₦airaland Forum

nma24:
You sounded like its meant for those that are about to enter. ... That doesn't stop it from hurting though. Besides what's your own story? I'd really love to know

Yes those who are aspiring can learn from it but should wait till at least 5 years of marriage before calling it trash.

As for me my life is an open book and if you go through my past comments on naira land you will have a clue of my story.

beautiful232:
all men cheat
now is even worst cause men now feel it very normal for them to cheat

I am going to learn a lot about marriage before I go into it

Cause I wanna have the best marriage even

What I wrote is just the fact and this is the secret of marital longevity.

It is easier for ladies who have no clue of what marriage is all about to castigate but this thread.

nma24:
Toks2008, I should expect my husband yo cheat, work and earn my own money and perform my marital duties... I wonder y u come across as a sexist. Anyway, we all pray for blissful Marriage

Well..only ladies married for at least 5 years can relate with this piece so I may have to look away from comments of single ladies who have no clue.

Nevertheless as I wrote..not all men cheat but expecting him to cheat on you will create a subliminal emotional readiness...that is what my point 1 is all about.

adekayo1234:
It's either op is toke makinwa deceiving us with the male sex status or he's related to her in a way

Lol! is she on the same page with my postulations?

holluwai:
I don hear

But seriously people will still buy, intact some already bought it, infact in video I saw on IG a Nigerian guy bought 6 or so. Please all these sermons won't get to some people.



Sent from my iPhone 7 plus (256gig)

Rocking my Samsung S4 jeje...rather than by iPhone 7 I will use the money to help humanity.



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I guess my thread holds true even if lalasticlala refuses to put it on fpage.

https://www.nairaland.com/3343263/6-reasons-why-prefer-online
I guess its time i set up a blog with a vlog..i have tried on nairaland.

CrazyQuinn:
What of if you're in a bad mood?

It is all about understanding but if your spouse insists you just have to allow him.

The point is how did you refuse? was it done in meekness or with non challance.

I know guys who beg their wives for sex yet still denied...some even beg just to touch their wives...

CrazyQuinn:
Apart from disagreement, whats your opinion about sex when it comes to submission...is it allowed for a woman to deny her husband sex?

As regards sex. this is the area where many marriages experience pitfalls due to rigidity, over righteousness or total ignorance. ...

The bible explicitely stated that we should not deny our significant other sex which means DENYING YOUR SPOUSE SEX IS A CLEAR SIN.

1Cor 7:3-4
The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

If there is any reason at all that sex should be denied each other then it must be on a reasonable ground like the lady having her time of the month and maybe few weeks after child birth but there should be a mutual understanding regarding this by the couple.

1Cor 7:5
Do not refuse one another, unless perhaps it is just for a time and by mutual consent...

I hope this answers your question.

Btw I believe this thread is fantastically enlightening to remain locked in romance thread abi lalasticlala Don travel...

Let me call mynd44 and hope they do the needful.

MisterGrace:
Until this week, I worked with an Environmental Consulting Firm. Things were going on smoothly and all. Nobody ever thought about it until it hit us so hard.

Hey Guys!

You know you are all good and very important to this organization? The boss started. But I am so sorry this is happening...

By this time, the perspiration on my forehead started to role down.

It was on a Monday morning and there was no sign of it coming...

As you all know, continued the boss; the company can no longer afford to pay the salaries of everybody for now. This is as the result of the ongoing economic recession in the country.

Since I can't find fault in any of you, we shall embark on some very rigorous tests and anyone who can not make it through will have to go back home, maybe when things gets back to normal, we can reconsider.

After all the talks, we were arranged into the conference room and served with question papers. In it were questions on organic chemistry, economics, physics, philosophy, politics, geography and calculus.

The pass mark was 80/100%. But in the end, despite the fact that I scored 88% I wasn't selected because, I couldn't attempt the questions on calculus.

But what can I do?
But the bitter this is that, I just got married to wifee few months ago.

All things work together for good dude...be hopeful and look inward.

It's not easy anyway but I hope your wife has something bringing hone at least 2k a day as that could sustain both of you till you bounce back.

You can also try marketing job for any good company with great product and make some commissions as you look for a new job of biz.

