₦airaland Forum

JAY Z carbon copy
Awwww

Debsolat: Definitely Pechkam crowd! Hanging with wrong crowds. Been in this country for a decade and half and my parents more than that. They are happily married and so am I. Pls leave your South east/east London and meet real people.

Very condescending
So south east London Nigeria ladies are not real

@ Poster

A grown woman of 60 years must know why she did what she did!!
You can't be judging based on a one-sided conversation
Anywhooooo, were it to be true, such is life. You get the good with the bad. You just keep it moving
Good luck!

[quote author=$25 million]Tell me why a man wouldn't basterdise this rude mofo. Folks I bet u,, men aren't mad, something triggers the reactions.[/quote]Just shut up.

Vent away.
It's alright
All the best.

Was this a one-off name calling or you call girlfriend abusive names regularly?
If it was the former, hahahaha smart girl, rope everything down your neck. Girlfriend was just looking for any excuse, any whatsoever and your unfortunate Idi-ot was all that was needed to tell you to take a hike. Who wants the guilt and bad reputation of ending a relationship when families are already involved

Ogbeni poster, please don't deceive yourself and don't let anyone deceive you, there are underlying issues here that definitely needs to be addressed.

If it was the later, then you can continue apologising with plane tickets, flowers and all other suggestion on this thread. Pele

Do you have kids together, what is the age gap between you both? Did you investigate into why he is a divorcee or you just took his words for it? Anyway poster the deed is done.

Regardless of what anyone tells you.
You + Hubby = 1 and yes you must be privy to information about whatever arrangement he has with the ex.

People will come here and type what they won't dare try on their wife.

I think it is this secretive nature of his that he termed "incompatibility" that made him become a one time divorcee. You have to communicate with him. Patience, plenty of it is needed here I am afraid

However, don't play any silly game with him, the fact that he uses a password does not mean you have to. show by example what you wish in your marraige. Maybe he will begin to open up.

damiso: Of course not.Anybody wants the best for their child and i sure as well dont want my SON marrying a psycho too.Cos i hope people do realise not only men pretend to be what they are not.Of course the old system even meant there would be an Alarina(in yoruba culture) and this broker as you may call it would be the one to broach the issue of marriage.After which covert or lets be more modern coded runs are now done.And lets even be factual here,despite all the checks,do we factor in some of the issues in marriage which are actually compatibility and communication.There is only so much you can do to GURANTEE that your child will be happy in marriage.

I do get now as a parent though wanting to protect your child from the evil world we live in.But i would still prefer it done in a more not in your face kinda way.

We are talking cross purposes
This is not about any guarantee that your child will be happy etc
This is SOLELY are you who you are research!
At the end of your text, you agree just you will not be upfront about it huh, you will rather do it on the sly! The man decided to take the bull by the horn. If something so trivial like that will make a man even have two minds about marrying the lady, then good riddance to bad rubbish.

Why this whole outcry? Is that not how it is done? so you just expect to say ok I want to marry your daughter and that is it? If you are of that opinion that you should believe what I say, just pray your leg never reach our family house o. Even the small ones still in nappies are investigating you, asking you questions, who are you? What do you want? Hehehe. Everyone just turns CIA and we won't have it any other way.

I suspect the girl has no brothers because usually it is the brothers doing the investigation on the pretence of trying to know our new in-law better!

The main thing is you are what you say you are. If you are what you say you are, then you have nothing to worry about now do ya?!

As far as I am concerened, you did absolutely nothing wrong especially since an innocent baby is in the scenario.
You followed the proper channel, you informed your hubby, he did nothing about it so as the "neck" you had to support him in making the decision for him!
For your father in law to have warned you that you shouldn't leave your baby with him, then "nkan be"
Your hubby properly feels slighted, so for peace to reign, just massage his ego a bit but the most important thing, the man is gone and your daughter is no longer in any sort of danger, real or imagined
It is well

LOL
Foolish man
Me likey

My dear, the feeling is forever and ever, I won't call it worry though, more like errrm protecting
That is why you see some parent turn to prayer warrior regarding their pikins.
You will find your forte, if na prayer warrior you go be, or annoying or over-protective etc
Goodluck!

Irankiran meji, arindin kan.
it is the friend I blame, no point crying over split milk, next time, embarrass the yeye Hot evil spirit that seems to be attacking them.
Absolutely detest adults with no self control be it for food, sex, alcohol or whatever the case may be.

I have been in some situations that I felt giving up was just not an option. Where I have insisted even if the situation was so minute that it could have easily been overlooked but because I have said it so be it so I totally understand this your unwillingness to give up on your instruction that she calls you aunty. It is not the name thing per se really.

7 year gap is not a joke at all at all sef. The age gap is too much for her to just open her mouth gbagada to call you by your first name, especially since you can easily be called mummy so and so. She knows the name thing pains you that is why she does it.
Have a nonchalant attitude towards her name-calling you and see how that goes.

The cause for concern right now is the fact that she is a thief and her mother does not seem that bothered. Please tell your husband to have a bro - sis talk with her. A country that is rife with jungle-justice, heaven forbids she does it where crazy people aplenty and her luck runs out.

