TheFacelessMan's Posts
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 Crime › Re: The Memoirs Of A Faceless Man by TheFacelessMan(op): 9:12pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
TheFacelessMan: 6 Likes 1 Share |
| Crime › Re: Uber driver strips down to after he was fined by airport tow truck driver by TheFacelessMan: 9:09pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
GidiWoodsMan:As long as your ma stops making me cum all night That's why i forget so easily |
| Crime › Re: Uber driver strips down to after he was fined by airport tow truck driver by TheFacelessMan: 8:59pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
Chukwurah003:Is Obi from Bravoosi? 1 Like |
| Crime › Re: Uber driver strips down to after he was fined by airport tow truck driver by TheFacelessMan: 8:55pm On Apr 30, 2019*. Modified: 11:10pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
ishawlar:Ask the same teacher who couldn't even teach you to spell SENSE correctly. Just because you got FREE education, they shouldn't be wicked enough to skip SPELLING classes for you. PS - note how I made good use of the words in your OWN sentence  11 Likes |
| Crime › Re: Zainab Aliyu's Sister Cries, Recalls How She Was Arrested & Handcuffed In Saudi by TheFacelessMan: 8:37pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
 I released Vladimir Borisov one freezing morning in winter from a Siberian Gulag. He glared at me, smirked and gave me a sign with his 2 hands; the longest fingers erect. 2 Likes |
| Foreign Affairs › Re: Omar al-Bashir Stoned, Transported Like Cow To Prison (Photos) by TheFacelessMan: 8:33pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
Okoyeebows:Eyah. Ma ni lati ma shey hide and seek, ma lo pa awon ebuu yen re  Mo ti change comment yen, lo wowo |
| Foreign Affairs › Re: Omar al-Bashir Stoned, Transported Like Cow To Prison (Photos) by TheFacelessMan: 8:28pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
Okoyeebows:]  The Lord is your strength, thou shalt not be a bigot. I sue for peace on Nairaland 1 Like |
| Travel › Re: Uber Driver Returns A Lady's N25k And Her International Passport, He Gets N500 by TheFacelessMan: 8:23pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
Younghacka:Why call it a lie? "It's a true" until you can prove otherwise! 1 Like |
| Travel › Re: Uber Driver Returns A Lady's N25k And Her International Passport, He Gets N500 by TheFacelessMan: 8:03pm On Apr 30, 2019*. Modified: 9:21pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
 Lucky him Many years back while i was still in Uber business... I returned a lady's N7 million back and she asked me inside for "coffee" out of appreciation. I felt i had hit jackpot after smoking the honeypot without a silencer on my bazooka. I pumped with ALL my strength, not even one drop landed outside. Someone with 7 million in her purse will have 70 in the bank, right? https://thumbs.gfycat.com/FearlessPolishedBordercollie-size_restricted.gif 9 months after i got a package from her... not the FedEx/ DHL type Turns out she was just a salesgirl and didn't own a dime That's how i got my 3rd babymama The End Culled from "The Memoirs of The Faceless Man"  100 Likes 4 Shares |
| Literature › Re: The Mile High Club by TheFacelessMan(op): 7:56pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
Younghacka:Hehehehe. Tell the mods to push it to FP. I want an audience to enjoy the story. |
| Romance › Re: South African Government To Ban Doggy Style by TheFacelessMan: 7:46pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
I banned it once in of Kingdom of Dahomey. |
| Crime › Re: She Aborted My Pregnancy. I Have No Regrets - Man Who Set Ex's Family Ablaze by TheFacelessMan: 7:42pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
 ....I don't wanna divulge the death i have in mind for this guy. I have a fertile mind. All i can say is find a way of killing him 7 times. 2 Likes |
| Events › Re: Cute Photos From The Wedding Ceremony Of A Military Officer And His Love Bird by TheFacelessMan: 7:30pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
Topmaike007: |
| Events › Re: Cute Photos From The Wedding Ceremony Of A Military Officer And His Love Bird by TheFacelessMan: 7:28pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
I have been married 7 times.. and each time the photoshoot involved a color we must not repeat again. It must be a certain colour for everything....down to our panties! That's what the culture dictates ... |
| Crime › Re: Man Flings $100 Bills From Moving Jeep On Express Road In Abuja by TheFacelessMan: 7:22pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
I once did this on the streets of Freetown, Sierra Leone. 16 Likes 1 Share |
| Crime › Re: POLICE OFFICER WHO HIRED A FRIEND TO GET HIS WIFE PREGNANT, TAKES HIM TO COURT by TheFacelessMan: 7:03pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
I was hired to shoot sperms into women for a living back in the days... 1 Like |
| Health › Re: Doctor Uses Slippers As A Neck Collar To Save Accident Victim(photos) by TheFacelessMan: 7:01pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
omobs:Mobutu's cousin, here you are |
| Crime › Re: Uber driver strips down to after he was fined by airport tow truck driver by TheFacelessMan: 7:01pm On Apr 30, 2019*. Modified: 9:21pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
I was a Uber Driver as far back as 1995  I got a beep on my pager "Risikatu Oni-Ponmo" requesting a ride to UBA, Oshodi" Whether her yellow skin was factory-fitted or not follow come, that i can't say... She told me to wait for her when she got to UBA with her friend. AAAAA>>>>GBAAAAAA>>>GBBBAAAA" I heard some bangers going off in the bank. Are they celebrating Christmas? Who does that in June? Next thing I know, Risi was stepping over the front guard who looked up at her and she fired straight into his head. I frozen in place like a bronze statue in Benin City. My mouth wide open, eyes struggling to pop from the sockets Just as i sank my keys in ignition after fumbling for the right one....i felt cold steel at my temple.... Culled from "The Memoirs of The Faceless Man" 33 Likes 1 Share |
