₦airaland Forum

hiden_conyo: just try to understand her situation, she just can't stop loving him....that's the problem

If this guy was the one begging, I would have advised that she forgives him if she can, but no he wasn't. He was caught cheating and trust me, it doesn't matter how she found out. If she hadn't given this lady every reason to be suspicious of him, she wouldn't go sniffing around. Its good she found out anyway, cos sooner or later she would have been dumped.
He is just using reverse psychology on her, most men do that, using attack as best form of defence.
Begging him will not make anything better, its gonna get worst and this lady deserves a better man.

IZUKWU: bro, you are very correct ,i also followed those threads. Vivy, some of your comments on this thread are very much unlike you. What happened!

Yea, its unlike me cos I told you if one hurts me intentionally, I will hurt the right back.

Oh God, you guys must have had a very very wrong impression about me.

Izu, I repeat if you see kneeling down for a woman as a big deal, then, well, I don't know what to say to you.

And if you blacklisted a girl cos she said if you cheat on her, she would break you (I don't support the violence part) when all she needed was a re-assurance from you that you would never cheat on her, then I don't understand you.

CAMEROONPRIDE: never mind if you don't remember, but you were submissive, were against rug shoulders with men, etc I remember back then a lot of females used to attack you the like of Ileke etc, I forgot the threadd but It's all right.

You used to have a lot of e-fights with women, today you sound so bitter and disgusted by them etc etc ..yi bet something happened .

I miss reading the old chinaza
Cheer

You know one thing I have found out about most NL readers is they don't digest what they read before they make comments. Their hands do most of the thinking and typing.

I'm a huge fan of submissiveness, I'm not just a huge fan of guys treating ladies like dirt. I also believe a woman should be a woman.

I'm not a feminist. I'm my own woman, I have my own beliefs and I stand by them irrespective of who approves or dis-approves.
When women are going over board, I caution them. That has always been my stand and honestly I don't give a rat's azz about who fights with me or not.
So maybe you never really understood my posts, just the way a lot of you never did.

CAMEROONPRIDE: Maybe you should translate...
BTW I was talking in general, so u mean you weren't honest back then..Humm, anyway will b waiting for your translation

Honest about what exactly?

CAMEROONPRIDE: Why are u so bitter? What happened, you weren't like this..please get your acts together.

So I can't make an honest conversation again? Do u understand English at all? Or should I translate what I wrote up there into french?

biolabee: Please of i may ask can u explain the bolded

Court marriage and property

Don't bother about it, I'm done with this thread.

Cheers.

Rooneyboy: Vivian Chinaza, u are still here venting ur frustration on this poor dude, Pleep , SMH , but he's not the one that disappointed u .

Awwwww, how you change is impeccable. My frustration is now on pleep? I thought it was on your coward of a friend that committed suicide?

@ Adexsimply, if you think I'm gonna entrust my future into the hands on a man, in this day and time? You are sorely mistaking!

Like I said, he would be aware of those things, win win situation.

pleep: its not black-mail unless its real. Stop whining... its what you said.

Everyone who remebers the mrs. nairaland competition know what im talking about. Stop being a hypocrit

Mrs. NL? *dies* epic, you are not only full of shi.t, you are also full of lies.

I'm done with you.

pleep: You said yourself "I need a rich man " bla bla bla. I remember everything, so please spare me your Bs....

You are the one with a lot of bullshit who thinks every girl is as hungry as the ones you date.

And why would I be needing a man on NL when I don't run out of men in the real world?

So why don't u provide the link to the thread where I said that?

Blackmail is too cheap.

pleep: You said yourself "I need a rich man " bla bla bla. I remember everything, so please spare me your Bs....

You are the one with a lot of bullshit who think every girl is as hungry as the ones you date.

And why would I be needing a man on NL when I don't run out of men in the real world?

So why don't u provide the link to the thread where I said that?

Blackmail is too cheap.

pleep: bla bla bla.. i've said my peice. I'm tied of this thread, you ladies just argue in circles

If you didn't beleive in double standards you wouldn't be demanding a richer man, or letting guys pay for dates etc etc. just buzz off woman, ur brain is slush

Awwww pleep, you must be dating lazy girls and gluttons. Cos for a woman like me, you paper net worth is nothing, that is why I don't believe in financial security. What is important to me is your intellect net worth.

Most times I have paid for dates. Going on dates in restaurants is quite less expensive for me cos I don't drink, I'm also allergic to fast food meals and I'm a frutarian, so I decline orders. And where I stay, clubbing is FOC. Going to the movies is just 500 bucks, I don't take sharwama either. Trust me, most times this annoys men around me.

My perfect date is at home, with food specially prepared by me and a cocktail drink, over a movie.

A girl like me? Have seen it all. So why don't you keep your chicken change to yourself.

Yea, I'm gonna toss him out, not out of a house but out of my life.

You see, I don't believe in a man's properties, if for any reason I divorce a man, I don't want to go with his penny, I don't need his house or alimony. The only things that would leave with me are the things I bought with my own money. Before and after I get married I'm gonna acquire properties in my own name, which my hubby would be aware of. That is why I don't bother myself about court marriage.

