₦airaland Forum

Donalð Genes: The quy have some salient point there if you read btw the lines....its morally wronq for a man to kneel before a woman...its never done in the bible or koran or the past yrs, women should be the one to do...yet eventhough I have done that but I reqret it now that have known the truth.....kneelinq down has nothinq to do with love,if someone loves you.he still qonna be with you,doesn't mara or what-so-ever the times he kneel for u,he can still kick the qirl out

I have notice,we quys use this trick to nail a qirl who proves stubborn to qet....do u qet me nOw? Think a aqain

Morally wrong? Do you even know the meaning of moral? And pls can you quote the bible passage that admonished women to be kneeling down?
Did bible also approve ora..l sex? Was ora..l sex done in the bible?

Anybody can use anything as a trick, what you use as a trick might be genuinely used by someone else.

You see, in a bid to show off strength, you exhibit weakness. I have every reason to believe that what makes a man is not just the 'thing' dangling in between his legs. What makes up a man is so much more. And if doing a physical thing that has no physical risk whatsoever makes you feel less of a man? Then you are weak and insecure.


And the only reason I still argue this is for the sake of argument cos I know in real life men do a lot more than kneeling.

IZUKWU: Vivian,my father tells me that him that saw his father has seen the spirits. My father is still very much alive. How i would handle my family,my wife and my life as a man, a husband and a father ,i will learn from the example,he and others has i set before me ,that i recon as good and worthy of emulation. It is something called male influence or something like that. I had to bring parents into it because where else will i learn from. My father will not kneel for my mother,yet he loves her,cares,provides and have protected her for the past 37 years. I doubt that your father has ever knelt for your mother. Nor the bible ever admonished any man to kneel for her wife.it man respect your wife,kneeling down for my wife is not respecting her. The husband is the head of the woman.i can and will respect my woman and yet not kneel to her.that woman that will not love me and respect me because i wouldn't kneel for her doesn't respect me and wants to make mockery of me. Baby,i will love you,care for you,fight and protect you but kneel and bow for you, never! You can as well castrate me.

*smiles* sweetie, your pride is still talking. You see, the only reason you can't kneel for her is not because you would die, no, you can't kneel for her because you don't want her to make mockery of u (funny excuse tho) then I ask again, what is love all about?
But whatever rocks your boat baby, after all everybody defines life, love and happiness in his/her own term.

I'm done with this thread.

malaria: Nne biko d girl Na pre-learner. D guy is just not into her, after 6months d guy no even send am.

. That's eh. The girl di nma ipia ngbaachara. But do u blame her? Love can make you do stupid things sometimes.

Exponental: On a good day, ask him....... "what's my fate in this relationship? U know I'm not getting any younger, suitors keep going away cos of u and mumsy is also worried"........
BTW, consider a plan B.

@ poster. This post above is a very bad move. You will have "desperate" written all over you. And he would feel pressured. Pressured to come and marry you cos other suitors are coming. So yea, you have an alternative.
If you want to catch a man, you have to think like a man, and one thing men hate is telling them you have alternatives.
Men have heard these words over and over again, but they don't hear the truth over and over again, and I know real men appreciate candour.
I believe you are not playing game, so you have to be sincere and not manipulative.

Let him know you love him, even if there are a thousand men out there, he is your choice.

chikk: With all due respect ma'am, I don't agree with these. Family pressure can make men do what they don't want to. What if this pressure from home is for him to come home and marry some pre-arranged girl? Or what if his family doesn't accept the OP since the man is yet to take her to his mum. I wouldve agreed with you that she should wait so she doesn't look desperate in bringing up marriage issues, but there's no guarantee that the man will marry her. Love is not enough. 6years is a long time, she's not getting any younger.



I like this. @OP, this is a typical example of how you can discuss this issue with him without using the keyword 'marriage'. If you approach the issue directly, he will see you as desperate. The plan B is for you to be ready to put your life together and move on in case ypu don't hear what you want to.

*falls from bed* So much for not having pride.

6

Evyivy: He has some kinda bad experience with girls in the pass he always says he doesn't want to make a mistake but he is sure he loves me, infact his perspective of life is different, maybe I should do as u say thou.

Oh dear, you have to work harder then. One thing challenging about being with someone with a bad past is you sometimes bear the sacrifice of what you did not do. Its not fair but that's life.
If you really love this guy you have to work harder. You have to show him that being with you is not and will never be a mistake. That's your home work sweetheart.
You need to tell him how you feel, and there is nothing wrong in that.

