@ op, 40 mins after, a thank you I am not hungry would have been best, when friend was calling wife, you should have protested that he need not worry. The family is probably going through stuff and wife has not yet learnt the act of keeping it between hubby + wife only or the wife has prego brain ( always a good excuse for bad behaviour lol)

@ man offered chinchin, absolutely no words lmao, the poor girl might be proud of her chinchin na. I remember when I finally got that proper "Nigeria meat pie" taste, I would have offered it to the pope as breakfast had he come visiting lol Different people with different outlooks to life dear.

As a host, chilled water will do good for people like the op if you have nothing as obviously the relationship is not strong enough.

For good friends/family, you can feast on their food together as you don't need to explain yourself, those people understand.

Chillisauce: First option,

put baby food in his bottle, sing And clap for him while trying to feed him. After a while, he will be hungry and eat his food. let your folks do it for you.



second option,(emergency)

Start giving him pap in a plate. Call all your loved ones to sing and shout like that their voices rises more than your baby's voice .

They can use old tin of can to make a drum, hit loud while you feed your baby.

If he opens his mouth to cry, put the pap sharply and sing louder, he will think there is war coming and he will remain silent and swallow his food . Works like magic, no be Naija pikin again?

After 2 days he will have the taste of pap even in his dream. Don't put it in a bottle o, use plate!

After, it's easier to transit to real food.


Watch out for choking, that's where experience comes in!



Let your folks do it, if you do it, the smell of your b reast milk will be strong for him to resist.

Lmao

Rest in perfect peace.
Even though I only knew you on a good morning, hello basis only, you will definitely be missed.
May God be with the children you left behind.
Rest in perfect peace.

Automatically thought if this was my daughter, will I say yes, go ahead.
It will be very hypocritical of me to advice you any other way as I don't see myself advising my daughters to do that so my dear, wait.

Or are you pregnant? If you are not, what is the rush? marriage is for a lifetime. Wait.

I see no reason to deliberately put yourself in a situation that you definitely know won't be "easy"

The fact that you actually resides in different states makes the situation worse. What happens if babies come s(planned or unplanned)

There is a time for everything, finish schooling and then marry.

If the man loves you, let him wait. Period.

Cotton, I see no reason to quote me

@ post

School meals are not all bad jare. Especially with all the expose in the daily papers and random inspections, the schools are very careful to tick all the boxes.

I know 010 was said jokingly on this thread but there are some kids that actually really need this and I am all for it. What we don't need is the intimidating and lording over attitude based on mere assumptions. Very myopic view to take.

My opinion is unless you prepare all your food at home, then you have no leg to stand on screaming quality. ""McDonald's,nandos,Chinese,Pizzahut are not exactly healthy and only God knows, only God Almighty knows how food is prepared there. I have vision of rat, snots, saliva and phlegms, I just can't help it. ""

This is a nice thread and I hope people speak out without being judged. I used to be a more hands on Psychotherapist and gosh what I have heard and seen makes me shiver at times. "Nkan be" in this world.

Ideas needed for a shop in London for a retired albeit very energetic couple in their early 50's.

They are not necessary going to be actively working 9 to 5 at the shop but it will belong to them so no idea is outrageous really. There will be sale assistants etc.

Profit margin does not have to be massive as long as they don't make a loss really.

London street is already saturated with hair salons, African food shops & restaurants so not interested in that. Also not keen on cargo and money transfer.

Other Ideas that have been tabled and rejected include

1. Bakery dealing specifically in wedding cakes, "Agege" bread, meat pie (Nigeria type), gala etc - however this will limit the customers to just Nigerians or at best Africans

2. A fashion retail shop dealing in ready made ankara and laces. Also tie gele and wedding makeup

3. Daycare

4. Travel agency

5. Bed & breakfast

We are all out of ideas, Lets brainstorm together, If you have any other idea,please do share. Thanks

Take care of your man or someone else will happily do the job for you. See now, Miss Bootyliciious has happily stepped in and is manicuring, hair cutting husband for owner o.

