₦airaland Forum

i honestly feel sorry for her. really sorry

Why China of all places in the world? their own people are leaving and we are going there
if one want to go for business why not do your thing and leave and if you want to trade there why not get the right papers and go your thing, besides at the end of the day its their business thats in jeopardy if they choose to remain there illegally
but just packing my bags and saying its China i want to live in is just amazing!

soloqy:
I wouldnt go to a 'church' called *Jehovah Sharp Sharp*.

lol lol lol i thought i was the only one who noticed the unusual name.

Dear Poster,

Let me first of all acknowledge the honesty in your story.

I am a woman like you, married for 4 years now. I presume you are a stubborn woman like me so I will put myself in your shoes.
The very first mistake you made in this matter was to have called him back when he made his way out. Men usually do this when they want to avoid beating their wives and you should have left him to go away and cool down. That would have saved the day. how do we train up people believing fighting is ok let alone beating?. i know we have some shameless insulting lunatics amongst our women but that is no excuse to beat up any woman.

Your second mistake is that you have accepted beating as part of your marriage. Otherwise, the very first time it happened should have been the last if you handled it very well. Once upon a time, in the heat of a quarrel, I dared my husband and he hit me just slightly. The first thing I did was to call his role models - his sister and his uncle and told them every thing. My husband couldnt believe I could go that far for a 'little' hit, he felt ashamed and sober. Its been almost a year now and I keep reminding him each time he asks me why I am less romantic these days.

Your third mistake is that you lack respect for your husband, otherwise you would not exchange words with him or hit him with a stick regardless. You husband seem to lack respect for you too, but let me tell you one truth, 'Respect demands respect'. Show some respect and you will most likely see a reciprocal.

Now my advise for you is try to be sure he is fine but dont let him know you are looking for him. it may be hard, but let him get over it himself. Call one of his close family members (just one trusted family memeber) and tell him/her the whole story. Then tell the police about his disappearance. Continue with your life. I hope you are working and can fend for yourself.

i was enjoying your post until i got to the part in bold. i think its wrong to still be acting that way after a year. just wrong someone said love keeps no record of wrong and that i think is correct too.

Thank God for the birth of the baby but i must add, She is lucky the church agreed to do the baby dedication for them, most churches i know of would decline. Neighbour by the way are you sure they are not married they might have done a quiet court wedding. u can never tell

besides i just noticed USA as your location and u know oyibo mentality nor b like our own. you know common partner get right wen almost equal if not eqal husband and wife for that place.

rave2u:
I do not believe what the woman says about him hitting her only once. I've studied women in abusive relationships, and I have come to realize one common characterstics they all share. Most times these women do not even know they are being abused and make excuses for the abuser.

No wahala lets flip the coin. Say you are right what would you advise her to do now or say she should have done?

omar22:
So she should sit around and wait for "Busta Douglas" to come around and rain blows on the wife,

Which part of the weaker vessels people dont understand?

I understand all part of the weaker vessel thing. i dont condone violence and if anyone should be doing women's right now trust me i should be the one dont let me expantiate. go back and read her post sadly the man hit her once in the past but basically he is not a violent man she said it herself. he does not know there is a better way in handling issues he needs to learn that. A real man would not hit a woman and worse still a woman holding his own child. i shudder to think of it. some people carry their issues into marriage and need to work on them. this might be an area for him. from her first post and the tone i am lead to believe it was a case he was probably not thinking straight. he has alot to learn obviously. Inshort both would need to work on somethings in years to come when they look back they would feel ashamed they once acted like that and then be a source of help to young couples. i am not married but i know this, the way my father acted when i was in primary school was definately not what i continued seeing as i grew older. people learn and grow in marriage.
bringing family members into the matter via phone or calling the cops is not the way forward. Giving up on the marriage is not either. if it was a case of an abusive marriage plagued with constant beating and insults i wont hold the same view

Gud1:
I know many guys/ladies out there are dangling with similar situations like mine. I got married to this lady because of my family pressure 2 marry her, after dating 4 five yrs. She was not the lady i intend 2 marry[b] but all because of the pressure 4rm friends, family and herself i put myself in this mess[/b]. I'm not happy in my house until when am out with friends, many at times i feel like sending her parking but 2 retain my parent respect in the public makes me to let her be. I really need your advise to be a happy man once again.