Ishsoph: Its either the first bolded is a figment of ur imagination or you are being economical with the truth that your guy is your slave. Although am forced to beleive the former.

For the second bolded, I only make a referal to your parent, dont see how that is insulting or translates to lack of respect for women nor ones parents. Wouldnt do that cos i received home training from my parents and one of the virtues they imbibe in me is respect for my elders.

Finally, your post about your mother and your father's relationship is the ideal Izu tried to preach to you but your arrogance wouldnt let you notice that, unless he kneels down for you like your imaginative boy friend does for you. And with the picture you painted about your parent its either you are also lieing or you never learned a thing from your mum.

Pls quote me not again cos you are distracting me since its obvious your arrogance will not let you learn. I'll ignore you henceforth and goodluck with your imaginative BF!

Awwwwww na u quote me begin talk rubbish, na u vex pass.
My friend get the hell out biko, meat dey boil, kpomo dey make noise.

If you love this guy and he loves you and he is looking for a wife? Then you have to tell him.

Tell him you would love to be his wife someday. Considering you have been just friends for sometime he might be confused about how you really feel. He has to know how you feel.

You guys confess love to each other right? Then that's the perfect time to chip that in. There is a way you can tell him and not act desperately.

HotNaijaBabe: Hide behind ur monitor and act like superman, u hear!
When u finally get that woman u can die for, u will realize that kneeling before her for whatever reasons is childs play compared to what u will be willing to do for her..

You never know men. The man that says "oh, she is too dirty, not my class" is that same man that sleeps with a mad woman.

tommiesyn: I've knelt down for her before, and will/may still, if there is a reason for that. Don't forget it was for a reason. Guys, doing that, does it in anyway reduce your value or who you are? ...

Thumbs up dearie. And why won't this lady worship you?

Oh, as for them? It makes them less than a man. And threatens their "headship."

Ishsoph: Obviously with your mindset it'll be nearly impossible for you to find this your dream man. Even though you claim to have a boy friend who you does chores for(its either you are telling a bare-faced lie, you are simply portraying a different character here from the real you or your BF is a sissy to put up with that kinda idealogy).
Do me a fovour, if your parents are still together ask your mom what has kept them going over the years. Pls dont tell me its becos your father is ever willing to kneel down for your mum whenever he errs.



Kindy go back and read Chikk's post/advice cos its timely. Ya gazie!

Awwwww. I have my dream man already. And I have always gotten my kinda man, always. I have never been with a puffed up man, huge turn off.

I do chores for him, I cook for him, I clean for him, I kneel for him, whatever that will make him happy. I can even take a bullet for him (un knowingly tho, cos I don't want to die yet).

He also cooks for me just to make me happy, he washes my clothes, irons them etc. Tho he does these once in a while to make me happy and not when I'm tired.

We let our pride go, for us love is all that matters. *winks* He is my king, and I worship him.
You see, I can't take a risk for him when he is not willing to take that same risk for me.

If what this thread represents is the kinda man you are or Izu is, then I don't want you 100 metres close to me. *winks*

Bringing my parents into this speaks volume of you. You totally lack respect for women and parents. But yea, I watched my dad treat my mum like his own body. My dad is never a "whole me" kinda man inside the house. And my mum is never a "whole me" kinda woman. Growing up I still remember my dad cooks for us once in a week. He helps my mum in thhe kitchen when he could, he helped with raising us and getting us ready for school when he could. You know this happened over 2 decades ago when men were known to stay in the sitting and give orders.
He never raised his hands against my mum, my mum didn't push him either.
And they have lived together in peace for 27yrs now and counting.

And this trait was passed unto all of us; the children.

If you dad bossed you mum around to make it clear "he is the head." Sorry, my parents used a different approach and my dad's "headship" was never questioned.

maxwello.yg:
you wrote..'in a love filled relationship, you think less of yourself and more of your partner'..bby how does one who thinks less of herselfself and more of her partner plan on paying her partner back in his own coin when he maltreats her?...because from the way i understood it,thinking more of your partner means loving him real much

plus not everybody has pride.Note that.

Let me try with u one more time.
Yea, loving your partner real much, right? And you get what in return? He/she loving you much right back ok?

Let's see what the bible says about love:

1 cor. 13 vs 4 to ...........
4. Love suffers long, and its kind, it doesn't envy, doesn't cover itself, its not puffed up.
5. Do not behave itself umseemly, its not selfish, its not easily provoked, thinks no evil.
6 Rejoices not in bad things, but rejoices in truth.
7. Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things.

