₦airaland Forum

Henkor:
I came across a post on the homepage regarding the "unnaturalness" of homosexuality. The post was predicated on the assertion that nobody is born gay, and this claim seemed to be well subscribed by lots of the people who viewed the post, despite the fact that majority of the arguments made in favor of this claim emerged from a place of rational muddiness, insufficient knowledge, and weren't put forward in a particularly convincing fashion.

I created this post in order to have a civil and open minded conversation with Mhisbliss, so that I can really understand her position, air my disagreements and see if we can both enlighten ourselves on this slippery subject.

mhisbliss:
Go on

Henkor:
I appreciate the fact that you accepted my invitation.
What do you mean when you say homosexuality is unnatural and what's your criteria for defining a behavior as unnatural?

mhisbliss:
You're welcome.

Firstly I'd love to point it out that unnatural in this case means "Not in accordance with Nature, artificial, typical, abnormal, aberrant, vicarious and freakish.

We were born with sex organs that are designed to complement each other, we're normally wired to be attracted to members of the opposite sex for companionship and reproduction, in a case where an individual start getting attracted to a member of same sex it becomes unnatural.

Maturity from both sides, no insults just mutual respect. This is how I envision Nairaland to be. Kudos everyone

RuthDaniels:
Alright.... For your sake

Thanks dear

donstan18:
Hitting of nerves, triggering emotions, provocative comments are my doings.


It take me nothing to drag out the stupidity and foolishness in people who claim to be nice online


It takes me nothing.

The Don. I know it takes you nothing bro, but just sheathe your sword for now.

You know everyone gets thrown off balance once you enter the ring

EzendiEgo1:


Since I joined this section,I keep wondering why is it that a male nairalander will create a thread only for the creator to see his thread will never cross 2 page comments. But when a Female Nairalander create a thread you will see almost all members on Romance section trooping to her thread Which is very bad.

Check this female thread and see for yourself
https://www.nairaland.com/4025368/friendship-opposite-sex
https://www.nairaland.com/4525068/ride-linda-ikeji-point
And check this male thread
https://www.nairaland.com/4524556/dont-force-time-zone-lessons
https://www.nairaland.com/4525047/things-happen-body-when-stop

And tell me if it is not womanising we are doing on Romance section. After now someone will say they are discussing something.
What's that thing you are discussing in a Female thread you can discuss on male thread

This is seriously unfair and disgusting, you guys should change una ways.

I seriously doubt that. Create an interesting topic and see us flooding there like flies to poo

RuthDaniels:
That guy is an irredeemable fool!

He picks up unnecessarily arguments, even when he has nothing to back up his objections. The annoying thing is how he deviate these arguments into fights and the most annoying are his childish insults!

How can someone tell me I didn't clean up cramps in my v from my last period? If that isn't foolishness/ ignorance, what is it?

Donstan18 is synonymous with foolishness jare! The guy shouldn't be taken seriously!

This is not like you. Please stop dear. It doesn't fit you

Another e-war loading. Everyday

IamPlato:
...


I Got The Mail Bro. I Replied...

Ok. I just sent you my mobile number by email. We can chat via phone. Thanks.

IamPlato:
...

Bro happy Sunday. How are you doing! I just sent you a PM

Safiaa:
Well there’s one thing that bothers me.

A lot of women tend to victimised themselves, it’s not right. That whole Twitter trending with the boobs and ass on display. Each to their own, promote your goods if you have to, if that’s the validation you must seek. But don’t cry a river of tears claiming men objectify you, andthey’re no good men around you. You are a representation of yourself, you are addressed how you are dressed. You can’t live the best of both words, it’s life and you have to conform to it. The royals are treated like royals mainly because of the way the present themselves. Do you think if they walked around half naked, they would be treated with such high esteem?

Classy wins to me. You can be sexy without being trashy. Just my opinion.

This from Safiaa

Lovely, you have my respect

You take Nairaland too seriously

Spend sometime offline, have some drinks with friends, go jogging.

EmergencyCase:
I really wish to live but i can't predict what fate has in store. I know there's power in the tongue but the following happenings has made me make this assumption....

I don't take you serious anymore. Your mindset is just too negative for my liking. I wish you whatever you wish yourself

Rickyuzzy:
This ‘culture’ – or better put, traditions – that we have forced upon us in the infancy of our consciousness by thoughtless trading Europeans is not ours any more than the iPhone is a Nigerian invention.

.

