₦airaland Forum

alexialin:
Smiles thanks
No it's alright

Am ready to get married and stay married. I can't deal with divorce at all.
My kind of man Must be Easy going, No drama, Understanding , Sincere, Must have a Conscience, Must have goals, Be Hardworking, Monogamous, Loyal, Be Family oriented, Be a Team player, Romantic and Wise.
Cause am everything I placed up there. And I can't settle for less.

Good one....

Boleyndynasty2:
don't be deceived by that pix, its not me...

Hmmm OK but what age bracket are u?

Safiaa:
Yeah i guess thats the issue. That's kinda sad though.

As I wrote..there is nothing sad about it..shits happen in life and in my case I guess I was with a lady who does not know what she wants so I had to do the needful...

Boleyndynasty2:
He's good at offering relationship advice to others but doesn't work for him.

On the contrary it works for me but my story is a very funny one.

All I can say is that no one plans to be single at 40 let alone +2 but then that is fate at work....the irony of it is that I'm not searching...I know I will surely get one in due time.

alexialin:
Lol

Seriously?

Well my options can only be open if am dissatisfied with my relationship, don't u think?

I know but that's just how the cookie crumbles.

Boleyndynasty2:
lol you're uncle joor, why shouldn't you be feeling old, you're 42 remember? I don dare you finish

But what age bracket are you really? just curious considering your lovely thick frame.

alexialin:
smiles thanks.

Am single but am not searching at this moment
Fortunately have seen and met a like minded guy like me
Our desires, values, wants are incredibly alike and he's very intelligent.
So my search has ended.

On the contrary..your search ends the day you get married but until then...sorry your options are still wide open.

Boleyndynasty2:
Uncle Toks2008 i dare you ooh, act lemme see.

Please call me Mr...that uncle makes me feel old.

Hmmmm you dey dare me? I bad gahn o..

Safiaa:
Are you married? How old are you?

Well I'm very single and tho I look 30something but I will be 42 by June. ...

Here is my current look.

Boleyndynasty2:
Ayam your witness jawee... They changed plans .




just admire

Lol so you mean I can't go beyond that! Abeg don't dare me o...

busybeei5:
I'm scared

I for like see your scared face.

dingbang:
Toks2008 u writing from experience huh?

Something like that

Boleyndynasty2:
Egbon you're asking too many questions joor, you want to marry her? You keep saying this thread isn't for hookups yet you're going down that lane

Egbami..kilagbe kileju o sister?

Yes it's not for hookup but making friends is sacrosanct as I clearly pointed out and friends can discuss the darkest darndest things...

Well I dey take one eye admire your dp tho.

lefulefu:
ppl get married when they are ready and there are things that could delay a man like career aquisition or school.pls stop assuming that a man is single for now is single cos he is busy jumping from one woman to another.or a lady as well.what of if she"s doing a career oriented programe in school like medicine that will take her time to finish.and lets be honest with ourselves.how many ladies in nigeria actually get married b4 they turn 25 except the ones that dont go to school and they end up being housewives.stop looking at life in a narrow one sided way.if the guy come marry very early and cant feed his kids na u go feed im children for am?

You are sounding too defensive dude...this is a simple innocuous platform for discussions...as I wrote.. no definite rules..

Fate sometimes have different plans for us...you may aquire all the wealth in life...get married and lose all and you may get married in a room apartment and with hardworking and fate become so rich so you see my point?

