₦airaland Forum

ThiefOfHearts:
Not a fan of this word "swallow"

get your one track mind out of the gutter woman! ROFLMAO!

PTH:


Your words may just come back to haunt you. On second thoughts i just might want to prove that i'm not asexual once wont hurt eh at least so long as you're made to eat your words.

hmmmm. this is getting interesting. TOH are you up for the offer?

initially the age difference wont matter but lets face it sooner or later the age difference will become apparent. you'll be putting on your husband's diapers and helping him into the bath tub.
women are die hard romantics but reality paints a harsh picture. as long as you're ready to do what it entails, knock yourself out!

ThiefOfHearts:
ok fine not gay. how about asexual?

asexual like big bird? funny!

ThiefOfHearts:
I'd think you were gay and trying to use me as a "beard"

is that how you view guys who wont ask for sex? that's absurd!

but why would a guy put a girl who he intends to marry eventually through an abortion? whats wrong with stepping up on wedding plans?

i know a couple who got rid of a pregnancy cos they werent quite ready and didnt want anyone to know that they were having sex before marriage. they got married a couple of months later. what is that?

ThiefOfHearts:
lol right after you got married eh?

no before. .
when a relationship ends badly that should teach you to do things a little differently the next time.

adoption is an honorable move. i wish you all the best in your endeavours. you seem to have a good heart. that person is out there looking for you. nice talking to you and learning from you. will send you an e-mail.

yeah. i came to the conclusion a long time ago that sex is best had within the confines of marriage. nothing like a man who is commited to you and cares about what happens to you after he gets dressed and leaves!

Holiness_M:
Fools - I studied all through to PHd with Shell scholarship - so don't even utter a word - because u are nothing.

I live in the UK - so don't even shoot - just zip the opening called your mouth. This is waht we are saying - u are not anything better because u live abroad or because u study abroad -

Have u seen when the been tos go to Nigeria and look down on every body they come accross as if they are not somebody? Just because u went to Europe or America or worse still Asia?

such venom. why?

@spoilt

I said not *neccesarily* unhappy.

. The Iyale rules with an iron fist and is usually anything but unhappy.

I offer no explanations for these beyond the rudimentary, because I can only report on what I observe, and not my theory on how things *should* be. Sure the iyale is supposed to become a destroyed, wrecked, nervous skeleton of a woman. However in my experience she becomes a large domineering primadonna.

@dakmanzero
well i know that an assistant manager reports and defers to the manager. Always .so what did the second wife expect?
lets be real. The first wife has paid her dues, done her share of slaving for husband and children. when the new wife comes in, it can't be one continuous honeymoon for her. she does the dishes used by the whole army, does the cooking and cleaning. she does have to earn her stripes you know! she'll only get some respite when another wife comes in. and on and on it goes with a new wife added to the harem. its complicated. Its not for me to ponder on the mechanics of their reporting ladder or hierarchy. thats what they chose. oh well! what a life! goodluck to them .  

abortion is not a small thing.
some people do it and move on with their lives. others carry the guilt to the grave. if you've ever felt a baby move in your womb you'll know that you are carrying life. I have personally witnessed an abortion done. it wasnt me, yet i'll take the guilt to my grave. i had a nightmare that night. me and the person i 'escorted' have never talked about it again. ever.we both pretend it never happened.its too painful to even dwell on.
the crux of the matter is that in matters of the heart women tend to have a lot more to lose, a lot more pain to bear. its about time women became firm as to who they let mount them. a lot of men are just boys. in for the joy ride. will they stay to give support when you are with child? if you must have sex make sure its with someone who wont leave you high and dry when the chips are down. a lot of relationships dont survive this.

@poster God has probably forgiven you, i doubt your girlfriend ever will. sometimes even if you dont offer marriage its enough for them to hear you say she can at least have the child and you'll provide. its not that difficult to step up.

dakmanzero:
The people that suffer are the wife and children.

A man is NOT suffering when he has multiple women to choose from, LEGALLY. Trying to scare people away by misrepresenting the facts worsens the problem. Let it be clear from the get-go: *IT IS FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN*

lets get something straight. there's more to polygamy than the limitless sex with multiple women that outsiders see. seriously only an honest man will go outside and confess to friends and family  (who probably warned him not to walk that road) that the polygamy thing is really not working. you only get those vibes when they let down their tough-man guard or maybe when drunk. . instead he brags that he rules his household with an iron fist and that his women wont dare stir trouble when he's around.  the man suffers. trust me does he suffer! but just as men are not allowed to show emotions, they keep the pains of their 'barracks' hidden well. very well. 

@original poster. that your tie no be am oh!

I don't do foul language. least i try not to.  Dont want my baby picking up any colorful language.  .  Any opinion i express on nairaland is not an attack against any  person or groups of persons and should not be taken personally. It is simply a point of view which will always be delivered without ambiguity as to my stance. If it is misinterpreted as agression or an attack ,then  my regrets for hurting sensitive emotions. 

