₦airaland Forum

Ariza:
Even that 'inform' still sound somehow to me. Lol. Do you inform before giving or after? Like: "babe I'm sending money to my parents tomorrow" lol it sounds somehow. Please explain why and how that's necessary. Lol I can only inform when I'm sending to in-law and that self I don't consider necessary.

She is your wife not your girlfriend when I say inform it means the money is big enough to inform someone, I don’t mean change or small gift. Sending a huge sum should be in the knowledge of your partner to account for just in case of anything happens in future. You don’t inform them to get their approval or seek validation.
The money is your money, and you are free to do what you want except it is not.

paulolee:
pls .i neva understood her till DT point because i followed her to her house just to see her place for the first time..

lion king. You mean you have no inclination say knacking is a possibility?

[s]

SweetBuns:
Why would they have one?
Why should they have one?

Having an erection means you're ready to take a responsibility. A tasking responsibility that is not for broke boys and effeminate males.

Having an erection signifies that you're ready to copulate, take care of an adult like yourself and a child/children. Having an erection means you're ready to build a home.

Hence, if you're incapable of doing such, why are you carrying your silly erections everywhere? Erections that will only add to the problems of society,?

Nigeria is an example of this terrible trend. Lots of broke guys having erections and the result? Lots of children uncared for plus numerous juvenile delinquents.....There is a motorcycle rider here, the guy has 8 CHILDREN... I am sure he earns between 1-3$ everyday but why will a broke guy like him have 8 good children? During this pandemic, his children run around and beg for food in our street, one of his oldest sons was caught with his bad company of friends while they were trying to burgle an old grandma's house.

Long story short, if you're broke, don't have erections. Stop bragging on dick length FGS. Hide your erection and work on your life!

TL;DR Get your shit together and stop disturbing ladies with your broke and problematic erections.

[/s]

bishop212:
Guy. U better not mess with that thing.. Cine to think of it, how can u stimulate ursef and get satisfied with ursef by ursef? That shit Is spiritual.. Remove ur mind from it before u plung deep. Masturbators sex demons.

This one eyah come again

Rolexjerry:
I always read comments of people on this forum about how they can always masturbate anytime they want. But no matter how hard I try(out of curiosity, not as if I'm sex-starved oooo), I can't seem to get any result.

Your bank don empty. Evil girls don fetch am finish. Go and do sperm transplant

PS573:
I'm in a relationship with a lady I love so much, she's so loving, caring and kind to me and after some months I asked her (Can you marry me?) She replied yes and she asked are you sure you can marry me? I replied YEs.

After Two weeks time she came to my house sadly, I asked what's wrong with her? She asked me again' are you sure you can marry me and I replied YES and YES, she said OK!

She opened up to me after some months, that she have "Tow kids from Two different men".... I felt so bad,speechless and confuse for a while, I just closed the conversation that day but till now I'm still confuse because I loved her before she opened up to me.

Please I need your advice what to do because I'm confuse and scared right now.

I appreciate all comments

OK She told you the truth and opened up. If you really like her then open up to her also and tell her how you truly feel about it. If you don’t feel you may continue then sincerely tell her so. She didn’t do you a favour by telling you the truth. She only showed courtesy doing it. It is something you deserve to know. More-so, Why did she wait till a marriage proposal to tell you?
Your first love was built on a foundation of ignorance and assumptions, now you know better, destroy that former love and try to build another one if you can’t then abandon the project.
Don’t go into a relationship out of pity. If you see something in her that stand out against all odds then go for it. If not then it is a no no

Watch the religious thread roll

gunners160:
You are not just intelligent but u are also matured.Truth be told, the issue of class I swear will surely set in.

Yes, education is not a yard stick to a happy home but menh marrying an uneducated man will cause trouble someday. He will always feel because he is not educated that is why the lady is taking him for granted; he will always feel his ego is being bruised. Anyways I won't blame you because you advised her base on the little experience you have; but I swear the marriage might not last most especially when it has to do with ego.
NOTE: THEIR IS A BIG DIFF BLW AND EDUCATED PERSON AND AN ILLITERATE

Exactly. And to make issue more unclear OP Said he asked her if she like the guy and she said yes. Liking a person isn’t enough reason for commitment. The girl has to be able to pin point strongly what she likes about him that will make her take the decision of marriage with him. But this education and all is just enough reason to a pointer that things will likely not work out.

heisdvrkskinned:
To achieve that comfort between us, what do you suggest I do with a classy stranger?

start some practical first

Patrioticman007:
No padi for jungle, they say.
However the Nigerian Zoo will always be better than the Biafran Zoo, that turned to cannibalism at the shot of the first gun.
Its a fact, pigs are so useless that they are not kept in Zoo. Who pays to see a pig ?.