There are fundamental needs that must be met before you marry I very much agree but sometimes we tend to prepare forever forgetting that life is progressive and no man's has the power over fate...we can only work for the best and prepare for the worst.

alexialin:
Smiles thanks.
I would say I was picky and still am.. Due to my past experiences.
And talk about my past experiences, I strongly feel it's destiny I didn't get married way back.. Cause if I were married way back? I wouldn't have achieved some level of career success and comfort . I have now.. Due to demands of husband. Children, in-laws, I will never be able to kick start a biz. Cause my strength to succeed comes from Inner peace. If my inner peace is gone or shaken or distablised? My enemy will be useless to even achieve anything.
So inner stability and inner peace is paramount for me.
But I don't regret not getting married earlier.
Cause I wasn't ready for the whole package, called Marriage. I see saw it as Stressful with loads of drama lol. Back then

I talk with married women who have kids and are close to me. Most find it difficult to juggle the home front and their carreer /buisness together . At the end, for the weak ones? Their career or buisnesses simply dies off, and they stay rooted in one spot looking for a way out or stay resigned in the marriage and with no other purpose of becoming better or adding something worthwhile apart from kids in the union.

You sound so intelligent.

So if I may ask,do you think you are ready now?

If yes what is your definition of your type of man?

Sorry I'm asking too many questions.

soberdrunk:
Where?

They are everywhere but we usually have eyes for the slay queens.

xqzytchyca:
I clocked 25 last month; and this post is nothing but the truth!

You are welcome dierie....

So tell me...what ls the maximum age gap you can cope with...talking about the man's age?

alexialin:
30s.

Wow! you look so lovely...I guess you are too picky cos I see no reason why a damsel like you will still be single.

gbegemaster:
Is that a strange thing? I know a 40 year old virgin lady.

40 year old virgin lady!

Is she still single? if yes please I would love if she can marry my friend...in fact he is my bestie and he is still single and a virgin at 42.

soberdrunk:
The truth is in this era of 'slay queens' and 'instagram celebs', it is very hard to find a 'single', 'beautiful', 'intelligent', 'mature' lady that is worth settling down with, 'almost' every fine girl now has the 'runs girl' mentality and even our musicians like Yemi Alade are not helping matters, what type of song is "If you love me you go buy me ferrari, if you love me, you go pay me salary"! Gone are the days when ladies used to pick their partners based on 'prospects', now its based on 'wallet', the annoying part is that even the 'working class' ladies too have also developed this 'runs girl' mentality that my man must reward me financially, as if relationship is now 'employment'

Look away from slay queens....there are other responsible and focused ladies.

lefulefu:
Do you know that once you are a guy above 30 and you are still very single without a fiancee or you are a lady above 25 and still not engaged then there is a higher probability that you may remain that way for another couple of years?

I know you may not agree to this but the truth is that the higher you get in age from that point on the more careful you want to be and that is where the real problem sets in...."TRYING TO BE CAREFUL"

The honest truth is that at this stage,you need to free your mind and think less of making any mistake and in fact you need to rid your mind of any panic and be yourself....in other words,don't search because those who search usually make mistakes but those who just live their lives usually find that special person when and where they least expect.

So if you are a guy above 30 or a lady above 25 and single as in not engaged,let's discuss about business,romance and life in general.

Though this is not a dating or meet up thread but you are very free to make friends with anyone...

Remember that it is very difficult to come across single guys and ladies out there as these sets are usually very busy,focused and mostly indoor so let's make good use of this platform.

I know this is a faceless forum and i know some people below this age group will try to derail the thread but i will appreciate if such group will maintain a status quo and allow only single guys of 30 and above as well as single ladies above 25.

Thanks




u make marriage seem as if its a do or die affair.a man should set his priorities right and have at least a comfortable living before getting married.whats the point of rushing into marriage if u cant cater for ur family.hmm anybody wey take una so called love relationship advice on nairaland to heart go just run F9 in his relationship.in life there is no definite rule.

Just as you concluded..NO DEFINITE RULES....and an advice is subject to acceptance or rejection.

Furthermore. ..no one says marriage is a do or die but except you just want to burn with passion or start jumping from one person to another then marriage vital.

alexialin:
First time I will agree with Toks2008.
Guys from 30 above are ridiculously too careful , they play some dumvb mind games to be sure the lady coming into their life is not after their possessions, as if the lady herself no get her own possessions..smhhh.... and they end up loosing good women to younger guys or old wealthy men who are carefree and give benefit of doubt

You are right on point...btw are you 25 or above?