It is well.

cooldudeng:
Another Ponzi scheme

What the adocates have failed to explain is how the system generate the 30% that it pays out.

Even the economy isn't growing 30%

On this, I will gladly pass!

As vast as i am in e-commerce i still dont understand the module operand of MMM but even if it will crash someday i guess it must have helped many people and that is fair enough.

As for central bank please let them go and die because they have failed Nigerians woefully.

mrjojo:
you sure made Lotta sense, Trust me I know her financial strength currently, cos she told me herself. And I wouldn't classify myself as a broke ass either, everbody sometimes get short of fund at a particular time or the other, and bless you, gender equality is a TOTAL FRAUD ladies use for their own selfish gains.

Of-course being broke is relative and everyone at a time gets broke and that does not mean you don't have money. A guy with N10m in his account could say he is broke if it reduces relatively but at that point when a guy sees himself as broke then he should consider the type of lady he has and how to regulate his spendings.

As regards her financial status as i wrote, many people give a make believe impression of themselves but if you believe you know she has and does not what to do then two things may be involved.

1.She is stingy but still "loves" you
2.She does not really desire you.

If you truly want someone, you will always want to be with that person and will do anything humanly possible to make that happen except fate prevents it.FACT.

mrjojo:
This a little long, if you have a phobia for long text, pls abeg, move on..‎
‎
I just don't understand the way ladies think and behave, they keep screaming equality when it favors  them only. A guy will be the one to ask you out, chase you around, call you, spend his hard earn money taking you out, get you gifts, help you out when you need help, even though when he is got little, he will still try to please you what he has. (shebi we are equal?)Why do ladies feel once they r dating a guy they are entitled to his money? It just not logical ,how come this ladies think they are doing you a favor with se.x? Isn't it mutal enjoyment? ‎

My story.
 Have been dating this lady on/off for 3years now, and have been trying my best for her. From hanging out, to calls, I call most times, sometimes if you don't call her she wouldn't call you, she complains of been broke, send her the little I can afford, send airtime , subscribe,gifts and all a normal guy do for his gf, but I have come to realise is she that wouldn't spend a dime of hers on the relationship except calls and chatting if that counts for spending, the only thing she ever got  me was a singlet pack, I didn't complain.‎
‎
 So of recent, been a little broke (no thanks to the economy) and seeing it been a while have seen my babe, I subtly suggested  me coming over to her location and knowing she is so "gallant" currently, running to over a million, her share of a property, and me feeling she will glady sponsor my coming, since have done same more than I could even remember ( outing and all), knowing my present situation, all my dear girlfriend could say is "God will provide" when she is got more than enough, it not even like am asking her to give me o, It just sponsor our seeing each other.‎

 So am asking, is it right for a guy to just be the one spending and making sacrifices  while the ladies wil just  be there on the receiving end? , isn't that selfish? How come with men, my money is ours but with ladies their  money is just thiers alone? Is this only particular to Nigeria girls or is it everywhere?
 I guess have learnt my lesson, instead of spending my hard earn money on a lady that wouldn't even offer to help when I need it, I will rather spend it on my mom,sisters and friends who  got my back. ‎
  it not just not me, ‎ applies to lot of men too.

Cc: toks2008

Thanks for copying me as regards this.

I am not going to rant about the obvious fact of some ladies being selfish cos that is no longer news.
I will also not talk about the hypocrisy surrounding gender equality because it is a total charade.


Nevertheless you must learn never ever to assume or conclude that someone else has what you don't have. You may think she has because of prejudice but she just might be as broke as you.

Until you see vivid red flags that shows that she does not really want you then don't conclude yet. I remember creating a thread about taking care of your lady with no expectation of wht to ghet back and as long as your mind leads you to give her whatever you can afford, please do yet expect her to spit on your face and walk away from your life without looking back.

The only ways you can be happy as a broke guy is to either date a financially dependent lady who does not mind your financial status, stay single or risk dating a lady who has no source of income and may likely dump your ass for a richer guy.

I hope i made sense.

CrazyQuinn:
sorry I'm asking too much questions, I just want to really understand the bible definition of submission. If you say it 100% possible then why are women finding it difficult to submit? Because something that's 100% possible suppose to be easy to do not hard to do

Please ask whatever question...no qualms.