@ pleep, yea, I'm an angry woman, who goes about opening threads and whining about other people, who goes about screaming "I will never get married!" Who attacks other people's personalities to feel so good about herself, who resorted to cheap blackmail to drive home unnecessary points. Oh wait, that's you!

is it not ironical? How a mad man goes about calling other people mad?

I will never cheat on my husband, not because I can't but because I won't! But if he dares cheat on me? I won't kill myself, life still dey sweet me jare. I will considering pulling a trigger at him, but nah, no SOB is worth ruining my life over, unless they legalise shooting. I will simply toss him and move on to better men.

One more thing, I do not believe in double standards. I will never raise my hands on a man unless in self defence. No man should raise his hands on me. In as much as I don't want to be beaten, I'm not gonna push a man to the wall. But if he dares for no just cause raise his hands on my, I don't believe in inviting the police, I believe in bringing some guys to beat the hell outta him too, then we can go to the police.

@ pleep, yea, I'm an angry woman, who goes about opening threads and whining about other people, who goes about screaming "I will never get married!" Who attacks other people's personalities to feel so good about herself, who resorted to cheap blackmail to drive home unnecessary points. Oh wait, that's you!

is it not ironical? How a mad man goes about calling other people mad?

I will never cheat on my husband, not because I can't but because I won't! But if he dares cheat on me? I won't kill myself, life still dey sweet me jare. I will considering pulling a trigger at him, but nah, no SOB is worth ruining my life over, unless they legalise shooting. I will simply toss him and move on to better men.

One more thing, I do not believe in double standards. I will never raise my hands on a man unless in self defence. No man should raise his hands on me. In as much as I don't want to be beaten, I'm not gonna push a man to the wall. But if he dares for no just cause raise his hands on my, I don't believe in inviting the police, I believe in bringing some guys to beat the hell outta him too, then we can go to the police.

pleep: I dont get what is so hard for these dumb women to understand that men & women have different priorities in relationships.

most men will not tolerate being cheated on

most women will not tolerate brokeness

@ ladies get it through your estrogen saturated brains...

Why don't you go for those women who will appreciate your chicken change in exchange of infidelity. Simples.

In my own world, women work twice as much hard, and they expect to be treated with respect. In my own world I have seen great women who stood by their husbands when they are broke, yet, the husbands cheat. In my own world, we believe in the golden rule.

I personally might forgive a cheating spouse under special circumstances, other than that he gets tossed out. And I'd choose to toss him out not because I'm not bruised, not because I don't feel like killing something, no. I'd choose the tossing out option because no lousy son of a biatch is worth ruining my life over.

If you say the food who have prepared is delicious, then you need to taste it.

Donalð Genes: Plsssssssssss I don't qet thos igbotic proverbs? No vex

That part wasn't meant for your consumption, it was meant for the person I quoted, so I owe you nothing.

hiden_conyo: in every relationship one person must kneel and d other must stand for d relationship to move forward.
in this case,u are the one kneelin...so,u hv to apologise to him since u stil love him and maybe him doing the same.....beside u only saw text msg and start to d vex carelessly

Oh yea, right! When apologising, she should also go with the following;

10 white cocks.
1 white goat.
100 tubers of yam.
10 kegs of palm wine.
1 basket of native kola nut.



Nonsense!

chikk: Well, I'm not here to defend any tribe, so I'll leave you to your belief. But I suggest you take it easy sha, you never can tell, that dream man of yours might come from the igbo tribe, then you language will change. That's the bad thing about generalising.

And as for the text in bold above, my answer is NO. You'll observe I've refrained from commenting directly on the topic. Reason: any real man will do what it takes to please his woman so long as no one is hurt. So all these people saying they can't, well, God bleSs their souls if their dream women demand that they go on their knees to propose.

Funny enough, most of these people saying they can't are from tribes or will marry from tribes that demands a man rolls on a dirty ground and get seriously flogged just to marry a woman. I don't know which one is worse. In fact, BOYS will say they can't, but REAL MEN know better.

Yes, you are right.

I don't have special preference for any tribe (even tho yoruba guys scare the hell outta me, I mean considering the level of hatred I have seen in the politics section) provided the guy is not obsessed with "headship."

I don't want a guy who thinks kneeling for me makes him less of a man.
I don't want a guy who will intentionally let his pride come between our happiness.
I don't want a guy who will expect me to make him cocktail drink if he cheats.
I want a man who recognises that pride and love don't work together.
I have a problem with that kinda "headship."

alutacontinua: very annoying...only God knows what they feel like. So, you're supposed to leave all your things in your father's house. say wetin happen? mtcheeeeewwwwww

. Na so we see am o.

pleep: You are bitter as hell and i have no idea why you are figthing this point with so much ferocity

Maybe men are the weaker vessels i dont care, you can practice w/e you want in your household that is not my problem.

All i know is that if i listed the ways women are weaker than men this post would never end.....

Not not speaking about this because of some stupid man vs women competiton. Im speaking about facts that have been proven by the scientific method. Though-out history cheating spouses have hindered mens ability to pass on their genes to the future, this is a proven fact, you cant argue against it.