I have every reason to believe that this is the love we are talking.

The same bible says, women submit to your husband and husbands love your wives.

Judging on what I see here....
Even the bible understands that every individual has pride. Of course God created us.

So......
1. If a man truly loves me, he won't be selfish.
2. If a man truly loves me, he won't be 'puffed on.' which in order word is pride.
3. If a man truly loves me he won't hurt me.
Etc.
And the same thing is applicable to a woman. In exchange of this love, the man gets total submission.

Now no. 3, we all are human, sometimes we step on toes unknowingly. That is forgiveable. But when a man intentionally hurts me, or inflict both physical and emotional pains on me? He doesn't love me.
When a man let his pride get into the way of our happiness, he doesn't love me. And doesn't deserve my submission.

Now a song writer; Diana Ross said "sometimes we are locked inside the prison of our pride." "Sometimes we let the greatest treasure slip away with the words and actions we don't say or do as a result of pride. ..................."
And where I come from, pride means "a whole me" "why should a whole me knew down for a woman, imagine, a woman that bends when urinates. I'm not a weakling!" "Why would a whole me cook and clean for a man, oh pulease, I don't want to be seen as desperate or a slave." And sweetheart everyone has got this pride.
But for love to work, it must not be puffed on and God requires for men to love their wives.
And at the end of the day, love is all that matters! It doesn't matter how other people see it, it doesn't matter what my friends would think of me, what matters is this person I love.

If the originator of love says that love is not hurtful, why would I accepted a hurt love? And I'm sure God wrote that as a guideline. So that I don't make mistakes.

Even God that created us doesn't forgive us when we outrightly hurt him. He only forgives our sin in ignorance.
He created us, and if what my bible tells me is real, the hell fire is real. And God is willing to throw his beloved creatures into hell.

When you sin in ignorance, you obtain mercy, grace and forgiveness. But when you sin in the knowing, no grace for you.

If a man hits me for no just cause, I didn't provoke him, I didn't push him, etc. He just hits me to show me who is in charge, *smiles* I will make sure that he gets that beating in 10 folds. And I won't love him either.

Sometimes there is nothing wrong with returning intentional evil for international evil.

Ishsoph: @ Chikk that's an honest appraisal from you. Its only left for Nza to take to heading your sisterly advice. Have been following her responses that reeks of blindfolded arrogance brought about by too much attachment of importance to self. That Izu of a guy come accross like every woman's dream with his analysis but she is too arrogant to notice that. I wonder who this man she craves for will turn out to come from if not a sissy kinda man that will be able to stay put with her?(and its obvious she loats that kinda guy).
Pls Naza nwannem try and listen to voioce of reason cos its obvious ur a feminist even though u denied it earlier in your post when you know your post paints you thus. Nuf said!

Izu said; "I can never kneel down for a woman." What do you call that? If he kneels down for a woman, he won't die. He doesn't just want to be seen as not man enough, isn't that attaching too much important to self?
Just a question that requires an honest answer; if I say I would never kneel down for a man? What does that make me?
So yea, a man feels he is important and its ok and a woman shouldn't?
Sorry, Izu might be every woman's dream for you, but not for me.
If a man sees me as not important, then he is not important.
if that makes me a feminist? Hell yes, I'm one!

I'm done trying to make you understand, like I said I'm responsible for what you read, but what you understand is entirely your cup of tea.

Oahray: the only part of that your post I didn't quite agree with was the part I highlighted. Sounds a bit too omniscient. You know she wouldn't have suspected without a good reason. How?

Truth is, few people if any, would make themselves the villain in any story. Inasmuch as she seems the victim who does not owe the bad guy any apology, it's still a single story... Incomplete. To think you have proclaimed him guilty already.

She wanted proof of cheating (whether her reasons are truly as valid as those she pointed out, or not), snooped around (the average girl would still do this even if she is married to Jesus), got it, traded angry words, parted ways... I do not get it, why does she want to apologise when she has gotten that which she wants?

@Op, If I were the guy...
If I'm guilty like you portrayed your guy, the breakup is a dream come true, and I would resist every effort to get back together.
If I am not guilty, I'd be so disappointed that I would not want to continue the relationship. I take trust issues seriously, especially when I do my best to earn it.

Either way, apologies with the aim of getting back together is a NO NO. Move on.

