₦airaland Forum

HRYansh:
doggy style reigns supreme. A steady rhythm..gotta be hard and deep..with just the right amount of & slappin'

...just being honest


Whats yours?


cc:mrcork,toks2008,CrazyQuinn

What a question?

frank317:
says a man who cannot handle his wife. This man has no right to teach anything on marriage issues

You need a good and resounding e-slap for this.

His wife divorced him and not the other way round.

What he said up there is a strong point that will save many ladies of heartache if adhered to.

ipledge10:
They be pikin self...the quality of their primary picture is shows the pix was taken in early 90s.Time for me to marry

Lol exactly what came to my mind..

When I saw 97set I was like wow! that was the year I bagged my Bachelors degree.

Well marriage is no ticket to happiness or life fulfillment..just go into it whenever you believe you are ready.

LuvU2:
Talking of the average Nigerian girl who resides in Nigeria. Sometimes i just feel irritated when they say some awkward things.

I am not an exceptional person (at least no one has ever said i am) but there are just somethings ladies ought to say like people with common sense. It wont cost anyone anything to give a thought to something before talking. Just a little thinking wont hurt.


1 Nigerian men are the best : Okay i know being loyal is a good thing and al' . I actually love people who are faithful and protective. However there is a thin line btw loyalty and common sense.

Apart from the fact that we appear more loyal than our male counterparts, i dont see how saying they are the best changes anything. It just makes you look kinda dumb to converse with since you clearly dont know when to use common superlatives.

2, Like really? Oh pls say something different for once.

3, I will make my hair very soon She has been carrying her natural God given hair for a while but she still feels a need to explain to every1 why she has not rocked an artificial one yet.

O dear, just go and wear a weave and stop throwing ur insecurity on people's faces
.
A lady can rock her natural hair and still look classic and do as many styles as she wants. Why is hers making her feel sick? eeewww.

4, You are shining, which cream are you using? 90% of the time she means which lightening cream are you using.
Dear girl, not every girl with a fair skin uses "cream"
Even if she is using one, not everyone is ready to disclose their "beauty enhancement" products to anyone. Lol

5, You have pointed nose, you are so lucky And she is so unlucky with her button nose!

6, I like my men tall, dark and handsome Can you just stop parroting that 1800s ideal male look that you know nothing about and come up with something original?

7, Wow you are a black beauty She says this when she sees a stunning girl with dark skin.
Sweetheart that girl knows she is black, she has seen herself all her life as a black girl. Why do u feel she has to be reminded of her blackness everytime you throw her a compliment. *rolls eyes*

8, Why do you act this way It is called "individualism" Everyone must not act the same or love the same things. We are not all born to follow a status quo. Its very easy to wrap around the head but she wont because she does not want to embrace the complexities of life.

lwkmd! Nice one

EpicMaurice:
This is one of the reasons i keep advising my friends against sports betting.


Mtcheeeww


....still trying to imagine what would ever make me bet

I don't gamble or bet and I will never do it because it is addictive and not because it is bad...as long as you can do it with your brain good.

Sports betting is what is it...BETTING and it is far from blind gambling of baba ijebu.

Man.U wants to play against totteham and all you do is look at their history of clashes and make your prediction.

A friend I know won 2.3million with 400naira and I guess no one will say its bad in this case.

Our problem in Nigeria is greed...we want to hit it big and fast.

If he had used 1k to bet I believe he won't face the depression.

So if this is on frontage to bring down betting then that is a bias move. Sports betting has changed lives and can destroy lives if approached with greed just like any other biz.Nuff said.

Please I want any single nairaland lady who can make these delicacies to signify..I have something to say to her.

chinchum:
I want to believe every love is conditional. I also believe to enjoy the fullness of God's love , it is also conditional. In essence, No love is unconditional. For God so loved the world , that he gave his only begotten son , that WHOSOEVER BELIEVE in him will have everlasting life. The part in the bold is the condition God gave man to enjoy the fullness of his love.

You are getting it twisted.