Nomfanelo99:
I'm 25 and this post is scaring me

Don't be scared .the truth is that mist responsible and purposeful ladies of 25 and above are usually not cut out for regberegbe life...they are either engaged,busy with their life or mostly indoors which makes it even more difficult for them to mix up with great minds so this thread is basically for interaction among fairly mature minds so be free.

FTBOY:
i'm 52, no fiancee, no wahala...life continues.

You are kidding right?

Do you know that once you are a guy above 30 and you are still very single without a fiancee or you are a lady above 25 and still not engaged then there is a higher probability that you may remain that way for another couple of years?

I know you may not agree to this but the truth is that the higher you get in age from that point on the more careful you want to be and that is where the real problem sets in...."TRYING TO BE CAREFUL"

The honest truth is that at this stage,you need to free your mind and think less of making any mistake and in fact you need to rid your mind of any panic and be yourself....in other words,don't search because those who search usually make mistakes but those who just live their lives usually find that special person when and where they least expect.

So if you are a guy above 30 or a lady above 25 and single,let's discuss about business,romance and life in general.

Though this is not a dating or meet up thread but you are very free to make friends with anyone...

Remember that it is very difficult to come across this set of single guys and ladies out there as they are usually very busy,focused and mostly indoor so let's make good use of this platform to interact.

I know this is a faceless forum and i know some people below this age group will try to derail the thread but i will appreciate if such group will maintain a status quo and allow only single guys of 30 yrs and above as well as single ladies of 25yrs and above.

*Mods please note that this is not a dating or meet up thread hence should not be moved to dating and meet up zone.

Thanks

DWJOBScom:
I love the way you describe it
It's actually a no man's land right now

I will throw you into the lagoon.

DWJOBScom:
very colorful

Lagos has really been home to everyone and has made alot of people richer than their dreams

Even non-indgenes rule Lagos and still go back to rule their real or native lands again

Lagos is indeed a great place and i celebrate you AT 50

I'm proud to be a lagosian. .

Itesiwaju Eko lo je wa lo gun

*If I hear Lagos is no man's land

chibuzorAbia:
I am sure you know deep down inside that the "Oga" in the sky doesn't exist!

More stubborn people than you said worse but believed at the point of death...better don't die before knowing the truth...check my signature.

martineverest:
i thought he had one surgery like ten years ago

Habba! Biko make it a culture to always read before making comments.

Daniyemi:
Hi everyone!
So the other day I posted the dilemma I was in and thankfully some of you gave me matured advice. Here is the link to the thread : https://www.nairaland.com/3697979/love-two-girls-wants-one.

I was In love with two ladies and wanted to pick one. I eventually settled with one.


The problem is the lady I picked I took her home to show my mum and she was super shocked. (She is unaware that I and my ex had parted ways.) She rebuked me strongly and warned me not to think of bringing any girl to the house to show her if not my ex. (I understand she really like my ex).
She didn't even give any reason for rejecting the girl I brought she just didn't want to even hear us out.

I had to allow the girl go in peace. Thankfully we had not gone far in the relationship. Not like I don't love her. But I think I love my ex more. Poor me right? (Currently single).

The big problem here is my ex doesn't even talk to me, she doesn't pick my calls. If only she would come back I'd ensure that the mistakes I did that led to the breakup in the first place won't arise again (we dated for three years). She went through a lot with me when I was still a student and broke. I am comfortable and I wanna reward her.

My question now is was I right to let the girl go on account that my ex has the love of my mum? (I love her too still) The girl I introduced to my mum was always complaining of my attitude to the relationship anyway. (She was always complaining of how I don't ever stop talking about my ex).

Has anyone broken up with his/her ex and reconciled a second time with the relationship strong like it was before? If peradventure she has a boyfriend what are my chances of succeeding considering the fact that we dated for long.(more than 3 and a half years.

Should I try harder in convincing my mum to accept the girl?

