₦airaland Forum

siamia:
Well, u know....its a romance/relationship thread. I cud be wrong and wudnt mind being corrected, but what are the odds abt a 30 plus guy being serious with a woman in her early 40s? Hmm??

ofcourse we will have over 40 guys in the thread and even people in their 50s.

T wll widen the scope and while ladies and guys in their 30s can interact on platonic or emotional level with each other,those in the 40s can also do same with any desired age group.

more sso its not about age. i can date a sexy looking 45year old lady over a 30year old so its a matter of choiice and i believe also that this thread goes beyong hooking up but should also serve other meaningful puurposes.

Im a business consultant and just by viewing your thread on the school,i have raised a notion that will impact positively on the school and such is one of the purposes of the threaf.

There are definitely more important things iin life than romance.

Kingsley1000:
that moment when ur babe say em dey preggy

That will be the best news ever for me.

Lovely.

What is your USP...unique selling proposition that stands you out from others in that area?

siamia:
If u are 40 plus and single, we shd have our own thread to meet and talk.
Some of us are single, educated and ably employed. We are mature, responsible, gainfully employed, christian and godfearing. Some of us have kids that we are training and bringing up. We are involved in church, in impacting the lives of others, and contribute to the wellbeing of the society, But for one reason or the other, we are still single.
I have a lot of respect for nairaland, and I think its Nigeria's version of facebook, only better.
So if ur 40 and above, let's talk and see if the sparks will fly!
Pls note: no rude comments. Respect attracts respect. Nairalanders are great people.

I suggest you makr it 30plus.

I think 40 is too high.

I believe people of 30 and above are relative matured.

You never sabi these nauthy nairaland adolescents..lol


they must shook mouth.

graciousolo:
Bros, why are u discriminating na? Me I go follow chuk mouth for wetin una dey talk... On a serious note I would like to learn from the 40s. Thanks.

siamia:
I am a she (is that good english? Lol) and yes, I am above 40.
Actually am not here to discriminate or disrespect anyone. I went thru several threads before starting mine.
Actually, anyone from 37 can join up bcs great minds think alike.
I wud just like to chat with people who remember Mirror in the Sun, Village headmaster and stuff like that. Lol.

im aactually hoping that there will be a section on nairaland for age groups.

most times when i wriite articles,i do so for matuure audience but before you say jack many adolesfents don hijack the thread.

ojes1:
D moment when u come to known that those things are among what is making u to have setbacks in life n looking on to God 4 blessing. It is well.

I feel your point my guy.

Serious set back

lagmostkuit:
That moment is where I am now...




Nice one OP

You are not alone in this lady, many ladies and even super cute guys are in this situation but outwardly no one will have a clue. It is not even a factor of age but mindset of individuals.

Many ladies see a cute guy and they say he must be hooked and many guys see a sexy babe and say this one go don dey hooked but that person is sad and just hoping he finds that one person and not all these baseless unserious guys who are only interested in getting down with you or ladies who do not even know what they want.

Folanky:
That's moment is wen u ar about to Die.

LOL! Oga ade your profile pics is bent.Straighten it.

That moment when all the sexy ladies you see and the cute guys you see mean absolutely nothing to you. That moment when any form of love advances from guys are like stale songs in your ear and as a man,you have lost zeal for wooing ladies.

That moment in our lives when you just want to wake up beside someone to call yours,someone to be with,someone to raise a family with and someone to be a great companion to you.

That moment when you have realized the vagueness of chasing after every sweet lady you see and when that cute guy you see no longer wows you.

That is the moment you need to look inwards and pray to find that one person who wil just be ok for you. No mater how cute you are as a man and no matter how sexy you are as a woman,when that moment comes,you just might be forced to settle for the next person that comes your way.

This is the moment a lady gets to and decides to date or marry a married man or a man gets to and finds solace in a prostitute and people will be quick to say how come you chose a married man when we have single men every where and how come you are dating a prostitute.

In this moment,ladies become vulnerable and guys just lay down their guards. A very very tempting moment when a woman just wants to consider every pig that comes her way and when a man just chose to be with just about any lady.

A moment some find themselves in as a result of disappointment from those they love but we must also avoid getting to that moment by been proactive enough when the sun still shines and when the flower of a woman still blooms.

Letss do small arithmetic...
22000000000 / 70000000 〓 314.3
OLUWA O.