First and foremost, are you sure that he is not resisting the help of the wife? I don't see why a wife in her right senses will allow her husband leave the house looking like a riff-raff unless the woman herself is a dirty woman.

Might not be the popular opinion and we may not all necessary be happy about it but the overall responsibility of the appearance of each member of the family lies squarely on the woman.

If your daughter/son looks like a beggar in Sunday school with unkempt hair etc, as a woman it is your fault. In fact they will start questioning how you are managing your home sef in church o. Never mind that your husband is a grown man but he is still your "baby" so him looking messy reflect badly on you as the wife.

In fact we ladies might frown on it but the silently accepted notion is if your husband looks dirty it is your fault, if you look dirty, it is also your fault! Ain't life grind!

The Faithful God will keep you two together in love and happiness

Be lenient on the father people. Don't see things in just black & white, make allowances for shades of grey.

A child determined to go the other way will go the other way regardless of how perfect his home is.

Don't deceive yourself into thinking that the fact that your kid is 100% good is all down to you alone. You can train, pray, mentor and monitor them but how
the kid will turn out is ultimately down to him/her. Not all kids on the street had bad upbringing.

A still tongue they say keeps a wise head. Stop saying it "as it is" - as we grow older we learn to bite our tongues.

Rather than doing eye-service, why not actually do things whole-heartedly?

It is pointless advising you to be yourself if you have a nasty attitude.
Look inwards and ask yourself are there changes I can make?
Your hubby not supporting you, why do you think that is?
If you are truly innocent and your mother-in-law just does not like you, it is a conversation to have with your hubby because there must be something about you that she detest

Good luck

Reading through your post, I honestly feel sorry for your wife.

Yoshi-Master:


"Always at War"

I don't know who most of these drivers on the road are fighting.

I was once on the line at the toll, with my car perfectly within the confines of my lane. Just before approaching the booth, another motorist started jostling for position with my car.

The height of all madness, is what I experienced that day. This dude just brazenly rammed his car into mine, I guess he was thinking that I would give way so as not to damage my car, but in that moment, I felt I had to defend my right and stay in my lane (as childish as that sounds), hence refusing him entry. Usually I would allow entry to cars that are already in front of mine, but this guy was side by side with me, the best thing a sane person would do when trying to enter someone else's lane in that situation would be to go in after me.

Anyway after the initial ramming, he kept going, that is, he just kept bashing my car, forcefully removing me from my lane. It got so bad that when I tried to swerve away, to give this mad man chance, I couldn't. Why? Because this lunatic had rammed his car tire into mine, sorta locking both of them.

I reached my boiling point when I looked over through my window to shout at the guy, and behold to my amazement, the guy had an emotionless face on him, while just looking forward, as if nothing was happening, and the bashing of my car was all in my head.

I just had to get out of my car and kick his ass, lol. I really can't say it any better, it was sweet ass kicking, the justified kind. Police had to come in, blah, blah, blah, at the end the mad man came to be apologizing, evidence of the obvious dual personality possessed by him.

It really is war on the roads, but as I said, I don't know who they are fighting.

Lol!!! We have a lot of mentally ill people in Nigeria, we just don't know.
Now is that a normal person behaviour?

I am very suspicious of this whole thing, read it in the news and it seems very very far fetched.

They really need to check the CCTV if available on the routes she supposedly took. Was she alone?

A little white probably blond girl in ponytail walking alone on a busy road WILL definitely alert the attention of at least one person.

This all looks very very suspicious to me. The parent should investigate this very very well. God forbid some perverted person is involved in some way.

I may be wrong though but they should still please investigate this "miracle"

Amelian: @ Lola.luv, and other wishing me, my spouse and our new upcoming home well... God bless you all... But those guys looking for my trouble , sniffing where they are not suppose 2 sniff.....pls back off!... And be happy for me , at least...whether am desperate o, or he is desperate ...that's irrelevant...if am not ready to get married in my early 30s, when will I be?.....until am 50? ......if he's not eager to get married , now in his late 30s? When will he be?....until he is 55?.....how cautious and overly careful can anyone be in relationships.....the main Koko Is we are happy, we've found each other for keeps ....

