₦airaland Forum

yan15:
present,what happening here??

modified
Thanks for the mention actually saw the thread I ignore it,cause I know toks2008 like write long Epistle but it worth reading. Am guilty of the above

Olodo

cococandy:
he likes calling married people who don’t agree with him teenagers. Yet he’s the one who can’t keep ordinary girlfriend. Probably because of his mumu opinions

looooool! @cant keep girlfriends... so at my age in life i should still be keeping girlfriends/ see why i call you a teenager because your mindset is still below the threshold.

I am a disciplined man and sexually decent, i can have tons of girlfriends if i want but i am too responsible for such pooh. And furthermore i do not expect everyone to agree with my stands but it becomes very appalling and worrisome if anyone just rants,curse and wail ithout making any reasonable counter opinion.

Amazingly most ladies wailing on this thread only focused on that cheating part neglecting other good points which goes to show the psyco destructive nature of humans.

ibkayee:
She'd probably just got through reading a Toks2008 thread lol

Which Kain wahala be this? wettin I do una?

makydebbie:
You guys above haven't thought about if the condom is hers {maybe she's cheating} and she mistakenly packed it with her husband's belongings?

Chai! see Devil just negodu.

Settingz321:
And my question still remain unanswered people have only succeeded in telling me my wife intentions for her act, but what should I do about it? Should I ignore it or address it?

Ofcourse tell her she needs not do that and assure her that you will always be faithful but please dont discourage her too much o cos you never can tell..those condoms might just be handy lol! just kidding.

One a serious note.you must understand that she wouldnt have done that if there was no lady going with you..you know someimes guys dont usually want to do but some of these ladies have a way of making us shey you know..so i guess she just acted incase..

Settingz321:
Just received this post now, the person in question need advice as to handle this.

Am dele, I got married to my 2yrs ago and no kid yet.... Recently I traveled for an office appointment issue which consist of 6 delegates i and 5 females, we are to spend like 3weeks, we lodge in a hotel with different room, while going through my belongings only to find out my wife packed condom along with it...... My worries is I've never cheated on her, and I've never given her the impression that I would, same as her to me.
Night before I traveled she has been questioning me y are they sending female along with me, I told her they play the key role there as am only to supervise there work, it's actually a female job, and she stopped worrying.

Now I don't know if to confront her on this or just ignore her action, but to be sincere I wasnt happy since, thinking she has lost the trust for me

Pls what should I do?

She has not lost any trust,she only acted in a proactive manner just incase..your wife is a very wise woman and she deserves a golden buzzer for that wise move..

Lalasticlala abeg help us push this thread out o..

Most of us do not remember what life was like before Kindergarten, but Angelica had already lived a lifetime by the time she finished Pre-K. She learned early on that life was not to be taken for granted. When she was only 4 years old, she developed a bacterial infection in her lungs that would develop into double pneumonia and cause her to go septic, destroying her kidneys and ravaging her body. She would be put on ECMO life-support at Children's Healthcare of Atlanta as a last ditch effort at saving her life. Two weeks on ECMO, many more weeks in the ICU, and a total of 80 days in the hospital, Angelica would finally return home with her family for the first time in three months, but her life would never be the same.A year and half latter she got a kidney from her mum and today she is back even stronger than ever before.

Indeed there can be miracles only if we believe.

I present to you the first runner up of America's got talent 2017,Angelica Hale performing "This girl is on fire"

Enjoy the Golden buzzer performance.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RjJLXY0BwQ

CC:
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WOMAN! The first wonder of the world.

Someone sent me the viral pics and the guy really gather and i really felt for the small girls he slept with according to the story...but now I'm reading something else.

jaheymezz:
okay Mr Men show me the curve he be like say Na Bb curve series this one dey talk about sha

Look again.

pautex:
BUT THIS BABE UGLY SHA OO I THINK WIZZY NEED A DNA TEST ASAP.

Boys judge a woman's outward beauty by her facial looks while men judge by her curves.

