₦airaland Forum

I swear down, stuff just got real. @Efe that was a baddddddd as's tutorial. In a nut shell, it can get better! You can push yourself and make it better. @Siverbox I know you have deactivated but I hope you are still reading (back to ghostmode)

ksdwedi:
1. Raji Fashola 2. Tam David West 3. Pat Utomi 4. Pastor. Bakare 5. Barth Nnaji 6. Oby ezekwesili 7. Festus Keyamo 8. Emeka Odimegwu 9. Fayemi 10 Mrs Adefuye (outgoing deputy governor).
What of AMAECHI?

Draw up your own list! Op's list is not final

bobolizim:
young?nop...she is a mother...in her 40s

And so bloody what? Is she a child? She has needs. Is your father a saint or priest where he is? Are you not greatful the woman is taking precaution. If you are a young chap, you should learn from her. That's the mature thing to do. Una sef

MarvellousGod:
Am I fighting with you? ? Can't you be a bit polite??
Seems everything na fight in this family section, unfortunately I have no such strength. ... Even the op I asked answered politely and you're here disturbing yourself..



And that meant I was justifying a man trying to strangle his wife? ? I only asked cos I wanted to know what led to the fight, maybe they were exchanging words or something but from what I read later, it's been like that since their childhood, so the man definitely has issues. .

Can a man wake up and start acting weird? ? Except he's mentally ill, I feel there are causes.. is he financially unstable? Is he a drunk or a smoker?.Something must be frustrating him.... That I asked whether the woman is verbally abuse didn't mean I was blaming the woman or justifying the man's action..
To solve a problem, you must know the causes.. Except the op and her mum will run away forever as some people advised. ..

Unfortunately when i read that part of your statement i was pissed off as well. I know you mean well but sometimes (especially in Nigeria) we tend to make excuses for the oppressors and rapi.sts. e.g are you mouthed? did you wear a tight dress that's probably why you were ra.ped. I'm not sure you respect your husband thats why he beat you and the kids. I see it all the time. Very few people say 'hey that's wrong. You should not be repay violence with violence even if the Mrs was rude to you' we are too quick to ask the woman 'what did you do wrong that made your husband beat you?' I'M SICK AND TIRED OF READING STUFF LIKE THAT!

its quite sad and i see it all the time on Nairaland. From what you've just written i can see you didn't mean it like that but that your sentence didn't sound like that to begin with.

redgem:
I know begging and Kneeling is not the solution but my mum does not believe in leaving her matrimonial home... She prefers to stay and face whatever comes her way like how she's being doing since they married. Sometimes I even blame my mum for her silence all these years, she gets hurt and keeps on protecting him.. We went to his room this morning and he acted like he was asleep, so we left. Dad is currently calling people from the village telling them that I called police for them to arrest him, changing the truth and spoiling mum's name.

About taking the job if I leave her alone in the house, I fear for what will happen to her... She's not young any more, my mum's siblings stays in bayelsa, she has no one around my younger sis is still in the uni and she's scared of talking to dad cos he had threatened her for not funding her fees. My younger bro is still a boy and he can't say anything. The only people she has ar her pastor and church members who dad swore that if he sees any of them in his house, he will pour them hot water.

I'm sorry but i feel like slapping some sense into your head. Listen up young lady, it's time you went your own way. If you have a job in Lagos MOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Your mother has chosen to remain in such a toxic environment regardless. If you were not born perchance, she would not move an inch so ask yourself WHY SHOULD I PUT MY LIFE ON HOLD FOR HER?

Are you telling me that if someone proposes to you tomorrow you will say no because you want to remain in your father's house and continue protecting your mum? What a shame! Listen, get on with your life and can i tell you that environment is toxic for you as well. Do you know there is a tendency for an abused child to marry (or date) an abusive man tomorrow? Go and check the statistics.

Its in their psyche and they can't help but act out that script unless by some stroke of luck or grace. I see you already kneeling and begging for what is not your fault or business. If you aint careful, you will accept abuse like that tomorrow and fall on your knees and beg (God forbid though). Please you need to have good friends (not rude friends) that will BOOST your ego and remind you this thing (abuse) is not right.

Abuse is a cycle; don't remain in it if there is a clear way out. Your younger sister is still in school and she needs his help; thats a different thing. If you have a job or an opportunity, MOVE IT! Your mother has chosen to remain, that is her decision. You make your own decision. Good luck to you.

pickabeau1:
The simple end is to tell her respectfully that you don't want to be dragged in between them
They are your parents and they should solve their marital problems themselves

When next she comes after this, tell her you have an engagement and leave the space

God bless you. That's my take on it as well

marque:
The way my mum bad mouths my dad in our presence just to make us have resentment for him is troubling. So I came here to share the problem and see if I can probably put an end to it.

