TheFacelessMan's Posts
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 Crime › Re: Oko Polytechnic Student Commits Suicide by TheFacelessMan: 1:45pm On May 27, 2019 |
Kai. One of those WhatsApp statuses..... I almost died reading it.  |
| Family › Re: Children's Day 2019: What Is One Of Your Favorite Childhood Memories? by TheFacelessMan: 11:09am On May 27, 2019 |
 Escaping from wild animals. |
| Nairaland General › Re: What Is The Biggest Life Lesson You Have Learnt? by TheFacelessMan: 10:22am On May 27, 2019 |
gnykelly:
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| Nairaland General › Re: What Is The Biggest Life Lesson You Have Learnt? by TheFacelessMan: 10:19am On May 27, 2019 |
gnykelly:I do have a preference for your mum's breastmilk  2 Likes
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| Nairaland General › Re: What Is The Biggest Life Lesson You Have Learnt? by TheFacelessMan: 10:14am On May 27, 2019 |
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| Nairaland General › Re: What Is The Biggest Life Lesson You Have Learnt? by TheFacelessMan: 9:43am On May 27, 2019*. Modified: 10:15am On May 27, 2019 |
| Nairaland General › Re: What Is The Biggest Life Lesson You Have Learnt? by TheFacelessMan: 9:43am On May 27, 2019*. Modified: 7:02pm On May 27, 2019 |
 .. Survival skills. In 1980, i got lost at the Serengeti National Park in Tanzania. This is the true story of how i survived my ordeal with wildlife. How did I get lost ? I was obviously not listening to the tour guide. It was going to be dark soon and the predators would come out for prey. Using my Boy Scout skills, I made a fire and prepared to settle for the night. I was almost dozing off when I was startled by the howl of a wild dog The wild dogs were ferocious killers who would eat chunks of flesh from you while alive. The dogs kept calling to each other and I knew they were drawing closer and closer Everything went silent and I knew they had come! I strained my eyes to see, listened with bated breath for where / when the attack will come... ...which soon did. The pack of 5 dogs came into the clearing, led by the Alpha  The Alpha was a cocky m'fucker, thick of neck and a smile full of teeth...very big and sharp  I was armed only with a machete for clearing the bush...nothing else! There were no 2nd chances. It was Life or Death. ..... any mistake and i would be torn into pieces. I snatched a branch out of the fire and they ran off. But came back a few seconds later. I was dinner for them, they got bolder and bolder on each return. Encountered wild dogs...... croc......lion....hippopotamus..... 16 Likes 1 Share
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| Politics › Re: Second Term: I Don’t Want To Be Reappointed As Buhari’s Minister – Lokpobiri by TheFacelessMan: 8:39am On May 27, 2019 |
Preempting the inevitable.... 1 Like |
| Family › Re: Happy Children's Day! by TheFacelessMan: 6:54am On May 27, 2019 |
I would have dropped a story but my stories are PG18. Happy Children's Day! I remember being undercover at a teenager's birthday.... |
| Travel › Re: Is It Safe To Jump Out Of A Vehicle To Avoid Being In An Accident? by TheFacelessMan: 5:52am On May 27, 2019*. Modified: 6:30am On May 27, 2019 |
| Politics › Re: VIDEOS Of Asari Dokubo Warning Nnamdi Kanu And IPOB. by TheFacelessMan: 4:31pm On May 26, 2019 |
IvarTheTerrible:Say NO to tribalism |
| Travel › Re: Train Caught Fire In Mushin, Lagos (Photos) by TheFacelessMan: 8:09am On May 26, 2019 |
chloride6:Thanks a lot Bro. You also have great comments.. Believe me, i noticed! |
| Education › Re: Nigeria’s Olutimehin Adegbeye Wins The 2019 Gerald Kraak Prize by TheFacelessMan: 4:17am On May 26, 2019 |
Omoluabis - ever excellent... ever brilliant. Intellect beyond measure! 1 Like 1 Share |
| Crime › Re: The Migrant Spy: A True Life Story by TheFacelessMan: 12:15am On May 26, 2019 |
Excellent story. But it seems the BBC plagiarized copiously from The Memoirs of a Faceless man. They would be hearing from my lawyers..... or worse, me - the personal touch |
| Webmasters › Re: Nairalanders, How Did You Discover Nairaland? by TheFacelessMan: 7:38pm On May 25, 2019 |
I discovered Nairaland while on a special mission to terminate the life of a Nigerian dictator. The man was always in dark glasses and was feared by all....but me. I met one young fresh ajebo boy on the bus. He introduced himself as "Master Seun Osewa" He said he had dreams then.... i thought he was outta his mind 5 Likes
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| Travel › Re: Train Caught Fire In Mushin, Lagos (Photos) by TheFacelessMan: 7:01pm On May 25, 2019 |
dapadawee:My story was actually because of Burning Train...but i felt most people here wouldn't even know it |
| Travel › Re: Train Caught Fire In Mushin, Lagos (Photos) by TheFacelessMan: 7:00pm On May 25, 2019*. Modified: 8:37am On May 26, 2019 |
