SwtNsoFLyy's Posts
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 Family › Re: Why Do White People Divorce So Frequently And For Flimsy Reasons? by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 4:31pm On Sep 12, 2007 |
You have some solid strong points here. Altho, i think its a good thing when someone comes into our lives and their character gives us the desire to change for the better. My pastor once spoke in church about how his wife changed. He was a man of God, and she was drinking 'wine coolers' and smoking cigarettes. She even cursed him out, and he still loved her. She said there was something about him that wanted her to change her ways. Today, they lead the congregation in some very powerful ways, and their testimony is very encouraging. People can and do change for the better when the right one comes along, as long as it is not for the 'wrong' reasons and as u said, it creeps up on them later, love & light |
| Romance › Re: Women Vs Money by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 4:12pm On Sep 12, 2007 |
Its all according to one's state of mind. Some men would prefer to have financial security to make sure that he can take care of his wife later on in life. Then again, some men may realize that God is the creator of everything, including riches that he will add onto him and his wife. Not all men are positions to make large amounts of money, and what if it never happens in his entire life? He may be moneyless and womanless. It could even be the support of a woman that encourages a man grow into his potential wealth in life. Thats what love is about. With patience, trust in the Lord, all things are possible, and the money will flow like honey. I think its all within some ORDER of God's Universe,, tho, as mentioned, its according to one's state of mind. There is no wrong or right in this matter. I would like to see a man that genuinely has the Lord God as head of his life, choose according to his conviction. God says, "a man that finds a wife, finds a good thing". Yet, we all know that good women (and men) are not found everyday, and she could very well be the missing ingredient he needs to come into his riches, love & light, |
| Family › Re: Why Do White People Divorce So Frequently And For Flimsy Reasons? by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 6:43am On Sep 12, 2007 |
People that divorce for flimsy reasons, do not have any respect for the covenant of marriage or God. I believe in marriage for life, however when a man abuses his wife or child, God does not want the innocent person to suffer. All marriages are not of God. some people marry for the wrong reasons, money, LOOKS, etc without Gods approval or confirmation, and then wander why it didn't work out. Patience is a virtue, when it comes to choosing the right mate to spend the rest of our lives with. People stay in marriages because their needs are being met financially, spiritually, emotionally, physically & sexually. When God is the foundation, divorce will never be an option , love & light. 1 Like |
| Family › Re: Joint Account With My Spouse? by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 6:27am On Sep 12, 2007 |
Two accounts are sufficient in a marriage. One joint account for the family to attend financial obligations and food, etc,. and one savings account for emergencies and vacation planning. Too many accounts are unnecessary, when they both can agree on a set amount for them to spend leisurely. How a family handles their finances is very important, as people often divorce over financial matters that can be avoided with communication and respect for the family's overall welfare. So, its really important to establish an understanding, to get ahead with a financial surplus in the household versus a deficit,, and living from pay check to pay check, I would agree to helping extended family as well, tho I would always consult with my spouse before making a decision without his knowledge or consent. He may choose not to for whatever reasons,, and I will respect his final decision as the head of our home , tho, when i am upset. i do tend 2 shop abit more, hehe,  love & light, |
| Forum Games › Re: Make A Wish by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 5:56am On Sep 12, 2007 |
I wish (pray) for God's will to be done in my life. , Use me as he see fits for me to be used as a vehicle to help others according to God's will. I wish (pray) for the flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone to come into my life soon and we work together in worldwide music & dance ministry. I wish (pray) for abundance & growth in less fortunate countries every night , and wish that my prayers are answered very soon, love & light |
| Nairaland General › Re: What Word Best Qualifies You? by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 5:41am On Sep 12, 2007 |
ideal love & light |
| Romance › Re: Why Do People Cheat In Relationships? by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 6:55am On Sep 10, 2007 |
I've never cheated on anyone in my life, and just can't understand how someone could bring themselves to cheat on their spouse,, and even girlfriend /boyfriend, I know that relationships are not peaches & cream, tho having been cheated on in my past,, this is the majour fear that possibly keeps me from getting involved and sadly maintaining trust , because of that,, I may have a commitment problem. At the slightest sign of unfaithfulness now, I become scared like a little girl, and run away from love or the onset of pain, without even sticking around to give any benefit of doubt. This is a true ISSUE that I have to tackle all because of CHEATING HEARTS out there. it can be so damaging to some people ,  (like me)love & light, |
