₦airaland Forum

GSKing:
My dear, What took you so long to put all these together?


I totally forgot about this thread.


You need my attention, you'll have to beg for it next time.


You tried to thrash my posts with blatherings from a bigotted belly?


Go N Die!!!


But before that...


Take God's dick in your mouth, will you?

Not just degenerate, but also perverse.

God can deliver you, just humble yourself and ask Him
And you have nothing of any value to lose, just the burden of your corruption.

Surely the deal of a lifetime - for all eternity !


TV

red101:
you made no logical point in your post.
Again, it's a matter of CHOICE for women. If this statement is unintelligible to you then tough luck.
what you call a "horror" is a blessing for many women.

besides, I never said life expectancy was driving later marriage. What I said is that increased life expectancy AND later marriages are contributing factors to late parenthood. and consequently late parenthood results in increased need for fertility treatment like the type that is the subject of this discussion.

Read clearly next time then maybe you will be less confused.

afternoon red101,

I take back the unintelligible comment and remark about “content”. Apologies. I read your previous posts as you claim you intended. I can see we are both zealous for women’ best interest, but let that zeal not cloud the discussion.

Now lets go back to your post that I originally responded to. You said this

red101:
I certainly would especially if offered to me for free. It's a form of insurance.

Now, the egg-freezing process is such that many believe it should not even be passed as a sound medical procedure. Yet it is being touted as a “choice”, you even labelled it as “insurance”

The best estimates are a success rate of 10% (in women over 40). That after the trauma of having to have them harvested in the first place and the cost per cycle of around £5000, of which there are typically 3.

Then, the eggs have to be used in IVF. Here is a table with the success rates for 2010 in the UK’ NHS

 32.2% for women under 35.
 27.7% for women aged 35-37.
 20.8% for women aged 38-39.
 13.6% for women aged 40-42.
 5% for women aged 43-44.
 1.9% for women aged over 44.

These success rates again depend on 3 cycles of IVF – which I showed in my earlier links that many health authorities do not provide due to the cost (a minimum of £3’000).

So when you combine the success rate of egg-freezing with the possible outcomes for IVF for women over 40, what do you have?

A highly invasive, traumatic and costly procedure, which has a very low success rate. When you weigh that against a woman opting to prioritise birth during her prime fertility window for relatively no pain and at relatively no cost or risk – does it not make more sense to offer support at this point?

Do you really consider that a choice – like having porridge or muesli for breakfast? Or choosing to exercise in the morning as opposed to later in the evening? It’s a miss-sell, couched as empowerment – a few notches above fantasy - which will lead to many hurt and frustrated women.

We have close family friends (a couple) who spent upwards of £60K to have the one child. The time, cost and trauma were eventually all worth it – they have a lovely son. But many don’t have the money, many relationships can’t bear the strain and most attempts result in failure.

How can anyone claim that is “a choice”? It could well be called so in the sense of it being a last resort, or a final option, which is what one is left with when one has no choice.

I’ll ask you just one question – would you sell that to someone you love as insurance?


TV

EMANY01:
Exactly there was a time that wearing a bra was a taboo among the southern easterners then only strong headed "lost" free spirit women did it.T he claim was that they were damaging the breasts and would not be able to breastfeed their infants later. Its really funny how times change.

And be as that may be, what has it to do with lewdness or immorality?


TV

exebi:
These comments resonated with me..and it is frightening. Yes sometimes I feel she has flipped from loving me to hating me. I noticed this a while ago and tried multiple times to address it with her to no avail.

What can a man do under these circumstances?

Please ask yourself and distinguish between the state of having “character flaws” or being “irredeemably evil”.

I’m assuming the former here? If she is evil, then you need to be on your knees up a high mountain. If she is displaying hypergamy, your re-presented frame as a man should ultimately fix that, but you still need to be prayerful and ensure you act in all righteousness.

Women are by nature – and without intense socialisation or deeply held religious beliefs – prone to hypergamy. That is what I essentially explained to you earlier, whilst showing you the way ahead.