Going to heaven or hell has nothing to do with conditionality of Gods love towards us.

Gods love is unconditional cos he first loved us without any reason which is why the greatest assassin can come to God now and he will accept him and that is why God will keep forgiving us if we sin against him over and over again.

Going to heaven or hell is a choice we must make.

Romans 8:38-39New International Version (NIV)

38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

TheRealestGuy:
That means I've been wasting time with you cos all I've been trying to make you understand is that if you're talking about true and real love, then it is one and the same whether in the family unit or between a man and woman.

You need to be more open minded and admit being wrong at times, this is the only way to reconfigure our brains to learn new things and discard long held notions which may be very erroneous and even injurious to one's mental, emotional and physical well being.

No need trying to convince you any further, you're probably beyond help at this point.

Last Bullet: Please make sure you begin to practise and live by the true definition of love as outlined in the holy bible cos that is the only way to achieve a fulfilled love life.

Ciao bro...

OK sir, I definitely will. Thanks.

TheRealestGuy:
Please answer these two questions below.

Are you saying that agape love cannot exist in the family unit?

If you know that agape love can and does exist within the family unit, why do you not accept that the same agape love can be extended to people other than those in one's family unit (gf or wife inclusive)?

I have you the definition of real love and you say it is theoretical?

Anyway, my kind of love (even for my gf) is the agape type and not because of what I can gain or benefit from the relationship, after all no matter what it is she has to offer, there are a thousand and one girls out there who have same and even better. It's the fact that she has come to be more than just a gf, she's like family to me.

You still see love from a parochial and selfish point of view and it's your undoing.


By the way, those attributes of love as outlined in the holy bible are not theoretical but things we should endeavour to put into practise in our daily lives so as to become better humans and better "lovers" in the real sense of the word.

Don't you dare say they are not achievable or feasible or practical cos you are unwilling practise true and real love but prefer to continue to see love from a very stunted and selfish point of view.

If you don't change this mentality of yours you may find yourself forever unfulfilled in your relationships in life.

Why write up is focused on romantic love and not within family unit so I prefer to stick with that.

Even in the family unit love is mostly selfish and self centered but that is a topic for another day.

Oahray:
I like your train of thoughts... However it's still rigged with hiccups which I find odd coming from someone supposedly objective.

First you assume that love is meant to be unconditional. I wonder why you think so. Where have you seen unconditional love in the universe? Nobody loves unconditionally. Even God doesn't love unconditionally.

Then because you rightly observed that human love cannot be unconditional, you proceed to call it a selfish scam. That's also an odd conclusion, seeing that people make sacrifices for others everyday, at times even at the risk of major discomfort or even the possibility of death. Self-sacrifice is what marks love for others as true or selfless, not the presence of conditions.

What I think is, your assumption that every condition is selfish is the reason you believe love is supposed to be unconditional, and your belief in the latter is why you believe love doesn't exist between humans.

So, yes... I believe in love; even romantic love between a man and a woman. It is very much conditional but it can be selfless and enduring. Depends on alot of things.

I never said I don't believe in love.

I believe in self centered love, conditional love and that to me is fair enough.

I marry you for a reason and you do same..we keep those reasons alive we remain together and if I bleep up you either forgive me, tolerate or leave and vis-a-vis. That's how the cookie crumbles.

TheRealestGuy:
The bolded is that parochial view I mentioned earlier.

It is a very wrong thing to classify and group different kinds of love if it's the real one - agape. Agape love cannot be classified by who the relationship is with, whether father-children and brother-sister.

The "real love" which I presume is what you're talking about is agape love and it is not a facade.

Agape love can exist between a man and a woman in a romantic relationship and this is a fact.

And your one in a million theory is just an opinion cos I know you did not do any research or survey in that regard to come up with such figures.

Open up your mind and begin to see 'love' in the real, true and agape sense of it.

That kind of love you spoke about in your original post is not true or agape love.

Synonyms of that kind of "love" you've been trying so hard to debunk include - lust, infatuation, obsession, etc. It is far from the real deal.

