₦airaland Forum

AryaSand:
Having babies.
The whole process is Scary and Traumatising. I've seen photos and videos and I don't think I want to go through it. I feel like if I do go through with it, I'm probably going to hate that child
It is like the major reason I sabotage all my relationships, whenever we start getting serious like this, i stop talking to them. I abandon them in the relationship and move on with my life.

I used to have same thoughts but today, I'm an overcomer with two children via Vaginal birth..
And u know what only you can help yourself, yes the process is extremely painful but the koy they bring afterwards is immeasurable, but please of you must do, have great financial plans before venturing into child rearing oo also it' isn't a must u birth one via V. B ELECTIVE C. S IS LESS PAINFUL compared to V. B

taylor89:
Another man fvcking my wife


To my future wife out there please and please if u know you'll tag me an animal for laying hands on you don't do these Four below


1. Don't cheat (even if I cheat don't cheat back it's a set up because i go beat u before sending u packing

2. No matter what happens between us don't yell at me outside (u can do to me whatever you wish indoor even beat me I no go talk since na me dey at fault but don't do it outside

3. This one is the most important one, DONT COME BETWEEN ME AND MY PARENTS/SIBLINGS, they all went through hell for me probably when you were busy fvcking another guy(your then boyfriend) so when it's time to reap what they sowed u Better don't try to stop it because I'll stop you first

4. READ THE NO. 3 AGAIN I CAN EVEN KILL FOR NUMBER 3

If she can keep to this three then I'm ready

Potential wife beater and killer... If I were her, I will kill u and damn the consequences....

Whatever rocks or sinks your boat, however I moderation is key, even if you have to show off, apply common sense and it mustnt be all the time

mzBEAM:
Google is your friend sis

Please summarize for me, if I wanted to ask Google I would have.

mzBEAM:
Dunamis people

Abeg enlighten me small... Who be Dunamis?

Walewestt:
Hey homie, that's African parents for you huh, my dad always compared me with a certain family friend that always came first in every class while I managed third at the most, now we are much older and out of the uni, she came out with first class again, while me the regular 2:2, but life always have a way of sorting things out, I'm extra intelligent, smart and I'm already established at 25, even own my own home but she's somewhere teaching for 15k, now I show him the distance with us and he realizes he's mistake but still cant change the fact that the comparism created a certain hatred in me that isnt suppose to be there, best I can do is never do such to my kids, always boost their ego no matter what !!!!
Hope this helps honey ! Stop sounding Like a girl and try to do most thing on your own as well.

Hmmmm.. How do you know she's being paid 15k...monitoring spirits

exstreve:
Forget the house, the car and the 60m...

Tacha is far more liked than any housemate ever in the history of the show...

before you think I'm a fan of tacha, I've never even in my life watched bbn and don't support any of the hoes....

Tacha is the only housemate that trends everyday on Twitter with over 50k tweets, no celebrity in Nigeria apart from wizkid can do that, I'm just saying things the way they are.....

See your mouth as if ULL choose likeness over money......

Silver and gold I have none, but it's my prayer that u find strength in your tlmes of weaknesses

Lol

FloraEC:
Is well, please don't self medicate again
How is she now?
Good morning

Goodmorning Sis and happy Sunday to u...

So the malaria parasite test result came out ++

She's under treatment now and responding positively to it...

I never ever believed she could still test + to malaria after using different drugs..... Imagine this...

FloraEC:
Waow , self medication is one of the topic we keep fighting against on this thread especially on children. How can you administer antimalarial drugs twice, who prescribed it for you? What if is not malaria? Hospital should have been your first call and you've not yet taken her yet to the hospital and you want us to tell you home remedy. Like seriously, home remedy, we should tell you home remedy for a sick child.
Yes, I'm angry with you. The money you used for all the drugs would've been used for test and treatment. Please take that child to a general hospital, maternal and child in Festac is not even costly, that's the hospital I use.
Please

We went to the general hospital at ijebuode, and funny enough the laboratory, card attendants room were under locks and keys, only for us to enquire from the security and he said, they work only from Monday to Friday and that saturday to Sundays are for emergency purposes, we have left there and presently at the laboratory waiting for the test results.... After which we will take it to the hospital...
Thanks so Much for your concern and advice..... I aporeciate

comtem2011:
It's well sis, try and take her to a government hospital, their service is a bit cheaper. Let them run a test on her and give u prescription rather than self medicating. The little you have been spending on self medication can take care of her test.
God will lay His healing hands on her.

Thanks ma... We will do that.

Thank you guys.... We will do just that.

Good morning forumites, sorry for bothering you with my plights and problems....

Today is my Daughter's 4th birthday, but I'm not happy because she's been sick and has emaciated a whole lot....(please say a prayer for her..)