What you have to be careful of, is allowing her to get to the point of utterly despising you, which is what it sounds like from your above response and could make the situation all but irretrievable.

I was half-joking about getting her pregnant, but is there any reason why she has not taken in. And more pointedly, does she still welcome you into her bed? All things being equal, it’s a clear indication that a relationship is in a bad way.

But even with such a situation, you can still turn things around. There will be some things that hold her in the marriage. You must work apace to fully restore it, and see she gets to the point of wanting to be married to you.


TV

An interesting thread, my observations;

5minsmadness, I don’t agree you can blame the West for this lewdness, although it’s obviously influenced to a large by them. Individuals and nations have to accept responsibility for what they practice or indulge in.

And the West can be imperialistic at times – most noticeably and most recently in their attempt to strong-arm some African nations around “gay-legislation”

It’s also somewhat off point to claim we should give up phones the internet, electric toothbrushes etc. as they are Western. That has nothing to do with the matter at hand. All nations & cultures are free to learn from, and share with one another. It’s about what you learn and how you share.

I laugh at those who claim that unclothedness or semi-unclothedness was always “African Culture”. The usual lack of insight or depth. It’s documented that Yoruba youth of yore, would in their semi-naked states, go about daily activities and promiscuity would not even be hinted at.

The main difference between that age and this is the contemporary “sexualisation” of society and promiscuity taken as standard. There is simply no correlation.

Have to really shake my head at nonsensical notions of “choice” and a full grown adult being allowed to dress however they chose. Again, from those who possess no understanding of “the collective good”, “moral decency” or “societal standards”. They are present and customary for the good of us all. Flouting them will be detrimental to us all.


As for the historical discussion. It’s pointless. Some are talking from an eschatological POV and some from a purely literal view. Never the twain shall meet.


The Treaty of Rome - officially the Treaty establishing the European Economic Community (TEEC), is an international agreement that led to the founding of the European Economic Community (EEC) on 1 January 1958. It was signed on 25 March 1957 by Belgium, France, Italy, Luxembourg, the Netherlands and West Germany.



TV

Exebi,

Listen to me very carefully and please don’t be upset if I use your experience to give insight to others.

If all you say about yourself is true – and I’m responding assuming it is - you have two basic problems;

1. You are not living up to your wife’ expectations of you
2. You are trying too hard to please her

1. For many (Naija) women, marriage is a question of ticking boxes. Boxes ticked, they then seek to “force their wills” on the situation. Her expectations have nothing to do with you per se - in terms of forming them - but all to do with you in terms of delivering them.

Even if her expectations are unrealistic, and had no input or agreement from you, you are still to blame. Even if you meet her expectations and she changes them – without you being involved or knowing – you are still to blame. “That is the pain you are causing her”. She is frustrated, she blames you, you will get it in the neck

Has anyone noticed how in a relationship (especially pre-marriage) a woman gets all moody when things are not going according to her plan?

Very few women possess the graciousness and understanding to clearly articulate what they want and at the same time equally and realistically consider the man’ position and wholeheartedly work with it.

(Single men, these are the ones you should be looking to marry – having made yourselves worthy – all the others are simply not worth the effort. They are either not right, or not ready – at least at that point – so simply pass them over. In some cases, she may be a “bit short” but moving in the right direction. You can be patient if you have the time or even work with them if they are close, but queue them accordingly, while you continue to search for the prize.)

2. All you’ve written is one long narrative of trying to win her over. To do what she wants to make her happy. Please stop it.


Good news;
Althoughyou have 2 problems, there is the one fix. Put your cojonés back on display. Establish your frame of reference as a man and stick to it – regardless of her mood, her anger, her rude utterances, her general bad behaviour.

Let me give you an example; The check-in business, it went all wrong and “you apologised” and you “asked her” what she would have you do. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

You are a man, always take charge of such situations unless you have a prior agreement. The reason she took charge is because she didn’t see you as man enough. It’s also why she couldn’t answer your question – the answer to which is “be a man”.