I know its hard but try to mind your business. From your description, I take it that your parents are not kids in marriage (well over 15 years I imagine)

They know how they have managed themselves all this while and they have survived. Don't be tempted to put mouth inside married people matter even your parents. Don't take sides with any of them. Just pray for them and keep mum.

Next time your mum carry matter for you to judge, just say 'hmn, it is well. It is okay'

That way you are not taking sides and you don't have to apologise ontop their matter. Don't worry they will make up as they have always done. The relationship between husband and wife is sooooo complicated. Even this one when you dey ginger for your papa, do you know if they know something you don't know!

NB: it has worked for me now mumsie nor dey even judge for me again.

RiffRaff:
What is with myopic people and their obsession with virgins? dude, i don't care if my wife is a virgin or not. what ever she has done before she meet me is of no consequence. you might be obsessed with virgins but to me, my sense of value of a woman is not based on weather she has had sex or not....
Virgin this, virgin that... Are you a Virgin yourself?

Yes

aflyingbird:
idk why u would be angry at her or rude to her . she hasn't done anything wrong . this isn't harrassment either , smdh. she smiles at u and acts awkwardly around u because she has a crush on u. she's only 16 , she can't help it. even older pple get crushes. her actions are innocent n cute. she even decreases ur money so u won't be spending a lot, awww. talk to her , ask her abt school , what she wants to be when she grows up , her family , etc . be friendly but professional , lol. here's ur chance to make something good out of this : u can be like a big brother or a mentor . she's obviously too intimidated to talk to you n you aren't smart enuff to know that she just has a crush on u and isn't trying to disturb u or make u feel uncomfortable in any way ! u only see her when u get water anyway . ur short encounter will be less awkward if u break the ice and talk to her. if u can't be bothered then just ignore her but there's no reason to be rude or mean to her

I really really don't see the need for this. If I were op I would just ignore her. I won't even break sweat over this issue.

agarawu23:
thanks oga
that girl wey u see stubborn o

Lolz. God bless your family bros.

@agarawu23 your daughter is toooooooooo small to be flogged. Don't accept it as normal! Those days are long gone. There are ways to discipline a child now. Thank you

Lovely pics

RiffRaff:
It is your business if u decide not to have sex in a relationship...
As far as i am concerned, it is a free world. Wether you choose to have sex or not is a personal decision.
My biggest grouse with this write up is terming Sex is as "immorality".
Sex is a beautiful part of nature. As long as 2 conscenting adult decides to have sex & it is not rape. There is absolutely nothing immoral about it.
Everybody should find their own kind. You wanna keep yourself till marriage, fine.. Goodluck to you!
Let those who wants to have sex do so by all means. Different strokes for different strokes.
People should stop quoting retarded lies from fabricated middle eastern & Jewish Religion and fairytale God to back up the claim that sex is "Dirty or Immoral"
Dont feel guilty about something as amazing & beautiful as sex, its an important part of nature.
So ladies and gentlemen, have sex, learn more about it, improve on it, make sure you stay PROTECTED always and if you choose not to, make sure you are always ready for what comes after.
Cheers!

I hope you won't be finding fresh virgin to marry. I hope you won't mind if your wife has been round the block a couple of times. After all the sex is amazing. There is no immorality there and she is free to what she likes with her body.

dre11:
These are traces of an unstable minded guy and I don't know how some girls/ladies could think of having a home with these guys without some problems be ause of his temperament.




Am sure the guy would have both emotionally and physically abuse this girl in the course of this relationship and she never backed out or see it as something that is the norm...... Thinking she would change him/ or he would change when he become a father ........







Wasted life

Please help me tell them. So many times I struggle to pity women like this. You see the signs yet you continue. I am talking to you yes YOU! He is slapping you now and shoving you aside roughly. He pushes you and takes your phone away and when you ask for it, he can hit you or fling your stuff at you. That's how it starts. Bad temper. Pick your shoe, put on your head and run. If you marry him or have his baby, na you sabi!

I can never forget this film even if i tried so hard. I dont watch any other type of Indian film. This was it for me

vizkiz:
yeah you'v gat a point though...but that doesn't stop anybody from hustling hard/better!

You are such a big rude fool. Its simply amazing how small your sense is. Did he complain to you about his TV?

Its amazing how Ugochi keeps saying she loves him.

By the way, why are her parents acting as a stumbling block to the young couple? Why not allow the man marry with what he can afford? Abi who will marry Ugochi now she has two kids?

Ogechi, I hope you have not used their son to do money medicine? Hian see wahala!