J3da:
I met my husband Dayo, in my third year at the university. I can still remember that day. He had come to my hostel to put up with his cousin Tomi for a short while as he was posted to the university health centre for his national youth service corps.. Tomi had forgotten to drop the keys to his room on Dayo's instructions and he was stranded. It began to drizzle after a while and I had no choice than to let him wait in my room. I gave him some water and we started a conversation. Dayo was such an amazing person to be with that I didn't realize how much time we had spent chatting. It just seemed like I had known him all my life. We became friends and I was the happiest girl at that time. Dayo was everything I wanted in a man. Tall, dark, handsome and of course a medical doctor. I was just too obsessed with getting married to a medical doctor that I forgot about everything else. Dayo probably understood that I loved him too much and made a fool of me. I willingly offered him my most prized possession, my body, my virginity. Dayo was too happy to know that he was the first man and he promised me everything in the world. He told me that he would take me to the altar as soon as he got a job and i earnestly hoped and prayed for it. However one thing I couldn't understand about Dayo was his attitude towards women. I wouldn't say he went after them, but he just couldn't resist them. He accepted gifts and cash from them and would often introduce me as his friend. Everytime I complained about his attitude, he would say he knew exactly what he was doing and there was no point nagging about anything as I would be his wife one day. .. God answered my prayers and Dayo was retained in the university health centre. I waited eagerly for his proposals as the days went by but he began to drag feet. He said he wanted to save more and I obliged but days grew into months and months into a year and Dayo wasn't willing to see my parents. Two years passed by and I grew weary of waiting. Dayo had a good job, a nice car and a small beautiful apartment but he kept on postponing the big deal. I stopped having sex with him and Dayo had a good reason to cheat on me with my little cousin. I was very mad at him and he apologised profusely. He told me that my sister had seduced him and I believed him. Sarah was such a spoilt brat so I let the matter go. I began sleeping with him again to secure my relationship . I cooked his food, did his laundry, kept his house clean and did all the wifely chores but still Dayo wasn't making up his mind so I decided to help myself. .. I deliberately got pregnant for him! I had mixed feelings. Would my pregnancy make him speed up our marriage plans? Would he be happy? Would he reject it? I thought about it for several days and finally opened up to him. He dropped his spoon of rice hastily as I made the comment "I am pregnant", looked at me angrily and said "You must be joking. Are you so stupid to get pregnant? I am not ready for marriage. You better take that bastard out of your womb if you ever want to see my face again". I nearly slumped,I couldn't believe my eyes. Everything came back to me in a flash. The first time we met, the first time we made love, the day he got his employment letter, the day I caught him with my little cousin, the many female friends, the weird text messages from female colleagues... The world came crashing at my feet and I realized that Dayo didn't love me as much as i thought. I realized that I didn't take .enough time to know him before accepting him,I realized that giving him my body was the worst mistake, I realized that I ignored all the warning signs. Dayo wasn't the man for me but I pushed too hard... I couldn't stand an abortion, I couldn't stand having a child outside wedlock so I went in search of his family. I was lucky to meet his mum and she accepted me with open arms. She told me that no son of hers would bring shame to the family and that I was in safe hands. She sent for Dayo and he made it very clear to his mother and other family members that he wasn't ready to marry me... I wept like a baby but Dayo wouldn't change his mind. My church got wind of the news and suspended my parents who were church elders. My father was very mad at me and warned me never to return home.
It was a lonely world for me. Dayo called me all sorts of names and told me that he only accepted the pregnancy because he was the first man but he was too young to get married... After much persuasions from his big uncles and family members, Dayo decided to pay my bride price and I moved in with him.. Its four years now and I still cry every night. I am pregnant for the second child but Dayo doesn't regard that as anything. He blames me for every misfortune in his life and treats me like thrash. He still hangs out with the boys and acts like a bachelor... My husband is 29 and he feels he is too young to be a father and husband. He says I dashed his hopes of going abroad to further his studies, he says I didn't let him have his dream home and life. He just keeps saying I messed his life and I wonder why...
Every day I hope and pray for a miracle and I know someday my husband Dayo would come around........
Dear single ladies, do not love a man too much and forget that you are special too. You deserve to be treated like royalty. Getting pregnant in a bid to make a man marry you is just a sheer waste of time... You really cant force a man to do anything. Let him make up his mind. Let him be the one in a haste to take you to the altar and not the other round....
Call me old fashioned but I will still tell the truth. Sex before marriage to a large extent beclouds your sense of reasoning. You never see things rightly when you are giving it...
Finally, a broken relationship is a million times better than a broken marriage. So quit if it isn't working. Even if you have invested a good number of years in it, walk away. It is far better than spending the rest of your life in tears...A man who treats you like thrash in a relationship won't do better in marriage.. Wise up!

This is why i create meaningful threads on nairaland for ladies to learn from but will they?

Dear this is a cross you must carry so just face it and pray he loves you.

initial gragra syndrome is a terrible thing and its not about finding your dream man but rather for you to be the dream woman of your man.