Since you bowed to pressure then and are still trying to retian your parents respect in the public, you will continue to bear this burden you willing allowed people put upon you.

Meanwhile tell your In laws about everything [/b]and please when all this is over (Gods willing) try and open a good communication medium between you and your Husband. [b]Avoid third party advise to influence you

For the love of God why in heavens name should she tell her inlaws things and at the same time avoid third party?
i have never understood why my husband would do something and i'd call his brother or mother to report him. Tell them that what now, report him when i'd be doing myself harm.The average attitude of the Nigerian inlaws is scary why would i want to do this to myself? A man i married my friend and i cant reason with him or get an impartial third party to speak with him in the worse case scenerio. God forbid! sometimes we women cause trouble for ourselves. one thing is that your husband's brother, mother, father, sister would always be loyal to him. Even if he breaks your head with a motar their son will always be the good one and tomorrow what you tell them they will use against you. i stand to be corrected

For the love of God, why should she call the cops or start bring inlaws in? she said it is not something he does regularly though he hit her once previously. i am not and have never been in support of a man that beat his wife but calling the cops here makes no sense.
Both of you were wrong hitting you while you held the baby is just insane i am trying to understand that. why would he have done that? are you sure you were telling him to come back in the house or insulting him? he must have been out of his mind and angry at that stage i dout if he was even thinking at all though that is not an excuse.
hitting him the next day with a stick was insane as well. two wrongs never made a right
Madam i suggest you leave inlaw people out of this matter, leave police first i beg you. call your husband, if it goes to voice mail fine. just call him make sure he is ok let him know he is needed at home. i suggest speaking to a trusted family friend or pastor if you guys are christians. an impartial party who will advise you both and let him know its big sin to beat a woman and if you provoke him or you are too haughty, the time is right to take lessons in humility. please please please pray too and apologise to him. if he has enough sense he should apologise too (if not for anything for hitting you while you held the baby)even though he might be to proud to do it first. keep talking all the time rmb communication. it is well

your story funny with style sha

Nawa ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. ure probably an american living there u should be the one telling us!

ezinne1212:
ah! Young love. Fret not, the harsh realities of life will sort out your dilemma in due course.

Lol lol

1. she is a youba girl .
2. she is just a jambite.
3. she has no idea on ibo food preparation.
4 her familly attends celestial church.
5. she is the first daughter meaning more responsibility.

if u know u will never feel comfortable leaving ur tribe why did u agree to date her. why prolong the matter let her go now
if u know u cant marry person when just enter school because u nor fit dey give am school fees or wait make she get the job, or juggle kids and family life why did u agree to date her. why prolong the matter why not leave her now
anyone can learn how to do anything especially something as simple as making food. thats no excuse
does she attend it herself. if this idea was so bad y did u date her in d first place
yeah yeah yeah thats another reason why you should move on with your life nor be people dey marry first son and daughter. you need all the excuse in the world to leave her. i think with the traits you listed she has, she sure deserves someone who would treat her better

lol

more people go call am now. lol

isiegbe:
We where in love back in our secondary school. . We broke up because of distance. Now we regained contact again . But i really love her . My friend said she is too old for me. Now i can not really talk about my girl in the present of my friend

are u sure ready for this shit. i doubt it. what does ur friend have to do with this.

If no one answers him, the thread will die a natural death. dont u guys get it, he keeps pushing you, posting pics you keep repeating yourself, saying the same thing, thats what he likes the attention, how he works you up and keeps the topic running one page after another. How is this thread different from the last one? m out

But when you go to some of these so called bank and company website they state it there in black and white you need to pass the GSE exam to be considered for employment. Nawa

sleek_p:
Na wah for this Bolt, who go fit bit all these record?

