₦airaland Forum

Ebonyeyes:
I guess you have to have one last conversation with her and tell her that you would probably rather go to hell and have a great time with the devil _{of course you shouldnt use the exact same words} than get back with her

I don't mind using those exact words if that will get her off my back.  

izeek:
well the cyber world is much smaller than we think it is.

it's not so diff finding out about ppl or things on the net.

your bedroom can be invaded in the cyber world, as long as the person has the right access.

in her case, she seems to be in your face, but u can be rid of her if you want to.

maybe u shud grant her a final audience and tell her its really over as u can't bring urself to love her again.

and after that is she bothers u, well u bera threaten her like spikey said.

tell her u r from naija delta, and u wud arrange her kidnap if she dont backoff.  

She's on my face like a mask I have talked this out over and over with her but she doesn't want to agree it's over. I wasn't into comics with her when I was expressing this. I vehemently stood my ground to pass this across. She's just one crazy thing.

Why do you think I get furious when these bunch of akatas start bringing up cases of Naija brothers on NL? Those white chaffs are just bloody cheats and are way too bossy -- whatever they do is right as long as you're black, you have to accept their mistake with the right or wrong justification.

Ebonyeyes:
And you are my golden boy I guess some people dont like the truth uh?

Some people don't like the truth when it's a bit harsh, but I think you're alright with your comment. As long as you don't throw around the habit of attacking people directly like I speculated the other day, you'll be exculpated unlike one who's known for her wild 'expression of opinion'

What? She's my golden girl out here

joxiri:
@ the seeker, I dont even consider what she is doing as stalking, for some reason, i just think the babe really likes you fair enough she has bad attitude, cos you guys have not spoken face to face about the break up which I think you should do and i think when you do tell her face to face i doubt if she will stalk you anymore (as you call it)
  Your story is a bit complicated sha cos i think you can sort something out if you like the babe if not fashi her, maybe she genuinely likes you more that the guy who knows
and did she demand money from you, cos maybe she sees you as an opportunity to get money as you come across as someone who is well off, correct me if I am wrong

There's no point talking about it in person because she'll say the same thing she's been telling me, and I'm not about to compromise my stance as well. I do understand where you're coming from though but I don't think that's going to solve the problem. She claims I still have feelings for her -- a blatant lie -- and having her come see me will further prove her right in her own mind. She's NEVER demanded money from me.

spikedcylinder:
First thing I realised from the original post is that you're finicky (just last night, I was accused of being finicky too ). You get irked by mundane things (something you accused her of) and you seem flippant in the way you treat people and address issues. However, that is no longer an issue since for you, the relationship has ended.

How do you think she'll respond to threats? That is a serious question.

You think threatening her will be another solution? I don't think she can be frightened but she does hate being cussed (not that I ever cussed her). Shawtie, by saying 'finicky' how do you mean? Exacting, demanding, picky, choosy, or meticulous? If you mean picky, yes, I am. Demanding? No! I give women their much needed freedom and I don't impose; can you be a bit more specific?

henryhemon:
@The seeker,
I did say there is nothing you can do about it right now,i mean you can stop her from those behaviors,all you need do is keep ignoring her as if she doesn't exist and don't let her bother you. Belief me she will get tired and give up.

I hope so.

izeek:
a year is a long time to be out of a relationship and still want in back.

its either she does really love you, or is a stalker like claimed.

that said, i dont think you gave her enought ime to explain herslf, or u basically expected too much when she did not see it it as that.

either ways, u have moved on like u said, then ignore her and am sure she will tire out.


but bros, why u rush come tell your story, u scared she gonna spill on u soon since u said she on here too?

Well, I had it to its highest altitude yesterday when I saw another dimension to the stalking. Tiptoeing behind me to Nairaland is like following me into my bedroom. . . . that's very crazy. I'm still in amazement how she got to know about Nairaland -- it still beats me. I'm not rushing to tell the story, obviously, she's got nothing on me. I'm clean

kosovo:
sigh, A truly pathetic situation, well i ve had an almost similar situation, and sine then i ve seen most chicks as a completely delusional moronic excuse for a human being. M sorry,
@The seeker, m glad to hear that you were wise enough to have understood the whole situation and have equally have gotten over it, sometimes sh*t happens, and most times the greatest efforts yields no profits.