Also please don't ever think that it is possible to love even in the real sense without any reason cos even God loves us because He created us.

Our parents love us because they brought us to the world. Love We love them right back cos they cared for us and nurtured us.

My problem with your view is saying that love between a man and a woman is for what both parties can gain or benefit, it is a very distorted view. Such "love" is not the real thing and can be classified into one of the kinds of "love" I mentioned earlier.

Funny thing is that you're right in a sense that such selfish kinds of love is just for benefits and pleasure. Where you may just be very wrong is that you didn't take out time to explain that those kinds of love are not the real deal.

Here's the definition of the real kind of love I've been talking about:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

You just explained a theoretic side of love but practically Agape love only exists from God to man and any other type of love is wash.

Let's be frank..a lady loves me cos I care..I stop caring..she stops loving and maybe starts tolerating

I love a lady cos she is pleasing to my eyes, cooks well and fears God but the day she stops cooking for me for no justifiable reasons and she starts rebelling and showing signs of Godlessness I may remain with her cos of tolerance but not love.

Tolerance is what makes many marriages stand today and not love cos no human is able to love without a reason.

TheRealestGuy:
Ok, lemme see if I can make sense to you.

Firstly, when comparing kinds of live I don't think anyone should use the love of God as comparism. We are mere humans.

That said, I need you to tell me something, do you believe that unconditional love exists or can exist in a family unit, between father and children, mother and children and so on? Cos you keep saying love is about what one can get from the relationship as if the only relationships on earth are romantic ones.

Second question - if your answer to the first is yes, dont you think the same kind of love (unconditional) found in a family unit can be extended to someone outside the unit who due to years of friendship and memories comes to become your "blood"?

The mistake you keep making is having a parochial view of the word love hence your gross misinterpretation.

Funny thing is so many people also have the same parochial view about love and it's annoying.

Lastly, you say you're a realist but how come you're seeking for perfection where it can never be found (humans)?

If I have the capacity to love my dad even till old age then why will you conclude that same kind of unconditional love cannot be extended to someone else (maybe a girl) who has come to matter in my life as much as my dad?

Hope I made sense?

Yeah you did.

The truth remains that we just might find 1 in a million instance of true love but in the real sense, love between a man and woman in a romantic affair is a facade.

So shall we say we wil not marry and raise a family? NO..we just have to look for a condition that pleases us to be with another and then try to keep that condition alive.

tsilva:
First of all,I would like to acknowledge that not all men cheat.But that is not the point of discussion.The joy of every marriage is for it to be blissful and both parties can have peace of mind.That said,if u want this to happen as a woman(for the sake of this post) is to have it in mind that all or most men will cheat so that when it does happen you won't be surprised.But if as a woman you respond by doing the same, then the end of the marriage is almost inevitable.And if that happens who loses the most if not the woman. But if u do as the O.P suggested, in no time,he would be repentant.

I will like to add that I don't encourage cheating.

Gbam!

Many guys suffer from mid life crises when they think it is their right to bed as many ladies as they want but at a latter stage in their lives they tend to focus on their wives.

The problem is that many ladies are not patient during this stage but the truth is that in 9 out of 10 cases, no man is ready to give up their wives for a side dish but it is these wives who willingly give up the man to the side dish when she files for divorce thereby giving the side dish the opportunity to take over the matrimonial home she sweated to build and ironically the lady who left the husband due to infidelity ends up committing same sin with another woman's husband in .most cases.

Ishilove:
Tenks sir. I've modified my post

Who be sir? Abeg pe Mi loruko

Ishilove:
Oya modify am oga

I love smart ladies.

Ishilove:
I've got enough love to go round

Polyandry is not allowed abeg make I act fast before its too late oya watsup me fast..

I no know say you fine like this..na to come visit you chop your food..once e sweet and you sef sweet for face nah to come dey sleep for your gate be dat

Ishilove:
Deal

Ishilove so you are cheating under my noze?
chai! I have suffered.

VolTOxic:
And if he doesn't, he'll want to.