Good question na cheetah in the form of human being oh. e go tey
thanks to d peeps who took time to talk bout the drug clarification thing. honestly ive not heard of this guy until he broke the 100m record this first time

suya 50box
pure water 10box
fried yam with small stew on top 40box then trek home


Eba 30box
soup with small meat 60box
pure water 10box

rice and stew with fish, meat or egg 80box
pure water 10box u still got change
thank me later dont go to first grade buka sha

Has he been tested and found clean. The speed at which he does it is just unbelievable!

Double N:
I believe it also.After all the hubbub,the whole matter will die with no significant explanation.

My brother nor be lie from the word go all the big big boys name them ibori, igbenedion, tafa, dt bayelsa gov what ever happens to them? Nothing does anyone serve time? its always one money they refund and the case is closed.

The way energy power issue died is the same way this case will die. watch and see

y do i bliv this statement?

proudly9ja:
EFCC is looking for Akingbola, Ibru, Adigwe, etc. None of these people where alleged to have stolen money or used their bank's money for personal or private use. Meanwhile the people who loaned the money and refused to pay back are hanging around Mr President. Abi Ibori and Dangote names no dey list wey commot some days back?

Bloody Hypocrites!

ok now, c wot i mean? Up naijaaaaaaaaaaa

You are in trouble.

nex:

Nigerians won't buy a plate of "amala" from a restaurant for N50 last month and buy same for N100 this month without noticeable improvement on the quantity, quality or taste. Why do we buy shares of companies more expensively when there's hardly any improvement in the companies themselves.

Some Nigerians even have shares of companies that have packed up and they are still trading the shares. Nigerians I bow to you O!

Some people are ready to buy Nitel shares at N20 if they start selling today. I just can't understand it.

you have spoken very well. food for thought

Thank God the problem is over. I had to close from work early today 2pm to see my gurl. I called her and told her I was coming so we could thrash out issues face to face instead on the phone. Though I did not go to her house this time around cos I wanted us to be alone. I called her to meet me up in a hotel. when she came I hugged her and tried kissing her as usual but she was turning her head so that i don’t kiss her. I apologised to her again and begged her to forgive me. She told me she has already forgiven me but we cannot continue again but we will still be very good friends. To cut the story short, after much talking and pleading, she was still standing her ground. I told her its okay and that there is no problem and i have accepted it with good fate and that even though i love her, it is going to take some time for me to get her out of her mind. Though she did not bring the issue of me apologising to the mom through out our discussions even though i have already made up my mind within me that i was not going to do that.Then I told her we should be leaving that I want to get home. She then asked if i was not going back to work and i told her i have closed for the day. She asked me if she could come home with me and I told her no. She asked why and i told her there was no need since we are no longer together but she can visit aany other day. [b]As I was about walking out of the room, she held my hand and pulled me back. The next thing that happend, she hugged me closely and started crying telling me that I should not go and i know she loves me and that there was no way she was going to breakup with me. [/b]After so much romantic talk, the next thing we found ourselves already, And i can’t remember the last time we had it like this.
The good thing is that we have settled our differences and she said she is coming to spend the weekend in ma place.

All is well that ends well. i like the babe style. lol
Guy learn to trust, never beat a woman again, and solve your problems within yourself in the future.
nice story now back to my work

*Hauwa*:
izeek story made me laugh. but dont you think the wifey was scared to let in a guy when hubby wasnt at home?

going to someone's home unannounced is soooooooooo wrong!!

STOP the habit, naija guys!

God bless you. Why do relations think they have a right to act like this. We had this uncles that did this alot. damn right rude. Coming in by say 9pm when everyone has eaten and gone to bed and start asking for eba and hot water to bath.damn