I've got over it a long time ago. I did love her to be honest but then came lies, then came the treachery and that isn't my turf, I had to walk. But this chic, I don't know what to make of her. It's going to be a year in less than 2 months yet, doesn't want to give up. I really don't want to set my eyes on her for any reason. . . each time I see her trying to get at me, it irritates me to the fullest.

^^^ The traits I noticed could have been something else and not cheating, so it wasn't really much like I was expecting her to change but I was waiting on seeing if they'd be a little different or if they'd have to be habits. I didn't tell her about my social networks, not even facebook.

I couldn't have said I revealed beyond the ordinary, after all, relationship is all about openness. There's nothing she could possibly haunt me for and/or with, maybe I'm not comfortable with her running to my friends and brother about me after her horrible action -- I feel she doesn't deserve all the audience they give her too and I've sternly warned them not to pay her any sort of attention in the slightest the next time she does come to them.

^^^ I have no idea. Tell me.

whitelexi:
Dude, dont talk to her anymore, on the phone, on the PC, by fax, beeper or whateva. Just make sure u tell her not to forget u warned her!

Make it clear to her that u r no longer interested, she's thinking there might still be something in there for her. Get another girlfriend, get very public with her, make a stand about whose house it is, and who the guest is. . . make it clear she's an unwelcome guest!

Do u have dogs? I dont mean tiny terriers, Do u have proper savage dogs, dogs that can be mean when u need them to, Alsatians, German shepherds, and mongrels of mastiffs and Dobermans? Get them prepared.

I don't respond to her anymore but her invasion on my peaceful existence? 34 messages and still more to come. . . crazy!

I have stated my stance time and time and time and time again but she's just too adamant. You think I'd let her come over and I invite my dogs for a very nice meal? Lexi, you're too bad but I might list that along with my preferred options.

Option 1. Call her nasty names - which I'm refraining from

Option 2. Invite her over and let my dogs make a feast on her; but how does that change her from stalking me? More than 11 websites and she's just there letting me know she's seen me and watching me I wish there could be an invented technology where I can shoot her from my computer

^^^ Recycle with who? Name the people

You always love putting words in my mouth rather than take them? I wasn't playing her and I didn't nurse such intention. I meant player in the sense of a smart person who usually is on acute alert, observant and watchful.

I have a good sentence for him. Put two rods in fire until they are red hot. Put one of them in his anus, remove and put back into the fire. Bring out the other one and cut every one of his fingers every 1 hour - do the same with the toes. Finally, slit his throat with the first red hot rod.

[quote author=oyinda. link=topic=336020.msg4715692#msg4715692 date=1255331441]how can u not find the humor in it.
meriting the spot on her facebook seem to be the highlight of your fault with her. plus the fact that u dated her for probably over a year and didn't know abt the other guy. kinda ironic and also tells a lot about the kind of r/s u have with her. well at least, the way you put your story forward makes your r/s with her seem very superficial. but i'm sure there are other deep aspects

manure fertilizer is da bomb[/quote]'Meriting' the spot on her facebook was an attack line to combat her assertion that she loves me and that I'm more important to her than the other guy; the fault I picked evidently, was that she has another boyfriend. Maybe if I had suspected or doubted her I could have known a bit earlier. Trust me, I did see some signs but they were too minute for me to start digging deep into, and also I thought I didn't need to express any kind of doubt in any relationship I was and/or I'm in, not then, not now, not ever.

I couldn't have known about the other guy if I hadn't checked her facebook profile or if she hadn't carelessly put him on her profile. First of all, she lives in Australia, so is the guy and I don't live anywhere close to them. When I was there I noticed no trace neither was there anything for me to have suspected so. She just was successful at cloaking the whole omen but hey, shit happens. Players, even and very squarely, get played. I knew on time though, at least, I took consolation in the fact that if she was anywhere closer to me I'd have known the first few months.

Assuming you were offered US$900 billion to jeopardize your ONLY chance of going to heaven, will you accept the offer and go to hell?

Yes, job creation in OBJ's Ota farm is one of Yara'die's 7-point agenda.

If one of OBJ or IBB was presented as a candidate for the presidential election in 2011 to run against Yaradua, who would you vote and why?

Secretz:
sweetheart, this na A-level assignment oh . . . . wetin be as brief and as graphic as possible about this?

Please do not hesitate to tell her exactly how you feel, do not leave ANYTHING out . . . . feel free to even call her a few names lol . . . . . however, you also have the choice to ignore her.