My golden rule is let each person deals with their family but this stupid girl is assaulting you physically so you must to protect yourself!

Err on the side of caution with this spoilt brat. Heaven forbids the next time, it is a table on your head. Next time, if she tries and raise her filthy hands on you deal with her the same way you will deal with your younger sister, no other person needs be involved, put the fear of the Lord on her. Just don't kill her

Now majority of this “troubled” boys in London, the main reason (statistics wise anyway) suggests that they turned out the way they did because apparently they have no father figure meaning no father at all or fathers that were simply not visible probably because the poor man was busy working to put food on the table so had no time for Junior.

Now we are here talking about housewives ONLY, that is not fair o. Going by said statistics, it is obvious that children need fathers as well na, so no one should kuku go to work. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. Sebi it is quality abi it is quantity time, why have just the mother doing housewife when the child can enjoy the luxury of mummy and daddy doing housewife and househusband. The children will have the undivided attention of mummy and daddy 24 HRS a day at his or her beck and call, I wonder what will be the explanation if when the child grows up, people don’t mistake him for Jesus brother daily!

Anyway, back to reality! I, for one, wish housewives/career wives nothing but happiness, in this earth, you can’t just have the flawless life, that will have to wait till you get to heaven if you are lucky enough

However, as I usually say to my people, apply a bit of common sense into your situation . A “housewife” with ample amount of common sense probably has a business on the side. No matter how “understanding” the man is when you start asking the man for money to buy your every little thing, money to do this, money to do that, unless the man is Jesus himself, his respect for you will start to decrease, he might not even want to admit it to himself after all it was a collective decision for you to become housewife!

Women should just think and think well, if being a house-wife was such a perfect set-up, trust me more men will be doing it. Some men have the children for a day and if the wives mistakenly don’t pick up their calls after two trials, the husbands are almost calling social services on themselves already pleading guilty to a non-existence sin

Oh my God
Thank God for His mercies

What a foolish thug of a man. Regardless of how frustrated you are, you shouldn't react with your fist. I wonder what iyawo was doing when egbon was receiving blood dripping beating.
Everyone should be careful around him, even iyawo herself.
One day, he might just snap and break her neck.

Esunsun.

Every time the man picks up his girls, the woman runs to her $500/hr lawyer and file all this allegations. One of them might just stick one day and the man is in all sort of trouble. I won't advice my own son to be that gullible.

All this a man should fight hard, afterall, they are his children can sometimes not be reasonable. Let's be fair here, for the children to have even testified against their father, he should even stay clear until they ask for him or until they are teenagers. Yes the children might have been brainwashed but who is to say they won't be brainwashed further to testify far more damaging accusations on him.

The man should fight if only he believes the kids are at risk with their mother. However, if he believes the kids are safe but the woman's hatred is for him and him alone, he should adapt the siddon dey look approach.

The man should stay on his lane, pay the child support religiously and watch the cookie crumbles. Thank God his children are girls. Girls always ask after daddy.

As for you cousin, FAMILY MEETING time o! I hope you are doing more than just bringing this issue on nairaland. Leave the man alone and let your family face the woman squarely.

I sincerely think Nigeria has not reached that at manager's discretion stage. Let everything be documented very well in contracts, stipulated well in terms and conditions so manager is not perceived as evil and employee does not feel hard done by.

However, most organisations I know have Leave with pay arrangement for your child being sick ( I think couple of weeks per financial year), compassionate leave (also leave with pay) for a couple of weeks per financial year. A year Mat leave (fully and partially paid)

Everything else happening in your personal life is at your manager's discretion.

Back to topic

"Ideal" family life in which mummy and daddy picks up junior and his siblings from school at close of play is almost impossible if both of you are not self-employed. One tends to suffer for another. You cannot have it all. It is just almost impossible. You just have to find a healthy balance for both with your conscience clean at the end of the day.

LMAO at Baby_123. You no well. Iyawo elenu razor. I know people like you jare, the funny thing is it is usually opposite that attracts. The husbands of the "don't try me" iyawos are usually so calm. Maybe they were born that way, maybe the wives trained them to be that way, only God knows. It is the survival of the fittest.

No one has a monopoly on violence. Some choose to lash out as well, some choose to take it, some choose to get out, some choose to call family meetings, some choose to poison and blame it on the Nigeria condition etc.

Goodluck with it all I say. Just remember you have one life to live.

Bless!

dayokanu: Na wa oo

He is possesed by snake spirit. Dont be surprised if he starts biting you

LMAO

@ poster
This is another form of abuse.
Think!

Poster, the way you handle yourself right from the onset matters, right from the moment you were introduced as the fiancee. You will have obviously seen this lace of respect trait in mama's attitude towards you but you decided to ignore it. Now you are married, you think you can just cut off mama from son, you are sadly mistaken.

However, no point crying over split milk, at the fix you find yourself, please the only thing you can do is apologise.

Don't let anyone advice you to do "stronghead" especially as your hubby as said his mother cannot leave. As many people have said, it is a battle you can never win, you lose each time regardless of the outcome.