Take your frustration else where jare! What did he say for all this story?

Dedetwo:
There is no difference between Abia State and Imo State. After all, Abia came out of Imo.

so as many state. Instead of you to acknowledge that they are just being negligent your are here making a case.

Lovely

Irijosa777:
Please, I want to know if I gave her the right advice.
A friend of mine called me yesterday about a guy seeking her hand in marriage, according to her she met the guy in his office when she went to repair printer, she also said she normally quarrel him most cases when it comes to business, so one day she received a call from him that he like to meet her, He called to tell her he is in love with her that he like her kind of person and he want to marry her, she said that the guy is not even talking about starting a relationship but marriage, because according to her he said he sees her as the right girl for him then my friend told him that she is not interested, for some time she doesn't pick his call or reply his text messages. Through her boss the guy was able to locate her office, then they have one on one conversations about it... The guy said he is ready to marry her this year if she accept to marry him.
So she called me yesterday for my advise, I asked her if she like the guy she said yes but she said the problem is that the guy didn't go to school ( my friend is a graduate and she study software engineering) then I told her not to used education as a criteria to measure the guy, I said as a matter of fact she should not even bring school into the issue (I am not in anyway saying school is not useful, by the grace of God, I am a final student (Edu. Mgt Economics at Uniben) the the most important thing here is that the guy in question have something he is doing, he is not a jobless fellow, (she said he even have two stores) where as there are lots of graduate without job in the society today. So I advised her that she should accept the the guy request if (minus education) the guy is okay by her. She said ok, that she is going to accept the request.
Hope I'm not a bed advisers, did I gave her the right advise, is there anything I should also advise her about, please help, I am not a married person as a matter of fact I am not even in a relationship, that's why I went to confirm if my advise is in order.
thank for reading.

The issue of class will always bring its ugly head later on. Telling her to ignore an issue she is seriously considering is not a wise idea. She is insecure about the guys education and I will conclude that she shouldn’t accept any proposal until she get to conviction of looking above it.

Secondly the guy is bold but just heading for marriage should make the girl step backward alittle. Jump in you jump out.

I drop my pen

dalass:
Her mom isn't lost... Let her mom find her! A mom that left and never bothered to look out for me? How things were with me

I can never look for that person oh if true


Layelaye

Wrong mindset!
Op said no one is telling her anything, and they denied her the truth of her real mother till she became independent not even when she became an adult.

The water of this story is muddy and one has to swim down to know what happens. Father isn’t wanting to speak on it. I smell rat.

Don’t ever jump in conclusions till you understand just enough.

paulolee:
easier said than done...have tried stopping countless times bt still see myself going back to it..
have tried reading the Bible, getting my mind busy with my work but after a while I would still see myself ontop a lady on my bed..
a work colleague invited me to a party last 3 weeks and after the party she said i see her place, we had dinner and she said i sleep over at her place because its late..
she went to bed and she said i should try to sleep on her sofa to avoid temptation because she is in a strong relationship and dnt want to cheat on her fiancee and i agreed..
i remember watching movies wen i slept off on her sofa only for me to wakeup seeing her ontop of me kissing me..
i asked what's going on because i was confused and she said "she knows what she is doing isnt right, thats is a sin against GOD and his man but she just nid sex badly and she prays the lord forgives the both of us" i felt pity for her and gave in..

You understand your person yet you went home with her, which for me I would say you played along. At the point she approached you there is nothing you can do, she really got you.

Godlovesyou28:
I hope to take care of something first; I guess, get stronger physically before going. Am so afraid (I really don't know why). Never been so scared and insecure all my life.

I am so hated in my family (I never thought it'll get to me this much).