Submitting fully does not mean becoming a zombie. Infact you can disagree with your hubby 100times in one day but it is the manner you do it that matters.

Some ladies tend to disagree in an authoritarian manner while some will allow the man to land and even give him time before she meekly makes her opinion known and an opinion it is...if the man disagrees so be it.

CrazyQuinn:
Do you think it's possible for a woman to be submissive in reality?

Lol!

YES IT IS 100% POSSIBLE.

It's like you are mixing mindlessness with submissiveness.

You can disagree in a submissive manner and I made reference to this in the first page.0

CrazyQuinn:
there's no such thing as marital bliss...the bible and your post is unrealistic. The way marriage of today is is the way it will always and forever be, it's not going to change

When I say marital bliss I'm not talking about a perfect marriage but a marriage that stands the test of time.

And I thank God you said marriage of today and yes it will always be difficult for a blissful marriage if women do not learn to submit.

When a lady says my husband does not love me it can be relative and what one lady counts as lovelessness might not be the same with another lady.

God is clear about his instructions and it's left to us to obey or face the consequence.

CrazyQuinn:
I didn't make any comment about God .....but you know not many people, especially Christians obey the 10 commandments and the instructions in the bible. You should know this!

And is this an excuse to disobey?

TIREDOFSEX:
30yias u still dey sell ice cream
Shey na deir dem carry ur destiny keep ...
What of him children sef
Dem still sucking brest


Nawa ooo...

Success means different things to different people even if he makes so little

As long as he is passionate about the biz then that is success to him.

KevMitnick:
These are the guys who make life difficult for other guys. Five the girl 1week, if she is still forming, move the hell on. Just like fishes in the ocean, there'll always be someone new. Damn. The girl is even advertising herself indicative of someone with low self esteem.

A guy begging for sex! this is serious...If I make a pass at you and you start forming levels I will gladly apologize for making the mistake and forget you exist.

And the lady in question is so immature and of a very low self esteem cos no reasonable lady will do what she did...after all it is one man that will still do her and sadly enough that guy she is probably giving her body to might just be using her to pass time..watch a pity.

Oliviaarims:
Very true. It's almost an unconscious psychological thing. A girl's pretty, got her own dough, enough of it to buy whatever she wants, good education, perhaps a fairly influential family too. She sets her stakes high, wouldn't want to settle for any man short of her level. As a matter of fact, she wants one who's several notches higher than her level. But the sad thing is that, there aren't so many of those single men out there who'll be loving, hardworking, faithful, charismatic commited and rich at the same time. That's a really fat package that's hard to come by.

Odikwa terrible my sister.

Aderola15:
Well said Toks2008, you talked about the man walking away. What if the lady doesn't let him

LOBATAN!

Oro pesi je...then let her learn to calm down nah.

Smellymouth:
I am just wondering, what actually transpired before he hit her?

I once dated an emotionally unstable lady.. Sometimes I get the urge to punch her in the face just to knock some kindness into her.

But I always realized I was spending all the time and energy on someone that I couldn’t control, rather than concentrating on how I could react that would save me all this inner torment...

Being a gentle man is good but some ladies can take advantage of that to any limit.

I told an ex that one of my greatest joy of us parting is that I will no longer have to fight the urge of touching a lady violently.

Chai! some ladies are professors in dishing out abusive words even when it is unwarranted...before you say a word they have said 20.

For any man reading this please and please don't ever beat a lady..Yes some deserve serious beating to reset their brain but just walk away from the union provided you don't do shits to ignite the other side of a naturally insolent lady.

Berbierklaus:
[b]No be You? I know You will still twist everything

The bible already gave the condition that "Husbands 'LOVE' your wives"
Toks a wife will not respect/submit/fear her husband if he didn't do the instructions of God.

You are saying a man can/should disobey God but his wife can/should not disobey God.

That is the only part that I disagree with You on this subject and I still repeat that it is the men of God and relationship counsellors from Generations to Generations that have twisted God's ideal of a marriage role play,which is why many men "intentionally" treat their wives badly and still expect her to "submit" to them.