Do your thing jare.
Good luck

jjagz: Such a foolish post that I don't even know how to start saying your are foolish. Sha no beef but it is your mum that is a glorified housemaid and baby breeding machine not the rest of us out here. That is if of course your mum ever married your dad.

my former church was probably the hardest to let go off. Not only did I love the church, i belonged to this wonderful team (usher department)
Apart from that, nothing really i don't think.

The girl should put a sock in it and stop using the "abuse" word and conjure up another word for whatever happened to her, the public will still sympathise with her and be outraged by it all since a rich pastor is involved! understandably she want some sort of emotional reaction from the public but labelling her escapades abuse is an insult to those who have truly been abused.

It will help immensely if there is some PayPal we can pay to.

plaetton:

Toba, Toba.
Na wa o.
Even you.
So religion has eaten so deep into your thinking faculties that it is now capable of generating this kind of serious and pitiful comedy?

You see what we mean when we atheists say that you religious sheeple are in bondage; very severe kind of mental bondage?.

I weep and pity for the consumers of religious garbage and passengers of that doomed slave ship called "Jesus".

The slave ship Jesus has got you sailing round and round now till you are dizzy and disoriented.

Pleases come out of that god-dammed slave ship!

With all the insult, you could not say anything remotely sensible.
Most atheist are usually intelligent and will argue their case while respecting your own beliefs.
It will appear that nairaland inherited all the riff raffs

@ Topic.

It is too simplistic to conclude such based on the name. Apart from the name what else can be proven?

Greatest respect accorded but the man is a fool. Simply because the pastor didn't mediate ( which is wrong) does not mean the wife is cheating with him, that is a very disrespectful and bullying tactics on the side of the man.
With his actions he is more or less ruining the church, the pastor's life and his life. I sure hope he can prove this allegation.

Mr Pastor, A Pastor that can't mediate shouldn't be one!
Been a pastor is more about preaching on the altar
A pastor should be able to counsel ANY of his congregation without fear

I actually feel sorry for the wife caught in the middle between pastor and hubby.
What we have to realise is the man has always allowed her excesses, this my pastor is always right can sometimes be psychological.
I know people that will defend their pastor to their last breath so I know of what I say!

Tell o. Some allergic reaction takes a while to manifest. At least, heaven forbid, if IT happens, the mother will know what could be wrong.

It is well and I join my faith with yours, NOTHING will happen to them sha tell the parent

queenvic: This is unfair !!

Many so called 'British Visitors' to Nigeria already pay over 500 Pounds for flights to VISIT FAMILY and FRIENDS in Nigeria ! There are many of us who are BORN RAISED HERE, and are even 2nd and third generation Born in UK !

Why should we even need Visa's when our school mates from Carribean and other places can visit their fatherland without constant financial harassment and embargoes. The FGN is hurting their own people in diaspora by spitting into the sky.

Its time for UK Naija Brits to GET A NIGERIAN PASSPORT instead of using our UK ones... Or go elsewhere for holidays..

Go somewhere else on your holiday!

It is the responsibility of the government to ensure its road is safe what we cannot do is try to guilt-trip the organisations into taking on the responsibilities of the government just because they are religious organisations.

@ Papillo, just listen to yourself and that is my bugbear about the whole situation, other sensible government plan ahead, no contract WILL be signed until all the terms and conditions are satisfied, our own government just leave everything to chance and see how it goes syndrome!! and when it hits the fan, shift the blame. Why give them planning permission and then lament afterwards.
Other organisations are still been given permission TILL DATE to build in already congested areas, common sense prevailing, aren't their any lessons learnt from that expressway!! 10 years from now, we will be blaming the organisations NOT the government and we expect Nigeria to be better, it is well!