You might as well argue with all the surveys and studies that have been done on the subject as well as the phychology today article that stated the magority of american women wouldn't mind being a millionaires second wife.

Cheating affects men more on a subconcious level.

Men and women are not the same, fucking accept it

Bitter? , I'm defending my gender the same way you are.

If you are not so bitter? Why the name calling and personal attack? Why are u resorting to cheap blackmail?
Let's face it, you are not man enough, cos if you believe in yourself, why take bring others down?

alutacontinua:

babe, you check that kind thing na, e good?

pleep: thats funny because i remember you yapping all over the forums about how you want a rich man.

yep.. right around the time of that Mrs Nairaland contest.... lie lie lie, independant bla bla bla. all the word indepdendaent means to a black woman is single motherhood

Awwww, I knew you would condescend to cheap blackmail. Typical of men!

I have never, ever said or made being 'rich' a criterion, ok? And if you know any thread where I have said that, why don't you provide the link to that thread.

And the last time I check, being independent is not synonymous to being a single mother. I don't see anything wrong with a single mum, its a matter of choice, a choice which I have not made.

I know your brain is wired in a silly way that because you give a girl peanuts, you now have the monopoly of ego , and you can't just stomach the fact that things have changed. wake up boy, cos this change has come to stay.

chikk: Well, I don't think its just Igbos. We're Africans and no matter what western culture or mentality we borrow/adopt, somethings can't just change.

Both in tradition and religion, Women are supposed/expected to be submissive. They submit to their men and that makes them(men) the 'head'. Its just how it is, tho' that doesn't mean that women should cower at their men and/sell their rights out o.

I completely agree with you.

But are you saying a man kneeling for a woman when its necessary makes his less a man and less 'head' of a family?

And I don't think you understand me. Men have ego and pride, I dispute that fact. But igbo guys are obsessed with "headship." I igbo too, but I stay in the niger/delta region and their men are not like that.

Do you know what an igbo guy told me? He was asking for my hand in marriage, so we got talking and he told that I cannot bring any of my properties to 'HIS' house. That whatever property that I have should be left in my parents house. *emphasis on HIS o*
Can you imagine that this guy's ego wouldn't let him stomach the feeling that maybe me bringing my properties would mean dragging the 'headship' with him.
I just kept quiet while he went on and on, when he was done, I told him NOT A CHANCE IN HELL!

pleep: Im so sick of people acting like men and women are completely the same whenever it benefits them. Vivian chinaza, why dont you pay for dates, why don't you open doors, why don't you initiate courtship?

Why do you feel entitled to a man who is richer than you?


the majority of Nairaland ladies are just over-grown babies that want to have their cake and eat it too. smgdh grow the hell up!

Pleep, you know, in as much as I would love to tell you how I run my relationship in the real world, I won't do it. Cos I cannot come on here and brag about what I have or have done for a man.

P.S. I'm an independent lady, I foot my own bills. I pay my rent and dues. I decide who stays or who gets the hell out!

alutacontinua: I pity your wife or wife-to-be! SMH...seriously, do you guys think we don't have feelings or ego too? What do you even take ladies for? Even our grandfathers would do better than this, i guess!

That is eh, if u follow wetin these guys dey yarn for NL, you will never be good to any man out there.

chikk: Will make a good topic for a new thread. Try it and you'll find out why

But seriously, am I the only one that has noticed?

princessmoi: @poster,

Apologise for what? After six months he didn't show any kind of remorse instead trying to look for something to blame you. Let me catch you apologising to that fool. In fact don't let me pour my anger on you please.

as if you don't know that some guys lick a lot of shi..t, watery shi..t for that matter.

And again, I do not want to be an "alter-bound" relationship kinda girl, I want to be a "happy-bound" relationship kinda girl where the man will set his ego aside.

Come to think of it, why are igbo guys obsessed with "headship?" in marriage?

IZUKWU: i hear you,i have come of age and i know my people are expecting to bring the person and even me too have begin to look at my female friends beneath the facade and see the substance. I would not be comfortable continuing a r/ship bond for the alter with you , if i overhear you state the above, have backlisted a ladyfriend last feb. Because of a similar statement,she said if she ever caught with another woman ,she would burst bottle for my head. The statement caused to kill wherever the the association was heading to,despite many calls from her, my heart has grown cold. I need someone who would calm me,when am hot,not who will stoke the fire and drag headship with me.

Both of us are saying a different thing altogether. I have every reason to believe that when you are hot doesn't mean when you outrightly hurt me because of your pride.

As for the lady you blacklisted? Well, I don't support violence ok. Having said that, no woman would hand you a gold medal for cheating on her, if that's the kinda woman you are looking for? Goodluck with that.

If a man cheats and lies to me intentionally, and I find out? I won't burst his head, I'd just dump his sorry azz.

Izu, I'm a very forgiving person, only when the deed wasn't intentional. But when someone makes it his/her mission to hurt me? I'm gonna hurt you right back. Period.

No body is dragging "headship" with you. The sooner you get that thought out of your mind, the better for you, that's if you want to look at things from an objective angle.

Why don't you just tame these ego and pride a little bit?