₦airaland Forum

Thanks for your concern.

I've met and will keep meeting pple who have ulterior motives..
That's the world for you.
I simply get on with having an excellent life.

Yes, you hone your skills of identifying and managing pple, despite their shortcomings...... life skills!!

However, I stand my ground, that your piece above is way too prescriptive and NOT set in the bowels of reality.

There's an obvious lack of scientific evidence behind some of your sweeping generalizations which edge sometimes on the borders of incredulity!!!!

Yes, you put things in place to minimize negative fall-outs, but there's no guarantee.

We all live n pray.

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Sigmond....

Thanks for the piece...
Informative but has a truckload of BS onboard too.

I'm living an excellent life presently, not one in regret, and not about to take a shift from that in future.

It's not your original work, hence don't take criticisms personal.

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Some valid points

Lot of idealistic cuckoldry

Life isn't all black n white dear....
And not necessarily responsive to prescriptive manipulations!!

Need some experience on board.

Breaking the soul ties...
Is useful.

Hopefully, there's a fresh start thereafter.

EQ, needs some tweaking
Bros, u go talk plenty, e go tire sista sef

Find someone who's likeminded......
You'll simply flow!!


**NL sistas, whr una dey ooooo**

? Still available

? Still available

They have their reasons for being with each other though u may not appreciate them. Migraine is not a reason for relationship break-up!!!!
Medical assistance is accessible to aid cure.


**NLanders never fail to amaze.... some that is!!***

esere826: @)OP

umh.....
nice thread, but was getting too 'euro-elitist' and 'date/relationship-centric' in my opinion
Me thinks you could view folks profile in NL and invite them to this thread
forget about their age and location, think only about what they have to offer intellectually
and their 'real' potential for strong mid-time/future networking

...just my opinion

Gee thanks.....
Honoured to have you here, sir...
Problem is... not very internet savvy
And shamefacedly, not quite sure of ways of identifying the right pple....

Any strategic help will be appreciated....

.

Informative, well presented.
Thank you very muchly!!

Peeps,
I said....... the thread is for the 40's.....

No one is asking for your opinions as to why they are 40 n seeking the significant other ..

Keep ur poorly researched largely biased opinions with shaky foundations to yourselves!!!!!




Let the thespians commence!!!!!!

.

Tis the season to be joyful
As its the end of the year, its reasonable to take stock of achievements and shortcomings

So commend the Op at creating this thread.

There are pple, male n female in the 40's "box".
Desiring marriage for different reasons:
increasing interaction in anonymity is a proven successful method.
No airs, no "boss or family pedigree" role play.......
Simply being oneself.


For those arguing for or against......
If you don't fall into the category of 40's,
Na beg I beg....
Siddon for corner.

Let the thespians start,
May Favour shine upon us..
"Break a leg"......
Pls not literally..


Gbam!!!

Are U sure,
This isn't a covert solicitation for molesters.....

There was a story in the US that made headline news
A mother kept putting up half clad images of her daughter alongside hers.....
In order to attract "boyfriends"......

These men repeatedly later had carnal knowledge of both mother n daughter.....
It was only exposed after the daughter had had enough....
Mother denied involvement.

****************
In this case,
I would be suspect of intentions......
This is not only bad parenting
but solicitation if these pics are readily available on public media.

? chargeable offence..... not sure


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sexkillz: [color=#000030]Why should your mother live with you? What happened to her husbands house?

If for any reason your mother must live with you, she has no right to dictate to your wife. Your wife is married to you and not your mother. She is your first responsibility and not your mother. You should have married your mother if you had wanted her to have a say in how you run your life and your home. Your mother should not run her husband's house, and then come to run the house of another woman because that woman married her son.

It is wholly wrong!

I respect my mother alot. She was the one that taught me the value of women, and that my wife will come first over her. . .
[/color]

Your love towards your mum is applauded!!!


However, the question remains..... why must there be a choice?



The "homeland" rules are in place following deliberations with wifey and other contributions from valued elders or mentors, and should suffice.
Any flagrant disregard of these rules from any party, yourself included, should be dealt with accordingly.
No needless scapegoat made of anybody on account of misconceptions or otherwise.



However, if there's a need for redress, sound reasoning should be employed.