Ok, I stand corrected.

alutacontinua: Chikk has seriously misunderstood you. Maybe you have to explain to her or just leave it.

I'm not a fan of cooking and washing for a boyfriend, though

She is simply myopic.

I know you are not, I am. I cook and clean for my bf. I don't mind being called a slave, for love. *winks*

alutacontinua: A matured lady would never look at a guy on his knees like a piece of shit. Little things like that melts the heart of ladies faster than all you people 'touchy touchy' or 'sugar-coated mouth' skills. I'm not saying it's compulsory or a necessity to kneel down for her, but, 'NEVER SAY NEVER'...If you wrong someone that you love and cares about you, and what it takes to go on your knees, then, [s]better start rubbing those knees in the sand.[/s] ...it shouldn't be a big deal.

Personally, if my guy should kneel down for me, apart from the fact that i'll even be the one to beg him to stand up or even join him in the kneeling down business, anything, and I repeat, anything that led to that just got settled at that instant and my respect for him sky-rockets by a power of 100. I don't see him as less of a man, rather, I see him as a REAL MAN!

Exactly!

And some chik here tells me she doesn't have pride? I laugh in swahili.

A typical example is when a lady cooks and cleans for a man she is not married to. Or some a lady shows a guy she is not married to too much love. Some guys misinterprete this gesture as desperate acts. Now go over most thread on NL and you would find out that most ladies now see the act of washing and cleaning for a bf as an act slavery. Is this not pride? "Oh I don't want to be seen as desperate and a slave." Is this not pride?

But when a lady out of love, cooks and cleans for her bf, what has she done? She has let go of her pride. She has risked being called a slave and a desparado for the sake of love.

Now only immature men that see the kind gesture of a woman as being desparate and slavery.


What is too hard for that chik girl to understand? Haba!

chikk: Been following your posts and I must say you're trying TOO HARD to convince this guys and that shouldn't be. A line of sentence should be enough for you to drive your point home but because you're contradicting yourself, they can't get you.

After all the efforts you've made to prove that pride is bad, you return to say PRIDE IS GOOD? You're not wrong to say you have pride, yes, its boldly written in all your posts. But you're wrong to say EVERYONE has pride. There are still such things as being humble and down to earth. I suggest you take your advice of watching the pride before it turns to arrogance

So you'll submit only to a man who recognises you as a woman and drops his pride? Now how will a man recognise you as a woman if your pride is high? You won't be submissive unless he drops his pride. Na competition? Babe, men hate challenges, especially from women. Even God was not stupid when he made it that women should submit to their men.

In union, one partner complements for what the other lacks. Two wrongs can never make a right and PRIDE IS WRONG. Even God forbids it. You don't expect a man to drop his pride for you. In a way, its their nature. Challenge with men in the corporate world, not in your relationship or home.

A man should be a man to you in all ways. You say you're equal inside and he is the man outside. Isn't that eye service? You want people to think that he is the man because you know it is the proper thing, but when you go inside, you rub shoulders. Hmmm. Anyway, maybe I misunderstood you like every other person here. Every person to their opinion. I wish you the best in yours.

Now the last line in bold got me cracking

Its either you do not understand English, or you lack real life experience or you are simply myopic.
Everyone has pride ok, I do, you do. Its naturally but you don't bring this pride into a relationship! Love and pride don't work together, do you know why? Because in a love filled relationship, you think less of urself and more of your partner. Now is that too hard for you to understand?
You do not have pride? Hmmmmm that's a first. Then I take it you don't even know what pride is.
Pls do not quote me again if your thinking is so narrow and shallow.

If your definition of A MAN is one who doesn't see you as worth letting pride go for, then there is something wrong somewhere, or you have not earned that yourself. So knock yourself out.

And who is talking about challenging a man? Oh dear, you are a dead end. I give up on you.

Oahray: the bold part is just so deliberate a misinformation, I am tempted to call it a lie.

The average girl suffers so much from self esteem issues that she does not need a reason to grow suspicious. Be nice and faithful and she would suspect a cover up.

I don't know what you are talking about ok? But if you read this story, you would see the part where the guy started withdrawing. And trust me most girls always know when there is another woman.

If a girl is naturally insecure? That's her problem, but if this insecurity arises as a result of suspicion? And this suspicion as a result of your action? Then it is your duty to make her feel secure!

In this case, the man is as guilty as charged. Its her life, I believe right now she is in a decision making process. But she asked for my advice, begging this man would not make things better. But at the end of the day, the decision is all hers.