Once she realises that you are immovable, she will shape up. It will in all likelihood not be a quick fix, but there is no reason why you shouldn’t see early improvement – and possibly some resitance as she tries to re-assert herself. Do not waver. It is the best way to turn your marriage into what you desire. And I wrote assuming you want to keep your home.

And please, stick a bun in her oven quick time


Hope this helps.


TV

Shirley07:
The annoying part is the commandment by Paul wasn't even sanctioned by Christ.
Infact, 1 cor 7:25 & 40 opened my eyes to how Paul made some decisions by himself which weren't led by the Holy Spirit. No wonder he often contradicts himself but I don't blame him, he's human afterall.
However, what annoys me is when shitheads like TV01 and his accomplice start to spout gibberish without that plumeled part of their cerebrum able to decipher love itself is a submissive act and Paul's directiveness/commandments was led by the flesh/common reasoning and not given by the holy spirit.
As a matter of fact, love equate submission. You can't love without being submissive to that very person. When Christ says 'love your neighbour as yourself', how much more is your wife/husband who's your bone of bone and with whom you've become one with?
In other words, if every pastors out there preaches about love and treating one another as you want to be treated, all this form of strife and selfishness wouldn't exist in christian marriages. But, what they talk about is submission and submission of the wives only, forgetting that love equate submission. Hence, a husband ought to submit to his wife too, if he truly loves her.
It's a shame the blind have been leading the blinds since Paul's days...

We can treat you fumble about love = submission later .

First, please tell us how God allowed Pauls epistles (which you claim as below) to be included in the canon of holy scripture. Did God make a mistake or plan to mislead us?

Shirley07:
And those letters of Paul were one show of horror, ought to be locked up in a pit of hell. I'm sure he was the one James and John advised the children of God not to listen to.

Feminianity - "for when you love a little rebellion with your Christianity, and know that Jesus was just a really sweet guy"


TV

red101:
You don't make any sense here. This is a choice that is not forced on anyone. So I don't understand why you are typing long pointless essay and giving yourself unnecessary headache. How did birth control pills impact health care provision? isn't the cost of paid maternity leave also borne somewhere? Please try to think logically. Women are making the choice to post-pone child birth. This is a trend that is not going anywhere as long as life expectancy continues to rise. Age of first marriage is also rising so this suggests that this is a choice men are also making. if men and women are marrying at a later age, isn't it logical that they will also have children at later ages and therefore creating need for fertility treatments?
you making a condescending comment that you "care" about women's bodies more than women themselves makes you look like a fool. Many of the women who are undergoing these procedures have supportive, educated and enlightened husbands. If you don't agree with it, no one is forcing you to marry and post-pone child birth. It's a matter of choice and women are allowed to have choice. they can marry early, marry late, focus on career, become housewives or whatever.men can also do the same. it is a matter of CHOICE.

abeg focus on your own health and stop starving yourself over women's reproductive rights issues. go and eat your food.

Your first post suggested there was not much there - this one confirms it. You couldn't respond to a single point and went on an unintelligible rant. Increased life expectancy is driving later marriage


TV

GSKing:
You had to quote me, you ret@rd.

Says an inverterate degenerate.

GSKing:
I do not desire to have children, it is not my dream. I have better things to desire instead of some lousy things like kids!

So because your perversion is distinctly at odds with your make-up (which screams children) you would denigrate kids and blaspheme God rather than seek healing and peace.

GSKing:
Please tell, is God mentioned in the Quran? Maybe its the wiccan books, or Buddha's palm, maybe the Satanic books, or Eck book, maybe its my head, or your watery skull always spoiling for a fight, trying to fight on behalf of God, which makes you type first before you think.

The OP did not mention the bible and your assumption or opinon are of no greater weight than his. Further, his opinion does not give you the right to respond as you did.

GSKing:
Are you fück.ing kidding me?