Shouldn't decisions be based on sound reasoning regardless of source not petty partisanship



My stance is don't create a needless mental "tug of war" as to who rules the roost.
You are the man in the home..... and hence your call.
Your head shouldn't be on Mama's bosoms or in between Madam's thighs..
But should be on your neck, after due diligence!!!


******My comments aren't borne from a "live-in MIL scenario", btw.*****

sexkillz: [color=#000030]No matter what a woman's character looks like, or what she has done, or what she will do, once you make her your WIFE, she is the MOST important woman in your life. . .

Give her that respect. . .

Your mother is the MOST important woman in another man's life, which happens to be your father. . .

Another hard truth for those shouting "mother mother" all over the place is that, your mother will ALWAYS choose her husband, your father, over you. . . Anytime, anywhere. . .

Respect your wife!
[/color]

Bros...

Let's not mix up respect with role portrayal

You choosing a party to support should
primarily be secondary to good reasoning......

Be it at work or play

I raise the question again....
Why must there be a choice.... on the basis of "I want to support my wife or mother"
Let the choice be subject to sound, unbiased reasoning
Then all the parties concerned will feel at ease

But when there's a perceived sense of bias, then "shadows become demons".

A good man in charge of his home, has set down rules in his home
listens to each sets of arguments with an unbiased attitude in a discreet fashion,
And then comes to a balanced decision prayerfully
And communicates it across effectively...

I still repeat there is little need for tittle tattle,
that is so often over-dramatized in some homes.


With regards to choices,
I want to imagine that there would have been several times
your mum chose you or your siblings over and above your dad....
She only did it in a discreet and discrete fashion to minimize role conflict!!!


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eddy1977: A good mother should encourage his son to love his wife more than any woman here on earth.
The good book didn't say: man shall cling to his mother,and the two shall become one.

Yes,mother bore me in her womb,yes she nurtured me and pampered me. One can argue that she did it out of love.but the truth is she did it out of responsibility. It was must. And thank God for responsible and loving mothers.they make this world a better place.
But,mama is noty wife. My wife sleeps with me.she ushers in my posterity. I chose her.and asy faith dictates,she is one with me.one flesh.together we are a unit.

So,there is the bomb: mama,back off. If you and my wife were drowning, i ll save my wife first. And make sure she is safe before i save you. It's hard but it's the truth.sorry mama.

A good mother will not wait for you to make that difficult decision of choice......

She would have provided a way of escape for the three or more of you..... herself, her son and DIL with grandchildren if indicated.

She would gladly put herself out as sacrifice, if it was deemed necessary....

I agree, not all mothers are good
or are at all times disposed to be sacrificial......


In response to ur "maternal responsibility" reason....
I beg to differ.....
The nurture n care was as a result of love not primarily responsibility....

How many "responsible" mothers may aid financially but do NOT nurture their wards!!

.

I still maintain my stance......
Why must there be a choice??

I feel there's so much acrimony in the MIL/DIL saga,
that there's a perception of having to choose in the light of conflict,
mostly perceived!!!!


Where is the win -win mentality for all concerned



Fundamentally, once the mental approach is wrong,
It's natural to see problems where there are none....
And possibly overact.....
Which is the bane of many conflicts.....



Speak to ladies who have been married 25yrs and above,
Who have been with their husbands through thick n thin......

1 recurrent undercurrent is the invaluable relationship they had with
an older female in-law.. be it MIL, SIL or Aunt in-law....




The flipside is ensuring you're in agreement with whom appreciates or toes along with your moral compass.

.

^^^^^^^^
My question is: must there be a choice

I don't fault ur argument as to who your allegiance should be to....
But most times, there's a tardy rather public debacle for choices to be made
When there's lack of understanding and MATURITY on the part of either ladies

More so the younger women...... DILs...

If the young Nigerian women of today can be less hasty in judgement,
Open lines of communication,
Comport themselves properly
Less adept to "follow-follow", "Kardashian" mentality,
maybe there'll be fewer battles with MILs

Final word:

a good mother will always nuture, no matter the condition.....
That can't be said for a good number of "new wives".....


.

Na wao!!!!!!
The heart of man can be desperately wicked!!!


With regards to ur ex-fiance.........
Going back the 3rd time, may be fatal.
He sure doesn't value you, given the way he's treated you.