3 weeks ago whem this feverish condition started, we started self medication on her( I. E)
Gave her a malaria drug and also cefuroxime (antibiotics) on her, we saw it had no effect on her, then we used another anti - malaria thinking the previous one wasn't effective,after completing her dosage, we taught she was feeling better cos for 5 days she was no longer experiencing fever, general body weakness etc, only for it to resurface on the 6th day, we would have taken her to the hospital but there is presently nothing on us, please what other home remedies can we use on her because I believe there is presently on this forum who has had this kind of experience...

Thanks in anticipation of your response

Good morning forumites, sorry for bothering you with my plights and problems....

Today is my Daughter's 4th birthday, but I'm not happy because she's been sick and has emaciated a whole lot....(please say a prayer for her..)

3 weeks ago whem this feverish condition started, we started self medication on her( I. E)
Gave her a malaria drug and also cefuroxime (antibiotics) on her, we saw it had no effect on her, then we used another anti - malaria thinking the previous one wasn't effective,after completing her dosage, we taught she was feeling better cos for 5 days she was no longer experiencing fever, general body weakness etc, only for it to resurface on the 6th day, we would have taken her to the hospital but there is presently nothing on us, please what other home remedies can we use on her because I believe there is presently on this forum who has had this kind of experience...

Thanks in anticipation of your response

bukatyne:
I wish you were right.

ANY woman who wants to leave an abusive marriage will do so with or without a job.

Quote me anywhere.

So why do u think she doesn't want to leave?

Rubbiish:
Lolss
I thought it was something serious lol
If u ask me i honestly do not see any problem here...this is a sweet marriage. I swear
I think d little issue here is d manner of communication & expression. If u are telling him to assist u in a commanding and condescending tone he may try resisting it. I told my sisters d greatest tool a woman can use to bring down a is whatever u do should be in a submissive Manner, the man will just melt, but many women don't know this. It is working for them perfectly in their marriage.

I think u should express it as peaceful and calm as possible. Honestly we shouldn't view marriage as a trade by barter system, saying if u do this he must do that is likely to affect the happiness in that marriage, likewise for him. If not for anything at least for the kids, just view everything u are doing is for d kids. Couples really don't know the joy children feel when they see their parents living happily together, money can't buy that happiness for them.

URE actually right my brother, may God continue to help us.

Rubbiish:
I don't believe he does nothing to assist his family. As a man there must be certain things he is doing to help the family

He plays his fatherly roles, pays the house rent, school fees, utility bills, feeds the fam. 60%
I pay shop rent, buy the children clothes, provisions etc... He earns *5 of what I earn.

My own is, at any point u cant perform your role, don't expect I do mine, if I at least can't do it, then do it... Just like tonight he didn't drop money for dinner, why not cook the food if u can't.... �

Rubbiish:
Nice one @bold
Please let d church mind continue o biko
But what if he is truly short of cash presently?
Wasn't he dropping cash before now?
These are things women should consider
No man will deliberately want to starve his wife & children...None
Often times it is due to situation beyond our control. Please erase the thought of starving him from your mind, so u don't push him into d arms of another woman. There are other ways to address it.

He is genuinely short of cash for real,

And I'm short of strength, aid me where necessary during house chores session,mbanuu he will not,...

And since he will not help me, don't tell me how to do it, it's simple...

budaatum:
No. I am not a SS child

There is absolutely nothing untoward the matter with me apart from my being 13 years old and 7 years seems like forever!

So why do u feel or think u may not live up to 20 years

olabrinks:
I feel your pain love. It’s not just easy to get up and leave or take a break. Nigerian economy makes it so difficult for women to survive on their own with kids. Your husband needs to start helping you one way or the other. It’s very unfair on you honestly. If you have communicated with him about this issue and he is not willing to change, then please just focus on your kids and your well being. You will surely have the last laugh your hard work will not be in vain.

.

Of course he Is not willing to yield which I have accepted as my own cross, my own is, if he is not ready to help with the chores, or help out with the kids, then he should fucking stop telling me how to do the chores and handle the kids respectively ....

Rubbiish:
U think the best way to go about it is to starve him? Hehehe

Why didn't he drop money for dinner, as usual the answer is I'm broke..

