₦airaland Forum

I think you should let your question stay in the romance section, this section is for more mature discussions. As you will become a father very soon ,you can advise your daughter to start having sex by 16. That's my opinion.

@OP I doubt your story but just in case its true. Both of you should sit down and watch lekki wives, watch out for 2 characters Uju and cleo who wanted to use an old billionaire as their ATM. The story doesn't always end well but I wish you Godspeed in your attempt at gold digging. Funny couple

Some people just have whack ideas about gift giving even though her intention may be noble. And she will do herself good by staying away from your mum's cooking domain till she marries your brother. But OP on a lighter note if I were you, I will go the extra mile to draft a timetable for her. This week will be iyan and efo riro, next week na yam porridge, upper week na akamu and akara etc etc. Funny girl.

angel55: Hello peeps. Please I need a help urgently its like I have made a silly mistake why filling my forms. My husband and child filled the b1/b2 under tourism/medical with me it's like am wrong. Please I don't know.
Some help me with an answer. Thanks

You've not made a mistake in my view as everything is under B1/B2 . It bolsters your honesty from the VO point of view, explain yourself better to the VO at your interview.

TokyoBulls: Thanks everyone for all the information shared. PLEASE my wife's EDD is November 18 (we are planning she leaves Nigeria October 3), and we've contacted a hospital/doctor in Houston, Texas. We have paid 100% of hospital bill for normal delivery ($3,100) and I am planning to make 100% of obGyn fees ($1,600) on Monday, August 18. However, w7e were at the US Embassy Office last Monday and our application was refused, but was told we can apply again at any time so I applied the next day, but yet to get an appointment date. I suspect 2 reasons

Question is, what's the experience with Abuja and Lagos? Do I schedule the new appointment in Abuja or come to Lagos? What's your dressing got to do with it?

I think you should be more specific about the questions you were asked by the VO, maybe that will assist us in deciding possible cause of refusal. Changing location without identifying the plausible cause of your initial denial may be a waste of time.

naijamumcarephx: This article by This Day was published Feb 2013.
It should help dismiss some US Visa fears and myths.
US Embassy Outlines Condition for Baby Delivery in the USA

One: Ms. Carol Cox, in an interview with select journalists in Abuja, yesterday disclosed that it would cost at least[b] $60,000 [/b] to have a baby in the USA

Nice article but am I reading right? How many applicants appear at the embassy with a bank statement balance of $60k ? If people can shell out 60k, then why so much hustle for el paso, whmc and mihc on this thread. Lmao

adebayor1490: Its alright Mr. Afterall you have 292,247 votes in 6 local government that you won. Although no one is talking about that. U should stop all those excuses. There is nothing ur people can analyze again. Aregbe won by a wide margin. (101,937) Haba!

Stop distorting the truth, Omisore had 292,000 votes (42% of total votes cast) across 30 local governments, to me thats not a mean feat against an incumbent. This guy really tried, APC had better buckled up, Aregbe seems to be the only one who can retain his seat in APC and before you kill me am not a PDP member. Just stating the facts.

Ujujoan: He claims he has a job, yet he's ALWAYS idle . . . never busy. Always wanting to chat e.t.c Snapping with different cars everyday and claiming they are his.

Ladies listen up, Guys who are busy and well loaded dont have the time to snap with different cars talkless of chatting all day. Its the broke ass niggas who have a poor self esteem and nothing upstairs that try to polish their image by flaunting cars, wristwatches etc. BE WARNED

edoyad: I beg to differ, I remember the hostile treatment given to Nigerian traders there some few years ago in the name of restructuring. You can Google to read reports of those days

Why do blacks hate themselves so much. We need to take a cue from the European union, a Spanish man can relocate to UK and he will be welcome. However the few countries making progress like Ghana and south Africa always allow things to get into their head. Look at how ordinary SA that was traumatized with apartheid keep chasing Zimbabweans and Nigerians, Ghana was also hostile to Nigerian businesses back then.

@Poster....I admire your honesty because you didnt pretend that you aren't tempted by the well loaded suitors. If your instincts tells you this man will come good then i advise you to prayerfully wait for him to get a good Job.

delard1285: Not that am not emotionally and psychological ready to handle her. Anytime i tried to, she will not just admit. Although i dont know what caused the break up between her parent too but can this have effect on her?