I can't sleep anymore and sometimes I don't even remember to eat until after a day or two at times and don't feel notice until I feel too weak to get out of bed. I hate to go out too except its extremely important. I get very angry for no reason at my self and destroy or set my belongings ablaze. Am loosing touch of my business and my sales girls are looting me dry and I don't seem to care.

Why? Can't I fix anything anymore?

You have to start being realistic with things. You are harming yourself more than you are helping issues. You need every bit of your health to find your mom. So please bring yourself to reality and live the reality.

Godlovesyou28:
I type this with so much pain and sense of loss. I found out about two years ago that my step mum is not my real mum (everyone keeps wondering why am just waking up to the obvious).

I grew up being hated by my mum's (now step mum) family, usually beaten, overworked and deprived; but I was told that I was being trained to be strong since I was the first daughter by my mum (now step mum). At age seven I cooked all the meals except my (dads soups) and did all the cleaning. By age ten I cook every single meal at home, wash all the cloths and Iron, clean the house and run all the errands while my siblings both older and younger play and watch TV. I always felt my mum (step mum) will love me just a little bit more if I worked harder; she always told me I was special (and different) and that she loves me so much but does not know how to show it. . It hurt me deeply then that I was different so much so that its expression translated to pain; but that's in my past now and I have no regrets.

Fast forward, am all grown up and fully independent, then a distant relative I helped told me two years ago that my mum is not my real mum with facts. For me it was a relief (I thought there was something wrong with me that made me unloveable and to be treated different and given less, but I know better now). I am more confident knowing she never loved me and that it was no fault of mine.

Now, I just can't move on knowing I have a mother and I want to meet her and ask her questions (why she would dump her child for another woman to raise? Why she never came back to take me? Etc). And also if we could catch-up and be friends maybe.

The problem is that no one wants to tell me anything since most of my family members fear my dad and keep referring me back to my dad; I visited my dad and begged him to tell me who she is (I cried so much that he had to beg me to stop), he asked me to go so he can discuss it with my mum (step mum) but now shouts me down each time I bring up the topic.

I want to find my real mother . l don't know why I can't sleep or think about anything else. I need closure. I have been advised to sue my dad and am considering it. Please help me, I can't bear knowing I have a mother out there and not know who she is. Please help!

Your dad owe you the answer, who knows if he was responsible for her whereabouts ( It is just a suggestion, this is reality). I think some form of wise threat is needed here. I can’t say how you can go about it but he is responsible for your answer.

ZINIBANKS:
Ok no qualm bro I hail bad guy's when I spot them it's not a day job to be a bad guy especially in dating game

Man learnt the hard way o.

heisdvrkskinned:
Oh! So we'd have stuff to talk about if we're comfortable with each other?

Yea infact you don’t have to think while talking it just happens so. But in most initial stage you can and it is advisable you keep chat to a minimum and also leave chat first. Don’t give girl the impression of been jobless to have so much to spend with them. This is different when you guys are committed already.

ZINIBANKS:
Baddest you don old for game
Niggar where you dey stay

I be lag boy o.
But I dey Kwara now

heisdvrkskinned:
Lol. Thanks, bro. What about on calls? Like, some dude can be talking over the phone with any lady for long hours.

long hour talk can only happen with the amount of comfort btw you too. In most cases it is always short.

Na wa demonic possession kwa. All I know is it a sin against God and one have high chances of being distracted and maybe even get infected with disease but I don’t quite agree with most points up there.

heisdvrkskinned:
I understand. What other crucial thing must I know about?

dont play by her rules. Always act like a prince of Uja kingdom anytime around her .
It doesn’t mean to be arrogant o, but by being a prince.
Infact just assume your are a prince but you’re kingdom isn’t here

hashtagged:
Parents are primal, they cannot be replaced your wife can always be replaced or divorced or just leave

Don’t ever find reasons to compare your mother and your wives or even family. They are two different people in different place. I see a lot of peeps always do this.

gift2xl:

What do you think of the Coronavirus and how are you protecting yourself?

This Coronavirus matter, I have not even confirmed it yet. According to what I heard, they said there’s Coronavirus in Nigeria because any state that has Coronavirus, they will give that state one billion naira! So, I think it’s because of the money they are saying there’s Coronavirus in Nigeria!

Lol... This girl get mouth o.