| Family › Re: Your Most Hated Household Chore? by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 8:24pm On Sep 09, 2007 |
I dont mind cleaning at home, when I have some good mellow relaxing muzik to listen to, besides,, we ladies know when a visitor comes into the home, it represents us. and its got to be done. Its just tiring sometimes when we have to so many other things too. Having to clean up behind others not picking up behind themselves,, does NOT make me happy, AT ALL!!!  love & light. love & light |
| Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: How Can I Toast A Girl by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 6:52pm On Sep 09, 2007 |
LOL Saucekid. YOu're too funny. Tho I'm learning what 'toasting' means, I was also wandering how a man does this,, and looking for some idea, tho in your case I see the guy getting a refund on this one. LOL, love & light, |
| Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: Olanajim ~ The Philosophical Motivator. This Is For You. by SwtNsoFLyy(op): 5:52pm On Sep 09, 2007 |
, and this too shall come to pass, its a part of my mission in life and only just a matter of God making the right "connections" for the beginning of the great change, Lest I speak no further on the subject and wait on God to start moving in his timing , stay encouraged, and again, thank u for being such a gentleman that we women should recognize more of. LOL, hope u dont take that wrong, love & light, |
| Family › Re: Would You Marry A Girl Who Earns Twice Your Salary? by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 5:16pm On Sep 09, 2007 |
well, i see alot of VALID points from the ladies and men, I don't see a problem with the woman making more as long as there is understanding that the relationship can't sustain "life" if both partners dont take on their rightful roles and contribute their best for the marriage to survive WITHOUT tripping. A confident man should not have a problem with his woman making more money, especially if God has gifted her to be multi talented. That should be his pride and joy, and should not impact on her decision to submit wholly to her man. Woman and men both are just losing touch with the basis of our roles, regardless of who makes more money. Im sure any woman of God, making more than her man likewise, would equally want to share her success and happiness with whom God puts before her, and would not have a problem with the understanding of who is the head. That woud be defying God's order, One partner's weakness may be another's strength. thats how we maintain that balance and harmony. Tho, the imbalance comes into effect when the gold diggers that want to ride someone's success,, and come in all races & genders that both men and women must be watchful for, Im glad that i think 'outside' the box. LOL love & light, |
| Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: Olanajim ~ The Philosophical Motivator. This Is For You. by SwtNsoFLyy(op): 4:44pm On Sep 09, 2007 |
@ Olanajim, you have such a warm spirit, I am definately going to email you. LOL. My kind of friend. tho changing the subject, i must say, the reason I left our 'land' is due to the slavery era, and was born and raised in U.S. My curiosity now, is knowing more of my people in Africa, and paying whatever it costs to find out where my roots are in Africa, and even if I have relatives. I surely hope so, and it would be so pleasing to my heart if i even had distant family on this forum, haha, and if thats the case. .get ready folks, im coming home to some dancing, good food and catching up on lost times. LOL, be blessed bruh and i do look forward to meeting some of my new Nairalander friends when God permits me to travel to Nigeria, love & light, |
| Romance › Re: If Condom Was To Be Banned And Hiv Is Real What Will You Do? by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 4:35pm On Sep 09, 2007 |
LOL, What a question!  and quite entertaining reading the replies, I dont know tho, because some sex 'craved' people will have a hard time dealing with reverting to abstinance. For all others, sticking to your spouse would be the best suggestion for those who creep and sneak behind their partners backs. I'm cellibate for the most of 10 years, and dont have to prove myself , so banning of condoms wouldn't make me any difference. I just feel for teens and young adults who dont have the kind of guidance or self control it takes to overcome sexual urges, love & light, |
| Family › Re: In Love With My Ex by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 4:11pm On Sep 09, 2007 |
Those feelings do surface when ur younger as babeelove said, and as u get older u learn how to cope with the feelings. When we love someone, they become a part of our soul, and we have a soul~tie with them thats hard to severe. But as you remind urself why they're ur X in the first place, and that you deserve better you will think of them less, and breath better, Im a firm believer, that once we turn away, there is no turning back when it comes to relationships. Use your better judgement and be CONFIDENT in your decision in the first place, versus being a man of double mind and doubting yourself. The bible says a man with a double mind is unstable in all his ways.,, the pain of lost love hurts, but know it feel ten times better when u allow urself to move forward to a new beginning. Dont lose out on ur true blessings, all because you want to step back in to the past. Your happiness awaits you in the present and future, not reliving the past sweetie, but just follow God's guidance and ur heart, love & light, Natalie |
| Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: Olanajim ~ The Philosophical Motivator. This Is For You. by SwtNsoFLyy(op): 2:54pm On Sep 09, 2007 |
oh yes, I have also most definately noticed how others contribute, and It deepens my sense of belonging and wanting to be here the more. Especially the funny replies, I sit here sometimes and crack up laughing and just enjoy myself at the ladies and guys' responses. LOL, Wishing that I was in Nigeria meeting new friends, so I could sit and laff in real time versus via this internet. LOL I just don't always reply however. The point of my post, is to say that you have a very positive trait in your character as a man that I noticed. I'm a very observant person, and have quite a discerning spirit when it come to others. There is another guy too, and I enjoy his readings, can't think of his name at the moment. I enjoy reading his journal. I didnt mean to put you on the spot like that >LOL and I'm sorry if I did, but I couldn't find a way to send a private message so i made this a public broadcast announcement from USA to Africa. LOL be blessed bruh, love & light |
| Romance › Re: All For Love by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 2:36pm On Sep 09, 2007 |
@ poster. Thats all according to what you classify as 'illiterate', do you mean in not as highly educated? Or simple inability to communicate as in, they just don't have a clue about progressing forward in life? People may view this in a couple of ways, I can marry a man who may not have as much 'book' knowledge as I, because he may not have afforded the opportunity. He may be a powerful force in our relationship to bring both of us to higher ground. Just because I would have abit more education doesnt excel me above him at all. So in this sense, if he is "illiterate" in someone's eyes because he hasn't gone to a University or secondary schooling, its ok by me, I would be wiling to look beyond and give him a chance to prove his compabitility and if its what God has ordained, AND CONFIRMED, (gotta have that confirmation baby. )  Now. On the OTHER hand. As someone may have mentioned, I have seen people graduate school who slept in class, and don't have the least CLUE whats going on. They hold a degree, but even the most 'authentic' piece of paper doesn't put them above a man or woman who is more driven & determined , and have not had that opportunity. Or another illerate type ,, someone who thinks, acts, and behaves in such a way that is not a positive challenge to my mental growth as a partner. If you can not hold an intelligent conversation with that person beyond 'I LOVE YOU' or 'you're so fine' , OK. so now that we've established this, for the record, how do we move forward from this point? that is the question. If they can't seem to parallel your motivational drive, why invest energy, when its all about knowing yourself and what you desire complimentary wise in your partner's sense of himself, his intellect, and his communication level when they clearly don't display such characteristics? So these 2 types of illlerate men? NO man, NO. LOL I think not.I don't think that any one person is better than another, tho there are boundaries that we must establish and stand firm by. love & light |
| Romance › Re: You Tell Ur Guy Or Girl I Love And The Reply Was Always Fadding Away: Why? by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 1:36pm On Sep 09, 2007 |
I would like to think that both MEN AND WOMEN would just stop playing mind games when it comes to saying, "I Love You" to someone that is taking their words to heart. A damaged heart is one of the most dreadful pains from which anyone will slowly recover. I don't know what you mean by, "Is the relationship still cool?" , tho you will feel when a person is not really on the same vybe as you are. We just deny it and somewhat brainwash our own minds into thinking they really do love us, After all, we mean it from our hearts. Shouldn't they, so we do think? It sounds as if they are pulling away, to an extent, because if you must ask then your instinct is whispering the same. This is the voice that we oftentimes don't listen to. Since we choose not to, it leads to further pain down the road. I have been a fool for love, tho its painful,, I don't regret being the woman that I am in expressing my true self to the object of my desire. We just have to know when its time to move along, carrying our pain and pride, the right one will come along without pulling our heartstrings too painfullly, when its right, its always beautiful, not just when THEY decide to shed what they consider love on us. Love is a constant flowing of communication, outside of sex, upliftment and desiring to talk to, or be with one another as often as possible. When u find your love losing their appetite, it may very well that they are not as hungry for you as they SAY, I LOVE YOU. is more than just 3 words. Watch their actions and ability to communicate such to you, God bless |
| Nairaland General › Re: Hello Nairaland Family: I Am New, Please Welcome Me With Open Arms: by SwtNsoFLyy(op): 5:58am On Sep 09, 2007 |
well, i most certainly do appreciate all the love from my fellow sistas & brothas in Naija, love & light, always, Natalia |
