₦airaland Forum

Genius100: What culture are you talking about? Are you not Yoruba? In Yoruba culture, the bride's family is supposed to pay for the entire wedding..

u are very correct, i am a yoruba woman and in yoruba culture its d wife dat owns d day and carry most expences (it dosnt av to b d bride spendin alone but her parents take d bigger prt except wen d parent arnt financialy bouyant den d groom comes in and help). cos its our most joyful day and our pride to b married. Mayb its a diffrent culture for d igbos.

Trimia: need it for what?. Pls talk sense here and don't deviate

u certainly will need it after so much anger. Y did u involve my mother? Do u know me from anywhere? Besides no matter how angry u are or d amount of anger u vent here,it wunt change d truth nd simple fact that MEN AND WOMEN ARE NOT AND WILL NEVER BE EQUAL... But dat does not mean i would keep quite n stare wen a man harasses me in public,i sure will dish him wot he deserves...

chinwe11: Nairalanders, i have some questions oh. I am getting married in August..............my fiance and i are both working, but the house where he is staying now is having some problems, and might fall soon, so the landlord told them all to evacuate so he can renovate. (The rent was expiring in September anyway) My fiance then decided to use part of the money for the wedding to rent a new house for us. The problem now is, after renting the house, he had to do renovations etc, and now the wedding for the money is almost finished to about 20% left. he is now saying shebi i also have money that i should make up the remaining 80%. Please nairalanders what do you think? Is a woman supposed to pay the bulk money for the wedding?



Afterall what plans did he have for rent after the wedding? I told him to borrow money he said no.

it is totally bad to borrow money for ur wedding.. Its not by force to av a big elaborate wedding n besides lots of food will b waisted were there are some ppl out there hungry and wunt even mind eating d leftovers. Cut ur cloth accordin to ur size but if u insist on a big wedding then u shouldnt av a problem dropin d 80% of d funds if u av d money,afterall d house he got n renovated is for d both of u n ur future kids. This happens only once in a life time so no big deal in carrying d expence, marriage is abt love,so if u truely love him n want him for d rest of ur life use d funds u av n a assure u he would appreciate it n cherish u forever but that dosnt mean U SHOULD PUT IT TO HIS FACE AFTER MARRIAGE THAT AFTERALL U FOOTHED ALL D BILLS WEN U AV ARGUMENTS IN UR UNION. If u ever do such then u are shame to womanhood.

Trimia: @poster so if a man harasses you on the road you would thank him because you are not his 'equal'? Spare us the bullshit. The man is the head of the home, a woman must subject herself to her husband and her husband only. Why would i raise my daughters to feel inferior to thier brothers when i don't even feel inferior to thier father. Thats rubbish, i wonder if thats how your mother raised you. (its a simple observation not an insult)

go and take a very chilled bottle of coke cause u will need it.

[quote author=Busy_body]Glad to hear the good news. May our children live as long as we want and never want as long as they live in Jesus' name.



They are both the same 3-in-1 antifungal/antibacterial antibiotic/steroid topical cream oh, meaning that you both are right to be anxious and worried.[/quote]AMEN IN JESUS NANE, AND URS TOO.

blank: @ BusyBody, please tell me more. My son just returned from a holiday with his grandparents and i noticed a rash on his face and chest. I thought it was heatrash till yesterday when i noticed the face was worse and it had spread to his hands and legs. Took him to the doctor but that one refused to say more than that he had dermatitis and presxribed fombat C or something like that.

yes blank,fumbat is good,infact i use fumbat A mixed with ori for my son,very good. Though i avnt heard of fumbat C.

[quote author=Busy_body]How is your baby's dry skin? Is the Johnson stuff working effectively?[/quote]tnx dearie, i initialy tot its heatrash bt tnk God its clearing now. I use ori to rub his body ryt from birth.miss it with funbact A, or could also b missed with skinare. Tnx once again n God bless.

[quote author=Busy_body]Not joking at all, some call it ela, some call it eczema, some call the extreme one which peels baby skin to a different colour and scraps all the hair on the baby's head leaving a few strands seborrheic dermatitis, making them look like Tintin that cartoon character.

And if it has travelled to the lungs, Doctors check the baby for telltale sign of "eczema, give your baby an inhaler used for Asthma, but tell you babies don't have asthma or depending on the Doctor you see they might tell you it is good they got diagnosed early with Asthma as they most likey grow out of it by age 2.

So it is good to check out one's property for damp patches, leaks, etc, which can lead to mould and fungus growing in your house and it is babies and children and elderly people whose immune systems are still developing/compromised that are at risk.[/quote]God bless u,tnx alot for ur response. Realy apreciate it,God bless u..

[quote author=Busy_body]I know there are evil MILs out there, but the cynic in me can't help but ask

1) If your friend was still cooking the food
2) The origin of the food


Simply because that type of toxigenic agent is more common in the food supply/food chain of grains like rice, corn, etc, of developing 10th world continents like Africa AND some vegetarian food have colourings called Monascus which contains high levels of this fungus.

