₦airaland Forum

RIP


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Succinct

Thanks.

Nice!!!

She messed up the dress by wearing a bra...........

should have gone for nipple pads or not wear it all.

But given the culture or nation she represents... that's way OTT....

Does Lupita dress that way??... Is an analogy

Following the story previously...

Stunned at her response... should have left the battering to the dodgy bf
Gives an insight into her Xter... may explain why her bf has decided to treat her like this.

Kudos to u bro, for not being part of the charade...
Hopefully she gets wise quickly n apologies to you.

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Hmm, well said!!!

Brings to mind the tale of 3 'gimgim' Christian sisters. 2 of whom had colluded behind the 3rd sister to wreck her relationship. Updates on the said relationship were obtained under the disguise of "praying for the couple"....

Reasons behind their collusion.... petty jealousy.!!

Fast forward 7 years later, the trauma of the whole experience has left her in limbo, the other girls are supposedly happily married. The gentleman in question is divorced from the puppet/ stooge, the other girls were supporting ............and actively reaching out for her.


Lesson: be careful what you reveal!!

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Oga Kirinwa....
The above premise is true....
So is the admonishment that....Men should love their wives as Christ loved the church.

Don't see any love but a selfcentredness when a man insists on his own way on the back of a hurt ego.

Have u sat down to understand what her reasons are, for defying you.

Outside of foolishness, tolerance and maturity is key.
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Hate to say this, folks....

That doesnt look real.... Photoshopped!

#teamnotoDomesticViolence

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I know this may be late in the day.
Have u tried relationship counsellors??

Divorce is not necessarily the optimum way.... do explore other options.

Agree with some of Loretta's surmise....

Madam Loretta, wetin u dey do for NL....
No be honeymoon u dey, pls go answer Oga jhor!!


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Fishy, fishy, fishy !!!

Sounds like a scam to me....

Have u met his folks?? Have you established strong lines of communication apart from ur online romance??
Travelling to see him, in a strange country where you have no support system, methinks, is a little premature and potentially fraught with danger ( seizes ur passport and turns u into a modern day slave/ callgirl or sth gross ).....whether he footsteps the flight or visa fees or not.

Given his strange request to forward ur passport, I IMHO don't think he's a genuine article!!!

Let's mix some common sense with awoof awoof!


Caveat Emptor.

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Dubemkelly: Its not a crime nd not ur damn business, he ever came back to marry nd never 4got where he comes from....Well in Nigeria,girls be like if he stays in Lag n I'm in PH,its not gonna work cos of Distance buh if he stays in the UK or US, all that matters is love n distance can't be a barrier

A smart bro shouldn't touch that sort of girl described above with a long pole......
It's obvious she's out for what she can get and doesn't like/love him at all.

To your opening line, ur choice of marriage partner is entirely ur decision!!!
I'm certain there will be ladies of the same cultural slant abounding at his workbase, hence that as an excuse to "fish" in Naija isnt tenable.

U want a mail-order bride or husband, u have little in common with: other than a subscription to a culture which u r likely to practice differently, that's ur cuppa!!

But when the "center doesn't hold" or "things start to fall apart", don't claim ignorance, but accept that some foolishness with a naive attitude is the cause.

If you have to make such decisions, make sure contingency plans are in place.... to protect all parties involved, particularly once children are involved!!


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There are different reasons for your cousin's actions....
He'll be in a better position to explain why.

Different reasons abound.....
1)Lack of financial stability,
2) earnest pursuit of a professional career leading to a time-poor attempts at relationships
3) strong cultural feelings of indebtedness...hence marry "within"
4) gotten a reputation as a "player", so few potential spouses take him seriously;
5) down-low brother

What I find funny is..... you can't comfortably suss out the girls on ur side of the pond, what makes you think you can suss out those on the other side, in such a short time period (holiday) Families often get it soooo wrong... they don't even know you anymore, after 20 yrs away!!!

What's to stop ur imported bride from learning about her legal entitlements and cleaning him out financially in a few years of marriage

I remember there was an upsurge of girls in the UK going to Naija to get husbands in the late 00's.... most of the girls had stories to tell, a few unlucky ones realised the sham they had walked into only a few months into their marriages.
This was similar to the American experience, a decade earlier, when bros from a certain part of the country were importing brides to become workhorses after procreation had resulted in 2-3 offsprings which officially afforded these men, the title.... Househusband!!!

Last words..... divine enablement and guidance is the way forward...




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In summary,it appears that this couple met via Facebook but had a relationship afterwards.
And.......
It's reasonable for this young lady to want to help her man..... till he did a runner.


Lessons include.... only give what you can afford.
Have in writing, any soft loans awarded to close family/ friends

I hope she recovers from the experience speedily.


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[quote author=A-town]Excuse my ignorance but did the woman invite home so that they could study applied sciences? I don't know this guy but we cannot rule out malice on the side of the woman as well[/quote]My thoughts exactly!!!!

Unfortunately its her word against his.

