IkeNwanyiCalaba:


gataway you. upon all the replying to my advise your own is annoy me more because i know you jealosy. you can never never chalenge me in english spoken and writen. what do you know in comprehenshion? I know I didn't have a digree in english, but im more than you. what is wrong in my advices? having two boyfriend if that is not vanity upon vanity, then i cannot comprehend. insted of you to advising her to give her live to christ in other to success in heaven, you are hear causin and confusing. nikompupu my feet. mtcheeew.

Ah God bless you for this early dose of laughter. Amin

It is Anne's fault. As far as I am concerned, culture you pick and choose what suit you perfectly. I am fully fledged Yoruba with plenty in-laws and never have I encountered such. It is all in presentation, the way you present yourself to people, family, work colleagues, friends etc that you will be treated. If you choose to be subservient in the beginning, you better know you will continue all your life unless you take drastic steps.

This is an issue between Husband and wife. Also, between husband and his family only. The wife needs not have words with hubby's family and you wife's family need not call any family meeting as off now.

First and foremost, your sister needs to stop being silly and move back in the first instant he begs her too.
There are so many ways you can win a battle without even saying a word. Why pack out of your home with I am assuming a kid just because of in-laws palava.

The hubby needs to make a stand and most importantly understand the need for it. Everything else is null and void until the husband actually understands that he is now married and there are boundaries

Your sister needs to talk not shout not nag not beg but talk to her hubby. let him understand the way she feels. She needs to appeal to his " I am the man of this house" ego.

Poster, truly in your heart if you know that without your support, they will suffer, please keep at it. Thank you. Don't let anybody discourage you with bad examples. Your mum did it all her life, I am sure she sacrificed a lot for her children. Don't start resenting your younger ones.

Thread becomes useless when subject of discussion is based solely on colour of skin

Sweetlemon:

When I said tradition duties, I meant their core duties. Their main duties. I didn't say that a woman should not work o! Didn't you see where I wrote that I work?

I understand you perfectly. However, I am just saying that apart from pregnancy and labour, there isn't any core duties designated for a woman.

You see the problem arises during the courting stages when a woman does ALL the cooking, cleaning for the boyfriend and of course the man will expect that to continue after marriage and I don't blame him, isn't that deception ni? Women should stop engaging in this fraudulent activity to become missus. Follow through all your natural life with the cooking, cleaning or set the boundaries before you say I do.

Poster, what is traditional duties? Apart from pregnancy and labour? Please you are not doing any woman any favour with your argument. Most women are trying to break free from the so - called traditional duties.

Woman, it is your fault. If you allow your hubby to ri e fin it is your damn fault. If your man 'demands' that you stay at home as long as you didn't drag him huffing and puffing to the alter,then he can be a house husband if he wants. Please empower yourself woman and get something doing.

Fejok01: @Vanitty.tanx.Moving on is what i seem not to be able to do.Any suggestion?

Hmmm, They say time is the best healer, so usually with time you should have moved on to some extent.

However, 8 years on, you are still in deep pain and sorrow. Family and friends even with the best intentions at times just give you a quick-fix solution and not deal with the real issue.

My only suggestion is for you to talk to a certified person, someone that was trained and his/her livelihood is to assess people psychologically.
It helps x

Nope

8 years on and you still feel such deep pain and sorrow means you are not letting yourself move on.

Yes, you will always remember your loved ones (even your father /mother) but with time, the pain should fade to a nice remembrance of them that will even make you smile anytime you think of them

Please go and talk to a shrink.
It is well.

Awwwwwwww
Happy birthday

Are "we" okay so?!
A MARRIED person with responsibilities that may include kids etc and we are blaming the SINGLE person with absolutely nothing to lose.

Now where is that thread about the person that killed all the children of their married lover?! I think it was 3 or 4 children all gone. May their gentle soul keep resting in peace

While we are putting a blame on the SINGLE person, we should kuku absolve the married party of all blame. We could suggest that rather than the wronged wife or husband confront the person he or she made a vow too, he or she should be fighting the single person all over the place abi Oshisko.

As far I am concerned, the single person has absolutely no blame. The married person gets all the blame. Didn't he or she make some promises when making their vows.

Not everyone can live by my or your moral code. Only God can judge them and we must remember, no sin is bigger than the other so therefore you single person committing adultery with a married person and you, the single person fornicating with a single person still counts the same in the face of God, or is it you that lies, steal, the list is endless!

Let all married people have the fear of the Lord and stop blaming others for their weakness, shortcomings and their failure as a married person.

It is well

It is well with her body and soul in Jesus name
God's healing on her x

Hmmm life is not usually black or white, there is always a shade of grey hanging about.

All relationships have ups and downs, Things are said doing argument that people tend to regret later. Not everyone is "perfect"
Please don't let us all be so quick to tell a lady to pack out of her child's father house. It easy? Poster needs to come and explain fully what the so called brideprice consists off. Do we know the stress the man is going through. Is the woman working etc? Could it be possible that wifey and hubby both needs re orientation?

The man had the intention of marrying her in the first place. Just a few words here and there does not mean the man does not love or want her.

You might want to repackage yourself. He probably thinks he has seen you all, "o ti ri e tan" hence the reason why he has no urge to do it legally. Repackage yourself. I don't know your background but most time, just a bit of re packaging is needed for the man to come back to his senses especially since he had the intention of marrying you before baby came along. He had the intention so he is not being "forced" to marry you.

ALL yoruba mothers I know, by the time their son is in his late 20's, early 30's, they are already having the "when will I see my grandchildren, I gave birth to you, won't you give birth to someone" conversation with them so if as you mentioned, your main concern is truly his family acceptance of baby, then don't worry, you will be a alright.