Neways he ate dinner tonight oo after using my church mind.

frozen70g:
My dear, just do the ones you can do

When they are tensed, they go out and flex and relive themselves

But women, we endure when we are tensed and still face home challenges

They need your financial support at home yet won't help you with domestic work

The moment they can't access your money, they will regard you as being being stubborn just because you are making money

Watch those men that assist their wives at home, they enjoy their wives money more than anybody

The men are full of tricks, if they want to do any project, they will involve the woman and seek her opinion just because 80% of the money is coming from the woman but once a woman has nothing financial to contribute, they will just be informing you of the project and you won't be part of the ideas needed

They just want their wives to be mugu so that they can have their ways in every sides

Women, just be wise as serpent

Did u just say only stubborn, not just stubborn they will also term u as proud and paint the picture of only them footing the house bills to their family, the last time we had an arguement in front of his younger sister, I made her sister realize, he is not the only one responsible for all the assets in the home, he just went inside and started tagging me pride amongst other things...

My dear working, running the house chores with the responsibility of taking care of 2 children ain't easy, sometimes I just want to take a break from the house and ease of the pressure I feel everyday but I can't leave my children

Rubbiish:
@bold why we?
Simply say there is no dinner for your husband
Your children will eat and i am certain u will also eat. Often times u women are responsible for d cracks in your home

What rubbish crack, each time he doesn't drop money to feed, u expect me to use my common sense to support but u will never help me with the house chores with exception to making only Eba dats if I beg u sef

budaatum:
I used to think I'd never live to be 20 years old.
One day though, I just might get there.

Are u an SS child?

frozen70g:
Exactly, only few men understands that mother's need social help

Do you know that him putting on the socks for his own child because you are busy would have gladened your heart that moment

And there won't be need for any form of argument

Just only if they realize, but no ego won't allow them, yet they expect you support the home front with your finances when they sometimes are broke..... This night there's no dinner for anybody asides the children... We must have compulsory night fast.

frozen70g:
So many factors could be responsible

Marriage itself

Presence of children and their wahala

Absence of children and pressure to give birth

False impression of the guy having money

Control from the man to his wife

The way the man's family welcomed and relate with her

Domestic chores waiting to be done

Stress from house and office work

Lack of interest in everything including sex

The harsh economy and inability to meet up

Lastly, lack of attention and affection from husband

My sister, URE not far from the truth I swear, Just this morning as I was washing outside,I placed my baby in the walker just beside me, only for my hubby to come out and say, Iya Sanusi, (not real name) , go and wear socks and overall for the child, the weather is cold bla bla bla, I asked him what was wrong with his hands, and even if he was ironing, he could have left what he was doing and wear proper clothes for the boy, but na lie, he started boiling telling me if the child falls sick, he won't do anything and nothing must happen to him, I fired back and asked him to shut the hell up, telling him not to tell me what my job responsibilities are as a wife, I told him if he can't wear the clothes he wants for his own child, then he should leave me with my duties while he faces his own....

What I'm trying to say in a nutshell is, truly the pressure that comes with child rearing/ breeding and responsibilities can make a woman/man supposedly change in marriage

They want to sell stolen goods back to another thieves.... Falz who said everyone in Naija are all criminals one way or the other isn't far from the truth

NkemChukwudi:
Firstly when you are old you don't care about fucking because it's no longer as good and secondly your wife is likely to be old or wrinkled. Nobody want to have sex with an old wrinkly lady - not me God forbid.

Most men, married or not usually die alone. All the holding hands na wash and it usually doesn't make that much difference. I plan to have a paid nurse and paid carer to look after me and hold my hands when.......,

Women are just there to exploit and drain men of their resources, energy, health and wealth. I am sticking around to enjoy everything I have worked ......and I love being alone. I don't need nonsense companion that expects you to become her father.

Now that you've stated the merits of not getting married, can you honestly tell me the demerits of you Nkemchukwudi not getting married..

BTW, the nurse you intend to hire at old age is somewhere else's child either from a single mum or other wise.. So my question is this- even though ure not getting married , any plans for having child(ren) outside wedlock?
This I think is better than not having children at all even though u loathe the idea of marriage.

Callisco:
marriage is not compulsory, if he doesn't want to marry, it's his choice and everyone should mind their business

Whether u like it or yes, we are each others business, the moment u make a general post on social media, then it becomes everybody's business, if u really were an advocate of everybody minding their business, why then did u comment on his post as if it was ur business...


Or isn't his post his business, please kindly school me further if you object to thism

Emaprince:
Women....marriage is like a trophy to una. Anybody that speak against marriage is hated by women. But looking at the way you guys pray nd hope to get married everyday, one would think you will get married and be good and supportive, but 90% of the time, a mans life become hell after getting married.

He loses friends, families, his financial responsibilty sky rockets.....But when he goes broke, the woman will never remember those days the man was labouring to feed her, then his case will be the same as the man being posted in this thread

If not for Gods rules, you think any man would want to spend the rest of his life with a woman?

Oga but why are u generalizing now,
Besides uve not answered my question, if ure not an advocate of marriage, where does your advocacy lie?