Queenserah26:
Sad, RIP to the dead

This was why I wrote this thread months ago
https://www.nairaland.com/3835190/dangerous-desire-ife-gbona
Lalasticlala can consider this for subsequent fpage content. ..quite insightful

shaybebaby:
Probably because from previous experience, they deem it better to not engage in the first instance. You know the yoruba adage, if you know you are not going to eat something, don't bother with even sniffing it.

Well in my school of thought,the greatest investment is the people you have in your life as friends and family.

I have countless mobile numbers of female friends and once in a while I send messages to them just to know how they fare and sometimes we discuss issues of interest without going near romance....that is purposeful friendship.

That guy you snubbed might just be the one that has the info to your next level in life and that guy you call a low life tout may turn out to the one of the robbers that you may come across and your warmness towards him might just save you.

Here is the gist,I'm a sociable person and I love meeting people and this has nothing to do with romance...if I urgently need a mate I know where to go...there are numerous dating sites and apps one can download and from my box room here I can select any lady of any exterior dimension and hook up without breaking a sweat.

Let's imbibe the culture of mixing up cos it helps a great deal...my advise to some ladies is that they should be more friendly and with the low cost of simcards they can just get a wattsup only number and this they can give out to any guy they feel like knowing rather than blocking people off their life.

shaybebaby:
Nope there are no guarantees in life. Risk cannot be eliminated but it can be minimised so in some cases, switching off is the response to achieve that.

Courtship/dating is a way of trying before you buy. A way of getting to know if you can stand someone in the longer term. You get to experience togetherness and see if it's something you want to keep or pass up on.

I don't know how you conduct your due diligence but for me, a person's values speaks a lot about them. Their perceptions of life and how they interact with others.

You for instance, your beliefs about marriage is something that is shared widely by african men. Because such is intolerable to me, I look to date from societies where people do not hold such beliefs. There are still cheats but because no one justifies it, chances are much lower for the naij mentality to survive there. People even lose careers because such acts speak of a lack of integrity.

Sure I can pass along my details but I'm not sure I'm representative of our sisters.

I sure understand you perfectly but from your angle,switching off means observing first while getting to know the person but from what I can observe, switching off means not communicating or interacting at all which I believe will not even give room to observing the person.

If I ask for your number and you don't give me,that is not switching off but total circuit cut. If you give me your number and I send you a message,you read it and you reply days latter even when the response was vital to me it's not switching off but immaturity.

But when you maintain friendship in a healthy way,you can still switch off your emotions while maintaining aquainternship...that I support but when you are not friendly at allll then that is strange.

The latter is what I observe from our sisters.

Ishilove:
She has got a banging hot body for a mother of 9.

That aside, this one pass mid-life crisis. If the Mamadou man and the lady had met prior to her travelling to Gambia, I would have said she has been deek whipped, but since this is not the case I will say it is the fantasy of a big black mandingo, as well as 'adventure' that has turned her head upside down.

Hediot woman.

To be fair though, women give and give and...give so much of themselves to their families that they get lost in the motions of family life. They feel stifled and sometimes just want to take a break from that soul bending monotony, and when some stranger comes to fill their head with rubbish, weaker ones like the one in this story go haywire. They see it as a chance to reclaim their individuality.

Sad

I can relate with this.

shaybebaby:
Well he wasn't a playboy, he just needed to get his mentality to the 21st century.

Get myself a naij boyfriend? No thanks, we all have our tastes so let's just celebrate our diversities.

You keep going on about drama and keeping friends off nl. A lot of people do, romance, friendship, business. Drama will find you if you are the dramatic type. And you sir, the shoe fits.

Sorry i dont talk boyfriends and girlfriends anymore..i mean a hubby. YES yes i know many western ladies dont care about hubbies so they go on and on keeping boyfriends but a time will always come when we will see the need for that.

shaybebaby:
You guys fail to realise that this mentality is the reason why a lot of black gals are switching off you folks, atleast here in the west.

Unlike you naij menfolk, our women do not have a tag here in the west.

And the question i ask is this; how has the switching off helped them wade off bad guys? Does switching guaranty that they will eventually say yes to a good guy?

And ladies will always castigate me for my threads...i once wrote a thread about due diligence as a formidable way to know the person in your life but they would rather prefer the flimsy facade called courtship.

