₦airaland Forum

Many of us guys think we are the one who actually made the first move in dating . the truth is, most girls admire a guy first before gauging ig he likes her too. Then she puts him in a position to ask her out. These are ways a lady examines a guy to know if he likes her


Withdrawal ; she turns herself off and just sit there to see if you would notice and talk to her. She walks away especting you to try to stop her

Sustaining ; if she notices the guy is shy, she starts asking question or starts telling more of herself. She takes more effort to keep the conversation , the more she talks about herself, the more she wants you to talk more of yourself
Hazing ; she test you to see how far you can go for her. She could ask you to do her a favour on Saturday evening when you should watching football or ask you to come suddenly to know if you will leave what you are doing and come.

Diminishing herself; she says “I am noit fine” she wants to know if you find her attractive. She points to another girl and ask you”is she not beautiful? Don’t look that way. Instead look her in the face and say “you are beautiful.

Offering ; she positions herself in a condition favourable condition for you to approach her and ask her out. She waits for everyone to leave so you can both be togethetr. Help you carry something. Knows your route and position herself there so you would see her everyday. Many girls do this

Networking ; she gets close to your friend and makes a positive comment about you. They know your friend would tell him about it. If he cares, he would come over for her
Jelousyu test ; describes a potential competitor and hope to observe a committed response from you
Open confrontation ; rarely happens. She ask the guy “ do you like me”?, comes closer to you and gazes your reaction. If you come close too, you like her. If you withdraw, you don’t like her.

“IF YOU DON’T LAND A NEW ACCOUNT by THE END OF NEXT MONTH, YOU WILL BE FIRED

Employee interpretation ; “ he threatens to sack me. I will loose my job. I better off start looking for a another job

What boss means ; be more interested in company making more money
The boss is worried that general manager would blame him if he doesn’t raise more fund
Employee isn’t working hard enough and tries to motivate him
Boss suggestion ;if you don’t get more fund, everyone doesn’t get more fund,company wont have fund. Less salary. Retrenchment of workers, everyone would go out of job

What to do; approach the boss with a work plan that shows you are trying to generate client for company.
Warning ; don’t address the issue of sack

1
Nduka’s wife comes in from work and sees Nduka watching Arsenal match.He didn’t achnowledge her entrance

“i am sick and tired of coming second in your life, I want a divorce”

WHAT HE HEARS ; “she wants a divorce”
What she actually means; I want to feel loved
I want to be respected
I want to be considered more important than sport
I want your attention more than sport
Her suggestion ; divorce is her suggestion of getting out of a “less loving relationship to a more respected one

What to do: Watch TV less when she is around.
Give her your attention.
Spend more time with her
WARNING ; DON’T ADDRESS THE ISSUE OF DIVORCE

THIS WOULD GUIDE US IN OUR DAILY INTERACTION WITH PEOPLE AT HOME, IN THE OFFICE AND IN SOCIETY.

thanki410:
Good one
moral lesson -do not rear dogs

huh

Last week, my best friend Jacky got really sick. At first, I thought it a minor issue. It was when the sickness got worse after three days that my eyes became clearer. My dog’s eyes were red and watery. It whined in pains when I tried touching it.
Jacky was the only loyal friend I had. It was more dependable than my parents, more faithful than my siblings and had taught me more lessons than any teacher ever did.
“mum, let’s take Jacky to the hospital” I said with tears at the verge of dripping from my eye. She gazed for a moment at my water-soaked eyes before replying.
“Junior, we don’t have any money.”
I was not keen on taking no for an answer.
“I will pay you back I promise”

Mum chuckled. How would a ten year old raise over ten thousand naira for medical bills for a dog when he is unable to raise three thousand naira for his school fees? There’s nothing I could do to save Jacky so I laid down on the floor beside him praying for God to heal him. Dad came back home from his futile hunting and had a long chat with mum.
“I will help Jacky “I overheard dad say before going to his room. My chicks dilated. My face was bright. Daddy was going to do something.
My hopes was dashed few minutes later when dad came back with a bullet, which he inserted into his hunting gun.
“let’s help Jacky die peacefully since it is going to die anyway” he said

