₦airaland Forum

KreativGenius:
Bros, i've proposed within four months, the downside is just that the other party may feel you're pressuring them for a negative reason and may feel afraid, so the best thing to do is, once you spot the lady no tell am, let her be the one to throw the offer, hesitate, refuse to talk about it like three times, before she finally agrees. See, a man of wisdom can know his wife within a day or weeks. Joseph,Issac all met who they married on such short notice, our generation is filled with too much insecurities that's why people are not getting married

You are so right....the problem is that most ladies are their own problems because they always try to rationalize too much.

This thing no get formula,no safe proof method but it's just risk all the way so why waste your time courting a man for years habba. .

LordKO:
Toks2008, it's unfortunate that you didn't learn anything meaningful from your said failed marriage. Believe you me, you didn't achieve self-realization before contracting the said marriage, and up to now you're yet to achieve it too - citing your opinions. You're just conceited (no insult intended towards you).

Actually, neither old age nor experience confers wisdom, only insight does. A clear example is PMB, he came to power as a former president and the last time I checked; with his experience and old age he's yet to show any sign of wisdom in him in the area of governance. . . I don't wish you the same in your next marriage.

Meanwhile, kindly eschew the myopic thought that you're the only advanced person on nairaland romance section. There are a whole lot of advanced and successful people - from different life endeavors - of both genders that are equally members and contributors.

No one person has monopoly of wisdom.

And you just wasted your time writing this without making any sense..how pathetic..Please communicate.

I assume you are a guy yet you just trolled and that is the problem with many people who just make comments without making sense. No one knows it at but if you dont know what to write just read and leave ok.

Titilayooni:
a month of unmerited blessings and favour for us all....thanks Toks

UWC omoge

[[s]quote author=Proudgorgeousga post=62104647]


[s] I don't need all these your stories.
so your rapists apologists, misogynistic male fans of nairaland don't deserve advice to be better but women need to be brainwashed to put up with bullshìt abi?

The major problem I had with that your stupìd thread on divorce is that you were trying to make it an authority that a woman has to stay with a hiv prone cheating Bastard just because your misogynistic interpretation of your version of "God"said so.
No regards for the woman's feelings or do you think they are woods with no feelings?

So if the woman is hurting emotionally she does not deserve peace of mind abi.

if she enjoys sleeping with boyfriend after the divorce so fùcking what?

please don't even think I believe in the butterfly in the stomach romantic love.
romantic love is fleeting and superficial.


The kind of love i believe in is the one borne out of deep friendship of people with similar philosophy and beliefs where everything is mutual give and take including love and care.

A man that loves and cares for his wife's feelings wouldn't hurt her. so a man who cheats on his wife (assuming the wife plays her part right) cares for himself and is selfish there is nothing loving or caring about that. so miss me with that bullshìt.

anyway you are older and set in your archaic misogynist views it is well.

end of discussion.[/quote]

---

[/s]

I have done you great honour responding to you but you just crossed the line of intelligent discussant to a low life pepper seller and such does not deserve my response any longer...Go learn some decorum ..whatever rocks your boat.Bye.

KreativGenius:
I realized this too : I always tell people that courtship is not required for a strong marriage but they never agree.


" Choice " is the most important factor, if this is mutual other things can queue up, tolerance, companionship, but many times we complicate issues with too many rules and it strains the rule out of the relationship. I learnt this from my last experience. Once i meet a lady even if it's the first time, there's this thing that ticks and say she's a good catch, head up to her, and propose straight up. Courtship can come during the engagement process or after the marriage ( Zig Ziglar )

Many ladies have been sampled and dumped in the name of courtship.

You meet a guy and you start screwing each other in the name of courtship and after he has gotten his fill he will give you one funny story then you move to the next guy and the cycle repeats itself.

Many courtship be temporary marriage cos you do what married people do and since no commitment yet,it's very easy to opt out.

KreativGenius:
Too much fear of not making the right decision leads people into problem. Lack of due consideration also is another. Level-headedness is important. There's a risk associate with choices, and people should embrace this notion

I always tell people that courtship is not required for a strong marriage but they never agree.

I know what I want in a lady,once I see it,I go for her and let tolerance set in.

Due diligence is the best and that is the secret of marital longevity of our parents

KreativGenius:
Romantic. You poured plenty of emotions into this piece. God Bless You oP

I like this part :


You can never be too careful in choosing the right man and if you like wait a thousand years trying to be careful,it's never a sure proof that you will end up with the right guy.