Issorite

Ishilove:
Buhahahahahaha! HungerBad your way no pure. Watchout for these oyinbo women. They will squeeze you for child support

No need for illasa soup. We get am for quadruplets in my lineage. One blow, four land!!

Anytime I hear that child support thing I keep wondering how difficult it will be for guys out there as regards misbehaving...when you think of child support for 2 children nobody will teach you before you behave yourself.

VolTOxic:
I never said all men cheat.

You wrote that every man will...

VolTOxic:
No 1 is the harsh truth. Every man will cheat on his wife or Bae at some point. Or if he doesn't, he will want to.

Not all men cheat and I can never cheat on a lady that gives me what I want in marriage.

Ishilove:
Toks2008, I hope us women are allowed to cheat since we are expected to expect our husbands to cheat?

HungerBad, if you cheat on me we go wear one trouser

In my opinion I see it as her freewill.

Of course same goes for a man..only a foolish man will say his wife can never cheat on him.

The bottom line is that if a lady cheats and she is caught , she should be ready for the consequence and same goes for the man.

mhizAnnie:
Did I say the lady is sweet? Do I eat human beings? Smh too
I meant that if you don't have money u won't be doing all these extra stuff for a wedding

No be fight..issorite

I have seen many marriages break up and it seems there is a common ground for disintegration.Today I will be as real as usual and it will be in the best interest of any married lady or intending wife to take this piece seriously.

If you are a married lady reading this I want you to understand that these 3 facts are essential for you to experience a happy union.

1. Expect your hubby to cheat on you: I have heard many times that not all men cheat and I sincerely believe but nevertheless, to be on the safer side, expect that man to cheat on you.

By having this expectation, you will not be caught unaware and you would have developed a psychological shock absorber in the advent that he does but if he remains faithful to you then good for you. It is totally foolish for a lady to hinge her marital happiness on her husband's fidelity.

And the moment you start seeing those cheating signs in him,rather that start threatening fire and brimstone which may worsen the situation, i will advice that you simply warn him to do it as far can from you because what you don't know can't hurt you and warn him to use a protection to avoid bringing home STDs.

Once you tell him this, just switch to indifferent mode as regards his sexual faithfulness to you and choose to be happy regardless. Hard I know but this is just how the cookie crumbles and this is one secret to having marital bliss even with a hopeless philanderer.

[b]This is one big secret i want every married lady reading this to know; Yes cheating must be discouraged and guys involved must understand that it is a sure way to hell but no matter how long you preach against it,men who want to cheat will still cheat on their wives but here is the secret...98% of men who cheat on their wives still love their wives so dearly but only want to take advantage of ladies who have willingly offered their-selves as side dishes...NEVER EVER GIVE UP YOUR MARRIAGE FOR A SIDE DISH TO TAKE OVER because that is what she wants you to do and even if you leave your marriage, there is no guaranty that your next man won't do worse. Believe it or not, most men always come back to their wives no matter how many side dishes they take advantage of and many men suffer from mid-life delusion crises where they believe it is their right to be with as any ladies as possible but relax, that euphoria and delusion will soon wear off and you will have your man 100% to yourself...This is one big secret i just revealed to you.[/b]

2. Make your own money: Do you know that if you are really busy with your life and very financially independent, you will care less about who your husband sees, where he goes and what he does outside the home or even what he has in his will? Do you know that men respect financially independent ladies?

What I want many married ladies to know is that once they are married and start having children, the most important thing in their life at that point is self development and that of the child(ren). When you spend time developing yourself, even your hubby will give you great respect. Please don't ever settle to be a full housewife..at worst get a shop around where you stay and do something.

3.Perform your marital duties: Men do not joke with bedroom and kitchen matters. Do you know how to cook your husband's favourite meals? do you know how to make him go crazy in the room?

Most men who cheat are lured by either good food or bed-magics of another lady. While you refuse to go down on him and give him those crazy moves, one lady out there is ready to do stuffs that will make him have an attention at work just by thinking about her.