I still even for the life of me cannot fathom how you can tell his mother to leave your house, na wa, was it not even too heavy in your mouth.

Even mere family friends at times, you have to be very diplomatic in the way you deal with them, you won't outrightly tell to get lost not to talk of your husband's mother. I still don't understand how his mama giving you the "evil look" links to you throwing the food away.

Remember, bi won se ni ilu kan, ewo ibomiran ni - that is simply saying "what we do in my town might be a taboo in another place"

Next time, think before you act.
A still tongue keeps a wise head
Rule of thumb, always always let the child deal with his/her parents. His mother will always forgive him were the outburst to come from him, whereas you, she might always have that ill feeling towards you.

The only option for you now is to apologise.

Just think your poor husband is stuck in the middle, if your husband tells her to leave now, mama will automatically think her son that she gave birth to, suffer for etc has deserted her for a woman that can not manage money, clean, cook etc.

I fear Mama has just bought herself an indefinite stay in your house all because of your silly way of dealing with the situation.

Next time think!

Who has the final say, Jehovah has the final say!!!

chiswaggs: I just hope you are educated sha. Have you ever asked yourself why philantropist build schools and give out scholarships instead of building hospitals and giving out free medicare? If any and please quote me right, any private hospital beging to treat emergency cases without collecting their deposit, they'll go bankrupt. Didn't the husband know it was a private clinic before rushing his wife there? Has he ever heard of any private clinic that attends to patients without the initial deposit? This doctor goes to the market and nobody gives him free goods because he is a doctor, if he needs medical attention, nobody gives it to him free because he is a doctor, nobody pays his childrens school fees, nobody buys food for him and yet u don't think he should make ends meet. See the way you guys are criticising private clinics and yet people still patronise them. Do you know that if these private clinics go bankrupt as a result of patients inability to pay and as such close down, Nigerians will be the worse for it? Think before you talk. Im sure wherever you work, you don't do it for free.

Mr/Mrs/Miss Chiswaggs, it appears all I wrote flew past your head. Wheeeeew it flew past, it really did.

I am tempted to say read and read and read my post again, maybe you might just assimilate better but save yourself the misery and overlook my post as it is obviously above you. Not about to start arguing with a person that does not understand the bare minimum!

It seems people don't understand the meaning of the word "Emergency"

.....

The whole system needs to be investigated, bottoms up.
As a doctor, don't think you deserve a medal because you gave blood or whatever you did at your place of work, that is your prerogative, you chose to be in this profession, you chose to take the oath.
Many a good policeman are dead in the line of duty, many teachers have been assaulted, no profession has it totally easy so please just drop the whole "the whole weight of the heaven and earth lies on my shoulder" attitude.

Secondly, a hospital vault can not be so empty that it needs a mere 20000 naira before it can deliver a baby. There should be some sort of subsidise arrangement going on. Let's call a spade a spade here, any hospital that actually needs 20000 naira before they can function should have their licence revoked.

The whole system is totally wrong, 5000 naira registration in a hospital? What for? Is it a concert or a conference? Na real wa.

If you want to get rich, if your priority is getting rich, please don't dabble into the having a clinic line, unfortunately you really need a good samaritan heart to have a clinic in any developing country and YES you might go bankrupt, hence why people need to research much more profitable business to dabble into, having a clinic ain't!

People seems to think being a doctor is all fun and game and the nerve of someone to comparing emergency treatment to giving out free food at Mr bigg's

Rest in peace woman and baby.

As the Messiah liveth, all the desires and longings of your heart will come to reality soonest.

What is happening / happened to this religion part of the forum is such a shame.

Ah, Gone are the glory years of this section where you could actually pick a thing or two from the religion section.

All we get nowadays are this silly boys that have no purpose but to lament on their misfortune and derailing threads

If you must comment, why don't you apply at least a little bit of common sense to your response
We geddit, you are an Atheist, how about being an intelligent self-respecting Atheist.

There are some Atheist that conversate with you and you know you are talking to someone that knows his onions albeit how wrong or misinformed his views are.

@ Topic
I heard this a long while back. The medusa aspect, I am hearing for the first time.

I am totally of the school of thought that my heavenly father has given me all this wonderful powers and spiritual gifts and imagine I am now scared of an inanimate object.
Wasn't it my Father that created the heaven and the earth and everything in it? He hath not given me the spirit of fear and I refuse to limit myself. If my conscience is clear, then I am totally ok with it.
So all this no make up, no attachment is very very petty to me. However, this is just totally my opinion.

Ephesians 2:8-9 we read, "For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast."

Also, to make heaven, I simply cannot make heaven if God does not have mercy on me, I am a sinner, you can never be 100% good/perfect. We can only thrive to be the best person you can be. Perhaps what we need to ask for is the Grace of God and His favour

The girl is the victim in all this. As long as the abuse started when she was a minor, she could be walking around in panties with pointed breast for all I care. There is some sort of responsibilities that comes along with been an "adult" and the growm man took advantage

Infact, do we know the psychological welfare of this girl? Do you know the kind of power this man had and still have on this girl?

Life is not always black or white, make allowances for the shade of grey all thee civilised people!