Ladies must understand that marriage is a risk. There is no good or bad choice of man but what we have is "YOUR CHOICE" and what you make out of it so you must learn how to deal with it.

That is just it bro. ..

Considering the rising cases of divorce I believe this will be insightful..
Lalasticlala

Proudgorgeousga:
you that write trash you ain't married either.

pls show me my comments on romance that I wrote based on fantasy.

you claim that what you write ain't your beliefs, yet you claim a woman who is not okay with an adulterous husband has no right to opt out. you go to the extent of twisting your bible to suit your male chauvinist views yet it is not your beliefs.

Here we go again..if I were you I will calm down your raging hormones and learn before you foolishly make the same mistakes many ladies make.

For your info I have been in and out of "marriage" and I have friends both male and female that have shared their experience.

I'm too old for naira land banters so I feel at 42 the best way to give back to nairaland which I joined 10years ago is to dish out some home made truths so that the younger ones can learn but instead all I get are rantings and wishful comment from toddlers who don't even understand jack about romance and they just rant endlessly..

I'm more than qualified to give marital or relationship advice cos I have passed through that road before.

You say you will leave an adulterous husband but go out and see what becomes of most of these ladies who left their adulterous husband...they end up lonely,miserable and most likely a intimacy gadget for randy boys or as mistresses of another married man...
so who is fooling who?

Does common sense not tell you that the mistress knew your husband was married and all she wanted was for you to leave? why leave a man who loves you and cares for you because he cheats on you? what is the freaking guaranty the next man won't do worse?

All I write are points to make you ladies prepare for any crazy thing that may come up in your marriage but instead to learn you rant and rant and rant.

There was a lady here on nauraland that virtually cursed my generation when she read a thread of mine about the reality of romance just for her to contact me offline a year latter to apologize and saying she now knows better.

I'm not on nairaland to woo ladies which is why i have maintained proper decorum since i registered so I'm not here to impress any lady ..

I'm a crazily faithful guy but does that mean I should start fooling myself preaching to guys to be faithful?,and the facr that i hate polygamy does not change the reality on ground? so why should I start forming preacher online when the fact remains that the world has gone crazy.

If I were you I will print out all my threads on romance and read them again and again so that you can be more prepared for the crazy world of men out there.

I will stop here.

Proudgorgeousga:
fùck outta here with that bullshìt. I didn't join this forum today and I know you and your misogynistic beliefs checkout this one below that you spent time defending why defend it if it wasn't your belief?

How old are you? Are you married?

Why I asked is because I realize you write lots of comments about romance based on theory but you need to have the experience first.

So I will henceforth stop responding to you cos you are only writing from fantasies.

octopusfreaky:
If I get your message, you said"A woman that had countless relationships with guys in the past does not deserve a faithful guy". I am saying that if she is truly repentant and willing to change her ways she can always get a good man. Infact God will give her one. In the bible, Rahab was an harlot but Jesus was still among her descendants.
So u mean that a man that slept over ,200 ladies can get away with it? How disgusting!!! But a woman with twenty exes is a bitch maybe u afraid of her organ getting slacked. The same bitch can get it slacked by having Bleep with only one guy over a million times and countless abortions.
Toks you need to stop this one-sided thing. I appreciate dignity in both men and women. Promote and preach sexual purity in both sexes and stop judging people's ugly past.

Nah wah o..You sure sey you read that piece from start to finish? cos your understanding of the whole thing just make me weak. .

Onyiido:
But a man who has slept with chidimma, Jane, Agnes, amina, Shirley, Kelly, kemi etc should be given loud ovation for all the ladies he has slept with. He shouldn't have a past abi. Pls if u don't know what to post, take a chill pill. U'll be making it look like all ladies are bad or evil. Quote me and get a rich snub from me.

Meshonu! so you are the type that says "if a man cheats on me I will cheat on him too" sister biko wake up to reality...and understand that we live in a cruel world of men..