“no “I screamed. “You can’t do this,” I protested. I wanted to punch daddy in the eye and make him blind. I felt like collecting the gun and killing him. I wandered why mum watched without resisting his idea. I blamed mum for everything. I pondered why mum despite coming from a poor background decided to marry dad- a poor man too. She would have remained single instead. That way would not have been born and Jacky couldn’t have died.
My attempt to struggle with dad failed woefully as he was much stronger than I was. I ran away from home not wanting to witness his death. I ran aimlessly until I met Okon and his sibling heading to the river for fishing. I joined them in their adventure. Together we caught twelve fish. I was given two in appreciation. I happily went home to show mum and dad the fish. I was expecting mum to yell at me for coming home late. Instead, I was patted at the back and ushered to eat my dinner.
The stew was watery as always. The rice was uncooked with stone particles mixed togetyher. I suspected the kerosene finished while cooking and I wasn’t nearby to fetch firewood so I decided not to complain. What amazed me was the big meat I found on my plate. Since I was born, I have never been served such big meat. It tasted different from the usual bush meat I have eaten. After eating the meat, I went outside to give the bones to Jacky as I always did. Only then did I realise that Jacky was no more and the bones in my hands were his remains. I had just eaten my best friend

Sapnaprem:
i no know say our VP don change name. FTC

how

more

President Buhari who led Nigeria out of financial recession was to receive the law ffrom GOD.HJe went with his private JET to collect the law ashe was instructed.he came back with a gloomy face. He knew his people would not accept one of his commandment. He was certain it was going to invoke the wrath of the people and could cost him his second term bid. He quickly sought counsel from his adviders. Mr lai mohanmed, thecountry minister of information advised him to embark on a three mointh trip abroad faking ill health and delegated the responsibility of defending the law before the senate to vice president prof osibanjo.the suggestion was well received by many. President buhari announced that the loudspeaker God used in speaking to him was so loud that it deafenes his ear. Consequently he would embark on emergency leave fo three months.

On the appointed day, acting president osibanjo presented the law to the senate.the senate president read the law to the hearing of the distinguish senators.

“thou shall have no other God before me” he read

Those in support of the adoption of that portion indicated by saying “AI” while those against said”NEY”
The former were in majority so he proceeded to the next law
“thou shall not make for thyself any graven image and bow to it”
Once again the Ais were in majority.he continued until he reached the six commandment.
“thou shall not commit adultery”
On hearing this, the whole senate bursted in chaos. It took special intervention of the sergent at arm to restore peace . ninty percent voted against while the remaining ten voted in favour.
Senator Yerima was the first to speak
“distinguish senators,variety is the spice of life.at times,I sleep with seven year old girls. Othertimes I sleep with elderly married men. I commited adultery yesterday, I will commit adultery today.my wife has not complained. She ia happy, I am happy everyone is happy so why is GOD SAD?
“your wife is not happy, she is crying deep inside. She has been praying to God to change your reckless livestyle.the under age girls you sleep with could contact VVF.you could inflict STD on your wife too.” The professor of law replied

Senator Dino Melaye, the controversial senator was the next in line
“what is God business with what I do in the bedroom. I hope he did not install a hidden camera to watch us when we are naked. He should respect our right to privacy.”

“God created you in his image. Your body is his temple. He has every right to intrude in your privacy the same way you intrude in your childs privacy. You are like a child to him.he owns you “

Senator Akpabio spoke last
“if one plate of meat doesn’t satisfy me, I can go outside and eat an extra plate. I think there are more presing need in the countrylike the biafran agitation and killing of Fulani herds men and God is more concerned with how I use my rod. I suggest we should strip GOD off his power. He should focus on installing new pope, general overseer and church leaders.
Finally,it was decided that GOD SHOULD BEsummoned to appear before the house of assembly in two weaks time. He must wear his Godly uniform. Prof Osibanjo objected that GOD doesn’t have a definite address and so couldn’t have his summon letters delivered to him. Senate president Saraki objected directing the professor to deliver the letter to God in prayers. The session came to an end