Forgiveness is the key: there's a release in the process.... the release of you
Simply EXHALE

Not easy, but sooooo worth it.!!!!!!

Out of curiosity....
These China phones.....

do they have the facility to change voices to male Nigerian voices too

As they do.... female ones?

.

Not sure what's going on ?? .....
Pic 2 and 3 are NOT of the same lady


Care to clarify pls!!!!!

Cool Kizzy: fake story - naija can lie shaa,

read that story again and tell ur self the truth.
So millitary men can just spring up and join hands with anybody to beat anybody? Or Neto C came with millitary men to a wedding? How many are they to bar a whole crowd from taking pix? Even after the fight? And i tell u, even idris abdulkarim, terry G or davido will not push someone for stepping on hubby's cloths let alone the gentle Neto C, we all know how he was slapped at a hotel in Benin by co-entertainers, he only filled a law suite, oh and lest i forget, he is a barrister and knows the dos and donts.

Neeeext!

Barrister

When n where did he get his degree

Some pre-med in USA n MSc in Energy mgt.... doesn't translate to LLB pls!!!

Pls get ur information correctly!!!!!!

.

As said previously.....


Talking about the economy....

Where you all at

Cool.......
All welcome aboard.... the Xmas train

Let's pick some spots n dates for consideration......

Simply amazed at the lack of response.....


This is a serious take on a pretty grim situation with all the acrimonious in-fighting,
That can have a deleterious effect on her ambassadorial career.

.

Wondered if anyone was interested in meeting up Xmas time in London?
??Cocktails, Pub lunch or restaurant meals........
Signify your interest and preferences

Thanks.

Rather bemused as to the lack of response......

By our silence, are we in agreement with the current ongoing situation ?......

Or??

I've watched the rather public squabble between Bianca and some of her in-laws over the wealth of her late husband or late father-in-law, given different theories being portrayed on the public media.

Needless to say that a lot of damage had been made to her late husband's legacy, maybe somewhat irreversible.

However, my concern is to do with her role as a Nigerian ambassador. These chicken fights not only do her image no good, but could also put the Nigerian image or brand into further disrepute.

It goes without saying, that this image has been in tatters for a while on the international platform.

And in the light of current Nigerian image rebranding efforts, Bianca has to remember that she stands as a representative of this great country,and should therefore ACT IMPECCABLY as one:
not as a widow in a family bent on washing their dirty linen in public.

Nuff said!!!




What do u all think?

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DailyNews: Op, seriously your story is mixed up- you started with marriage then switch-code to relationship then to legal wedding and back again to the relationship is not working. Pls are they just dating as in all those lovey dovey things or they are married cos ur not being specific in your story.


If they are married, how can the man say he is not ready for kids when he signed a marriage paper and all? Is this a new form of marriage- dating-married or what?


Your sister has not defined her status with this man that's her problem- are they married or dating? Marriage is marriage whether done traditionally, religiously or legally, so long as it is formalised with the consent of the two individuals plus families, then it is marriage.


Sure the guy is seeing another woman, and most men do anyway, especially when far from their lover, only few men don't, that's the harsh truth, but that can't be enough reason for him to want to back out, tell your sister to open up more to you, something is being twisted; is she medically fit to give birth or had they (she n d presumed hubby) visited a hospital n were told so? Did she forced herself on d guy, hoping to be married out of pity?


Is she truly sure that the guy in question is a true practising born again cos most that u think are aren't; just using that status to fool themselves.


Finally, was there truly an official wedding (mustnt necessarily be church wedding though)?

True talk, bro!!!!!

candygosh: I didn't even get to read it all cos its a twisted story. Legal marriage, white weddn 24-27(3yrs)

Need I tell you that your sister should pick her slipper, dust em well and run till she reaches her OWN safe heaven.
She's sitting in another woman's house. Can't she see that the guy is just using her. I won't be suprised if he has a wife n kids somewhere. Nuff said!

With the groom's parents in tow and praying for the reconciliation....... don't think so.!!!

Except...... well, wonders never end in 9ja.



Can't they see a counsellor??
By all remit, she's legally married and shouldn't deny him the conjugal rights.
In the same light, he shouldn't deny his responsibility in the event of pregnancy!!!

Hmmm.
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