2funkyy:
Its very easy to judge women when you are a guy and not look into what guys do, some guys will even tell you they prefer sexually experienced women, its not as if some women dont want to keep themselves, some guys make it difficult for them to do so,for example a girl keeping herself for marriage can be in a relationship and the guy will say ,since we are getting married lets have sex,they have sex and he dumps her like a waste bin and dats how her sexual conquest starts, or do you even want to talk about the amount of women getting raped.Being faithful to your partner is a personal discipline,and some people are lucky to have such partners, but karma doesnt work the way you stated it, when it comes to relationships there is no calculation.ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. MY OPINION

Rape apart,will your boyfriend kill you if you say no to premarital sex? what's all these flimsy points you are raising.

octopusfreaky:
@Toks2008. Life is all about second chances, God in His infinite mercies is indeed merciful , He winks at our ignorance and forgets about it totally. You cannot judge someone by his or her past. Are you God How will you say an unfaithful woman deserves an unfaithful man. An unfaithful woman who decides to turn a new leaf deserves a wonderful man. Yes she deserves it a million times.
In the bible the adulterous woman was only asked to sin no more and desist from such acts. Jesus did not condemn her.
If you check out campuses now, sexual immorality is the order of the day and most of these teenagers are ignorant and lost and so the devil uses it as an advantage.
Many girls go into a relationship for many funny reasons( love( due to negligence of their parents), peer pressure, material things, food,inferiority complex and lastly ignorance.
At the end the guys who are not self-disciplined would want to take advantage of them and demonstrate their sexual prowess.
Stop the bashing, men and women should learn to be self-contained.
Happy weekend dearie.

Amazingly all you wrote is totally different from my thread.

That a woman has slept with 2 or 3 guys before marriage is considerably ok but what explanation can you give for a lady that has slept with far more?

See let's say it as it is..except in cases of rape,no man puts a gun on the head of any lady to open her legs...you can't just start sleeping around just to latter claim ignorance..let's be real here.

KreativGenius:
Are you trying to explain the padlock and key principle ?

Well just stating my opinion.

Just imagine a party with one man and two women and a woman with two men..that's all.

levisco16:
thats so funny, someday i will start a relationship.
your post has really helped me alot, because i have been telling a guy things like this in your post before you posted this.

i will show him this post first thing on monday when i see him at my place of work where i teach

Good

yeyerolling:
but a man can fuk about abi

Ladies have used this line to defend their sexual recklessness and i am so done trying to make them reason otherwise so to your question..NO a man is not expected to fck about as you put it due to many other factors but compared to the woman, A MAN CAN SLEEP WITH AS MANY LADIES AS POSSIBLE AND WILL NEVER BE SEEN AS INSANE WHILE A LADY CAN NOT DO SAME WITHOUT BE LABELED A LovePeddler.

Indeed it is a cruel world of men we live in and any lady who still argues with this fact is myopic,foolish and unrealistic..My opinion.

yeyerolling:
Una no dey tire for women bashing

No bashing here..just stating the need for ladies to maintain proper decorum cos no man wants a dustbin for a wife.

levisco16:
i get what you are saying toks2008 , you are right.

its simply means to me that love should not be the number priority that establishes and makes true relationship last forever, why ?
because love is always present. its the partners activity or how will put it, that strengthens the ground for LOVE and not LUST

You got it but its so amazing that most ladies who are the victim of that emotional thing called love are still missing it. Now i know that ladies are their own biggest problems.

EmmaFantastic:
Great! It's so good to see such a fantastic write up as this here.
But you didn't seem to remember to add ladies that sleep with married men-and very many of them do!
Now, not only do I agree with what you wrote here, for a long time, I've equally had this mindset and shared this assertion of yours-in fact, mine is worse! How? Here: I even have the opinion that guys should not even marry such girls at all-we should run from them!!
Before I explain briefly, let me say this: Let me be sincere and fair to say I'm aware that there's provision for genuine repentance and change of life-when you see an ex commercial sex worker give her life to Christ and even start to preach the gospel, totally changed. Same way I also know many people that were once evil or rough or ungodly or notorious or diabolic, etc, and one day they repented and changed. I have many such people in my family-my late father was one of such-he even became a pastor and went to be converting his former fellow occult guys and cultists. Such cases are different and very good.
That said, there are reasons why I said guys should not even marry those ladies. You see, I noticed that in recent times, marrying such people turns out to be a disaster and is like a curse. They are very problematic in marriage-they tend to always be suspicious, have guilty conscience, and no matter how godly the husband is, the lady believes he must certainly be doing "something" somewhere-based on karma things. And really, in any case, that karma stuff does actually happen . Here:
*Guy travels on official duty, his wife suspects that a "runs babe" must have gone with him-because that's how she used to go with men too!
*He comes home late, madam concludes that he went to have a quickbang in a hotel somewhere in town, after closing from work-because that's how men also used to come and have a quickbang with her after closing from work.
*His car is seen somewhere in town and she's like "he must have gone there to razzle a chic".
*She calls him on phone and he says he's in a meeting and she suspects it's a lie, he's in a guest house with a chic. In fact, the list is endless! You won't believe that I'm surrounded by so many of such cases. Many people I know as well as some of our family friends' children that married s. l. u. t.s, the marriages have either hit the rock or have endless problems.
To conclude, I will balance it by saying that, that's how there are also categories of guys that you warn girls about getting married to-guys that have player tendecies from the onset, are rough, alcohol addicts, etc. If any lady goes ahead to marry them, very soon, they start to have all manner of marital issues.