Forget anything the government tells you. Corona virus is very real and neither me, you nor government knows how much it has affected us

sheriffindy:
Both the storyteller and the advisers..all of una get time.. Some Don dey form Al Pacinos and Bad ass guys.. Nairaland, a haven where everyone flexes their muscles, Ndi ara Ndi ara!!!

Dem don trap you abi?

heisdvrkskinned:
How do we build rapport via chats? And which creates attraction more, texts or calls? And moreso, could you give drills on how to not bore her ass off when she comes over, and you both are just chilling? Both with what to say, like the conversations or talks and how to sweep her off her feet whilst you guys are together.

On that rapport of a thing some girls can be very stubborn o and some intentionally keep a stupid padlock not to build such. How to discuss with a girl is quite technical but always make sure you don’t turn chat to an interview by asking unnecessary questions.
I don’t know how to describe this part though one thing I can tell you is when you chat you with your guys you know how you guys talk nah, by talking about past events and some recent issues you heard, same logic goes for every chat. It shouldn’t be everytime, just how are you doing is ok most time.

heisdvrkskinned:
How do we get physical and not come out as a creep or how do we know how to get physical?

I mean physical hangout and spending some time together. It could be just casual at first, then it could be a plan event later, based on the amount of comfortability between you guys.

heisdvrkskinned:
Lmao! How's or what is the best way not to get friendzoned?

Dont do things that friends do with her. Like gisting anyhow or becoming the counselor boy. This doesn’t mean you don’t do some of this things but the major things is that the atmosphere should not be so casual that it loss a romantic touch. This is a bit different when you two are already in relationships

Christiano25:
Thanks. I don’t know what’s the next step after collecting a girls number and want us to meet and so on

If you collect a girls number next thing is just to kind of know each other and do some fun talk.... becareful avoid chat that leads to friendzone o...... That one is another field of its own.

Secondly you must know how to do quality chat and not the interviewer type of chat, you must also understand how much of what to say at each point of the chat.

The format to get a hangout is like “I will like to see you”. Then it shouldn’t be like a real date but a causal hook up is okay.

But truth is any girl who hands you her number is ready to vibe, hangout is okay when you fear she may refuse a date. And it also helps when you have mixed feeling about the person. Hangout exist in many format. I have food and a nice movies I think we can watch it during the weekend is another format.
But before this stage you must have won her trust one kin through chat o. Except she would not come. Meet at an event you too may be attending.

The only importance of chat at the beginning is to build a rapport between you too After this you must get a bit physical except it may die down. The talk plenty jare

Christiano25:
Bro I’m exactly as the ‘op’ I’m fucking introvert and it’s killing me. I can’t approach any lady. I love the step format you drop and will love you to give me few cue on how to go about it. Thanks

day go dark o. But really there is no particular words or steps. As much as you understand what we call social awareness. Any of your behavior are right.
Few of them are.

Talk to girl you like as you would discuss with any random person you are not attracted to.

Don’t ever pretend you don’t like her, show it when necessary.

Give her only things she has earn

Don’t ever show a sign of desperation.

Understand social etiquette both for you and her.

Respect yourself as much as you do for her.

Keep an impression of what you want her to see you like and stick to it. Not what you think she likes to see you like.

Do quality talk and not an interview

Do what you think is appropriate and not what you think she likes.

Lastly: Girls can tell from ten miles if your are a novince so don’t act up too much. Do as your body reach

heisdvrkskinned:
I get. So, how do you approach a perfect 8, 9, 10 walking down the sidewalk in school or your lodge when you go run out for some milk or whatever?

you don’t. A perfect figure will likely never give you such attention because hundreds of guy have reached out to her just like you and have put her on the pedestal and now she is a crowned princess.
To get her attention you must show value in something, some how, just like how a prince behaves. And when you make the approach it should be like a causal approach but with a different shade. Someone who seem not so impressed by her beauty but just wanna vibe with her. You act so comfortable and confident around her and leave when your statement is made. Except she is a runs girl, this sort of girls need patient and time to crack o. It could be fast and it could be slow. You just have to appear like a prince(not by being rich o) but by personalities and she should think you are as good as her or maybe better. The rules for all this are complex o and doesn’t have specific details. The mindset matters most.

Your eye should always be on red alert that you never and should never enter her friendzone. It is better to be her enemy than enter a pretty girl friendzone that you like. Na graveyard be that o.