₦airaland Forum

Octopusssy:
Meanwhile, , spammer alert. Rule 2 also broken

Octopusssy:
Keep consoling yourself. Don't go and find a job instead of spamming threads with dry and overlong rubbish.

Octopusssy:
Octopusssy's mum's pussy is Super dry

tunjijones:
tunjijones to his useless father:
U are just stupid...

fyneguy:
GEJ that sacked him as CBN Governor? The one who sacked him was worse than who reduced his influence.

HegenIkomkeh:
Just a 1 week Executive course.
No big deal.

IvarTheBoneless:


I remember being stuck in one...on a mission in Tokyo.

I was a secret agent trailing Izichiro Kagawa.

He was a traitor selling nuclear secrets to the Chinese.

Why the top echelon of Japanese Intelligence unintelligently chose a Black assassin is a story for another day...


The moment i sneaked into the basement of the Hiroshima Memorial Military Laboratories (HMML) i felt a sense of foreboding.


Just how do i cross 500meters of a heavily guarded lab ? Kagawa's office was straight ahead. No turns.

My make-up was already failing... i was sweating heavily despite the ACs.

Imagine how foundation runs down the faces of these our slayqueens.

I kept my face-cap down and muttered in Yoruba at every single greeting. All you had to do was add "chiwa" and " orensoshi" to the end of each word.

400 m.......250m................70m.........10m.

I made up my mind to use the garotte ( thought through various methods)
He deserved a painful but noiseless death.


He was seated backing the door and alone.... showtime!

He was turning when our eyes met in the mirrors.

I was a terrible sight! I saw a nasty demon staring back at me.

Black showing in big patches under the white make-up. Reverse vitiligo just like Michael Jackson!


He ran towards the nearest cabinet close to these giant ass fridge. He was going for the alarm!


I cut off his route of escape halfway to the alarm, and then....

He slammed the release of the fridge and pushed me inside!

Luckily i grabbed him by the neck as we both fell inside the fridge. The latch closed automatically sealing us in! WTF!

First thing i noticed, my balls were freezing.... next my blood was turning to ice in my veins.....

I knew i had to postpone killing him. I needed his body warm for as long as possible.

We both hugged each other....killer and would-be victim for warmth.....

To be continued!





Fvck! I am late for office, AGAIN!

PLOT TWIST: it's a Regenerator not a Refrigerator +

Sabaru21:
ole

sumgelem:
Another ban awaits you.

nicepoker101:

InvisibleB:
Sir i am in suspense.I want to read this book.Where can i find it?

TheFacelessMan:


I remember killing someone on his birthday.


Samuel Chukwuma had been stealing from the Okoronkwo cartel in South Africa.


The crew was into drugs, not the healing type.



Sam was going to be 30. He had planned a big birthday party in Orlu, his village.



I was 500 meters away looking through my Dragunov sniper rifle perched high up on a palm tree.


I saw some old women in their best native attires, dancing and making some screechy sounds. EEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Pain or pleasure, God knows what they were feeling, but if that was music, I must be Queen Elizabeth the 2nd


I saw his white Benz jeep drive into the village square.

Samuel dropped from the jeep and as he sprayed money, the noise and frenzy of all the villagers increased.


I calmed my breathing, exhaling and inhaling slowly, taking drawn out breath, looking at his bald head through the scope.


As i started to pull the trigger back, he picked up a cute girl, 5 years old at most


"Oh shiiiit!!!!" I cursed and the rifle tumbled out of my hands.

I heard less than 10 minutes before the Commissioner of Police arrived. He was the special guest of honour.


I descended from the tree in desperation. Skin peeling from my hands, i had no time to lose.


I got down and i knew i had no time to climb up again, i had to do it up close and person.


Panting, i ran from the bush to the clearing in 5 mins flat.


"SAMUEL!!!!", i croaked with a dry throat, and he turned.
....

TheFacelessMan:


I remember using a bomb to save a life or lives?

Mobutu Sese Seko was not the best of leaders...but he was my Boss.

He was the worst kind of tyrant. Bloodthirsty and money-hungry

A revolution happened and soon a mob of 100 had arrived the gates of the Presidential Palace.

They were ready to tear him to pieces, screaming for his blood.


I was the only one standing between him and them.

On my RIGHT, I had Mobutu, his pale face blanched of blood, almost grey, sweating like an Xmas goat.

On the LEFT, i had the baying crowd that was looking more and more out of control by the second...

I had a tough decision to make. The man paying my salary OR the Masses.


I threw the bomb in the direction of......


To be continued.

TheFacelessMan:


Once upon a time i was a zookeeper in San Diego.

I was whistling to myself, " i am the king of the jungle, lord of the rings" at the top of my voice as i went to feed the chimpanzees in Cage 7. The parrots had joined in, providing a chorus.


Suddenly, i noticed that i was the only one singing.

Every animal had turned silent , you could almost hear a pin drop ! It seemed even the air had paused blowing.

I slowwwwwwllllyyyyyyy turned back , fearful of what i would see...

I had forgotten to lock Cage 9, Kumbaya's cage!



Kumbaya was a giant silverback gorilla at least 400 pounds in weight and 7 feet tall.

He had slowly opened the latch of his cage and he was with me in the corridor, 10 steps from me.... all his sharp pointy teeth on display

The ground trembled and shook as he sprang towards me.... i was transfixed to the spot, 5 seconds and i would die.....

3 seconds..... he was upon me and his 2 huge palms landed on my shoulders...... preparing to tear my throat out

I couldn't bear to look, i closed my eyes.

I could smell his fetid, stinking breath as he opened his jaws..... i silently said my last prayers, soon to rest in peace or pieces ?

And...........and.......

I felt something liquid and hot on my face. BLOOD?! My belly was already jelly!

Trembling like a leaf, collapsing under his weight, i still couldn't open eyes... i just peeked through eyelashes..

Kumbaya was licking my face in appreciation for the song i was singing!!!!


To be continued.....

TheFacelessMan:
Once upon a time...i was a Prince in the Kingdom of Dahomey.

I was seated on my throne one honey on each arm...2 lying on my leopard skin rug....

The skin was real! I killed it myself, don't be doubting me!

My son, the 35th ? Or 36th one ?

I can't remember their numbers, 4 women were claiming they had a package on the way... 0.5 x 4 + 35 = ?



Anyways, back to my story....

The boy was running from the direction of the sea, eyes bulging in their sockets, struggling to contain his excitement just like any 4 year old.

Forgive me now if i can't recall his name, he was Abdul-something. Who memorizes 35+ names by the way?

PAPAAAAA!!!!! He cried out like the cute monkey he was....

Following him closely were my warriors in their full regalia, masks, shields, spears and all...

They had a man in between them, his skin was a WHITE as ours was BLACK.

His eyes were sea blue unlike our brown ones.

The date ? I have forgotten again!

It was sometime in the 18th Century, if memory serves me right.

To be continued .....

TheFacelessMan:
I was a Uber Driver as far back as 1995

I got a beep on my pager "Risikatu Oni-Ponmo" requesting a ride to UBA, Oshodi"

Whether her yellow skin was factory-fitted or not follow come, that i can't say...

She told me to wait for her when she got to UBA with her friend.


AAAAA>>>>GBAAAAAA>>>GBBBAAAA"

I heard some bangers going off in the bank. Are they celebrating Christmas? Who does that in June?


Next thing I know, Risi was stepping over the front guard who looked up at her and she fired straight into his head.

I frozen in place like a bronze statue in Benin City. My mouth wide open, eyes struggling to pop from the sockets

Just as i sank my keys in ignition after fumbling for the right one....i felt cold steel at my temple....