EzePromoe:
[color=#DC143C]You can't post anyone's picture without obtaining permission from that person.[/color]

Okay

Princessonelove:
She's very beautiful. Light skin, very long real hair but her sister Achukwunet is prettier IMO. She was a nice MOD sha although she banned me once!

Lolzzzzzzzzzz. Heard her MO was to ban but they say she brought sanity to her section. Lol

Congrats to the winner. I listened to your voice message after learning that you won. It was okay. Personally i'm glad this pageant stuff is over for this year. I'm glad i wont have to deal with seeing TWACI on every thread i enter. I didn't vote for anyone but i wouldn't have voted for TWACI in particular cos of the amount of spam i saw from that individual and her campaign managers. I got no personal thing against anyone sha. Good luck to them all.


I beg someone needs to open a thread with all the pictures of all Nairaland's beauty queen. I would love to feast my eyes on them especially the Ogugua (the first queen) i hear she is a reallllllllllllllllll beauty and was a tough but effective mod in those days.

cc Dygeasy can you help with a nice thread celebrating our queens (picture included) from inception.

Martiyu:
Well, from my perspective, I never really had much interaction with ladies. I knw what menses is but I only talk about it on phone with my distant love. It could be heart rending at times, u know? The incessant stomach ache and some attendant pains. The least I could do is try to comfort her as best I could.

But m scared I might hate her if it really comes down to having body contact with her when she is going tru dz natural ritual. The reason being that about few months ago, I got friendly with this girl and on one of her visits, we were just having one of those harmless plays and I smelled blood. Oh! U surprised? My nose is very sensitive. Instantaneously, I withdraw myself cos it kinda was repulsive and since then, I reclined and refrained from getting close. She noticed a change in my attitude and did all that she could (cajoled, teased, begged, coerced) to know what her offence was... But how would I tell her, wait! What would I tell her.

The problem now is, I can't even see any girl now without having to recall that repelling and unwelcoming incident. And to think all girls go through that? Gosh!

So, reaction of some guys could stem from one or more of some actions, events, experiences and what have you.

It does not matter how old you are just know you are a child. Dont rush and get married. You need to work on yourself a bit.

butanep:
I know you are confused... when you made up your mind....

Kindly vote for TOPAHZ....


You will be glad you did...

ok

I vote for no one. Keep voting people.

This is just heartbreaking jo!

babyosisi:
I am sad you deactivated
You shouldn't have
Your story gives another perspective to this love and marriage thing and you shared from the heart
Thanks for sharing it and keeping this thread real.I like the no pretense style all the contributors here have adopted, the readers can feel it

You know what,like you i later found out also why my ex,the now rich Abuja politician wasn't meant for me
He now has a second wife.

Bless you and may God bless your union and fill your hearts with joy and laughter,binding you with cord that cannot be broken
Amen

Oh goodness me! Why did she deactivate? Her story tugged at the strings of my heart. Still on page 42. Let me go back and continue...

rightthing276:
First of all, I want to start by saying I created this Account, just to remain annonymous for now.

My story

In May 2014, Access Bank started A Project called Project ART. The ART means Account Reactivation Team.

Access Bank recruited DSAs (Via various Out sourcing firms)from All over Nigeria with the job function of Reactivating and opening New Accounts. They made all sorts of promises to us which I would highlight below

The Bank said, We would be paid a basic salary of 40,000Naira. Every other extra earnings would come from incentives. The incentive structure was thus, if you open or reactivate an account and the customer takes an ATM card, you get 100 naira, if a customer subscribes for Mobile Banking, another 100 naira, if they subscribe for internet banking, Another 100 naira. Meaning, a DSA can make as much as 300 naira per account. So if I'm able to sign on like 1000 accounts in a month, I can make as much as 200,000 after gathering and counting my 100 Naira. This was really a good deal

The bank set the monthly target at 200 accounts and said, if you can achieve above 200 accounts, that's an A* (A star) grade for the month, if by 6 months, you get an A* in your appraisal, you will get an ipad and a recommendation letter for being outstanding and if by the end of one year, you get an A*

In your annual appraisal, you will be sent to Access bank training school and converted to a full staff of Access bank.
The MD of Access Bank himself, Herbert Wigwe, came out himself and addressed DSAs, highlighting and affirming all these promises, So we were to be sure that it wasn't another recruitment scam.

Hearing all these good news from the horse's mouth was really a spur and so there and then, a lot of us made up our minds to succeed.

So we started work and a lot of people hit and surpassed the targets, you should have seen the way my colleagues worked hard, opening accounts; I mean ALL kinds: Salary , students, regulars, co-operates etc. Some people even travelled outside Lagos to open accounts and get deals. It was that serious.