I'm trying to be a gentleman my beautiful angel. . . keep praying that I uphold the positive attitude

[quote author=oyinda. link=topic=336020.msg4715586#msg4715586 date=1255328629]first of all, you must have money plenty in your pocket to finance all these globe trotting u've described.

secondly, you do seem to be important to her. i mean why else will she she be spending months vacation with u from australia? unless she also has plenty money in her pocket. lol

and lastly, she added u as friend so, it seems that she really wasn't trying to hide anything from u. it also seems to me that you knew she had a guy but u just wanted your position to be greater than the other guy's rather than below it like u eventually found out.

^ NL quote of the year. my ribs are still hurting[/quote]When did you return from that farm you were posted for internship?

[Quote author=oyinda]and lastly, she added u as friend so, it seems that she really wasn't trying to hide anything from u. it also seems to me that you knew she had a guy but u just wanted your position to be greater than the other guy's rather than below it like u eventually found out. [/Quote]

I didn't know about the guy until this happened neither did she tell me she was having a pending relationship. I was just surprised I saw that despite her holistic claims of loving and wanting me so badly; see, I didn't want to take it serious at first but then I thought, this is facebook, lots of people come on there and for her to have put him up there, he's hell of more important than I can ever be -- or is it because I'm black? I asked her.

I'm not that cheap to be a second boyfriend to a woman and definitely not a white woman. I've been there with them and done it, they are all the same but this one is definitely a case with the largest number of files.

NL Quote of the year? What's funny about it?

Posakosa, I feel where you're coming from. I have told her in the most respectful manner, many times that I've lost count, that we can't date anymore and matter of fact, I'm not interested in being friends with her. I made my stand known very clearly. I didn't mince words neither did I speak with tongues in my mouth. I expressly told her. I really don't have a problem with her wishing to have me back but I have a problem with her perturbing my peace. Imagine the number of text messages I got in less than 6 hours, 23. And yes, for the record, she's white.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

y me:
lol
i am just too hot jare
and my kids are gonna be that sweet candy that the world wants to have

Last time I checked, people don't keep candies, they eat them Are you implying your children will be eaten?

y me:
8pm where are u
its 5:05am right here
come on the baby is for IFELEKE, the DNA result confirmed it

Yes, 8.12pm in the city of LAX. Confirmed? I'd like to see documentations, you can pass it on through my newest girlfriend, Ebonyeyes; but if you wish not to make it public, have it sealed and mark the envelope, CONFIDENTIAL.

Do you go to bed at 8pm? Unborn child for IFELEKE? How do we even know he's responsible for that preggo and not N2D? I need proof

In my opinion and very much in line with the Bible, you don't expect or pray that your enemy die. In fact, you don't wish them ill. A true Christian will pray for a change of heart for the wicked and that's what evangelism is all about. Have you forgotten the Bible said that a prayer for your detractors is likened to heaping hot coal on their heads? Did your pastor skip this part of the Bible?

If believers were praying for the death of their enemies, where do you think apostle Paul would have ended? Her persecuted the church, remember? Get your facts straight and stop living in the footprints of mere humans, mind you, so many pastors aren't living according to the Bible but who are we to judge however, it'll be rewarding to follow the teachings of the scriptures and not just what your pastors tell you to do.

You mentioned David as cursing Goliath? Exactly, how did he say it? I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts is now a curse? I'll defeat you is now a curse? Do you know that this same David, when he was being hunted by King Saul sang for him and wished him well? Stop living in darkness and follow the Bible.

OK. Back to the topic. . . . I'm on lockdown, yeah?

y_me in N2D's bedroom? IFELEKE must hear this

^^^ Yeah?

Gators, speaking of your new pic which I checked with reference from y_me, you look like one of my cousins - she's a wicked soul

^^^ Excuse me

Sorry for the long post. I was trying to be as brief and as graphic as possible.

December 2007, I was at the airport and I met this beautiful looking damsel at the lobby - she was just coming around with her luggage. I was tempted to help her but I was tired too. I couldn't take my eyes off her for a second and right there I began fantasizing making her exactly mine. She had very great physique any man would ever have wished for. I thought to myself I can't start chasing from there owing to my tiredness.

As fate would have it, I was sat and surprisingly but quietly, she was seated next to me. I couldn't muster a word. But one thing led to the other, we started conversing; we talked for about 30 minutes or so and we exchanged contact details. She's Australian in her early twenties. We hooked up later the next week, we talked, I took her out on a very long and interesting sightseeing. She loved every moment we spent, so did I. She returned to Australia a week later and we remained friends thereafter keeping in touch by e-mail, chats, phone calls and text messages - just about any means available to be in touch.