Your post is resoundingly brilliant. You made some valid points but you have to realize this is Africa and in particular Nigeria.Acceptance of homosexuality in an african society like our's is an impossible one politically, culturally and religiously. There are loads of strong arguments against this practice. Even I as an unprejudiced individual (having spent years in the west schooling and working) will tell you it will never be accepted in traditional societies like our's. The arguments against are just too much to wipe under the carpet. Some arguments against are as follows:


1. Homosexual relations cannot produce offspring. Splicing your genes with someone you love is a common human desire, and a sexual orientation that precludes the possibility does not make that desire go away. Infertility is only fun when you don’t want to have a child. This can be, and sometimes is, a lifelong source of pain for homosexuals.

2. Adoption processes are slow, expensive, and require a spotless reputation if you want a baby. Adoption, and therefore child-rearing, can be all but impossible for less affluent gays.

3. Children of homosexual parents do not fit societal norms of family structure. They will neither have good, clear models of normal, cisgendered behavior, nor will they have a family structure that resembles that of their peers in school. Children will be forced to explain their unusual family situation in the face of bigotry, prejudice, and ignorance, rather than being allowed to lead a normal childhood protected from the hatred and exclusion of the self-righteously ordinary.

4. The Christian faith does not support this sexual orientation.

5. Our Nigerian culture forbids it

6. Social engagements are built around the heterosexual model. Marriage, dances, romance movies, and even pornography are designed for heterosexual expectations and desires.

7. Homosexuals have higher rates of mental illness and domestic violence than heterosexuals. This is documented, scientific fact. Regardless of whether this is due to perversity of the orientation, or due to abuse habitually sustained at a cultural and interpersonal level by gays, it highlights homosexuality as a risk factor for mental illness and familial violence.

8. Similarly, lesbians are shown to have higher rates of obesity, and a higher incidence of smoking and drug use than heterosexual women, all of which have known health risks.

9.Gay men are shown to be more promiscuous than straights, and the negative health repercussions of that are well-documented.

10. Socially, homosexuals are criminals in many countries. If you are homosexual, you will be harassed for a biological impulse that you cannot change. You may be excluded from friendship, worship, or family. You may be fired from your job, prevented from visiting your lover in hospital, or precluded from inheriting your partner’s property. You may even be beaten or killed for an unalterable fact about yourself. These are all serious disadvantages.

Once again, your post was brilliant but I doubt it'll get a touchdown in a society like our's.

courage2702:
I need practical help to overcome my struggle against the use of prostitutes. I picked up this terrible habit shortly after my graduation from university sometime in 2012 and it is a vice that has wrecked my life. The last success was 13 months without any sexual involvement with any one before i had a sad event in my life that made me go back to my vommit. Any body with practical advice should please come up with it.. yesterday I went down on my knees again to ask him to give me another chance to fix my life for good. But I really need to take practical actions as faith without work is dead
I have an amazing future but this lifestyle may cut it off if don't fight it headlong.

I am 30+ old man that really wish to settle down but not until I quit this habit that has disconnected me from God as well as made my life miserable.
I am from a Christian background.

You will be amazed the amount of men that visit prostitutes. Some are bored with their sex life, some wouldn’t know how to ask their wife for what they were into, some had wives that wouldn’t have sex with them and some of them are very happily married, having regular sex, as you are, so please don’t think you are the only person out there that has this issue.

A prostitute can be a thrilling experience. You can pretty much have your pick of the girls and you could have sex with a girl that in reality, you may not have had the opportunity to. It’s living the dream and the fantasy. It’s also easy for this thrill to become an addiction which sounds like what has happened here.

With a prostitute, you will find no judgement, it’s quick and easy and you may even find that they are able to offer you some gentle therapy and counselling. You throw in the fact that you are pretty much guaranteed an orgasm, including sex that is primarily about your pleasure and whatever turns you on, it’s an explosive situation and that’s why men keep coming back.

With any addiction, whether it be to sex, prostitutes, gambling, drugs etc, you can’t just go quit overnight. Well, you can, but it usually ends badly. You need to wean yourself off what your addiction is and find out the reasons behind it.

See what your triggers are. Do you want to visit a prostitute when you have lots of money in your pocket? Ok that’s a trigger. When you are having a stressful day at work? Ok that’s another trigger. When it’s a Wednesday as you always see that same girl at the same time on a Wednesday? Ok that’s a trigger - Find out when you are most likely to get that urge and record it somewhere private. Find out what is happening in your life and then you can find a way to work around that.

If you visit a prostitute once a week, how about try and go just once every 2 weeks. If you visit a prostitute when you’ve had a bad day at work, how about you reward yourself with another type of treat that doesn’t involve sex, maybe going to see a movie or having a drink after work or taking a drive around town etc.