Stop making excuses for her its obvious you are the one in love,The broken home has little to do with her attitude its a personal choice. I am very close to many humble and respectful women who grew up in broken and hostile homes but they vowed never to repeat the failures of their parent. Am surprised you wanna wife her despite the fact that she doesnt respect you right now, are you a learner? People hardly change. Follow Aisha's suggestion.

AdeniyiA: Unless such a lady,a product of broken home had an encounter with God nd make a decision not to allow what happened to her parents repeat itself in her own home, the seed of separation which had already been sown will surely germinate in her, reap out of it nd passes along to her children.
I am very sure the lady is closer to her mother than d father, nd i can tell you that d mother is not feeding her with good marriage clues. Don't be blinded by love my friend, if you can't resolve this issue better reconsider your future with her unless u want to confine yourself to a house of commotion..... seriously you won't want to go further, she's better being a second or third wife. I pity her nd whoever marries her

Once again i say this a wrong Conjecture, Many cases abound of disrespectful women who grew up in unbroken homes. Wise people take responsibility for their success or failure. Oprah winfrey and Joyce meyer are examples of women who were sexually abused as kids,did they take that as an excuse to start prostitution? NO but you see many prostitutes using the sexual abuse claim to defend what they do.

So people cannot have their ex number after getting married? Is marriage now some sort of prison? .What if she saves that number with a phony name like "Doctor","Plumber" etc. I suspect there are trust issues that have not been fully dealt with between this couple. They need to sit down and have a meaningful discussion.Op what exactly do you fear? Has she compromised in the past?

SisiOlu: I had my first child in the US. I went on a B1/B2 visa class and said i was going on vacation at the interview because I hadn't thought about going to deliver in the US. Fast forward to this year, I went to renew my 1 year visa and I was denied. I applied this time with my husband who has never traveled to the US but has traveled to South Africa. We told the interviewer we want to go on vacation in September and then to have a baby next year.
The interviewer asked the following questions:
Q: Have you had a valid visa? A: Yes and I showed him my old passport
Q: When did you get married? A: This year gave him specific date
Q: Where do you and your husband work? A: told him
Q: Do you have a child? A: Yes
Q: Why are you not applying for a US visa for him? A: Because he is a US citizen
Q: He requested to see receipts for my first baby's delivery A: I showed him all

Ma'am I may not be able to fully explain the VO's mind but some facts don't connect in your application.

1.When you applied initially, you didn't tell the VO you were going for birthing so it's not on their record that your son is American . You just married this year, were you divorced? VO's don't like shocks and they don't like to be made a fool.

2. You were given a 1 year visa, how come giving birth is an afterthought?. It seems you were pregnant before your interview but intentionally hid that fact.

3. It seemed as if you answered all the questions for your husband that may not sit right with the VO. That makes your husband seem like a dependant hence your entire family may decide to migrate with this visa especially now that you have an American son.

My conclusion is that you sowed doubts in the VO'S mind. If you want to give birth ensure you have all the documents and open up on your medical plans at the embassy don't muddle it up by saying vacation this year and medical next year there is nothing like that. The VO will probably love to see your appointment letter,budget and account statements for the medicals. Cheers

malory84: @Baby mama, just like Phema pointed out, lying does come natural to you. you are giving the VO on the other thread a different story from what you told us here. why did u even have to lie that your single! smh! well I think you should just use the visa for vacation, wear loose clothing, but if they eventually ask you, say the truth. come back, send a mail to the embassy. atlst you have used it for the purpose it was issued.

Something tells me the lady is an intending immigrant hence those lies but in case i am wrong i will like to advice this lady to forget about going to the US for now. She is far gone to be travelling back and forth between the US and Nigeria in the name of vacation . Even if she writes the embassy on her return the probability of her visa being cancelled and banned is high. If i were the lady i will just allow the Visa expire and plan for the future. US no be do or die.

NaetoC the situation you described is an outlier. I think lots of people give objective advise here because they are detached. There are few foolish counsel and a smart reader should be able to discern the difference. So this is not worth the insults you are reeling out.

