₦airaland Forum

kris4luv01:
Internal Revenue Service

Bros, I hope that's not your job?

justmenoni:
Uncle tosyne I hail ooo but ur list is very bias u know...according to you and ur analysis sin is a sin?? I agree if so then all professions in Nigeria won't let someone make heaven.


Doctor; oga u hv malaria (even though u are perfectly alright)

Mechanic ; oga this ur engine needs replacement ooo(even though u just need to service ur car)


Travel agents; my sisters husband uncle's father is a friend to the pa of a friend to the American ambassador to Nigeria so ur visa is guaranteed..


Taxi drivers; ha oshodi it's very far ooo and the traffic is usually crazy( even if u stopped him at fatai atere)


Banks/bankers; u are charged 100 naira for sms this month,when u are not even in Nigeria and don't even hv transactions on ur account, but this same alert will stop when u hv 1 kobo left in the same account.


Teacher's/ lecturers : brung this,brung tgar,buy this buy that.


Olosho ; my well is tight oooo ...babe I haven't Had any customer since morning( even though 100 kondos hv been there same day)

Fish seller's /market sellers: this fish is fresh from the rivers oooo(even though they bought it frozen...market women be like I bought it for 1000 I'm just selling it at 900 cos market no dey........ Wait did I add igbo trader's?? Oh please don't let's go there!!! Am I lieing ohk go to any bridge meet a igbo seller and price his versace glasses and irs 20k cos according to him it's original then be like oga I can giv u only 200 naira and u go heart please add 100 naira na...


U add bloggers etc but please add nl mods those ones are fucking liars... Tosyne is popular and there is 100% probability of his topic making fp..well I don't care cos anything from tosyne, tonyeba.rcanista, naijas.inglegirl can mk fp cos im always Interested

So you think there's 100 probability of my topics gracing the FP ? hahaha

Ferdinandu:
Chai It has reached the extent that Nigerians see Yahoo Yahoo as a regular legal job in Nigeria.No wonder every foreigner see every Nigerian as a Fraudster .Op I used to see you as one of the few normal people on nairaland but obviously you are not normal for putting Criminal activity in the same category of an honest Job.

johnjimiflex:
Apart from the one on "Yahoo Yahoo" guyz, every other thing on this post wells up from one crazy fountain of stereotype and the writer has been so incapacitated that he is unable to see that the fact that there are some policemen that accept bribes or some Nepa officials that do the same doesn't mean that others do.... why not you go and study your fallacies and ask your brain fr help when you want to make any post again

yollychika:
Op done visit heaven b4 b dat

aolumaxi:
abeg tell us ur inspiration for topics like dis....?

AbuadStudent:
you dey go federal poly!

Yeah Federal Poly, Ado-Ekiti

Logicbwoy:


Tosyne2much!!

This aint the romance section

My lists are not only limited to the Romance section.


Na only Politics section no wan easy for me

aolumaxi:
This man won't stop making me laff... #thumbs up....

Lemme add mine...

Ghost Workers : them no work, yet dem dey receive alert? How heaven sure for them?

The write-up funny shey?

1. Politics

Even though the Bible says we should not judge others; personally speaking and generally summarizing, our politicians have little chances of making heaven. This is because the world of politics is a different world on its own where all sorts of atrocities are performed. One of my lectures, before he passed on, always said that an average politician is a looter and can kill
to find his way to the top

2. Police

We all know that the larger percent of our policemen are very cunning and dubious. They are always using devious ways to get money. Some of them will arrest innocent civilians on the streets and will force them to write report of guilt. To find a policemen who doesn't accept bribe, is likened to finding the actual amount of money looted by GEJ during his tenure


3. NEPA

Next in rank are NEPA officials. These ones share the same characteristics with our policemen. NEPA officials, who occupy top positions are always very rich. This is because they collect bribes and manipulate figures of paid electricity bills, hence, riding exotic cars. Let's not forget the ones who will go and rent ladders and will come to your house for bribery

4. Yahoo Yahoo

"Yahoo yahoo" is a modernised name for 419. Since it is what people venture into which puts food on their tables, then it can also be said to be a job to them . These people will always justify their 419 acts, saying that they are collecting back our money from the colonial masters who milked us dry of our crude oil during the colonial era. However, these people are also hovering at every hotel, spending extravagantly on hot drinks and prostitutes. This people have little chances of making heaven