Their initial attitude will most likely be a displeased one because it is not the "done" thing to be pregnant outside wedlock. However, if you are a responsible lady, RESPECTFUL, no other baby daddy they will most likely come along. They might even "pressure" their son to marry you. Goodluck :-)

Hehehehehe.
Mercy Johnson, don't mind anyone jare.
Bad belle.
If the critics want to be so damn "patriotic", fine but don't push it down others throat. What is the sense in having money, if you can't spend it as you like.
Everyone should "mura mo ise" and pray to whatever they believe in and then maybe they might have the choice "to do or not to do".

sweetcheecks: .
Vanity interesting story, by the way i did not know about it. But how does it relate to op? Those are married politicians and their position alone is a magnet for attention. I am not sue if normal people would have or expeiance such drama fa a driving ticket. Maybe its me not understanding.

Vicky wanted revenge
She decided to go to the papers to "tell" on her ex-husband
Both are now in jail serving good 8 months.

http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21627288

Moral of the story : Revenge will most likely hurt you more.
You might feel a "high" at first which will most likely be replaced with emptiness after a while.

Any issue that the court cannot settle, leave it to God. A bit tricky to leave this matter to God though, God frowns on pre-marital sex. Poster, don't lose out more, let it go!

Humbly, I submit this to you Poster. If you have time to spare away from this your marvellous plotting scheme. Take a moment to read the story of Chris Huhne and his ex-wife Vicky Pryce, if you have not heard of it. Search on google/BBC etc.

The end result : Chris and Vicky are both languishing in jail now.

freecocoa: I read what you wrote very well and I don't really understand it.

I'm just looking at what could lead to him disrespecting your mom na.

I don't know as well o what will make him disrespect my mother but that is the deal breaker for me.
Just like finances etc could be it for some other ladies.
Beside, I thought we were giving scenarios. What if's etc.
If I read the topic wrong, I apologise jare. Silly me.

freecocoa: Wow! Now I don't even know what to say about this.

So your mother's talk is final even in your husband's house? I'm kinda confused, please can you throw more light on this your post.

Huh?
Now what is the correlation in what I wrote and what you wrote.
I am not going to be throwing any light jare darling freecocoa, long day at work already.
Read what I wrote well

If he disrespect my mother, then that is it for him for a while, he will have to grovel to get that respect back and I am sure the feeling is mutual. Everything else I can handle, God be my strength.

Odunnu:
Why are you shouting? Are you so angry? Quit the caps!

You are really shameless, bringing such an honorable activity as Tehn into a thread that is saturated with evil. Tufiakwa

Very shameless.
The man is just trying to divert attention

yuzedo: I want to get a power bike and ditch my car. Traffic is just not sexy. But I don't know how to reconcile wearing a suit (or traditional on fridays) and riding a power bike.

Can anyone give me suggestions please? I'm not up to changing at work.

Wear casual cloth then change at work to your power suit

Emperoh:

I wouldn't know whether he meant 7 years or year 7
All join sha

Year 7 is 10/11 years old but yep all join.

@ Ajanlekoko
Don't be looking down at those certificates, I have a plan for my "foreign" certificates. Thank you very much

debosky: ^^ Pray tell what certificates get issued at age 7 these days?

The teletubbies ones ofcourse.
I have the right to be proud of my colourful drawing certificate as well.
All na foreign

And merry-go-round we go!
You just don't go to university to learn 'book'! Your skill set becomes more enhanced not talking about experience here.

Anywho back to topic, so you have a foreign degree and so what? Situation like this irks me, so you automatically think you deserve to be on top of the pile in Nigeria. How fair is that? Relegating the Nigeria graduate further down the job line.

If you a Cambridge/ Imperial/ Harvard or whatever uni graduate is stupid enough in the first place to go and be looking for job in Nigeria and you find yourself competing with an Offa Poly graduate, if he happens to get the job, so be it! Don't start lamenting on how unfair it is.

Even in the country you did the so-called degree, do you know how many of your mate are working in low skilled jobs?

You get to Nigeria and expect to lord over everyone, automatically wants that Millionssss job with no experience Why don't you stay and be demanding a high paying job in that country! and nope I am not hating on your 'ish' foreign certificates, I have been accumulating then since I was in year 7!

Men like that, the only way they will feel any sort of remorse is if their pocket get seriously hit or by making him an outsider in his clique. She should face the man squarely and live the poor wife alone.

Men especially married men need to be extra careful. You can't be treating women like they are a piece of toy and expect that there won't be no repercussions.

Not all women are "Jesus believers" Not all women believe in "Karma". Some women will actually ruin you. The evil some women will embark on is very frightening.

I definitely believe revenge is the Lord's but that is my opinion. My take on this is she should just let go of the bitterness. Let go and move on. Yes it is easier said than done but that is the easiest thing to do. Revenge is hard work, all the plotting etc.

If the woman want to revenge.
She should remember
1. The wife is also a victim
2. If you kill someone, you more or less destroy your own life. Any criminal activity you do will more or less affect you negatively

Thank God for His mercies.
You being alive is for a purpose and no death will snatch you away from achieving that purpose
120 years u shall live in peace and enjoyment :-)
It is well.
Amen

There are gods scattered all over and then there is God.

This is what happens when families are not closely knitted enough

If you have been through a lot, losing jobs etc has you said and his family cannot help him, then obviously there is more to the story.

Heaven forbids, if I fall through hard times, YES I expect my family to help me out if they are capable of doing so, that is one of the perks of having a "family"! or are families meant just for the owanbe parties, asoebi and good times only ni? To each their own

Anyway poster. Search yourselves. Have you and hubby irked them off?

Where husband go, wife goes.
God punish the "conveniency" that will asunder what God has joined. Amen!

Wowwaiwiwa.
Nkan be.