₦airaland Forum

Its no longer funny. This joke has been read and published and posted by many persons since ages. Just try something new and you will make us laugh.

Sanusi is an unloaded canon that makes a load noise on ignition yet does not hit the target. It's better he stops talking and act on all that he has said before making further comments. His comments are becoming annoying nowadays.

when you say thick or big, you mean fat, right?
Hell No. I don't want to buy new mattress every two months.

What do they call tricycles apart from Kekenapep or kekemarwa. Since Motorcycles are called Achaba. I even thought it was Abacha wrongly spelt,

This is turning out to be a joke. Mr. President fine well well with cap for head.

Poster, an idle mind is the devils workshop or devils garage. Abeg go find work do.

I am sure this should go in the jokes section but i decided to post on the General section. Moderators are obliged to move it if it doesn't fit in.
I am sure this is how Hitler wanted to dominate the world.


European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English' .

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.


The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis med you smil, pleas koment und pas on to oza pepl.

If they count poverty as a state of mental disability, then 70% is too small. May be 95%. Otherwise, i don't believe this crap. It's just like the American survey which says Africans have low IQ. Utter rubbish.

i wonder how he carried them. No matter how small a baby is but 70 babies is too much. Hope the newspapers did not add 0 beside 7 (i.e. 70). Naija and gory news.

If it is possible to attend both, why not otherwise i go for the wedding. At least boyfriend has next year to celebrate birthday.

"Four deputy Governors in two states" was the caption of one of the Newspapers today.
Bauchi and Bayelsa states are as confused as the nation Nigerian. Why is it that some people don't like to leave office when asked to go. Is it there property? Haba.

Awesome joke. Bravo.

pweetychic:
I laugh in chinese, anywayc it wasn't me he slept with. He deceived my dearest niece, a 16yr old gal. He lied to the gal that we r jst friends, caught him while banging the gal, he never knew i could be in his place that day, and this innocent gal never told me he wooed her. aint that crazy! why wud he lie just to get under my lil gal's pant, despite all my affectn for him, wot could i hv done wrong to deserve this from him,

Contradictory (statement in italic vs embolden statement)

queeneve:
^^AND YOU NEED TO QUIT TELLING ME WHAT TO DO, IF THE SHOE FITS, WEAR IT, ARE YOU GUILTY?

NUKKA,

I don't understand your post. What has my response to the thread got to do with me.
Don't even understand the "are you guilty part. please direct your response to the Poster of this thread. thank you.

pweetychic:
I'm not d first, hp u r not one of those am directing the prayers to, all dem trickers, God wl sure seize that your ugly banana dat u r using to scatter the temple of God all in the name of love,
See me in private if u want to hear the full gist

I'm not that type of guy, i'm the other type, the type that girls like you have cheated on. That's why i said take heart and grow up.

Why must i see you in private to get the full gist which you have refused to make public here.

190:
who is that guy that has slept with u and refused
2 pay you after doin it,
oya tell me who is he!

qrich:
there are 3 pictures there

Thanks.

How are you sure she is not lost in thought while staring at you. This happens to me sometimes and the person i am facing at that moment thinks i'm looking at him/her.

You will get all you need from www.efccnigeria.org. Don't take any number online otherwise fake efcc agents will surely give you their number(s).

Did he ask you to wait? Has he formally proposed to you? I mean formally as in both families and not just between both of you. If your answer is NO, then leave him for good.

Your grammer nearly confused me. What exactly do you want? Date her or not? Sleep with her or not. Breakup or not. Date her sisters or not or even give her out to your friends.
Men, you reap what you sow. If you encouraged her to cheat on your friend, first having someone like you as a friend is worse that living with a snake in the same roof. Secondly, she will cheat on you eventually.

Go and get a life and forget the girl. Your story is annoying.

How could you promise a girl love and marriage just by taking and chatting with her on phone and facebook. Is it one of the games in town. So, if she was all that you want, would you have had a change of heart? You got what you deserve so deal with it.

pweetychic:
e no go better for all the unfaithful guys in here and out there,  your manliness shall not get erected again if you continue to despoil innocent ladies and make us shed tears everytime,
                   

You did not say what happened, you just concluded with your prayer. Are you sure you are not the problem. What about guys who have been heartbroken by girls, do you expect them to say this type of prayer.

Abeg, take heart and grow up jaree. Na you be the first.

qrich:
She flies into a jealous rage and started shouting at him, waving her arms in the air and even pushing him away from her.
The end.

Moral of the story? Don't ogle another woman while with us, especially if she's hotter than us. We don't like it! :-)

Since you narrated each scene and included pictures, where is the picture for scene 3 above?

If she frowns at you investing, then dump her because she will easily run to another man whose investment has already yielded fruits. Money and Women go hand in hand. Don't forget, No Money, No Honey.

I don't really understand your topic but if i will borrow a leaf from the post here, i will go with

190:
yes its very comfortable for the ladies to get a BF within minutes
you see this life was created to favour em, the ladies
but why i am happy these days is that there are now lots of em,
thus making it difficult among themselves to get all the favors!

I really think it is all about character and upbringing. If you were brought up in such a manner, that's how you will behave. IMO, it goes both ways i.e. for the man and the woman.

tkb417:
make dem no over do o

abuja no be PH o

no creek to hide o

Boko haram nko, where dem hide? Creek dey for north?

Heard it from the news. Report was that they blocked a major road in Abuja asking for the resignation of the Presidential Adviser on Niger Delta Mr. Ndutimi Alaibe. Alaibe, it's time to go oooh.