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Insufficient Funds
A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!"

"I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad.

"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble."

"What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake."

"I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."

plantain

No Novacaine
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want Novacaine because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way."

The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?"

The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."

A little boy walks into his parent's room, saw his mom on top of

his dad bouncing up and down. the parents stop and his mom

quickly dismount, pulling the covers arund her.

"what were u and dad doing?" d boy asks his mom

" well, ur dad has a big tummy & somtimes i have to get on top of it to help flatten it" she explains

"ur wasting ur time" says d boy

"wen u go shopping d lady next door gets on her knees and blows it right back up"

tnx lohlarh, hw's wrk?

really gud , hw u dey?

d boy never start kg1

Adopted Twins
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.

Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.

Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

Don't Touch Me
An older couple is lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night's sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."

"Why not?" he asks.

She answers back, "Because I'm dead."

The husband says, "What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another."

She says, "No, I'm definitely dead."

He insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?" "Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts."

not at all

aiight yummie, can i av her num?

@segunpc
gbosa! gbosa!! gbosa!!!

thnx

tnx yummie

great, mi luv

i missed my iyale too o

its ok

am cool guy, just too busy dis dayz, tnx

Blood Test
Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly.

2nd Child: Why are you crying?

1st Child: I came here for a blood test.

2nd Child: So? Are you afraid?

1st Child: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.

At this, the second one started crying profusely.

The first one was astonished.

1st Child: Why are you crying now?

2nd Child: I came for a urine test !

toyo, tnx too

oh yummie, tnx, its been a long tym, hope u r ok, missed u n my iyale o,
hope ur hearing form her

lol

no be dem. kuvuki don enter their head

reasons not to mess with children.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a
human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was
very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated,
the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was
physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's
work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked
what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl
replied, 'They will in a minute.'

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and
make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then
said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?!!!'


The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up
and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's
a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the
teacher, she's dead!'


A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying
to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in
the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't empty!'

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE. God
is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was
a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the
apples.'

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honor' thy Father and thy
Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our
brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)
answered, 'Thou shall not kill!'

stupendous inteted, worbish

nonentity

stupidity

ok

tnk u folly, is she with u

lohlarh hw u dey?
pls wat of my iyale o