Love is really complicated. I feel like just being alone forever.


Insults are welcomed as usual.

You aren't mature yet for any romantic affair until you stop being a mummy's boy.

Safiaa:
I know most men will be triggered by the title of this thread, without reading what i have to say. I really couldn't care less lol. This thread is directed to the ladies !!!


Now ladies, i'm not encouraging you to be lazy gold diggers with no ambition. I'm not encouraging you to use a man entirely for his money. Get your education, work hard and make something of yourself. Strive to be successful. HOWEVER....

Don't be lured into what we call 'ride or die'. A lot of men are deluded by their unrealistic dreams and goals, and believe they can sell you that dream. They'll tell you that they want to do this and that, but they never work towards achieving their goals. I call them empty vessels. Its really sad, because I've seen so many women waste their youth on men who sold them a dream, and end up suffering for the rest of their lives. There's a difference between a broke man with a vision, and a broke man with a fantasy. KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO. This is not Bonnie and Clyde, this is the real world, and if you can clearly see that this man is destined to be broke, RUNN!

As a woman, you need to use your YOUTH and BEAUTY to attract the best man who is financially stable as possible. This is not gold digging this is being SMART. Think about your children, think about your future. You don't want to be in your 30's wishing that you spent your younger years with another man. Money is very IMPORTANT in a relationship, and you need to be with someone who will compliment your finances.

Stop making excuses for men, who clearly don't have plans. Stop trying to be the ride or die chick, because you will die in poverty. Yes, we know that women can be the breadwinners of the house, But i can assure you that most women want to be taken care of. If you want to struggle with him now, open your eyes and be sure that you will NOT struggle with him FOREVER.

LADIES BE SMART, YOU'RE ONLY YOUNG ONCE! USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.

You see why a lady should make her own money...

https://www.nairaland.com/3743337/lady-buys-herself-range-rover

Safiaa:
I know most men will be triggered by the title of this thread, without reading what i have to say. I really couldn't care less lol. This thread is directed to the ladies !!!


Now ladies, i'm not encouraging you to be lazy gold diggers with no ambition. I'm not encouraging you to use a man entirely for his money. Get your education, work hard and make something of yourself. Strive to be successful. HOWEVER....

Don't be lured into what we call 'ride or die'. A lot of men are deluded by their unrealistic dreams and goals, and believe they can sell you that dream. They'll tell you that they want to do this and that, but they never work towards achieving their goals. I call them empty vessels. Its really sad, because I've seen so many women waste their youth on men who sold them a dream, and end up suffering for the rest of their lives. There's a difference between a broke man with a vision, and a broke man with a fantasy. KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO. This is not Bonnie and Clyde, this is the real world, and if you can clearly see that this man is destined to be broke, RUNN!

As a woman, you need to use your YOUTH and BEAUTY to attract the best man who is financially stable as possible. This is not gold digging this is being SMART. Think about your children, think about your future. You don't want to be in your 30's wishing that you spent your younger years with another man. Money is very IMPORTANT in a relationship, and you need to be with someone who will compliment your finances.

Stop making excuses for men, who clearly don't have plans. Stop trying to be the ride or die chick, because you will die in poverty. Yes, we know that women can be the breadwinners of the house, But i can assure you that most women want to be taken care of. If you want to struggle with him now, open your eyes and be sure that you will NOT struggle with him FOREVER.

LADIES BE SMART, YOU'RE ONLY YOUNG ONCE! USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.

Your opinion tho and I see a little sense in it but nevertheless you must understand that the best way any lady can live her life is to work hard as though she is on her own.

We have very visionary guys who still remain broke till death,we also have unlucky dudes whose wealth suddenly varnishes and remain broke till they grow old.

My advice to any lady is to try all her best to be very financially independent and be with a guy with great vision and take the risk...being broke is relative and true wealth is progressive..

You can be with a rich dude and still suffer cos his money can never be your money but you can make yours..

.my 10cents