You take a total stranger home after going to McDee, then you drop him at the train station after the deed, the next day........ you didn't call the police at any point ?.... doesn't quite sound right to me.

There's more to this story than meets the eye.

But then that's how convoluted the system is!!!!
So Bro, its for you to be careful with your booty call/ playmates before she retaliates with a criminal charge...

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Kudos to Ogugua on this initiative....

It's distasteful to label a whole nation based on the activities of a few miscreants...
It is certainly inflammatory and unbecoming of a man in public office to do such!!!
Calls should be made for his resignation.........then maybe he may understand the implications of his actions.


The African-American community find the "n" word distasteful,
so should we Nigerians with regards to "419"/ scammers....



We need more people standing up for the common good.... and not tolerating ineptitude regardless of location!!!!!

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Alfa Seltzer: I hope the family sues the incompetent police force.

Having a gun is not unlawful in California and holding one is not a justifiable cause to be shot. But here we are even talking of a toy gun which if the policement have had a good training would have distinguished from a real one. Moreover, it's being held by a small boy! Those police never tell the real story!

My thoughts exactly.....
For those blaming his parents..... it was his friend's gun he was about returning!!!


Pls correct.....
I thought it was shoot to disarm/ disable .....ie a principal limb .....not shoot to kill
As is the case in many of these publicized reports.

What's going on wt the police??

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Kudos to Madam Minister.....

I wonder why Israel of all places
I would guess the air traffic to that region excluding Dubai.... "the new London" isn't that great.
But baby steps are important.... so won't despise days of little beginnings!!!

Importantly, she still needs to respond to allegations thrown at her.




NLers, stop being emotive.....
She has a case to answer to, regardless of tribe....
Let the critical thinking rule the day rather than tribal alliances
Maybe NGR can be lifted from the doldrums.


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[quote author=gcfr.com]some pasts might come hunt d future. E.g ur wife was once a public waste bin "in d past"[/quote]Same goes for the man who has dipped into many waste bins in the past.!!!

lorretta u: I'm waiting for the person who'll come here. And say the OP is a woman hiding behind a male handle

Godspikin should have introduced this as an excerpt from an article he read somewhereelse rather than as a self-composition.


Article sure sounds like a woman letting out steam....!!!

Nice tips nonetheless.
Though they aren't a guarantee against divorce.

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^^^^^^^^

My thoughts exactly.

If the NBS findings were to be true, then I'm impressed at such laudable achievements with ongoing security issues, entrenched corruption and a large proportion of society not understanding and enacting the word... civic responsibility..

I suppose an independent, apolitical NGO should monitor these figures and make public, their verifiable results.



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Well done to her....
Regardless of the motives behind the pageant.


At least, its not for some offence/ crime, she's in the news for.!!!!

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Could you share tips concerning property "estates" and their conveyancing practices??

Ineptitude re: diction is directly proportional to Ineptitude re: quality of contestants/ participants.


Daffodil remains the correct spelling!!

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Well done Blessing

God bless you.




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I don't think there's a curse..... in that sense. There are exceptions though which I'll mention such as blood covenants, huge sacrifice on the part of the injured party, membership of cults/ covens.

Some of the main issues leading to the scenario raised by the op include:


1) lack of deep conviction..... the fella in this scenario suffers from the "grass is greener on the other side" mentality..... lacking any deep commitment or conviction to any relationship. On close observation, the eventual spouse will either have endured a long courtship with a lot of ill treatment alongst the way or a new person with superficial fantasy story -style achievements comes along and seals the deal without revelation of true self or worth.... or with the use of "jazz" with underlying psychological arse-licking.

An eg is a career Aristo girl who falls in love with a seemingly dashing yahoo yahoo boy.


2) failure to get rid of emotional baggage

This is similar to what Drbaby described earlier, with subconscious, incessant comparison with previous ex. It takes a very mature man at that, to rise above this challenge. Women appear to overcome this challenge easily if there are inducements. Akinyele's 2nd wife couldn't live in the shadow of his 1st wife is the eg that comes to mind.

3) lack of maturity/ willingness to work...

U sabi bon is not a measure of how ready you are to handle marriage and its ups n downs. There's a tendency for a Mills n Boon attitude to marriage.......but a piece of advice that doesn't sink in is ........ you've got to work at it... This sieves the boys from the men.

Appraise the goals... short and long term,........ only done, if you had set them previously......

re-affirm your vows,
Guard the sanctity of ur union, delegate responsibility to ur spouse,
step up the romance..,
try some new perfume, get those muscles in place,
try some new moves under the covers.
Get ur best friend back......

Easier said than done, but try, hope, praaaaay!!



To the earlier things, its best avoiding those situations.... why ask a GF to perform spiritual ablutions, trado sacrifices, take part in an organ transplantation, collect Aristo-money in order for you to feed, cut herself to seal a blood covenant with you, disvirgi..n a girl if you don't have serious/commitment designs for her

It's simply opening the door to possible mayhem.

There's a way out for those encumbered by the mistakes of the past.... but are you willing to withstand the process?


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God bless you all and Nigeria!!