Until the government are held into account and everyone speaks with a voice be you Muslim, Christian, Hausa, Igbo or Yoruba nothing i mean nothing will change, let us all they siddon dey look!

@ ola one : please do they get charged for their fans using the road?

@ de bosky, why should they? Why can't the government THINK for once. It is obvious that whole road is a mess. I remember going there with my family eons ago like 15 years ago now and it was a mess then and i am sure it is worse now. The government should get their finger out of their arse and do something. Period.

Overall responsibility belongs to the government.

kepsi123: I don't. Fear gree me. She's always right

You shall live long. A man that understands marriage

For me, igbati, iforuns, abaras and ikos. Ain't gat time for nonsense talking.

Crap, please take religion out of this. Useless government we have.

Any time there is a football match, concert or whatever happening lets say for example at Wembley park or race or whatever they dream up, the TFL takes responsibility and ensure there are plans put in place.
Will you tell Rihanna, Chelsea or whoever to arrange alternative transport for their fans!

That is why Nigeria is in that mess it is, the responsibilities should be put FIRMLY where it belongs. The Government. No two ways about it.

The government knows without fail, that there is always problem on that road every first Friday. WHAT HAVE THEY DONE ABOUT IT?
The road and ensuring the safety of it, is the TOTAL responsibility of the state, afterall the drivers on the said roads are her citizens, even if they don't pay road tax, the stupid amount of money collected by the same government (police) says something!

The organisations are already there, they paid for that rights, They are not "renting" so can't be chased away like KICC and the likes. They may be their forever and a day!

Any solution offered by any organisation on that expressway that paid for the right to be there is totally out of goodwill.

Why does she want to end it all?

Let her verbally tell you the reason ( very important) - She most likely at first will be like "I don't know, I am just tired or everything is wrong". However, if you can get her to dig deeper and start analysing her life, she may realise that she hasn't got it so bad the healing will most likely begin.

In the main time, all depressed people always needs an outlet to vent, to let out their frustration. Be the friend that she can call at ridiculous hours and let her talk, talk and talk some more to you.

I know this is a grey area most especially for Nigerians that only understands one mental illness which is "obvious mad people on the street!" but if she is so out of it, she might need to be placed on anti-depressant ( that should be the very last resort - prescribed by a qualified person after lots of face to face dialogue with her)

Please remove the apostrophe from the murdered. You murdered your mother in law. If you had left the insulin where it fell, she might have reached it, I guess we will never know.

This peace you think you now have is just an illusion. Greater problem awaits you.

Anywhoo, I hope this is not a true story, just a bored person making things up.

Yellowpawpaw has advised you perfectly

The scenario you painted, hubby was watching TV. Your younger brother wanted to sleep, hubby most likely advised him to sleep in the room. That shows the relationship hubby has with his brother(a close knitted one).

He won't stay with you forever, soonest he will get a job and move out. Nothing last forever. Persevere please.

However, if you are uncomfortable with the arrangement, of course discuss it with hubby and see the best way forward which will most likely cause friction, seclusion to your room when bro is home and buying or moving the TV to your bed room etc.

Pele.

No reasonable person will tell you to chase your siblings away!

Your hubby is not complaining so what is the problem?!

It is all in your mind, if you are determined to see a problem, then there will be one!

Thank God that you have an understanding husband and take care of your siblings.

You are now their mother.

All this discussion about fake miracle or whatnots is irrelevant to this topic

I believe the poster asked from a Christian perspective

Poster, read James 5 : 14 - 15, now I am not saying you or hubby is sick but the verse is relatable to this situation in that at times we may need people to pray for us.

One more thing, we have atheist, people that don't believe in God/miracles etc so you will always get this or that advice.

Are you a christian? Do you believe in Miracles? Speak to your hubby and both of you should go to the church.

Don't make something that is not an issue into something huge.

Advice is free and from different people with different outlook to life. Be wise and choose which one you adhere to.