Slowly replace your trigger points with additional activities and gradually fade out your use of sex workers. If having lots of cash on you makes you go, then try and only use card wherever you can. You could even get another basic bank account and transfer your weekly spending money into that account and give yourself ‘pocket money’ so that you have less to spend on girls.

If you are struggling with the addiction, I would recommend speaking to a therapist as you may have a sex addiction. It’s very common and it is NOTHING to be ashamed of whatsoever. You are not alone in this! This does not have to dominate your life. You clearly want to make a change for the better for yourself and your future relationship, and as simple as this sounds, admitting you have a problem is the first step.

Good luck

Lilisticlili:
Children are blessings from God after marriage yes true but that is a layman understanding because modernised prostitues today under he guised of "slay mamas" have children without marriage but the married ones looks out for it.

So what's the main essence of having children as most people disagrees with it and prefare to live childless.



Happy children day to Lalasticlala amarabae

It is your personal choice whether you want to have one or not. Having a child, just because everyone has it, doesn't work. It is not just a new addition in your life. With a baby, comes a whole new set of responsibilities.[/b] Life would definitely not be the same anymore. Outings and expenditures would have to be worked around your baby. That's not all. [b]At every stage, there is a new set of challenges. When your child is a toddler you may have to run behind her/him to ensure safety, while later on their academic performances and personality development activities will keep you engaged. Basically, the child should be your prime focus.

If you ask my personal opinion, I would say why not. Why not explore the parent in you. After all, living to the full is also about exploring every aspect of life. From being a child to a sibling to a parent, you should live it all. So whenever you feel you are ready, you must have a child.


Let’s use this analogy:

Imagine you live in a nice, comfortable house. It has everything you need, is large enough and you have no desire to move elsewhere. You love your house and wouldn't mind spending the rest of your life at the same address.
There's one room in the house that's always locked. You've never used it and you don't foresee the need to use it. So you keep it locked forever.

You don't know what's behind that door. Your house is perfect just the way it is. You don't feel the need to open that door ever. You live happily in your house, blissfully unaware of what's in that locked room.

Let's say one day you do decide to open that door. You're uncertain - is this the right decision? Will it make my perfect house imperfect? What greets you behind that door blows your mind away. Is this for real? You lived in this house all these years with this perfect room that you never explored. You love the room. It seems the room loves you too.

You love spending each moment at home in that room you never explored, the room you never knew existed. You experience new feelings with an intensity that's beyond what you've ever felt before. That room becomes the most important room in the house.

The experience of having a child is somewhat similar. If you don't have one, you have no idea what you're missing. No one can “explain” the feeling of being a parent. You know it only when you have a child. Since you don't know what you're missing, you won't miss it.

But if you have a child, a whole new world opens up to you. You're so glad you opened that door. Once opened it can never be undone. Once you've experienced what it's like to have a child, you'll realize no other love can compare.

My 2 cents

I just received a message from Mount Olympus: It says YOU WILL NEVER WALK ALONE

mhisbliss:
I'm only having fun don't mind me, and sorry about yesterday, didn't mean that

No worries dear. I can't stay mad at you

mhisbliss:
Lmao, I'll mingle with your happily married husband next, i wonder how a dumb slowpoke like you became a nurse, what do you nurse, your baby?

You're a confused hypocrite as you're always contradicting yourself, i aired my opinion and you attacked me with that aggressiveness that can only be seen in a bitter marriage, the way you stress this happily married thing gives me the impression that you're not even happily married per say, [color=#990000]the fake lifestyle you live on nairaland is not even enviable, its just a lie you biult to escape the sad reality you're living, i strive to be independent like linda not to end up an auxiliary nurse whose only job is trying very hard to score cheap likes on nairaland everyday like a full time career, a nurse on nairaland 24hrs a day, 7days a week, mama bomboy [/color]

mhisbliss:
Just because you're in a haste to reply like a disgruntled market woman I'm happily mallied, Then you try hard to insist on the phrase "cute son" I'm not seeing the cute son anywhere so I'll just chill. Lastly i have a family as well, my actual family not an dopted one, [color=#000099]I'm young and impressionable, my life is still at its peak, it hasn't ended like yours, so its not late for me to be powerful and independent, but its late for you already, so you can use hahahaha again and again, i can see through your painment and its too much for the baby you're breast feeding if theres one, lastly I'd like to know where you do your nursing [/color]

OH LAWD HAVE MERCY

TSOM:
I saw what you did there, man. You edited the post so Cocôcandy and Truckpushér would get the mentions and these would spiral downwards to a full-blown e-war and , maybe, a scandal-revealing thread.