President Buhari who led Nigeria out of financial recession was to receive the law ffrom GOD.HJe went with his private JET to collect the law ashe was instructed.he came back with a gloomy face. He knew his people would not accept one of his commandment. He was certain it was going to invoke the wrath of the people and could cost him his second term bid. He quickly sought counsel from his adviders. Mr lai mohanmed, thecountry minister of information advised him to embark on a three mointh trip abroad faking ill health and delegated the responsibility of defending the law before the senate to vice president prof osibanjo.the suggestion was well received by many. President buhari announced that the loudspeaker God used in speaking to him was so loud that it deafenes his ear. Consequently he would embark on emergency leave fo three months.

On the appointed day, acting president osibanjo presented the law to the senate.the senate president read the law to the hearing of the distinguish senators.

“thou shall have no other God before me” he read

Those in support of the adoption of that portion indicated by saying “AI” while those against said”NEY”
The former were in majority so he proceeded to the next law
“thou shall not make for thyself any graven image and bow to it”
Once again the Ais were in majority.he continued until he reached the six commandment.
“thou shall not commit adultery”
On hearing this, the whole senate bursted in chaos. It took special intervention of the sergent at arm to restore peace . ninty percent voted against while the remaining ten voted in favour.
Senator Yerima was the first to speak
“distinguish senators,variety is the spice of life.at times,I sleep with seven year old girls. Othertimes I sleep with elderly married men. I commited adultery yesterday, I will commit adultery today.my wife has not complained. She ia happy, I am happy everyone is happy so why is GOD SAD?
“your wife is not happy, she is crying deep inside. She has been praying to God to change your reckless livestyle.the under age girls you sleep with could contact VVF.you could inflict STD on your wife too.” The professor of law replied

Senator Dino Melaye, the controversial senator was the next in line
“what is God business with what I do in the bedroom. I hope he did not install a hidden camera to watch us when we are naked. He should respect our right to privacy.”

“God created you in his image. Your body is his temple. He has every right to intrude in your privacy the same way you intrude in your childs privacy. You are like a child to him.he owns you “

Senator Akpabio spoke last
“if one plate of meat doesn’t satisfy me, I can go outside and eat an extra plate. I think there are more presing need in the countrylike the biafran agitation and killing of Fulani herds men and God is more concerned with how I use my rod. I suggest we should strip GOD off his power. He should focus on installing new pope, general overseer and church leaders.
Finally,it was decided that GOD SHOULD BEsummoned to appear before the house of assembly in two weaks time. He must wear his Godly uniform. Prof Osibanjo objected that GOD doesn’t have a definite address and so couldn’t have his summon letters delivered to him. Senate president Saraki objected directing the professor to deliver the letter to God in prayers. The session came to an end

hope elrufai will not sack them

but he is not a northerner.Okon na calabar name

lalastical

Why is football played for 45 minutes in each half? CAF president failed to answer this question at the latest press conference. Even the so called sports analysts, sports scientists and soccer legends do not know why. Just to help out you and all those who do not know, here is the answer: There are 2 teams and there are 11 players in each team, i.e 22 players. Each player brings his own *2 balls* (hidden in his sports underwear)! So in total there are 2 times 22 equals *44 balls*. There's one ball on the ground itself, being played. Thus the grand total is *45*. That's the answer.!!!! Of course, Sometimes there's extr

don't fall in love

Chelsea

keep spending money on them

the prophet never spoke English

blood of God

see hips

very good observation

why is my name not here

the button of my shirt

singles are good at giving love advice

break up with a them till February, 15

Seriously, considering the number of churches and haw they are progresin, openin branches and buying private jets., government is gradually mandating them to pay tax.small time they will register as PLC
if churches were alowd to sel their share to d public,would u buy? If yes, which one wil u buy?

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