[s]and sharp tongued? yeah! ive been told i tend to sound caustic sometimes. [/s]

dakmanzero:
@spoilt and TOH:

Please stop embarassing us anti-polygamists and cool down on the name calling, eh? Or at least be tactful and indirect about it like @babyosisi . the pro-polygamists have been more civilised in putting their points across.

please read all my posts again brother. wheres the name calling?  be tactful and indirect about being against polygamy? how is that even possible? maybe you don't know the meaning of those 2 words.  . don't use them again out of context.

The *older* woman is not neccesarily unhappy (rail all you like spoilt, many 'madams' love the idea of having an 'iyawo' to treat like a housegirl along with her supposedly lower-ranked children). The younger woman went in with eyes open, so if she isnt happy, tough cookies. The man is obviously over the moon, regardless of whatever nonsense he says about 'wahala' (all na grammar. Most polygamous men have their wives in seperate houses and just abandon the one that talks too much.)

i can't believe people still generalize. and where did you come by your conclusions? a personal survey of yours?
make up your mind if you are for polygamy or against it. and quit blowing hot and cold.

she had better learn ibo too.

olanajim:
Undoubtedly, polygamy sustains the world. Rather than crucify the practitioners, we must seek to EMULATE them. If you no get the power, just shut up!!

sustains which world? your own obviously! what are you talking about?wait a minute, shut up? no you shut up! . we've had enough of your desperate justifications. why three or four women under the same roof will want to take turns sharing one wart encrusted ding-a-ling is what beats me hollow! im tired of this bizzarre thread. im out!

$$Rhino:
why do people want to waste time and answer the azzhole, ?
If he is mad about people outside, let him go and jump the train and die, punk negro

ha!

didnt know the poster was militia. ha! why the disguise?

lovemajek:
@ thiefofheart, during our ancestors time women married another woman for their husbands just to have happiness at home, not being stupid.

you think picking the woman yourself changes anything? will it guarantee you a more peaceful polygamous home? quit playing! because your husband tricks you and sweet talks you with a false sense of power to pick the woman he'll sleep wih you think that makes it ok? that sounds like stupidity to me. why not let your husband pick another husband for you? afterall he'll pick a good man. it sounds even more ridiculous with each additional post and each new angle added. you guys should quit playing.

she has disappeared. where art the virgin?

sounds real good. i'll watch it! when is it? what channel?

after 6 kids with your boobs hanging to the floor, trust me i would lift those twins up!

kanz:
@ spoilt because it is written in d handbk that no girl is allowed 2 b pregnant in schl.

siongle and pregnant or married and pregnant? do married women not attend this school? -pregnant women go to school too.

Tanna:
No, Tanna is not Mormon. Tanna's mind is just freed from the religiousness of man and societal dictated morality.

My illness was not MENTAL nor was it LIFE Threatening. IT WAS DEBILITATING, and CRIPPLING, and PAINFUL. And thanks to God, I happen to be healed from it now.

I have not been in love with a married man, nor have I dated one - what was your point?

And just like you can't see why I condone polygamy - I don't see why you would have sex with someone you aren't married to. Why are women so "independent" that sleeping around is the first and foremost task on her independent agenda? You need to get your mind right and understand WHY GOD MADE YOU and what your role is as a WOMAN.

My wishful thinking about the second wife, was because I wanted my husband to have the support he needed as a man, and king of our household. I wasn't able to do that for him. I really felt like he was being punished in the midst of my sickness, and I wanted him to have comfort, and the basics like a hot meal, someone to talk to who was NOT complaining daily of her ills, someone to hang out with, to rub his back after a long week's work, to kiss him and tell him I would be okay, and provide some sexual satisfaction. I wanted someone to step in and be me- since I could not be me. He's a good good man, and I just hated that he went without so much for such a long time.

Then, my kids basically lost their mother- yet I wasn't dead - I was just helpless and useless.

its really really really absurd that you hold women to such high accountable standards and yet your standards for men leaves a lot to be desired. you keep referring to God and religion and morals. Dearie, im curious, erm what god do you serve? 
your views are quite bizzare.
when your husband is deathly ill (hope that doesnt happen! ) will he let you marry another man to rub your back, give you multiples, look after the children, pay those damn bills and be a protector of your household? will he?
i don't think so honey. my point is this. moral standards are moral standards. there should be no discrinmination when it comes to acceptable behaviour. like i said before,  women are not born monogamous. we have learnt to excercise self control because of all what we have to lose. society isnt very kind to women. your mother drums into your head the consequences of waywardness. with tales of what became of the women before you who tried it. (didnt some of them run mad? )

any man can cage that roving eye if he wants to. but with women like you, why would they? why would they  you condone it. you don't expect any better treatment. poor you.
and the way you portray men one would think that men never stand by their sick wives. there are thousands of men out there who have very sick wives and who hold down the forte looking after the children, paying the buills and waiting for madam to recover. the last thing on their minds is to bring in another woman to give them sex.sex and more sex.  as if that is what the world revolves around. the cons of polygamy outweigh the pros thats what makes it a not worthwhile venture. 

enough said, you are just fantasizing about the second wife who will come in and make everything alright. honey if only you knew!!!!!!!

a man who thinks the sex is worth the house being torn down around his ears.

@thiefofhearts
seriously she saw big love on tv and it looked glamourous. why would a woman want half a man or a third of a man ejo? or even worse a quarter biko ?