If the right questions are asked and serious due diligence is done, a lady or guy will have a clue of the type of person in his or her life.

Imagine at my age telling a lady i dont have a wife or a child and some will just believe without asking some intelligent questions all in the name of initial gragra.

The truth is that many heartbreaks are avoidable if we do the right thing.

BTW im still expecting your contact details...(Still up to you but just a reminder) *im learning to understand our black sisters here*

KreativGenius:
Bro without the drama,we may come off been suspected. What do we do?

I used to be dramatic, but that was 10 years ago. Thesedays, i just feel it's time to cut the crap, there's these fatigue that comes with age when it comes to drama.It feels like smooth wine swirling in a clean glass cup. You just want to control time and take things a step at a time !


Lessons from my past failures hints i may need to learn some drama otherwise OYO !


With age comes smoothness, there's a refining that comes with ageing. I've lost count of married woman that look at me in my environs and just say, you like things so easy. Just like how Zidane back in his prime made things easy, yet classy. The classiness as we age is simplicity. Damn, i hate drama and complexities

Smart ladies dont do drama because hey know the mindset of the good guys which is why you see bad ladies with good guys.

KreativGenius:
You're not alone. I'm going through the same sh*t you're going through. I'm not letting it bother me anymore. I just hate drama, all those entangled drama and mind games, when we reach this age, it feels stupvd !

That is the more reason why i avoid any lady below certain age cos those ones are drama queens and those within the preferable age limit that gives too much drama i just excuse myself.

Your drama will not prevent you from possibly saying yes to the wrong guy but will most likely drive away responsible ones from you so why the freaking drama. Real responsible guys dont do drama,but the bad boys understand the game which is why they keep falling for the bad boys over and over again and they will be shouting "ALL GUYS ARE THE SAME"

I hardly have time for myself let alone a drama queen.

shaybebaby:
I'd say smart. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice..


Although there is a fine intelligent brother on here that I have sussed out and know they'd be perfect for each other but alas! That useless one she followed has ruined things that she doesn't want o know.

LOL!i think you should get one for yourself. The truth is that i believe im too real and clean to face drama but the playboys and scammers have all the patience and schemes to flow. I am trying though but i just cant understand how being friendly is an issue.

People believe i have dated many nairaland babes but it will blow your mind that i have never wooed even a female nairalander except have them as offline friends.

At my age i repeat,no time for drama..if i see a lady this moment and i relate with her,i will know if she is the type i can marry and as long as she is ready, we hit the ground running. I dont know how to make you understand my point but im just too real for drama.

shaybebaby:
Like I said, the fault lies with you menfolk. I have a friend (black gal) who had a thing for nigerian guys... Until she dated one.

Now she wants nothing more to do with my fellow country men. I could only laugh.

If you are new here, watch the conduct of your peers. There lies your answer to why them girls are unfriendly.

She dated just one and she concluded.


How unrealistic.

shaybebaby:
The Toks guy be like Teflon though. Trying to reason with him is like banging your head against a brickwall.

Expecially when you try to compare the western life with naija life...

In Nigeria,if a lady truly wants a peaceful marriage then let her follow those points .

KreativGenius:
Been reading your comments. It's drama with many of the black ladies. Been friends with over 20 white ladies, they're so straight forward and pretty easy to relate with, dating or friendships. Perhaps black ladies like drama, and for some of us that aren't dramatic, we may come off as plain, petty and too lax. So, bro, do your thang, find one that suits you, and avoid ladies with drama !

I now avoid them like kilode.

As if they are immune to heartbreak regardless of their drama.

YelloweWest:
My dear I've been married a long time. I've been through ups and downs with my husband. The only thing that kept us going is the commitment of TWO PEOPLE who resolved that no matter what we will remain together.
TWO PEOPLE not just one.
If the intention of the op was to make married people stay married he would address both parties...

That's not his intention! He's a misogynist. Every post of his puts women down in one way or another. If this his idea of been married is true I'd advise all lady including my daughters to remain single, theres a certain quality of life that should not be lowered for any reason. Cos its just misrable his depiction.
But I know better! Thank God! I have a great marriage. It's a beautiful amazing thing. My husband will come before my kids any day. That's how confident I am in marriage.