So perhaps your friend's Hubby could test some of her vegetarian diet to finger the appropriate culprit.




Na so some nigerian culture go dey felicitate say their pickin go grow chubby and fat cos he/she has eela(dermatitis) in the folds of their skin unbeknown to them that the poor baby's weakened immune system is being ravished by mould and the poor child is on the way to loosing all his/her hair and developing asthma [/quote]pls are u for real abt d ela n babies. N pls how does it make dem loose their hair. Tnx wiil await ur response

Tayothinks: What if she's the one refusing sex, complaining it's becoming everyday?

a wife refusing sex does not mean d marriage as failled. She is probably complaining if u av been been aving d same stlye or no for play is involved. It can become so borin if creativity isnt in it any more, it dosnt realy av to b on d bed always,there are places u could also av it,do u take ur time wen u want to av fun? Its not just getting her undressed and getting down to d main thing... Am sure u would get good advices on d thread. Goodluck

maryini: You guys should free the lady. Are you the one paying for her internet?

BTW I think Jenny just picked on her because in recent threads they have been having clashes.

tnks jare my dear,i avnt even said dey shouldnt correct me but its d insults i dont like. I want to be corected n i take to rection cos am not perfect.

As for jenny,i dont have a word for her as she is just a weed.

moremi2008: I think it's pretty clear that this Taryour person doesn't have a single thought in her head! I noticed this ages ago but I just assumed she was somebody else's back-up screen name, set-up just to support certain types of opinions. I honestly didn't know there was a real person behind it. Hahahaha!!! The poor lady is just a follow-follow. Abeg, leave her alone jor.

moremi,am a kind of person that takes to corrections alot and i realy apreciate being corrected,but when u decide to insult is not good at all. I respect each n everyone i come across cause u never know were u can meet tomoro,life isnt predictable. I avnt insulted u so i dont want insults.

Gaggi and tgirl u both can catch ur fun while it last,atleast u both are being very matured and responsible in ur corrections by not being insultive.
Tnx gaggi and tgirl for ur corrections.

Tgirl4real: Taryour,
Una no kill pesin for NL

Actually, I agree with Jenny on dis,I don't support her insult though. I noticed too and wanted to voice it out but didn't wanna hurt ur feelings. Still I can't judge u sha.

Madam Jenny,

Abeg sofry sofry with the woman na

am very suprised at u tgirl, since u agree with her then good for u both.

jennykadry: All you do everyday is agree with other people's posts. Don't you have a brain of your own to raise suggestions like them, post like them and advise like them? abi you brain is so daft?

ode Married woman. I wonder how you advise your supposed husband on things he wants to do when all you do is agree with every tom dck and harry. Get a brain of your own and post intelligent posts too.

PS: Feel free to ignore me, save the time to acquire a brain and a mouth of your own

u av come again abi?? I will not insult u or exchange words with u. U need serious help from God,and may God in his mercies help u...

Tgirl4real: I saw the thread too but I hadn't opened it. Since you posted on it, pls go to your profile, check out your posts and send me the link. In the meantime, I will also try to find it.

tnx for ur response,found out d thread as been mover to romance/sexuality section. I realy dont know y it was moved there but i think it ought to b in family section. Tnx mod,God bless u

Hello mod,pls were is d thread on *child on child molestation* not sure if i got d topic correctly,but am sure u no d thread cos is was here some 4 or 5 hour ago,only few pple ad comented on it which includes me,its a new thread n am sure alot of parents expecially mothers will learn alot from it,but all of a sudden i cant find d thread anymore. Pls kindly return d thread. God bless u.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]^^ hahaha!

Okay then, thanks [/quote]you are welcome.

dayokanu: Let her kick the MIL all I know is what you do to MIL would surely be done to you by your DIL

Well I dont pity some MIL cos maybe that was what they did to their own MILs too 30yrs ago

very true.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]^^ Eyah! My sister abeg nor vex now

See, we just dey do warm-ups as we dey wait the rest of na (you, Agiboma, Jenny & prof CC). In the meantime, I don make your photocopy of today's lesson....here you go...[/quote]ur head dey dia well well.
Me sef buy puff puff and viju milk for uu. Oya take.. No give jenny chop oo,but u fit give agi,ronke and cc.. *winks*

ronkebp: The truth is, naturally i will not expect my brother's wife to be rude to my mum, all because she feels my mum is a tough woman,(which she really is) and having unnecessary fear that MIL is this or that is breeding a long-term problem. I don't have a Mother-inlaw, an i am not happy about that, because during the wedding, i was really sad for my hubby, he wished his parents were around to see him wed, i wished they were around for me to sit on thier laps and receive their blessings,when i had my baby, my mother cameover to help out, but i wished when she was leaving my MIL was on her way too to help out.