Babymama123: Hello house, have been reading all day. Thanks all your messages, please have got some questions to ask I was granted USA B1/b2 visa I told them at the embassy I was going for vacation in Houston also am still single. But of a truth I am a married lady and I am going to have my baby. Also after a lot of consideration MIHS seems to be more affordable and cheaper.
Pls do I have to go through Houston before going to Arizona since I declared at the embassy I was going to Houston. Also do I have to declare am pregnant, am due in November and I intend traveling in October, please advise, should I still stick to my vacation n Houston or change my route and say the truth. Thanks.

Do you think it's fun to be deported with a big tummy ? Do you think it's fun to be banned for 10 years for lying? These guys are not dummies o. You either go for your vacation and come back or give birth and risk future denials. Don't use any lie to go through Houston ,at other POE you may be lucky. You have complicated this matter well. what is the proof you wont use medicaid? I now see why some VO and CBP are often angry and bitter.

pickabeau1: YOu are so right! Why is it easy to forgive Paris Hilton but ditch Sydney Daughter-of-who-cares Power game.. this life!

lol,thats life for you nothing is written in black and white. I will even be like "Honey do you have more past secrets to spill?" Kontunu

aisha2: Then I suggest you find someone without a past, everyone has one and sooner or later it does come out.

Madam i am happily married and i am comfortable with everything i know about my spouse's past. And if there are other shady secrets i do not know may she ever remain silent and let me enjoy this marriage as it is right now.

aisha2: Well I respect your choices. Still I prefer i hear it from my Spouse than hear someone else blurt it out one day ignorantly or on purpose.
So what if you married that lady ignorant of her past and some dude comes and says " I once had that lady in a pub while we were both wasted" What would you do?
You tell it to the person you are serious with so he or she can decide if they can deal or cant deal with it, if they cant, toh, good for both of you, if they can, all for the better you start a great, baggage free life with clean closets

Aisha the chances of some dude blurting it out is not up to 20% and off course I would have done an independent check on my spouse before taking things serious. If a girl tells me such stuff, i may never recover but if its Dangote or warren buffet daughter that blurted such past secret out i will seriously look for ways to forgive that past. . So you see its relative.

aisha2: So one should spend the rest of their lives in fear and praying that it doesnt pop up instead of telling the person who sleeps next to them at night and sleeping better?
I prefer to take charge of my life, Everyone has done things they are ashamed of including me, but better to say the truth let it SET YOU FREE than live with a lie and in fear. We say we are a people of faith yet we refuse to practice it choosing what we think is wisdom but really foolishness.

@Aisha2. I respect your view but i think this kind of issue depends on individuals and their temperament. In my own case some past issues are better left unsaid and if you feel like telling me your dirty or gory pasts i will prefer you tell me in a subtle way or better still keep shut . I am smart enough not to ask some questions, I wont ask if i cant deal with the truth but if i ask dont lie to me. A foolish girl once told my friend how she got tipsy and Hot in the club and a guy had her in public,the guy never recovered . I was like what the hell ? . If you have changed and learnt from your past mistakes why give your spouse new burden to carry? How will your past stories help his future?

I hurt easily and in my own case ignorant can be bliss.

beau49: Please explain what you mean by the bolded.

For someone to have matchmaked the girl,its obvious the girl has been on the shelve for a while. Poster said she is older,maybe 35 or close to it. I dont just believe in people snitching,its good the guy answered the question he was asked nothing more.

Tallesty1: Everyone is got a past but not everyone's past is dirty and unclean. The guy is the kinda friend I call enemy.

Read her post well. Her brother met the UK guy by accident they weren't close friends. He is married why should he selfishly destroy the girl's future because of what happened in the past. Besides, the Uk guy didn't ask his brother about the abortions or sexual exposure just her attitude. Who knows what the UK guy wants in her girl? It's good he decided to detach and stay in the background in my view.

I think your brother is very mature and he has a good heart. It will be selfish for him to destroy the girl's breakthrough because of what happened BTW them in the past.

Good enough the UK guy and your brother aren't close they just happened to meet by accident. Even if your brother had spilled the beans this UK guy might have overlooked it for love's sake and make your brother look like a fool. Who told you the UK guy was also a saint in the past?

Everything will be fine as far as you also learn to stop putting your effing nose in matured people's business.