NB: The DSAs where placed under the supervision of full staff, each team had 10 DSAs and 3 proffessional staff. The structure was, The DSAs would source for the accounts and tag it to the MIS codes of the full staff, meaning, if I work, it would count for some one else in the bank, so basicaly, the full staff would just sit down and be pressing computer, inside AC,while the DSAs would do the Hustling.

Two months into the job, Access bank reduced the basic salary from 40 to 35,000 naira, giving reasons that it was a deduction for health insurance and till today, we did not sign any papers to that effect. Lots of people couldn't take it and so they resigned, infact, that was when the project started loosing core materials(human Assets).

Some people held on, for the hope ahead. By the 3rd month, lots of people were on A*, they met and surpassed the Target. So Access bank maybe did profit and loss and increased the target to 400 accounts a month.

This was the point where I feared my colleagues. There was this girl, Goodness from VI team, that girl is good! There were others like Otaigbe same VI team, there was Lara, Ikeja team, Mayowa too and there was this other born-again girl like that. I call this one Principality mehn! Her name Esther from Apapa team. I think by the end of the project, she was the over all best, I mean National best. I heard her grade was around 150%. That's like an A superstar. She was a game changer and I admired her secretly.

Meanwhile, the first set of incentives came in the 3rd month which was july, the second set came in September so you can imagine people feeding off on 35k for like two months. By the time the incentive started coming in, it was nothing to write home about: people were getting as low as 3000, 6000, 1500. Someone even got 100 naira as I heard. Customers where not funding the accounts immediately, others didn't want ATM cards.

By October, the 3rd set of incentive was suppose to be out and paid, that was were we got the bulkest of incentives since the beginning of the Project. At least, I saw mine was arround 31k but guess what? It has not been paid even as we speak! Since October 2014.

To cut a long story short, by December, Access bank called off the project. I guess the DSAs had fufilled the mission before the set time. So DSAs were put on hold till the verdict was announced on who and who would go to training school. By this time, a lot of people had left, some other waited but the bank wasn't communicating anything to the DSA and so others left too as they lost hope.

Most of these people who left were the real materials while most of those who remained were junks. When a DSA leaves, his work is divided amongst his other colleagues, meaning, if we are 10 and 5 leave, all there accounts would be shared to the thus boosting the grades of some of those junk heads who remained. So most of those left overs would then be having grades like D to C and before you know it A, even when they didn't really work for it. Just a few did work for it Like Principality, Goodness, Otaigbe, Kunle, Lara, Rotibi as I can remeber.

By March this year, the verdict was taken. The full staff had been graded and paid bonuses based on the works of the DSAs, and so the DSAs were expectant. Training school was sure for some even though the Ipad had not yet come and it was past six months.

Guess what the bank did, they reposted the DSAs left to a new team to continue as DSAs- no promotion, no training school, just imagine! No salary upgrade, same 35,000 niara, infact no communication on incentives too.

This is very painful and I'm using this medium to say "Dear Herbert Wigwe, dear Toba Olusola, dear Victor Otuokwu, this is not what you promised us". We feel used and dumped, you told us yourselves that we would be staffed and if you cannot fuffil your obligation to your first customer(your Staff), then I doubt if your second customers should take you seriously. This is an intergrity issue as well.

Some of my colleagues were sacked for stealing and suppressing cash, Access bank has stolen and suppressed over 8 months of our lives and I tag it an intergrity issue as well.

Yesterday, we heard that finally, the Ipad for the exceptional DSAs was ready and guess what, The bank has been disbursing them to those junk heads and has refused to give to those who stayed till the end of the project and also qualified for the Ipads before leaving, saying that provision was not made for those who left. This is so wrong, it is their hard work, Access bank was suppose to give them in October but didn't, why won't you give them the reward of their labour now? Its just like saying you won't pay someone who left your job an outstanding 3 months salary because they left

Dear Herbert, Dear Bolaji, this is another intergrity issue.

Please MODS, move this to the right Spot until appropraite decisions are taken.

Disclaimer: to all those whose names were mentioned, you never can tell, I may have just helped you communicate all you have been unable to say, I may have just helped you get your due reward so don't get angry but be hopeful for a blessing.

It is well. Things like this break my heart. It is well...

Heartbreaking. Very sad sad stuff

dre11:
http://pulse.ng/local/in-lagos-residents-terrified-as-mosque-collapses-in-surulere-id3767520.html

A Mosque has reportedly collapsed on Sunday, May 17 in Surulere, Lagos.



Thank goodness for its mercy that no life was lost

Really

Zohan:
You don't need to. I care less

Same ere. Waka

Zohan:
Sorry, it was past 6 pm here.

I really don't give a fuk buddy!