After a few months we both liked each other, subsequently we upped it to a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, which undoubtedly was sweet. She visited me a couple of times from Australia, more often than anyone would have agreed with (as if she was staying within a few thousand miles from me). When she came on each occasion, the least time she spent on one of the trips was 3 weeks and the most was 7 weeks. All in all, we were very intimate and rather closer that I often lost count that she stays in Australia. I was there, of course, four times but my stay on each visit was short. I met with some of her brothers - but it's not one of those official introductions, just a plain getting to know each other. We haven't come to the part of making it a full-blown commitment just yet at that time.

She had a few problems that I noticed but I hung on to see if she'll change perhaps I was too lenient to understand that it was her habit, but I gave her the benefit of doubt; also note that while I was doing the wait, I reliably told her what I don't feel comfy with about her but either she avoids it by giving me flimsy excuses or she just laughs it off as a joke (I did end up laughing with her a few times and that's about it).
I made it clear at other instances I didn't want the trend to continue. The problems were: firstly, she whines too much about very unimportant things -- I mean very nonsensical things that she could've looked over. For instance, one day we were talking and I wanted to watch a game -- the discussion wasn't too intense for me not to break it up then to get to the game -- so I told her I'd call her back after the game. She kept talking about how I ignored her because of that one incident.

Another problem she had was asking lousy questions. You know those kinds of questions you already know answers to but you just want to ask to irk someone or make them feel uneasy either intentionally or otherwise - whatever the heck she meant - and these were so annoying. She didn't listen to me too. She always thought her opinions were the best and each time she failed, she banked on me to rescue her, and while I'm on the mission of rescue, if I offer further advice she junks them and take up hers. She had this superiority complex - not confidence - that exasperated me and still does, to boundless limits.

To be succinct, I was checking my facebook profile one day and I saw she's added me as a friend. I wasn't hiding my facebook from her but I seldom visited it (I still do) - anyway, she added me, I accepted the invite and checked her profile. I looked at her relationship status and just as I expected it read In a relationship and my face beamed with a smile but I got the greatest shock when I found out my name wasn't on it, another dude's name was. I didn't say a word about it. I added the dude from another facebook handle and we got talking there, and note that this process took about a few weeks but I was patient to find out what's going on as I wanted to get her pants-down. Later on, he told me she was his girlfriend and that they live in the same province. I was disappointed than hurt. I confronted her and she had absolutely nothing to say than that she's sorry and it was a mistake. She started telling me I was more important than the guy in her life; that all her friends know about me (which was true) and so does the guy because she tells him I'm important to her (which was a lie) and he in turn accepted the fact but decided to roll along with her. I asked her why I didn't merit the spot on her FB and there was no concrete response to that.

On the go, we broke up and that was it. However, the problem I have right now is she keep stalking me on every social networking site I register on. She's traced me to Nairaland (but I won't reveal her ID just yet). I blocked her off my FB, YM, email addresses and tagged her as spam but every time she keeps creating new IDs to disturb my peace: calling my phone, sending me emails, buzzing my YM, sending me text messages, etc. Now, she's threatening that as long as she lives, she'll ensure I don't have a girlfriend unless we get back to dating again. This same girl goes around asking my friends to talk to me, so does she talk to one of my brothers to do same. I have repeatedly told her it's over but she appears not to care at all. . . . according to her, she still claims I have feelings for her but pretending because I was hurt by what she did (very laughable consoling opinion). This has been going on for close to one year.

Now, has anyone been in this position before? What did you do? What do you suggest? She's saying she'll fly to come see me, I don't like the idea and not that I'm going to be tempted but I'm just disgusted too much at her to even set my eyes on her. Do you think it's a good idea I let her come and sort this out in person? I don't want to fly there either, NOT even any of my options. What do you suggest be done?

Does anyone have a similar story? Just keep your comments coming.

PS: I've already moved past the relationship, I just don't like my peace being perturbed neither do I like my name being mentioned around a controversial case.

What is up with parents imposing on their wards to get married against their own preferred pace? Wait a minute, your parents, are they from the 12th century?

The idea is simplicity. It's supposed to be a proposal, right? Make it simple, short but thoughtful, romantic and sincere and the rest is easy. You don't have to start rehearsing proposing to the woman you intend spending the rest of your life with as if you're going for a job interview -- whatever way you do it, I'm sure she'll accept it graciously.