I once fought on a burning train in Bombay. Figure 1 : Anatoli vs TheFacelessMan [img]https:///media/10-28-2015/5w3HhV.gif[/img] I was on my way to Nepal to deliver an encrypted microfilm when 3 rough looking gentlemen came into Cabin 13. The leader was Anatoli Kontarsky, the head of the Killing, Interrogation and Disposal department of the KGB (FSB) My heart sank looking into his emotionless icy blue eyes. He was said to have tortured a defector for 32 good hours removing ALL his teeth. As they ushered me between passengers, i wondered how long i would endure before breaking under interrogation in their cabin. The train lurched to a stop, i slammed the head of the captor infront of me on the glass and threw him off the decelerating train. "Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....Arghhh" 2 on 1. The odds seemed much better. I grabbed a perfume from a ladies bag nearest to me and quickly turned fo face no 2. I sprayed him liberally and he put an arm up to protect his eyes. He broke into a smile after i had finished - " i smell nice now, ja?? " https://thumbs.gfycat.com/MinorRashBaleenwhale-size_restricted.gif The smile was wiped off when i did this.... https://thumbs.gfycat.com/IdenticalRegalGallinule-size_restricted.gif 27 Likes 1 Share |
| Events › Re: "Please Attend My Burial"- Dead Man Begs People To Come For His Burial In Poster by TheFacelessMan: 6:30pm On May 25, 2019 |
hopexter: |
| Events › Re: "Please Attend My Burial"- Dead Man Begs People To Come For His Burial In Poster by TheFacelessMan: 6:22pm On May 25, 2019*. Modified: 6:52pm On May 25, 2019 |
I was almost buried alive in Cruz Azul, Mexico in 1999. I was a hitman for the Sinaloa cartel We made a decision to uproot the Mendellin crew, our major rivals. So..... we killed one of the favourite nephews of Don Carlos Asprilla. The funeral was in the public cemetery full of tombstones and mausoleums. Where i was..... it was dark and cramped. I was sweating in my suit. Waiting for showtime, barely able to breathe. I listened with my ears to wood, hearing the pastor preach to hardened criminals who didn't believe in Heaven/Hell The moment i heard "ashes to ashes, and dust to dust" I opened the lid of the coffin next to the funeral party and came out guns ablazing ! [img]https:///media/5-25-2019/2KgDWs.gif[/img] 9 Likes 1 Share |
| Politics › Re: Femi Fani-Kayode: Nigeria - The Road To Rwanda, 6 Steps To Genocide by TheFacelessMan: 5:44pm On May 25, 2019 |
He is one of the chief instigators. 7 Likes 2 Shares |
| Crime › Re: The Moment A Train Caught Fire In Mushin, Lagos by TheFacelessMan: 5:41pm On May 25, 2019 |
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| Crime › Re: The Moment A Train Caught Fire In Mushin, Lagos by TheFacelessMan: 3:53pm On May 25, 2019*. Modified: 5:40pm On May 25, 2019 |
I once fought on a burning train in Bombay. [img]https:///media/10-28-2015/5w3HhV.gif[/img] I was on my way to Nepal to deliver an encrypted microfilm when 3 rough looking gentlemen came into Cabin 13. The leader was Anatoli Kontarsky, the head of the Killing, Interrogation and Disposal department of the KGB (FSB) My heart sank looking into his emotionless blue eyes. He was said to have tortured a defector for 32 good hours removing ALL his teeth. As they ushered me between passengers, i wondered how long i would endure before breaking under interrogation in their cabin |
| Crime › Re: Funny Precautions Nigerians Take To Avoid Being Kidnapped by TheFacelessMan: 10:18am On May 25, 2019 |
My precaution is a Remington bullpup rifle that i keep hidden in my Agbada. Whether it is a kidnapper's head or my balls it would blast off, i don't know... but it would sha blast something. 84 Likes 5 Shares
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| Politics › Re: The New Tin Can Park Where All The Trucks And Trailers At Apapa Will Use (Pics) by TheFacelessMan: 5:47am On May 25, 2019 |
TAO11:Omoluabi ni mi. Just found the idea of kiko ila fun oyinbo funny. LexngtonSteele & MartinCorridon are your friends i know them or him FAR better than anyone alive or dead can. I hope you catch my drift. We are on the same side. 3 Likes |
| Politics › Re: The New Tin Can Park Where All The Trucks And Trailers At Apapa Will Use (Pics) by TheFacelessMan: 5:45am On May 25, 2019 |
4dchairman:Learn the meaning of BITTERNESS as a word before spouting foolishness |
| Politics › Re: The New Tin Can Park Where All The Trucks And Trailers At Apapa Will Use (Pics) by TheFacelessMan: 5:44am On May 25, 2019 |
mmsen: |
| Politics › Re: The New Tin Can Park Where All The Trucks And Trailers At Apapa Will Use (Pics) by TheFacelessMan: 5:06am On May 25, 2019 |
1 Like |
| Politics › Re: The New Tin Can Park Where All The Trucks And Trailers At Apapa Will Use (Pics) by TheFacelessMan: 5:05am On May 25, 2019 |
Yorubaland All clients, black, yellow or white must collect yoruba ID card there i.e. tribal marks. All those Oyinbo would collect "tiger claw marks" 16 Likes 2 Shares |
| Politics › Re: Nobody Complained I Stole Their Money – Patience Jonathan by TheFacelessMan: 5:03am On May 25, 2019 |
2 Likes 1 Share
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| Romance › Re: Hey, Guys, Will You Accept Marriage Proposition From A Lady? by TheFacelessMan: 6:25pm On May 24, 2019 |
I did... i was broke and hungry. But she was a joke and ugly. All i wanted as a bloke was a girl so cuddly PS - I think i write stories better than poems  1 Like |
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