Not all MIL are mean and wicked, there are so many women that have worst mothers than their MIL, but will see the MIL as the problem, some women (DIL) are naturally evil and wicked, and will attack even when they are not being attacked. "Do unto others what you want them to do to you."

God bless u for dis lovely post ronkus.
Op accept ur mil with open hands n a very pure n sincere hearth n u shall find peace in ur home and with ur future dil.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Okay, ready for lesson no. 6



CC, you hit the nail right on the head!

Coming from a background of strict upbringing, us African/Nigerian girls aren't expected to talk freely of sexual gratification in the bedroom. So we've got the delima of preserving that "good girl image" and at the sametime demonstrating skilfull prowess in bed - enough to keep our man coming back for more...[/quote]efe nawa for una o,u no fit call me wen u dey go class. U just allowed me miss dis lecture. ***sobs***

feminine A: Its not all right. You need to stay together. There is no need for privacy, you should be open as well as vulnerable to your partner am sure at a point in your life you had to a share room with one or two people. Please get used to living in the room with him. Night gist, brainstorming,decision as well as sex are always the best

i agree with o

kitty kat: Pls let's stop being hypocritical for once and be truthful. As much as I want to enjoy a MIL since I hv no mother, I wouldn't fail to agree that there are Monster Inlaws. Yes. I hv seen a MIL in front of elders tell her son that she wishes his child was aborted nd she means it till today cos she never liked d wife. In the family sec on NLD we have a recent post about a MIL who almost poisoned her son's wife.

That said POSTER, evil is not limited to MIlS, its found in DILs, SILs, FIL etc. Even ur friend can be a bad MIL cos d way she iss picking faults shows that she too can pick faults. My advise like some really honest and understanding posters have said is to be nice. In my place u never talk back at ur in-laws. When they come u put up ur best behaviour even if u don't want to. Remember that this is Africa and they have a string hold over your family. Its even worse that the hubby is an only son and thus has a specila bond with mom. This bond as a result of her husbands death with get stronger. Unfortunately whatever MIL does will be ok to son.

Poster when ur friend becomes a MIL tomorrow and starts picking faults in her DILs, I want u to refer to this thread for her. The reason I am saying this is that if all apprehensive DIL who talkd trash abt MIL were sincere then we won't hv MIL probs todays. Cos they will all become the Angel MILs they dreamed abt when they were DILs.

So let her ignore wateva Mama does. It will help her to accept Mama as her mother and even keep her close than her bio-mom. A friend whom I called mamas boy once told me something which I wld tell u. Watch how her son treats her, I mean every single bit and then plan a strategy. Treat her 5 times better than her son. In d case of difficult MIL, it has been proven time and time again that consistent true love always breaks them. If the son buys her gifts buy more and let the son be the one to present it most times. Thereby scoring points with son and mom simulteanously. If the son dey wash her clothes when he wss younger, don't even wait for her to remove it, tell her mama pls I am waiting for u to remove ur clothes make I wash am. Wash it, iron and keep for her. Let her room always be clean. Her fav dish etc.

Compliment her all the time, whether its real or not so real, your mouth no go break. Once she complain, apologize profusely. A yoruba sis inlaw I had wasn't accepted by the fmily at first. One of her tricks wey she tk win na to kneel down when greeting and apologizing. Let it come from ur friends heart. Even if mamashout from today till tomoro let ur friend not utter a word, sulk or frown. Instead let her always say Mama I am sorry, I have learnt, pls tell me what to do to make u happy. It looks stupid but this is the smartest way to fight for her home.

The fear of MIL is d beginning of wisdom. Na dem get the key, pls give them max respect and love with time you see them over shower u with love after all na pesin them be. If u r religious pls be very prayerful.

OMG!!! dis is d best post ever n am loving it. God bless u madam.

dayokanu: ^^ Exactly,

Thats the point many women miss, they already see trouble before the MIL even came in. Soon the MIL would come and she would be complaining that she sings too much, Her footsteps is too loud, She eats too much laughs too much, the MIL smells etc

Maybe they have forgotten that they would be MIL someday and what you give out, may you receive

I have heard girls who pray for the MIL to die

One even said she prays she doesnt marry a guy whose mom is still alive.

Hopefully someone would pray the girls too die before their son gets married

u av a very good point u know.
@op does ur frnd still av a moda?if she can tolorate n accomodate her own moda y cnt she just do d same with her mil. And besides even if at all her mil is troublesome,definately not wen she is mourning her husband. Does she av an idea wot it feels like to loose a loved one,not to tok of a spouse. Abeg ur frnd is not serous joor

dayokanu: Its the same thing we are saying.

When you lose your husband in many years to come and you want to go stay with your son and his family May Amadioha let your Daughter In law bounce you and give you a time table of when you would come to visit And may she give you the excuse to wait till she is done nursing the baby

So that you can return to your husband house lonely and depressed while your DIL finish nursing her baby

SOMEBODY SAY AMEN

DAYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.