No because you are a gay-homosexual, and no because you are in the throes of self-deception.

I guess having a few amoral twats like your post made you feel somewhat better. But it won't effect the healing you need.


TV

GSKing:
keep talking about what God and the bible said.

I don't believe OP mentioned the Bible?

The OP was merely stating an opinion. But the fact is there is a biological imperative for women to want children and they are physically and functionally equipped to do so. And finally, OP is not far from the truth, as most - if not all women - want and go on to have chuildren.

By all means have a contrary opinion - you have every right to have one - but why get moody? Or is that frustrated broodiness !


TV

blueberryp:
TV am waiting for the thread on how to spot the right one

- I said book! There'll be a special signed copy for you.

TV01:
I'll tell you this;
Marry the right person, and you won't even have to discuss most things - and most of the issues that seem to blight marriages these days won't ever crop up, let alone become issues. And the issues you do have will only rarely be character/behavioural.
Foundation! Foundation!! Foundation!!!
TV
^{**How to find that person is the subject of my forthcoming book **}

maclatunji:
Really?

Really.

If you have any questions I'm available on a consult basis. If you have any comments, I'm keen to hear them.


TV

Stillfire:
All of this stems from old roots where women had to compete among themselves, enhancing their manipulative skills to garner favors from men.

...it's a good thing we've put a stop to that!

https://persephonemagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/shirley-temple-giggles.gif


TV

bennyrazz:
Its good to know that few women like aisha2 understand some men like me don't cheat. Nevertheless, Do you know why some men cheat? they have very high libidos. some of them see it as pills, they take one short one. in the morning and they take a long one when they get back home. Now imagine when their wives are in that period of the month? no show for them? imagine when their wives are pregnant? imagine when their wives just gave birth? still no serious show? how much more can self service do? not that I'm an advocate of cheating men but i try to understand people both men & women. And I also understand that everyman is responsible for his actions which is a direct result of his thought. For instance, you lock up an hungry man in a house full of all sorts of food and you warn the man not to eat any food otherwise you would kill him, you restricted is movement. Day 1, man didn't touch anything, Day 2, he didn't still touch anything, Day 3, man felt he was going to die if he didn't eat any food, he also remembered that if he eats any food, the owner of the house and food will still kill him. Either he eats or not, he would still die by hunger or by the hands of the owner if the house. Now man made a final decision to eat the food. After eating, owner of the house arrived and opened the closed door. He found out that man had finished almost all the food in the house. He dragged the man outside the house and labelled him a thief. He then told neighbors that the man had eaten all his food and because of that he had to die. so the owner of the house killed the man he labelled "thief". Now let us ask ourselves, is the owner of the house fair? if God have blessed you with what i call "mild libido" thank your God. And for those that God blessed with low libido, they have sex maybe once in two months.

Citing high libido as an excuse for men cheating is no different from using high desire (covetousness) as a reaosn to steal, or rage to justify violence.

Men are to control their passions, not the other way round.


TV

red101:
I certainly would especially if offered to me for free. It's a form of insurance. Most women plan to give birth in their prime years but sometimes life happens. we may not find the right partner on time or we may not be financially ready. In fact, some women may already have a child but when they turn 35+ they want another child but can't. In that case, they can use the frozen eggs to conceive another child. there are many possibilities.

Really?

This procedure – vitrification - is currently around a min of £5’000 per cycle, but will probably come down with technological efficiencies and more widespread commercialisation.

Even if it is “free” to end-users, there is a cost that has to be bourn somewhere. How will companies feel if they have to provide this kind of healthcare for women? How will it affect companies that simply can’t afford to provide it or remain competitive if they don’t?

What if it’s state funded, how will that impact healthcare provision? Presumably after unfreezing/defrosting, IVF will still be required to bring about conception?