Please i advice everry lady reading this to go through my nairaland personal walll and read my threads very well cos f you do and put to practise what i advice,you will hardly go wrong.

tosyne2much:
Online dating is a NO NO for me, because of the disappointment, infidelity, risk, scam and short of expectations associated with it.

Not long ago, i gave it a trial and the outcome put me in deep sh*t
.Stil regretting it till date


Just that I feel that it would be quite unnecessary to narrate it to romancelanders

The online thing works for some while it doesnt work for others. *Do whatever rocks your boat*

Meeting someone onliine is different from dating the person onliine.

I have met very decent and respomsible ladies on nairaland and i have seen some of them who liive close one on one and trust me,these are super responsible ladies.

What i wont indulge in is onlne dating which is pure hogwash. If i meet you online,i would prefer to see you one on one rratther than the baseless online dating thingy.

There are rrules to follow if you rreally want a ppurposeful online hookup

MsBliss:
Love conquers all things

Very true..

Dooess that mean theree is no real love because most ladies will seldom answer Yes to 3 out oof these

tosyne2much:
No lady in her right sense picks handsomeness over whealth

Except the finanxially independent ones and non Nigerian ladies.

shokky24:
Hmmm

Yes very thought provoking i guess.

If any lady can answer yes to at least 4 out of the 5 questions and she is still single at 30 then let her seek spiritual help.

proserfina:
The problem is that we ladies at times tends to be myopic... As a woman, stupidity is when you sit back
cross-legged and search for an already made man. In
case you don't know, every already made man
out there has a woman who has been with him
from when he had only a pair of shorts and a
single shirt. That's why majority of well to do
men, usually make you nothing but a sex- toy,
for you mean absolutely nothing to them.
He might cheat on her with you, but truth is,
he'll never leave her for you… If you are guilty
of hunting for an already made man, then i tell
you, my dear you are such a cow, you actually
need horns. When a good healthy brain settles,
yours floats!
He may not own a car.
He may not earn a lot of money.
He may not live in a posh estate.
He may not be able to shower you with gifts all
the time.
He may not have a great job.
But it’s enough to know you are the only one he
craves for and loves unconditionally
As such we should learn to live with the hardworking man and pray that God will bless the work of his hands.

I cant help quoting this awesome post again.

Your type is rare.

benedictnsi:
No be wetin 2015 ladies ask you........ Any kind work dey ok for dem, even if say na palm wine tapper...... But make e get MONEY

LOBATAN!

honestmike:
this might apply for me to be into a lady. but for those one night stands it really doesn't matter

Interesting.

Otibho80:
yes and there are different types

Then it even makes it easier for them to remove it.

Honestly many guys are too reserved to voice out and that is why i asked ladies to take the simple test in the last paragraph and it will amaze them what their guy will tell them.

olakumby:
I just sent u a msg...I have to tell u something asap

Oh thanks for the message dearie.

BTW you look very sweet if that is your natural look *winks*

Otibho80:
i have neva seen or heard of any lady dat has scraped her eye lash o

Or is it that they just fix that barbie eye lashes on the real one?

bqlekan:
It shall be well with this guy... and this ain't controversial

I receive the prayer my brother and i say a big resounding AMEN

Laveda:
Nah, not 90...if shaving the brow would make her look good, guys don't have issues with that..or maybe the ones you've come across doesn't like it

Are you a man? Just do the embolden in the last paragraph and really beg him to be sincere and his response will amaze you.

adeitoro:
U are on point Op.

Good

Laveda:
Really? Eyebrows? I don't believe that... Met guys who fancy that alot

My sister as i wrote.."A wow for one guy is a nay for another"

All i know be say, many real guys will agree 90% with what i wrote and please just try and leave your eyebtow rather than scrapping it off.

Remember i wrote that you can design the original as you want,its the scrapping off that im not cool with.

Before you say its Toks again i would like to clear the air by stating emphatically that one man's like is a dislike for another and what wows another man in a lady could be a total turn off for another man so my write up does not hold true for all men.

Nevertheless the fact remains that as a real man and a responsible one at that, i represent a percentage of men out there and i believe that many guys with responsible nature and sound mind will agree with this write up so i do not expect everyone reading this to accept my stands but as we all know,everyone is entitled to his or her opinion.

As they say,"you have no second chance to create a first impression" and i also know that outward appearance sometimes do not suggest who the person is but when a man meets a lady for the very first time,even without saying hello,there are vital things that a guy sees and makes his judgement regarding such a lady and for me,these 9 things will turn me off instantly if im meeting a lady for the very first time.


1.Scraped eyebrow replaced with pencil drawings: God is the greatest artist and every lady must understand that having your eyebrow on your face gives you a natural distinctive beauty and yes it is allowed to shape it as you want but scraping it off and replacing it with a eye pencil drawing can never make you as naturally beautiful as the original makes you.