I see that You only use the bible in a way that suits your topic and logic but I want You to remember that the bible said in matthew 18:6 that
"If anyone causes one of these little ones--those who believe in me--to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.




Wisdom is for everyone only the wise ones makes use of it.[/b]

There was no place i ever justified the right of a man to disobey God.

The bible makes it clear ...submit to your husband...

Reverence your husband....

Respect your husband....

Fear your husband....

AS YOU DO UNTO THE LORD.

These are not my words.

When a lady says my husband does not love me please sit the hubby down and ask him questions and you are likely to hear stuffs that usually boils down to lack of submission in one or two areas.

97% of divorce starts from the point where the wife starts disresping the man and when you ask the lady she will be quick to state WHY SHE CHOSE to disrespect him.

So yes there will always be a reason to disrespect our parents and the elderly but does this make it right?

If your dad insults you do you do same to him? if your mom curse you do you curse back?

the honest truth is that your husband is ranked in the same level of a lord to you just as your guardians hence the need to give the same respect you give your dad.

This is the hard truth and until a lady is ready to face this fact it's better she remains single.

nma24:
Are you married?

I was...how else will I be confident to come to the most populous online forum in Africa to start dishing out marital advice.

Some will say why advise us if you can't keep your marriage and I see that as an ignorant and lame question. Anyone who has passed through a road is in the best position to tell you about it.

Furthermore it is important to understand that if you have never been in that institution called marriage, you may never understand when you read stuffs about it....trust me, it's not a walk in the park but it's an institution you must meticulously strife to be in.

When some people blame pastors or people in divorce mess for being careless about their marriage I just shake my head at the ignorance of some people.

I am telling you for a fact that if ladies can learn to be submissive to their husbands, that man will make her his for life.

A submissive lady is an elixir to our soul...
Being submissive is different from being mindless or a zombie but in all you do and say, just be submissive.

nma24:
Same should apply to men too... Must ladies swallow bullshit all in d name of marriage?

The bible never instructed wives to swallow bull pooh in the name of marriage but respect, reverence, fear your hubby meaning you can express your anger in a submissive and respectful manner.

My sister this is the ultimate key to marital bliss yet it has become extremely difficult for many ladies and this is why divorce will forever be on the increase.

When a lady says my husband does not love me, it will amaze you that in 90% of the cases it is the lady who ignited that act and just do your findings to confirm.

nma24:
Same should apply to men too... Must ladies swallow bullshit all in d name of marriage?

Not at all my lady. .a wife has all the right under heaven to express her displeasure but she must do it with full reverence and submission.

The day a lady dim it fit to stand shoulder to shoulder with her hubby is the day she ignites the fire of marital discord.

The word of God says you MUST respect your hubby as YOU DO TO THE LORD.

There is no condition attached and that is just what it is.

Berbierklaus:
[b]Grandpa no one asked you for your life history,so please relax and take to corrections.

if You were my husband/boyfriend,I would have told You to "shutup and listen" I said "Relax" coz You are my grandpa

Now to the argument You both are having,Everyone has an opinion,trust me I have come to understand You and your writeups,(You are only been realistic while most of us are striving to be idealistic).The challenge is finding a balance because all these rules and regulations for marriages and relationships are unique to every relationship,some men don't take NO,no matter how submissive the wife is(been realistic,I'm sure You will agree with me) and some men are in awe or their wives and a very agressive NO will do the trick(I'm been realistic),so the problem I have with most of your rightups is that "they are not a standard for relationships,coz every relationship is unique" but from your tone of words,You type like that's all that should be done because it is in the "BIBLE" forgetting that even Jesus said in "MARK 2:27" The sabbath(law) was made for man not man for the sabbath(law),
meaning most of this bible injunctions can be used uniquely not universally. (I hope You know what happened in that verse and why he made that statement?).


secondly,I want to say I agree with your rightup once again,although it is a little bit flawed "to me". Any idiot can see the emphasis You made on "WIVES SUBMISSION" I think its good but I also think it would have been appropriate if You emphasized as much on the "HUSBAND's LOVE". (I think this is where most relationship experts get it wrong).