Insightful

Lalasticlala what can you say to this?

Ghana ladies are so hot expecially the ones from greater Accra and Volta region...

Divay22:
But i don't know the road na
I don't even think you're happy i want to see you...let's leave it

You have no idea how happy I will be to host you but I'm not in naija at the moment...

Divay22:

Father Toks. How the Christmas wan be na, na your house i wan play come o

Find your way to Lewisham in London then I will host you for days.

lefulefu:
u have bad mouth i swear

Lol! Abi nah lie?

At my age I look younger than the guy even with 18 freaking years difference...very strange.

Divay22:
Even some of our greedy ladies here will drool over him, not necessarily because he's handsome (which he's not) but for the money..

Lobatan!

Divay22:
Not only you..

I'm wondering what they're dieing after

I also wonder but you know that whites in U.K will drool over him while our ladies back home will just ignore...

If they are crushing on this guy who is 24 but looks older than me then I still get better hope considering the fact that I could father him if I got a lady pregnant at 18.

Proudgorgeousga:
I have always known romantic love is an illusion. so talk another thing.

Tell me how a male chauvinist like you can form a partnership with a woman that's what I want to know.

If I date you,you will thank GOD everyday for having a man like me.

I write realistic stuffs and not my personal beliefs or life style.

Proudgorgeousga:
trash

So unbelievable that many ladies did not get the message at all.

A partner like relationship is tantamount to a very strong romance. ..dimple logic but you people always read from the bottom. ...


Read again and slowly this time around..
you all shout love love and latter will say all men are the same,we are heartless wicked.....so who is fooling who?

Just take your lover like a partner and enjoy purposeful union where your emotions come secondary. ..if this does not make sense to you then sorry I can't help further.

Proudgorgeousga:
you can't cultivate healthy relationships with misogynists and chauvinists na. toks2008 is a lost case.

lmao! this piece will never make sense to dreamers and teenagers.

Toke makinwa and her likes will tell you more. ..

As if she can marry a jobless man and she is here trying to contradict facts...

Continue fooling yourself...my man should be this and that yet you are not reasonable to catch the message in that write up...continue to blow Grammer

Your type plenty for outside dey find real love...continue
...

Naija girls and hypocrisy be like...

Ayodootcom:
mind you!partner can always leave you for another better partner and still come back to you if the other fail!! so think twice!

And lovers remain forever abi.

LordKO:
LOL. So you don't know that there's something called "insight" which is superior to experience. . . I don't need to allow a moving train to kill me first, before I'll have an experience to know that it's foolishness to stand before it. This nullifies your talk about the need for me to have experience in marriage first.

More so, I'm not an advocate of unconditional love, because as much as it's notionally possible yet it's literally impossible to achieve - it's meaningless. When I hear people like you mention unconditional love, I know that literally you're referring to superficial love/love based solely on physical attraction without due considerations to character which is the main thing that sustains healthy relationship. Unconditional love never end well for the practioner.

Talk about selfless love then I'll take you serious, because here you'll have love that is based upon immaterial things (good attributes), which is a definition of real love. Open your eyes - achieve self-realization and embrace diplomatic ethical leanings and look for a lady of the same ethical leanings - and you'll find it.

I know and understand what I'm saying because I've never suffered heartbreak from any woman before even though I've been in the game of relationship for too long. I only stay in a healthy relationship.

Clap for yourself. ..when you are faced with reality, come back to comment.