So my dear in essence what I'm saying is toks has I'll motive towards women.
They guy needs help. I'm very sure he has some underling issues with a female figure in his life growing up that seriously needs to be addressed.

Lastly let me say this. I thank God for education!
Watch as most women and even men who aspire to be good husband's disagree with toks.
WE KNOW BETTER NOW.

I would advice you read the article again without allowing your emotions run wild.

Ladies have a way of being emotional about things. All i wrote up there is IF he cheats.

shaybebaby:
Well goodluck with your white brits. We'll see how far the nigerian mentality gets you. Don't forget to invite me to the wedding, I do love party rice.

Im not even talking about getting married but at least a lady should be friendly..it has nothing to do with naija mentality but more so with that of the blacks in a country where the natives are even friendlier than immigrants.

I am not a fan of my woman must cook,must take care of the house,must tend to the baby and so on but as a very friendly person i have -10 tolerance for unfriendliness.

There is great prospect in having friends and as i wrote, except these blacks(not all though) are really shielding themselves against being vulnerable to men then i see no reason why they are so unfriendly.

I dont mind any color but most guys my age dont have time for drama and infact i run far far away from it.

shaybebaby:
You are entitled to your desire-yes. But no to bug anyone with it if they deem it unwanted.

Can't believe I have to start teaching you how to approach chicks. In this society at any rate. You certainly shouldn't start with "I want to woo you", geez!

Again, wonder why we are at the bottom of indices of societies where people want to live? It may be the reality in Nigeria but like everything else in that country, a broken one.

In all fairness, i dont even want to learn how too woo black britons,let me stick with the white ones.

I am a vey friendly and sociable person but when it comes to drama which many black ladies in U.K are known for,biko i no get the strength. Many guys say this but i thought they were just making things up..

Apparently i cant start telling a lady i want to woo her but amazingly these friendly white chics have no formula,very simple,friendly direct and simple minded.

Yes i am single and wont mind getting married for real but im not just down with drama.

shaybebaby:
And how well is it working for us?

Comparatively speaking,it only brings sanity to the system but also gives room for divorce to be on he rise thereby breeding lots of angry single mothers..lol!

shaybebaby:
I don't know, if it is unwelcome then it is harassment.

As to your write-up, it's not the reality I observe. Hence why I said you need to move.

Such reality rarely occurs in U.K..this is Nairaland and not Poundland or Dollarland hence the need to juxtapose what you read here predominantly with the Nigerian society.

You have no power over my desire to woo you whether you welcome it or not..its my right to express my mind and its your right to say yes or NO.

Just as i asked for your mobile..its my right to ask and the decision is for you to make.

shaybebaby:
You sweetheart.

You will raise good sons who will be great fathers and husbands.

Now tell me, what do you want for lunch? My treat.

Chai! won ti get e

shaybebaby:
How about simply setting the rules which both parties can then agree to adhere to?

I have tons of threads on my nairaland wall that has made front page in the past and that have been addressed. And for the records you must understand that most of my write-ups pertain to the Nigerian society so if you are looking at it from the western angle then you are so wrong.

U.K,U.S and canada as well as other countries have zero tolerance to philandering but right here in Nigeria,guys do stuffs and get away with it.

Icon79:
Trust me, no matter how pleasing she was to you in the beginning, after 2-3 yrs you'll start yearning for something new and different.

Been there done that. It's takes a special grace of God to stay faithful to one woman, you can trust me on that one.



O pari

Different folks though..for me,i have the spirit of GOD dwelling in me and i practically force myself to commit fornication because if you truly have teh spirit of GOD you will struggle to sin.FACT!

so the best way i can help my ministry is to get that lady that is sexually pleasing to me and im good.Trust me on this..there are better things in life for me than chasing skirts about. I have a mission to bring millions to the kingdom of GOD and depopulate hell and that is what i dream about now and not living a crazy destructive randy life style.

As i always reiterate,what i write are aimed at restoring sanity to marital unions by focusing on the female folks in such a way that will best prepare them emotionally,psychologically and spiritually against the crazy happenings of the world we live in.