Many married ladies keep nagging about their husband's infidelity while neglecting those virtues that will endear their husbands more to them..most times when a man is drawn away by another lady, there is usually something that lady is doing that you are lacking so focus first on becoming a great wife before you complain of your husband's infidelity.

And for the man, be communicative and let your wife knows what you want so that she can do her best to make the union a better one.
And if you are so hell bent on cheating on your wife please do it as far away as you can because one of the biggest ridicule and disrespect you can bring on your marriage is to cheat on her to her face.

I believe that if married ladies understand these three points, they will always remain happy in their marriages and infact grow old with their partners till death do them apart. You just understand that no one holds the key to your marital happiness except you.


I hope this makes sense

mhizAnnie:
This is so cute...but finally sha soup wen sweet na money kill am

What makes a lady sweet? because she flaunts unclothedness? smh

niggi4life:
I still don't understand the reason why men beg, cajole, force and droll over women who look like bitches, is it because of d boobs she put on display? Or d fake hair? Or the over edited photo of d face?
To add salt upon injury the girl said NO, why don't u back out?
Very useless man, na dis kind man dey make women say "All men are d same"

Honestly i am so pissed at the guy.

Even if i am as ugly as an olger i will never ever drool over a lady.

If i let you into my intentions and you start forming genevive then you are on your own

Too many ladies out there to mess yourself up this way and for the lady please someone should help me tell her she goofed big time because she acted so immaturely.

Amazingly she still looks very hot after 9.

Tega4B:
Ok.Tx for Reading.

Av been in a relationship with my so called bf for about a year nw. Heaven knws I love him, about a month ago I got pregnant and he insisted dat I kip d pregnancy.

My problem is,after much questioning on y he's finding it so difficult to tell his parents,he opened up to me dat he got bck with his x nd dey are planning on getting married in December shocked .

Am frm a very responsible home,if my mum gets to find out she would insist dat we get married(I dnt want it to look like am forcing him on me).
Am jst few months old in my first job after school,still tryin to settle.If my boss gets to find out its a 50/50 chance of me loosing my job.

Being a baby mama is nt an option for me. Do I keep dis baby n go to his parents or Get rid of it n move on with my life.

Go to his parents and let them know but whatever you do please don't abort..i repeat don't dare.

xhles15:
God bless you for that statement.. #word

Please help me ask him if he can love without a reason.

I believe there are some attributes that create a desire for the opposite sex and no one can see anyone and just decide to be with such without a mortal reason.

Jadekitana:
A friend was chatting me up last night that he has been dating this lady for 2years now yet nothing has happened she keeps saying he should wait. The worst thing she invited him to Abuja last weekend for a wedding, after which he checked into a hotel with her. She slept with her pant and bra yet didn't allow my friend to touch her when he tried to, she threatened to leave the room for him! That's how he came to lagos empty. She would be 26 this year and has refused to have sex.

By the way i'v been tripping for this my friend for a year now,he threw me to the friend zone and keeps running to Abuja to meet madam Virgin who is busy hoarding her c.unt like it's made of gold. Some guys would just blatantly ignore the green light and be chasing what's not chasing them and yes i'm a Hater

Interesting story as usual.

Nevertheless. at 25 virginity for a lady is a plus and not a curse and guys will do all they can to have such lady.

There are different cliche of guys who are very sexually chaste and such will not be happy to end up with a lady who have passed under many guys.

Yes virginity is no criterion for sexual decency in the long run cos there is a probability of her going bazerk probably after testing it.

No matter the purple light you give to such guy, he will likely still be all over that virgin sister until he sees it through or get dumped.

I have a close male friend who is 41 and still a virgin so it depends on individual orientation.

As for me, I have realized that this virgin thing is a charade cos making a good partner is beyond virginity.

Quite a while Jade, good to read your piece again.Remain blessed.

I8:
Actually, it DEPENDS on what attracted them. If it is personality and character, it could last

Good so you agree that something actually brought them together.

Is it not apparent that if that personality and character disappears, the love will also fade leaving tolerance to set in as a shock absorber and possible an eventual break?