It is what it is. Old story.

I just re-edited the post. I actually wanted them to come refute or corroborate the story

Just shocked this is the lady lots of Nairalanders take as a role model

Like donstan18 said earlier, this forum reeks of hypocrisy. I take nobody serious anymore.

donstan18:
I pity people who fall for social media preaching, Mr nice man, Mrs/miss decent woman.

Lots of these people are beast in reality, they do a lot of abominable things.

How can a Nairaland self acclaimed nurse create a thread to dish advice on sex abstinence https://www.nairaland.com/4049350/sexual-abstinence-still-remain-best

Then returned to support a lady who got pregnant out of wedlock, what manner of foolishness and stupidity can supersedes such self contradiction.

A married woman who should advice the single and young ones on how to live a moral life ecided to advocate for pregnancy out of wedlock. A married woman who should give the single ladies reason to get married decided to look stupid and less-experienced than the single ones. A married woman who should be on family section decided to go around politics section fight and screaming Afonja and Igbo, fighting and brawling on romance section even at late hours.

This is bad and a big disgrace to married women out there.


A self acclaimed nurse who said having sex without condom after STDS test is protection.

I still stand with this.


People who portray to be good and decent online are the dump and foolish ones in reality.

I couldn't have said it any better

TSOM:
We've seen a gazillion of her ilk on Nairaland for years- the supposedly happily married ones who throw it in people's faces without being asked.[/b]

The examples abound; from the Mr and Mrs Siena (who were later exposed as living a lie and not even legally married) to BabyOsisi (the U.S-based happily married feminist doctor who was later exposed as being caught up in a scam marriage-for-green-card scandal, divorced and not even a doctor!) to the happily married women of the Family Section who slept with Cogar and his gang (while married) and deactivated when caught, to [b]Cocôcandy who was exposed by Truckpoosher...

Gerrard59:
Mbok, when and which thread did the coloured happen?

TSOM:
Old story, man. [b]Happened in 2015 when he exposed her past as a female of the red light district and detailed accounts of pregnancy terminations back in Imo State.

She couldn't refute the claims.

P.S: That e-mail address isn't functional. I'd have to change to a new one.[/b]

WOW, JUST WOW

Elder001:
A LADY DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A FEMINIST FOR SHE TO BE INDEPENDENT.

Hello Y'all.
Recently I saw a thread ,when I opened the thread I saw some people saying :Nigerian men hate feminists but they forget the good things they crave for comes with feminism ".

Now let's talk about the ignorance some people have on that matter. A woman doesn't have to be be a feminist before she can be independent. Independence is something every sensible woman is suppose to crave for.

Feminism is all about equal opportunities for both genders not financial independence. The founders of the feminism ideology didn't include financial independence in their cause" .Financial independence for ladies is another topic entirely on it's own.

Feminism is the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.

Feminist movements have campaigned and continue to campaign for women's rights, including the right to vote, to hold public office, to work, to earn fair wages or equal pay, to own property, to receive education, to enter contracts, to have equal rights within marriage, and to have maternity leave. Feminists have also worked to ensure access to legal abortions and social integration, and to protect women and girls from rape, sexual harassment, and domestic violence and not independence because that's a different topic on it's own.



So a man can hate feminism and still want an independent wife.

about 75% of the American female population are independent.. who's gonna tell me they're all feminists?
The number of feminists among them aren't more than 15% even if more people support the ideology because there's difference between someone who's supporting something and someone who's practising the thing.


Y'all should stop spilling your ignorance everywhere okay.
Men can hate feminism and still crave for Independent ladies because financial independence has nothing to do with feminism.

Your post makes a whole lot of sense.

I see contradictions everywhere:

https://www.nairaland.com/4049350/sexual-abstinence-still-remain-best

https://www.nairaland.com/4525068/ride-linda-ikeji-point/1

Sex without condoms will always be termed unprotected sex even if you both had tests with negative results for STDs or HIV.

Here's how long it takes after exposure before you can get a reliable test result:

2 weeks: gonorrhea and chlamydia (and a pregnancy test too!)

1 week to 3 months: syphilis.

6 weeks to 3 months: HIV, hepatitis C and B.

Your post holds no water. Sorry

CAPSLOCKED:

THEY'RE COMING TO TELL YOU THAT YOU COPIED FROM WIKIPEDIA.


BUT... ABOUT THE LAST PART. WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO LOSE BY ASKING A MAN OUT, THAT A MAN DOESN'T HAVE TO LOSE BY ASKING A WOMAN OUT?