| Dating And Meet-up Zone › Olanajim ~ The Philosophical Motivator. This Is For You. by SwtNsoFLyy(op): 5:27am On Sep 09, 2007 |
If I am not posting this in the correct forum, please forgive me ahead of time, for I have sinned against the board rules. , but I am going to post this. @Olanajim, Man. u are so da bomb. I have not been on Nairaland for very long, and I must honestly say that I find myself looking forward to reading your replies to alot of the questions with intent on LEARNING something innovative from what i consider a REAL man's perspective. For real. I'm sure that you have gained much respect from the older members of the board, as well the admin has learned a thing or two himself as far as tact is concerened in choice of words, What I've come to realize, is alot of times we WOMEN often fail to realize is that, we go out looking for fulfilment of 'love' and oftentimes look for all the wrong characteristics that guys may portray, or even 'perpetrate' to be something they clearly are NOT, yet overlook the exact intelligent and sound mind qualities that you exhibit each and EVERY time you speak. I respect that. It's real reassuring and so positive to see when a brotha can mentally stimuate a person to think outside of the 'box'. This is a very important character that you possess, that is really needed in building strong black communities of unity and stitching those GAPS between our people, regardless of TRIBES, Africans and African Americans. I can envision you with a high level of success in your lifetime, because you are really 'with it', Not about mind games, 'player' mentality,, and I don't view u as the type men to see what you can gget from a chik, be it monetary gain or othewise. The reason for this post is to say THANK YOU for representing as the levelheaded type of man that more women should look up to, and looook for such characteristics that u possess. I say this also, because I did find myself getting consumed in supposedly 'love', when in fact, there is no mental stimulation. Anybody can write a sweet poem, talk about God, and say I love u over and over again, but that plays out after awhile, but when a man can mentally stimulate a woman to THINK in philosophocal terms, , THATS what its all about. Having someone by your side that speaks logically and have intelligent conversations to make a woman THINK, also allows the person to grow. versus WACK conversations that ain't hitting on nothing. LOL I think a man as your intellect and reasoning would be a good business partner, because you seem as if you got it together, weather u do or not, Regardless, I relate more to men and women who think deeply , cuz THIS is the level I'm on. You're going to go places, so keep on posting bruh. I enjoy it, love & light, Natalia |
| Romance › Re: No Finance, No Romance! by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 8:48am On Sep 07, 2007 |
I'm greatful that I've never developed the attitude of "NO Finance, NO Romance". This is setting a high expectation at the expense of one's happiness in the long run, unless they dont care if they just settle for less in the finer things in life. Just because someone has alot of money, doesn't mean you will be happy as an ending result. It may very well be possible, if you land a man/woman with money who are in your social circle, same wavelength, and compatibility level, however I find that if we just look beyond this mentality long enough to search out what really makes us happy, its that ONE gentleman who the money hungry women overlook,, is the diamond in the rough, to prove himself to be prize that I will lay my eyes on , For me, its all about his relationship with God, his potential TO make money and the woman's support in helping him along the way. Friendship first, satisfy what your heart desires, give the guy with potential a chance, and in the right timing, money will follow. Its all about personal perspectives , love & light, |
| Romance › Re: What Would You Do For Love ? by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 8:25am On Sep 07, 2007 |
Anything within my power to help him reach his highest potential in all areas of his life in a submissive, yet strong position. Im a true believer in the philosophy. "the Journey of a man, begins with the strength of a woman" Being his backbone when he confides his weakness to me and his cushion when he falls is a big key in truly loving our mates. love & light |
| Romance › Re: Have You Noticed by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 8:07am On Sep 07, 2007 |
While I agree there are alot of beautiful ladies out there for the guys to choose from, when we break down their characters of intellect or lack of, what virtues they add to a relationship, versus the famous 'gold digging' trophy (as I have alot of celebrity friend fallen prey to) virtuous woman versus miss loosy, a woman who knows how to carry herself publically yet freakd her man in the privacy of HIS domaine, versus chiks freaking anybodys man who will give them play, or even a dollar, to name a few character comparasions, Tho, after we break down characters, the equation of man vs the PREFERRED woman balances abit close on the scale,, granted we are speaking of men of similar calabres that are available. (with the exception of doods taking anything they can) I wouldnt be intimidated with a beautiful woman, because we all have different characteristics about ourselves, that different men search for. Besides, she may open her mouth, and her conversation alone may turn off a good man, freeing him up to be a catch for one of the other lucky ladies in the masses , there may be more women vs men, giving them a variety to choose from, but I think its the confident woman who knows what she wants , is the one who will ultimately gain his trust and love because she will be a 'mirror' image of what he represents, and is looking for. Nothing less, nothing more. love & light. |