5. Phone sellers

Especially those ones you will see at Computer village selling stolen phones on the street. They will lie that their brother from the UK sent the phones to them, when it fact, it was stolen. Some of them will quote Bibles verses just to get you convinced that their purpose of selling a particular fone, is because they want to use the money to settle school bills

6. Lecturing

This may not be 100% valid but to some extent, it is. It's very difficult to find a lecturer in our tertiary institutions who doesn't at least womanize nor accept bribe. However, some of them don't womanizer but accept bribes and vice versa. Some of them are neither collect bribes nor womanize, but they are sadist. Their chances of making heaven is 1000 odds

7. Banking Jobs

Bankers also have little chances of making heaven. This is because most of our bankers are somewhat dubious and also use duress to flirt and coerce female job seekers into doing what they would ordinarily not do on a normal day. Let's also not forget the fact that some of them even withdraw money from customers who have got huge amount of money in their accounts. The last time N300 vanished from my account, I proceeded to the manager's office and started raining curses on him

8. Customer Care

These people are naturally born liars. Especially MTN customer agents who are very skillful when it comes to deceiving customers, especially when you call to complain about the deductions from your account. They will lie to you that the machine for running through your account is not coming up, and that you should give a call back in the next 24 hours. This is because they are clueless about your situation and can't help.


9. Blogging/Journalism

These people will always come up with cooked up stories just to attract views. Some of them will come up with untrue stories about anointed men of God, just to attract views and make cool cash. Their chances of making heaven is quite slim

10. Feel free to add yours


I drop my pen at this point

May God help us all

Happy Sunday fellas

Cc
Lalasticlala

AbuadStudent:
Yeah

Oooooh !! My school is exactly opposite ABUAD

jopretty:
Get one of her friends you trust to do that for you. The idea is that friend would ask her to accompany her to the market to get some stuffs. On getting there, the friend should cook up a story about wanting to get neck, wrist or whatever chain and off they go to that section and while checking for that, the friend should pick up any engagement ring to try on and also ask your girl to do same. And viola! you'll get the answer you seek. Thank me later when it works out that way.

You are a lady of wisdom

ronald4lif:
This sounds funny.

cococandy:
Lol. How do we know the guy was not lying about his own virgin status? Who can tell?

Mhizkel:
Are you insinuating a shoe maker ain't human?
If you don't know who a shoe maker is, it's one who manufactures shoes and also help in amending damaged ones. If he has a good capital, he could enlarge the business.
Oh! You want her to bring home a wealthy man?
No offense, you sound like a poverty striken one.
If your sister didn't bring home a man now, you'd come here to post ''Help, my sister is 40 and not yet married''
You had better focus on your future and allow your sister prepare hers.

Mhizkel don vex

AbuadStudent:
....

Are you truly a student of ABUAD ?

azeecoboy:
welldone sir,atleast u berra pass this guy down here

hahahahaha


That guy own worst oooo

azeecoboy:
then how much can you really spend?

I can't spend more than 1k on a date

ronald4lif:
Omo that's a huge sum of money to spend on a date, that's 20bags of Dangote cement bruv.

I don't know but 50k on a date is too much I'd rather spend that in pounds. The thing is spending £200 on a date out wouldn't even seem extra special, just a normal recipe and wine might gulp that amount in the UK.

But when looking at it in naira, what do two people want to eat to gulp that amount? Unless they go to Sheraton, Nicon hotels and their likes where their stuff are pricey. If you're out with your guys that's understandable not with just consumables for two. I can't.

wristbangle:
Chai

Ronald4lif and tosyne2much.

Can you spend N50k on a date?

Chukazu:
pump attendant?
that means you are working in an oil company naa.
"subsidy money.? "
would you rather wait for hunger and poverty to do "collabo " for your head

JealousPrince:
i dun talker tire, buy dem dey tink say i dey lie or i dey carry talk.

Wrist,bangle is tosyn2much and tosyn2much is wrist,bangle.

Seriously ?

StrawberryCream:
Says who

StrawberryCream:
u dey take style toast me It wont work

All ladies are liable to be wooed

StrawberryCream:
Lol so thats how u show love tosyne .. That guy in that pic is whipped ... She don wrap am round her pinky finger

Hahaha roflwkmd


If I do the same thing for you ?