Now lets use the scripture You qouted as an example,did You realise that Ephesians 5:33 has two parts(part A and B)
Did You realise that part A was talking to the husband?
Ephesians 5:33
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself
Did You realise that the bible spoke to the husband first? That tells You that Submission is "EARNED" so its flawed for You to say "THE BIBLE SAID THAT THE WIFE MUST BE SUBMISSIVE TO HER HUSBAND NO MATTER WHAT"







because grandpa,the bible has put an unspoken condition in that verse,(You can't respect/submit to your abusive father,You "FEAR" him,likewise if You say wives should be submissive unconditionally,You are only telling her to "FEAR" him,that is not submission according to the bible)

Part B
[color=#000055]Ephesians 5:33
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord[/color]

Every man that loves his wife,automatically has earned her respect and submission,it is a known fact,and a man that doesn't love his wife(cheating on her "glaringly" abuse her,doesn't do his roles as a husband etc) will be "FEARED" not respected/submitted to).

So grandpa,all this tunranchi is what the bible is preaching(Idealistic) not what our pastors are interpreting the bible to, not what You have interpreted the bible to,which is sadly the (realistic) point of what we have in the world today because our religious leaders have knowingly or unknowingly led some men astray by repeatedly preaching and emphasizing on "SUBMISSION" while skimming through "LOVE".

The kingdom of God is a hot race,I fear for most people,as I have come to a stage in my salvation where,I read and ask the holy spirit to interpret and explain what this really means to me,instead of listening to one marriage counsel/counsellor and corrupting my heavenly journey .

I hope You will settle down and read my epistle,and may the holy spirit help You to realise the truth.[/b]

Lol!

This is exactly why many ladies will always have issues in their marriage cos they will always want to see a reason to go against that simple instruction concerning unconditional submission to the husband.

Did you read that part where I wrote that different adjectives were used in place of submission like reverence and some interpretations actually used fear....

Ephesians 5:33

But every husband must love his wife as he loves himself and let the wife'see that she fear her husband.

Why do you think God specifically juxtapose the man as your lord?

trust me, any lady who believes she has a reason to disrespect or not be 100% submissive to her hubby has already failed the litmus test of marriage and it's better she remains single.

When you choose to say no to your hubby you must say it in awe of him.

This is not about being realistic but it is the blueprint for marital tranquility. You miss it you miss out.

pweetychyka:
Boss I can't match make u wit one!
When u find one & ur heart welcomes her warmly after opening up everything to u den it's cool

Lol I was only making a comment o..not asking to be matched .

pweetychyka:
@OP, please follow ur heart if u feel she's d kind of woman after ur heart! Love the child as your own n trust me u 'll live to enjoy d fruit for good

Show me a single mum with the right curves and attitude and I will show her the way to my heart.

I don't mind a super hot one sef... most of them dey calm down.

ForeverYoung197:
I think number 4 is very common. Men and their alike are just fooling around. Only want some good sex and don't want to commit .

On the contrary I believe it is basically because of high expectation and moral decadence

ezeagu:
"Unenlightened" as regards to "hybrid reptilians" using plane crashes for human sacrifice? Mehn, Nigerians have officially lost it.

Don't tell me you are doubting that.

I knew there was no way we could have experienced series of plane crashes back to back.

OK what about the one that has a bomb planted in it? oh you think a minister of aviation will lie about that?

If you know what goes on in the dark you will marvel.

Diplomaticbeing:
You amuse me. Kindly re-read the first paragrahy of your article and see how self-conceited you appeared.

All the same, no hard feelings. Take care.

Bro I'm so unfettered with negative comments and anytime I respond to one I just do that to correct the poster.

The truth us that I have no business with nairaland asides my passion for freelance writing on romance, religion and politics.

I know what marriage looks and feels like and the best I can do is share my knowledge and experience here and it is the choice of people to contribute or ignore rather than slander or make derogatory remarks.

No hard feelings watsoever. I'm a lover not a fighter.

ammyluv2002:
Yes! It does make sense, but wives should submit fully to their husbands according to the bible principles. My husband cannot tell me to sleep with his friend & you expect me to submit fully

lol! of course it has to be in consonance with God's words.

Nevertheless there is always a submissive way of saying No.

There is no magic to a lasting union other than to obey the instructions of the creator of the institution.