing but a source of happiness to me she is an architect she has helped my life in so many ways financially and otherwise on my last birthday she gave me a building plan she designed for our house and we have even gotten a land together how can this lady be a witch last year there was a flood that affected my family compound where my parents live my fiancee helped me with funds which i used in relocating them b4 i renovated the compound i can keep going since i met this girl my life changed ...i feel so hurt what has she done to deserve all these?
shes so happy and hoping to meet them what do i tell her God?
i feel so hurt and betrayed..even my dad supports her in this madness i want to cut them off what do i say to my fianceee please help me i have been down since morning how can my parents do this to me?oh God

Your mum, a church goer, took your fiancee's picture to the shrine? Omg!
Run to her pastor and tell him everything you wrote up here.

Your future kids aren't even safe with such a mother that jump from spiritual house to another. In your absence, your future kids would be given stuffs to eat and drink, and initiated, they would be taken to places behind your back.

Its 50/50

Best to let this go.

You can only go ahead if she assures you she wants to and will cut ties with her people.

But don't elope with her.

If you chose the latter and marry her, and anything happens to her, the family won't take it funny. They may even be behind it.

Marriage is different from wedding. A time will come that she will want to link up with the family again, esp after the children are getting to ages 5-10. And thats when the family can strike.

A family with such primitive mentality and customs should be avoided at all cost. Love is not only emotional but also rational. Don't let emotions overwhelm your intellect.

Mizflo,
Give her up for adoption. That's the right thing now.

It will be tough at first, but best you adjust and face your life squarely while she's in safe hands.

If you don't, you will suffer her for nothing and it will affect you getting the best out of the remaining years in your life.

Never be tired of this life, always make use of new opportunities even if it is not conventional or popular. In this case, your opportunity is to be able to make something out of your life while your daughter grows elsewhere to be an adult.

You will be fine, she will be fine too. Which state are you?


Modified:
I just read other people's comments above mine. Please ignore them. They sit comfortably typing without empathy and with the typical Nigerian mindset.

Adoption is very good, your daughter will have people she can look up to as parents/guardians. She needs that foundation at least till when she is 18. You are merely 21 and this is your chance to restart your life. If you don't take this chance, you will suddenly reach 40, depressed, broke, miserable and suicidal. Please take this chance, especially for your daughter to have a home.

Your review is nonsense without the price.

It's Trump's 3½ year.
If he's elected, he will be fulfilling the 7 years .

Who else understands?

This thread is a typical of how NL used to be. Sane and matured comments/conversations. Reading through the pages is worth it.

But nowadays, we see all manner.

If it's not "i smell lie", it would be afonja or Igbo.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who noticed many people on NL got ruder and unruly. And I'm suspecting its the new generation of people who just grew to the age of using a phone, and may others who are just catching up to using smart phones.

Saao:
So the guy listenedto news? Nice maybe one day he will change.

He's on NL sef