Sadly, in our society she risks been called CHEAP, WASHED UP, EVENING NEWSPAPER and other derogatory names.

Double standards bro, double standards

CAPSLOCKED:

UDUJ, SEE THIS OLODO GIRL O.. THINKING SHE'S MAKING SENSE.

MOST MEN HARDLY SAY NO BECAUSE WE KNOW HOW BAD REJECTION FEELS. WE'VE BEEN THROUGH IT FOR THE MOST PART OF LIVES, AND BECAUSE WE'VE GOT BIGGER HEARTS THAT CARE, WE DON'T WANT YOU FEMALES TO EVER GO THROUGH WHAT WE GO THROUGH IN YOUR OWN HANDS.

ACCEPTING YOUR PROPOSALS (WHEN WE DON'T LIKE YOU) DOESN'T MEAN WE SERIOUSLY WANT TO FUCC.... WE JUST WANT YOU TO FEEL COMFORTABLE, THEN WE TRY TO AVOID YOU GRADUALLY UNTIL YOU LOSE INTEREST.
(REJECT A GIRL ONE TIME AND SEE HOW SHE'LL STARVE HERSELF AND CRY FOR MANY MONTHS, EVEN THOUGH SHE'S BEEN REJECTING MEN ALL HER LIFE).

WE DO THIS EVERYTIME BECAUSE WE DON'T LIKE FEMALES GOING THROUGH ANY FORMS OF PAIN... ONLY SMILES AND HAPPINESS.
SAME WAY WE THROW FALSE COMPLIMENTS AND TELL YOU HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU LOOK... EVEN WHEN YOU LOOK LIKE A COMB.

She was making some sense up to the point where she said They are too cheap to say No. That last statement simply negated every point she made.

I see no reason why women should not ask a guy they fancy out. I have personally experienced that thrice and it doesn't belittle or make them any less of a woman.

A few women do ask men out. But overall I think the assessment is still correct that in the large majority of the cases, the man is the one to ask.

There are strong historical reasons for this (women are valued for being meek, bashful virgins; men are valued for being aggressive, strong pursuers). But it doesn't change (much) because, regardless of the answer, the woman loses.

Men generally have a lower bar for accepting dates or sex. Think about what this means for a second.

Rejection hurts more. If a woman asks a man out and gets rejected (and he is in fact single), then that means that she couldn't even pass a fairly low bar of interest. How ugly / boring is she, that the guy wouldn't even say yes?

Accepting means less. If a woman asks a man out and he says yes, then, well, what does that really say? Is he actually interested in her? She doesn't know. She can't tell if a guy is actually interested or if he's just not extremely uninterested.

A woman has a lot to lose and little to gain by asking a man out. A woman is better off subtly communicating her interest in the man (through friends, flirtation, etc) and then leaving it to the man to make a move.

Tolubory:
Just wait till you turn 40
then you will know the difference between black and white
you will look 40 while your wife will look like 60

Very very true.

BluntTheApostle:
Genes linked to homosexuality have been discovered by scientists in the biggest ever study into the genetic basis for sexual orientation.

For the first time, researchers looked at the complete genome - a person’s entire DNA code - for more than 1,000 gay men and compared it to genetic data from a similar number of heterosexual males.

They discovered that DNA was different for gay and straight men around the genes SLITRK5 and SLITRK6.

SLITRK6 is an important gene for brain development, and is particularly active in a region of the brain which includes the hypothalamus.

The hypothalamus is crucial for producing the hormones which control sex drive, and previous studies have shown parts of it are...

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2017/12/07/genes-linked-homosexuality-discovered-scientists/

I read this article sometime back, but I am still not convinced.

Trying to prove that homosexuality has a significant genetic basis is very hard. The burden of proof is on those who wish to claim that it is genetic.

Most of the studies of genetic basis (of anything) are not randomized controlled trials (RCT). They are observational studies that simply look for correlations. Such studies are a much weaker form of evidence than RCTs.

Moreover, correlation does not necessarily imply causation.

mhisbliss:
I don't mean it that way, i just want you to summarize your points, sorry you felt insulted

No worries. I quite understand how heated discussions like this could cause an adrenaline rush

RuthDaniels:
You are welcome,You deserve it

Same here my king .I thought someone has taken my place ....... I'm good, You?

Yes it's Friday ! Finally . Do you club?

My precious . I'm good. Just hanging out with some work colleagues at Sailors Lounge.

I don't club cause it's never really been my thing. So how was your day?

braimeddy:
I will agreed with him especially where he said no nasty smell.

Both sexes are confused