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/oct/23/nhs-fertility-treatment-ivf-cuts-nice-ccgs
http://www.theguardian.com/money/2014/may/10/ivf-nhs-fertility-postcode-lottery-cut-costs

Do you know the failure rate of this procedure is close to 80% for women age 30? And close to 90% for women age 40? Do you have an idea of the number of “live births” we’ve actually had worldwide by this technique? .Did you know that some of the chemicals used are harmful to embryos of which the egg will eventually form a part?

I’ll spare you the horrors of the actual procedure to “harvest” viable eggs, or the unknowns/concerns about the actual health of babies born this way. Anyone interested may care too look into this further.

My point of writing – as ever – is to draw attention to the fact that families (men, women & children), and society as a whole flourish best when we consider and act on biological and social imperatives that ensure there’s a balance between considering them individually and as a whole.

I love my women and I am truly astonished that some actually believe that;

- “Careers” can be as or more important than marriage & children (if marriage & children are indeed a desire), and the natural fertility window should be ignored or manipulated in order to ”have it all”
- That termination of pregnancies for any reason and at any time – when one abortion increases the risk of serious pathology by as much as 50% - is good – both morally and for their health.
- That dosing on chemicals/hormones and wreaking havoc on natural fertility cycles to avoid “unwanted pregnancies” is good for you and an absolute necessity.

More astonished, as all these are sold to you under the guise “reproductive health”, “choice” and “empowerment”, when apart from wreaking havoc on your bodies and often peddling false hope, one of the things it does is allows men to enjoy their lusts without consequence – I’d call that abuse & exploitation.

And most astonished because I doubt that very few men would put themselves through any of that if the positions were reversed – and especially not for women – I certainly wouldn’t.


TV

**I’m hungry **

5minsmadness:
What actually makes a good marriage? What is the key factor?

I'll tell you this;

Marry the right person, and you won't even have to discuss most things - and most of the issues that seem to blight marriages these days won't ever crop up, let alone become issues. And the issues you do have will only rarely be character/behavioural.

Foundation! Foundation!! Foundation!!!


TV

^{**How to find that person is the subject of my forthcoming book **}

Isn't this is a little misleading?

The exchange rate between currencies is not the sole indicator of their relative strengths or purchasing power.

The Korean Won is on the list - a strong currency.

1 Japanese Yen equals 0.0093 US Dollar
1 Japanese Yen equals 1.54 Nigerian Naira
1 Japanese Yen equals 9.82 South Korean Won

It's also about how a country denominates it's currency


TV

deltateam:
I want women who are married to faithful men to come on board and tell their fellow women that we still have wonderful men.

Good idea, but the below...

bennyrazz:
how are you so sure your Dad never cheated on your mum?

...can be asked of anyone ...

bennyrazz:
"you can only speak/vouch for yourself" when it comes to some certain issues.

...so the above is probably somewhat better.

Faithful and happy husband here !


TV

zboyd:
It is common to hear married women discussing among themselves

Zboyd,
Your posts are always polarising?

Both spouses can be the casue in part or whole of the others intransigence. But each should take responsibility for their choices, responses and behaviours.

What?


TV

Ilovenigeria:
I am not being tribalistic here

You are.
And it's almost unheard of on the family board.

Please take this as an appeal.


TV

SirShymex:
- TV01 quoted me and asserted that I was contradicting myself.

- Then I replied with my position that you can have "submission" in a relationship, without your partner necessarily being "submissive." He got it, and moved on

You don't know for sure what message "I got".

Guys, by all means challenge - and even needle - one another, but mindless invective for it's own sake is unbecoming and not typically a feature of this board.


TV

pickabeau1:
just a question

Who determines who the best of advisers are and who the trolls are?

based on likes

It should hopefully not matter. Volunteering helps cut it down, and with a decent sized panel, there should be a plurality of advice.


TV

It's not hard.

As noted every situation is unique. But what is the same is that every couple should be transparent about their future plans and ambitions beforehand, agree and crystalise (or end it there) a unified whole for their union, and then enter into marriage with the readiness to sacrifice and be flexible if need be.