| Romance › Re: Can Age-Gap Relationships Last? by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 7:45am On Sep 07, 2007 |
Yes it can, especially in the event they marry. An advantage in older women / younger men relationships is the likelyhood of both partners in their sexual peak/prime, Some younger gentlemen would rather choose the age gap and actually realize that women who take good care of themselves,, also become sexier, more focused and just 'with it' as they get older. I personally am not attracted to guys my age or even older guys, as they tend to let themselves go, and LOOK older than they really are, love & light, 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: What Do You Consider Romantic? by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 7:33am On Sep 07, 2007 |
telling me that whatever makes me happy will make him happy, Singing to me, having fun and doing silly things I ask him to do on the phone, without getting angry. LOL love & light, |
| Romance › Re: How Do You Know You Are In Love? by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 6:50am On Sep 07, 2007 |
-> I am thinking of him, and he calls or sends a text the exact same time, saying the exact same things on my mind - > and we both agree, its got to be love, -> When we have misunderstandings, tension builds after a lil argument, and suddenly we say at the SAME time, I LOVE YOU, -> I find myself lying around and hours fly by & my heart flutters just holding a pillow thinking about him. -> When I have those silly smiles on my face, and others see a positive change in my character. -> When I pray to God for confirmation, then 2 days later he calls to say he just dreamed God has spoken to him about me, -> Only his special ring tone can wake me in the middle of a deep sleep and I jump up like a silly kid on christmas day. ->the BESt part of knowing I am in love, The little things that ONLY he can say with 'mystery' to stilmulate my mind wide open to think one way or 'another' and give me butterflies & heighten my arousal. YET has never gotten 'fresh' with me a single day in our friendship. I love a good man that knows how to choose his words wisely in revealing his "bad boii" side , just to name a few, among so many more ideals. Love is a such a beautiful thing , love & light, |
| Romance › Re: Relationships Across The Ocean by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 7:04am On Sep 06, 2007 |
I agree with JeSoul, both people have to want it, and be consistent in showing they care in order for it to work. When one person seems to give more than the other, sooner or later the one doing most of the giving may just give up. Some tend to overuse the words "I Love You", with no true sentiment supporting these words. Be watchful of their actions, they speak louder than words. I have seen it work and im sure it was worth the time & effort for those who managed to hold on to their love love & light, |
| Romance › Re: What Guys Dislike In A Relationship by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 6:08pm On Sep 04, 2007 |
wow. its really good to hear what guys really feel and like in their ladies, haha, i can't help but wander if any of them are speaking from 'experience'. LOL I havent read anyone mentioning those girls who enjoy sports, knows when to give him 'space', or a submissive nature. Maybe thats not important to most guys, God bless, and thx for the insights, love & light, |
| Romance › Re: Ladies, What Type Of Guy Do You Like And Men, What Type Of Ladies Do You Desire by SwtNsoFLyy(f): 6:01pm On Sep 04, 2007 |
A man of integrity & solid faith in his walk with God FIRST & foremost. Handsome, gentle, caring,, yet the only one that I will hold enough respect to submit to. Same interests in becoming self sufficient financially with an entrepreneur business mentality. Strong desire to impact on humanity. Strong conviction & self restraint with resisting outside temptation of our marriage, just as I have. Confident, not jealous but questions accordingly to show that he cares. Someone that I can share the good, bad & ugly, as we have open communication & intune to work out problems. My best friend 4 life, & the ONLY man that I can comfortably retire with in bed for the evening, as we pray, discuss our day, and make passionate love when the mood hits us, which I hope will be at least daily,  A husband that can arouses me with a simple thought of his name, and proves to be good lover will put the sweetest icing on the cake, , this type of man will indeed, be God's greatest gift to me ever , love & light, |
| Romance › Re: My Nigerian Heartbreak: by SwtNsoFLyy(op): 11:05pm On Sep 02, 2007 |
@d_chosen1 ~ we have decided to remain good friend, tho it can be hard when u care, but yes, I do intend on maintaining hopes that the right man will find me, vs vice versa. Whatever God has in store, im waiting on, I agree with Olanajim as usual. LOL. I dont think categorizing all Nigerian men is cool, same applies to men in general. There are some good men in this world,. Finding a good man is truly a hard task for a woman however, love & light, |