| Celebrities › Re: Ned Nwoko Laughs As Comedian Shortcut Cracks Him Up by TheFacelessMan: 6:59pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
Regina - Queen of hype. Let me liven up this silly thread a bit. TheFacelessMan: 17 Likes 1 Share |
| Crime › Re: Ifeanyi Nwokolo: Man Kills Wife For Demanding Too Much Sex From Him Before Vigil by TheFacelessMan: 6:58pm On Apr 30, 2019*. Modified: 9:04pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
IvarTheTerrible: 3 Likes 3 Shares |
| Travel › Re: You Need A National Identification Number To Get The New International Passport by TheFacelessMan: 6:48pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
In my days as a Lawbreaker, I had 6 passports of different West African countries in my past as a car smuggler. All had different DOBs, aliases and etc. Unfortunately, i didn't have the foresight... Now, i am a Lawmaker and Citizens from the SIX countries have been banned from travelling to the developed world 6 Likes |
| Health › Re: Doctor Uses Slippers As A Neck Collar To Save Accident Victim(photos) by TheFacelessMan: 6:48pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
Eddy000:Please read again. Thanks for the assist |
| Sports › Re: Cristiano Ronaldo Shows Off CR7 Boots After 600th Career Goal (Photos) by TheFacelessMan: 6:44pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
Many years ago i was the world's top goalscorer. I was so deadly i had an average of 5 goals per game.... BUT there was no offside rule and you could use your hands anytime you wanted! 98% of my goals were offsides. 1.9% handballs The End! 12 Likes 1 Share
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| Science/Technology › Re: Man Poses With Life Python On His Neck In Imo,says They Don't Bite(photos) by TheFacelessMan: 6:39pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
Angelawhite:Yeah. My ghost said Hi |
| Foreign Affairs › Re: Omar al-Bashir Stoned, Transported Like Cow To Prison (Photos) by TheFacelessMan: 6:33pm On Apr 30, 2019*. Modified: 7:40pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
Once upon a time...i was a Prince in the Kingdom of Dahomey. I was seated on my throne one honey on each arm...2 lying on my leopard skin rug.... The skin was real! I killed it myself, don't be doubting me! My son, the 35th ? Or 36th one ? I can't remember their numbers, 4 women were claiming they had a package on the way... 0.5 x 4 + 35 = ? Anyways, back to my story.... The boy was running from the direction of the sea, eyes bulging in their sockets, struggling to contain his excitement just like any 4 year old. Forgive me now if i can't recall his name, he was Abdul-something. Who memorizes 35+ names by the way? PAPAAAAA!!!!! He cried out like the cute monkey he was.... Following him closely were my warriors in their full regalia, masks, shields, spears and all... They had a man in between them, his skin was a WHITE as ours was BLACK. His eyes were sea blue unlike our brown ones. The date ? I have forgotten again! It was sometime in the 18th Century, if memory serves me right. To be continued ..... 12 Likes |
| Science/Technology › Re: Man Poses With Life Python On His Neck In Imo,says They Don't Bite(photos) by TheFacelessMan: 6:08pm On Apr 30, 2019*. Modified: 9:22pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
Once upon a time i was a zookeeper in San Diego. I was whistling to myself, " i am the king of the jungle, lord of the rings" at the top of my voice as i went to feed the chimpanzees in Cage 7. The parrots had joined in, providing a chorus. Suddenly, i noticed that i was the only one singing. Every animal had turned silent , you could almost hear a pin drop ! It seemed even the air had paused blowing. I slowwwwwwllllyyyyyyy turned back I had forgotten to lock Cage 9, Kumbaya's cage! Kumbaya was a giant silverback gorilla at least 400 pounds in weight and 7 feet tall. He had slowly opened the latch of his cage and he was with me in the corridor, 10 steps from me.... all his sharp pointy teeth on display The ground trembled and shook as he sprang towards me.... i was transfixed to the spot, 5 seconds and i would die..... 3 seconds..... he was upon me and his 2 huge palms landed on my shoulders...... preparing to tear my throat out I couldn't bear to look, i closed my eyes. I could smell his fetid, stinking breath as he opened his jaws..... i silently said my last prayers, soon to rest in peace or pieces ? And...........and....... I felt something liquid and hot on my face. BLOOD?!  My belly was already jelly!Trembling like a leaf, collapsing under his weight, i still couldn't open eyes... i just peeked through eyelashes.. Kumbaya was licking my face in appreciation for the song i was singing!!!! To be continued..... Culled from "The Memoirs of The Faceless Man" 47 Likes 3 Shares |
| Celebrities › Re: Meet 48 Years Old, Vladimír Furdík Who Played Night King In Game Of Thrones by TheFacelessMan: 6:07pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
Many full moons ago, i fought with a real Night Walker |
| Crime › Re: Sex Worker: Task Force Members Had Sex With Some Ladies & Released Them In Abuja by TheFacelessMan: 5:42pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
I was a gigolo on the beaches of The Great Gambia many decades ago...u 1 Like |
| Crime › Re: Pay N5000 Or Have Sex With Us: Policemen Tell Women Arrested In Abuja Night Club by TheFacelessMan: 5:33pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
Once upon a time, i was a policeman. |
| Crime › Re: 2 Kidnappers Caught In Bayelsa, One Beaten To Death By Mob (Graphic Photos) by TheFacelessMan: 5:31pm On Apr 30, 2019 |
Some years back, i was a pig-napper. 1 Like |
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