**closes thread**


TV

cococandy:

My point is that if it's a free for all,it wil be hard to keep on track. So, the First 6 volunteers - or however many it's decided the panel should consist of - will take the case.

...lets see how it goes.


TV

Busybody2:
There are many posters in this section whose sole existence & validation is living for the pats they get on the back, so it should be a free for all thingy...

cococandy:
I'm with him.
Why should there be a set of formal advisers?that's basically saying everyone else is shut out from trying to help.
Besides even the best of advisers on this forum have their 'not so good' days.
Same as the trolls have their amazingly sensible days.
If the couple can't sift chaff from wheat?
Tough luck I say.

I meant a different panel of how ever many for each individual issue.

If it's open season for contributions, how is it any different from what normally obtains?


TV

maclatunji:
I am actually not thinking of having a formal set of advisers. I am hoping that bad advisers will get shamed into silence by reactions to their posts. I am neck-deep in too many formal arrangements and with this idea I am not even going to try to make anything formal.

Be prepared for derailments, threads to mutate all over the place and large servings of beef - you have bben warned - no order = chaos!


TV

cococandy:
How many folks have spouses on NL?
And where they already aren't, how many will agree to become members just because they want to be heard too.
I don't see an arrogant person who abuses their partner having the humility to answer the summons of the other person on a public forum to air their side of the story.


But...
It is still worth the try

Volunteer jo...you have a good head on you.


TV

maclatunji:
I meant complaining spouses not you as an individual.

Gotcha! Apologies, I misunderstood. Thought so.

Let see how it goes - perhaps you should constitute a number of diverse Panels to handle any issues.

Of the Marrieds, I'd suggest one panel as follows;


You can mix it up if you need specific /tailored input


TV

maclatunji:
^{Na u sabi, I love carrying out social experiments} Anything worth doing at all is worth doing well. If you are going to complain, do so with a view to finding genuine solutions is what I say.

I didn't complain - in fact I thought it was a great idea and offered what I thought was an improvement! And I may even consider being part of an appropriately selcted panel for select issues.

freshdude2:
True. But gbeborunism, even if passive, is essential for sanity.

Abi? Comfort Mac in his unease - no man wants even the merest suggestion that he may be a tatafo !

TV

maclatunji:
What do you all think?

Good or bad idea?

It could well turn out to be a great idea/resource.
You may have to selct panels for each unique issue to stop things being dragged allover the place.


TV

^{**it does sound a bit "gbeborun'ish" sha !**}

aisha2:
I may be speaking to myself

You are right.

aisha2:
but if you have some issue with me please state it and get it off your chest

You are wrong. The issue of getting crabby when challenged is yours not mine .

aisha2:
Following me round making condescending statements is just sad. If it fills in a viod in your life then goodluck and enjoy

Following you around ? I don't think I've responded to you for months - are you attention starved !

Like I said, leave it.


TV

pickabeau1:
City are clueless in Europe
They are local champs who dont have a clue

Kompany is now blaming the fact that they had no fans to support them

The more reason they should be in the 2nd or 3rd pot

Unfortunately, they will benefit from the new seeding system where league champs will be in pot 1

I pity Wenger

To be honest I wasn't aware of the "potting" style seeding. Anyhows they were dull. Bayern were quite chilling., Wasn;t it Roma that held City last time out?

TV

aisha2:
No need for this fishing. " Rights" in the context i was clearly stating means that in issues like this spouses agree to disagree and compromise not just stand on what they think they deserve and hold on extremely. Everything that may seem like a problem in marriage can be worked out with proper communication and understanding.
No rights here as i earlier explained means even when you think the name you want is better and your " right" you and your spouse can sit and talk maybe your spouse may want the name based on sentimental reasons eg a grandma who raised them and had a lot of positive influence on them while growing up

I.am talking about sane marriages between sane spouses who know what marriage and compromise means and not those who see it as some sort of competition and power trip.

Quite garbled.
It's not about marriage - and your points on marriage were off-point.

Leave it.


TV