Whichever way MBJ and COOGAR cut and dice this story,@OP your guy's approach was wrong but i will advice you to pick his calls let him know how you feel about the question and move on from there.

If the OP has been putting pressure on her fiance for a big wedding then his approach might be justified. In the absence of that, i would have expected the guy to table his dilemma before her and not telling his better half their "marriage is in her hands" like she is a pest or something? Who knows if the girl sees reason she might settle for a low key wedding while the guy builds their house.

latino2swt: It simply means she felt inferior 2 u. Maybe u r more advanced dan her educationally. It may be dat her level of exposure is not up to yours. It may be that even as a boy, u look beta than her appearance'wise. It may be ur background is far better than hers. It may b dat u've gone to places she is yet to hear of. It may be u r both naturally n artificially better than her. Your personality have overshadowed her. In each of these cases, there is bound 2 b inferiority complex on her neck. Her friends may even worsen d case by tellin her dat u r nt her class/type, that she is wastin her tym being wit u, that she is more or less lyk a maid to u. It's natural. Her self esteem is nt there again. Ur presence do humble her. She was always lyk a prisoner wen with u. More pressure from friend who claim 2 b concerned, she took d bull by d horn. Op, u were nt sensitive. U should av noticed this from d beginnin n talk 2 her dat u r nt after WHAT she is but WHO she is. Additionally, maybe u used 2 form 'bikboi' 4 d gal. Try n maintain a balance in ur ego. And the reason y she cried while tellin u dis is dat within her u r stil d best 4 her bt she can't help continuing in dat prison of inferiority. To her, nature have cheated her. During d period, her thought revolvd around what n why there must b dat big gap btw d two of u. Poor, wicked or dead parents, bad or unconcerned uncles n aunts, her ystrday's mistakes etc. Ur words n action can still turn back d hands of d clock. Bt think b4 u act

Is this not the same guy that made front page for chasing a nairaland girl for 6 months? The boy that a girl told bluntly to back off and was still looking for people to help him beg? This boy must be reading lots of mills and boon. I am speechless.

@OP your girl is speaking womanese, it's their way of spilling bitter truths without hurting your ego. She is trying to say her interest level in you is zero and She wants you to leave her.

Nothing you do can make it work. Don't beg her like this Latino boy, don't even ask her why she is breaking up. Just move on, you will find someone who will appreciate your worth very soon.

Cut him lose, he is either seeing someone or he is not that into you anymore.

@OP

I have been in your shoes so I won't judge you but I need to tell you the truth like a man. Stop acting like a baby and man up, stop calling, stop texting, erase all her memories for now. Not loving you is not her fault we all have the freedom to love anybody. If I am in her shoes I will feel choked and leave you too. Don't hate her for leaving, all of us have been dumped at one time or the other but it helps us mature.

Rejection can be painful but you will get over it. In the future learn to use challenge, get close to girls without choking them or making it too obvious. Let them come to you, don't chase girls. It's better when a girl loves up from the start. You have lost the challenge here already and that's what women love. Stop begging, stop the triple proposal nonsense , girls don't care about such.They only respond to challenge. A wise soldier knows he cant win every battle, he retreats to fight another day. My son, I hope you will heed my word.

@Larade congrats and safe delivery

A quick question to the house: wife is planning to travel to el paso at the middle of 36 weeks, is that too late? At what time do most people travel?. Thanks

egariyi: Pls make online reservation with Intown suites and you will receive instant reservation comfirmation. This is what we used during our visa interview. You will not be asked to pay any money until u arrive there. It's also within your budget compared to other options like Ramada.

thanks for your suggestion

El paso veterans, kindly give your suggestions. How do I make an affordable hotel reservation that we can show at the embassy during interview. I need something not more than $1200 per month. We are travelling by December and the rates I got on booking.com are extremely high. I also contacted his grace lodge just to make reservation and it seems they request payment up front, which I am not comfortable with.

Ladies , you should all take a chill pill, i don't see a big deal when someone compares her experience between 2 hospitals. If truly el paso agents come here to hype their service then kudos to El paso for getting their marketing strategies right , this shouldn't get the MIHS clan angry.

I will rather love to see the MIHS clan telling us why we should use them instead of el paso. It's a faceless forum and it's wrong to blackmail people for sharing their mind, even going to the extent of calling them agents. I rest my case .