2.Scraped natural eye lashes replaced with fake doll like eyelashes: I really don't know what many ladies think when they remove a beautiful natural eyelashes to replace it with a funny looking doll like one. Believe it or not,the natural eyelashes have a function that the artificial can never be able to perform and if you must know,having your natural eyelashes on gives your eyes a more alluring look than the fake and funny looking barbie like one. You are human for crying out loud so remain as one.

3.The use of non-recommended contact lenses: I don't even know how to describe this one but trust me, i even fear ladies that use such just for the sake fancy because it gives me an idea that such a lady is very mean to herself because how can a lady use another lens to cover the original one without even the fear of going blind?Please save yourself the sermon of how painless it is and face fact.Its better for me to be with a blind lady than one who willingly decides to make herself blind by endangering her eye lenses.I can't stress this enough.

4.Irregular piercings: This is a hard turn off for me and when i see a lady having more than one hole on each ear,im like "this one is over exposed" and when i now see another hole in the upper ear region,nose,lips and so on i just give up on such and consider her as a real hustler(Guys know what i mean). Except maybe you are a northerner or from some countries that makes it a norm i do not see any sense in having all your face pierced and some even go the length of piercing their tongue and kini and i just wonder how some men will open their arms to such woman and cal them sweet heart,no be me..lai lai!

5.Bleached or over creamed body and face:As a guy have you ever moved close to ladies who have used cream to change their skin color in the name of toning up or some bleached bodies? i can't comprehend how guys dating or married to such cope because the smell of their denatured skin nutrients is so appalling and i wonder how it will be when they go unclad.

There are micro organisms that are natural flora of the skin and these microbes are every harmless and they fight of many things from our skin and by the time you use bleaching and cream kill these helpful microbes, what is left is a helpless skin that will be exposed to different external harmful germs and the resultant effect is a smelly skin and of-course many bleached bodies end up in disaster.

Abeg if you are a lady reading this please avoid bleaching or using strong cream for your body in the name of toning.There us a natural body fragrance that turn men on in ladies so please maintain that fragrance and use mild cream to maintain and bring out your natural color without crossing the delicate line.

6.Tattooed body:Some guys claim they get turned on by seeing tattoos on their women and i just shake my head because i do not see any correlation between tattoo and beauty, Call me archaic but i don't see why i will be wowed by a lady who draws tattoo on delicate areas that only her man should see and i get wowed by that and even if the tattoo is drawn at a comparatively exposed part of the body it still does not add up for me because keeping your body clean and void of unnecessary drawings in the name of tattoos will make more sense and even make you look alluring.trust me, real men get turned off when they see tattoos on a lady;s body especially some parts of her body that should not be seen by all.

7.Excessive use of jewelries and accessories: Some ladies are obsessed with wearing 5neck chains at a time,hand chain,leg chain,rings on all fingers and so on habba na wettin? please no man wants to have an idea that you will spend all his money on buying jewelries or be the type that may use all her life savings on purchasing jewelries. Use jewelries moderately and you will look even more beautiful.

8.Excessive make up:Sometimes i believe that ladies who make up actually make up for what they do not have. You don't need to look like a masquerade to prove a point and guys get turned on seeing a lady in her natural state that after she has packaged her face to look sweet.

Little wonder why a man divorced a lady and took her to court because he felt she hid her true look from him and made him believe she was pretty just to find out after marriage that he has entered one chance. Abeg be more natural than artificial and a man who will love and want you wil always come.

9.Indecent dressing: I can't even stress this enough.Many ladies go about unclad yet with cloths on and i do not see why any reasonable and responsible man will put a ring on such a lady except there is another motive. Guys love to imagine what is under those attires so please don't show us everything.

10.Smoking and alcohol intake:I can't even start to describe how repulsive it will be for me to enter a place and find a lady spewing out smoke from her mouth or with a bottle of liquor in her hand.How do i even say hi to such but then some guys might just be ok with such ladies.

If every lady is asked to state the type of man they want, they will readily use the words"i want a real man" and then i wonder how unreal they can ever be. A lady who uses fake eyelashes,eye lenses,nails,and so on should wish for a fake man and not a real man.

My advice is that every lady should try to look as natural as she can because real men love ladies who look natural and if every lady reading this wants to really confirm this write up please do this..If you are "guilty" of any of the things i wrote above just ask your man his sincere view about it and hear his response.

I hope this makes sense.

Behira:
Dats not low self esteem, d guy loves his gal and deserves to be treated same....afta all we ladies wud do worse.

Shey the guy no know before sey the babe dey into showbiiz?

This is why most of these glam girls no dey tey with one man and those wey dey lucky marry sef dey comot for husband house sharpaly.