@ Izu, yea isn't this sweet? Learning that you would hit me shouldn't scare me huh? But learning that if you do, I'm gonna make sure you get hit 10 times over should scare you?

There is a thin line between pride and arrogance. We just need to watch it. Pride is good, everyone has it, I know I do. But if you don't watch this pride, it turns to arrogance.

And how did u know the kinda kneeling the poster was talking about? Its a picture, for all we know he could be a bf or husband or fiance begging for forgiveness.

You did not understand my posts and you blew things outta proportion. I never justified unnecessary kneeling down, both for a man or a woman, read my posts again.

Isn't it hilarious how you guys undermine ladies and make them feel worthless with your utterances? And cry when we do same to you? You see I don't know for other ladies out there, but as for me, the only man that gets to see how sweet I I am? The only man I will submit to? Is that man who recognises that I'm a woman in the real sense of a woman. Is that man who is willing to let his pride go. Come when we are inside, there will be no man or woman, we would just be lovers. But when we go outside? HE IS THE MAN!

Cabbage in cabbage out (processed), what you put in is what you get. If you want love and submission? They don't just happen, you have to earn them.
If a man derogates me, either by words or deeds? He would be derogated. Simples.

Let me drive home my point.

You see, I forbid a man hitting me. In as much as I do, I won't tempt him to, I won't push him to the wall. I won't challenge him to, especially when he is mad at me.

But when for no just cause, he feels he is high on crack and touches me? I won't go to police, yet. I'd gather my brothers and they inflict as much pains as he inflicted on me on him, then we would go to the police.

IZUKWU: reassurance that i won't cheat on her, and i ,reassurance that in the heat of arguement one day,that she wouldn't break my head with pestle. I don't need violence around me, much less domestic own. If am in a relationship and i intentionally hurt you,you will return the favour and if you intentionally hurt me,i will also return the favour. I don't want that type of r/ship. If i hurt you intentionally tell me,we will talk through it but why will i intentionally hurt my loved one. I don't do that. Instead of doing back to sender with my lover,i would rather end the r/ship. Kneeling down for a woman for what exactly has been my question? For what offence? For my wife or for a woman that i just met? So that what will happen? So that she will give me punny ? So that she will date me ? Or so that she will agree to marry me ?count me out abeg !

You see your mindset?

Now, let's take this one by one. But before I start, I want to make it clear that I do not support violence.
Now you said this lady was ur friend? Right? For you to call her a friend that means you must have known her a little? Did you see her as the violent type? Now let me make this personal. I have a bf and we love each other, sometimes when we are talking he would tell me, if you cheat on me I would kill that man, and kill you. I know he doesn't mean it cos I know him too well, I will just tell him "oh baby, you see those guys running around me? They are not good enough. You own me, spirit soul and body." And this would make him so happy. Then sometimes I would tell him, "I'm gonna buy a cane for you and those you kurukere babes and I'm gonna flog the hell outta of you guys the day I'd catch you." He would tell me "my love, there are no other ladies. Even if there were, I will chase them away before you get to my house." And we would just laugh about it.
Trust me what that girl needed was a re-assurance from you.

Then secondly, must you need a reason to kneel down for your woman? What if it is to tell her that "oh sweetheart, I'm your prisoner" (figuratively). Let me make this personal too. You see me? I'm my own lord, ok. Naturally, I don't like being bossed around and I do not believe I need a man. So I have always been, this is who I am, if you don't like it, move your azz. But sometimes I kneel that to feed my boyfriend. Sometimes I call him "my lord." I hardly pay the damsel in distress card but sometimes I do and let him rescue me. And there is this smile on his face whenever I do and I just love it. Him on the other hand kneels down for me, combs my hair, carries my handbag, etc. We do not see it as being less of a man or less of a woman, we just want to make each other happy.

Now I love ur question, why would you intentionally hurt someone you love? Izu, I cannot intentionally hurt a man I love, whatever he doesn't like I would not do. If I unintentionally hurt him, I will apologise from the debt of my heart. If a man knows that he won't intentionally hurt me, so why bother?

Izu, I hate pride and arrogance. And I can't stand men that possess such attributes.

Just to clear the air.

In as much as I love my man, I can't be with him if he thinks that kneeling for me makes him less of a man.

I will cook his meal, do his laundry, etc but won't be with him if he thinks cooking for me when necessary makes him less than a man.

If a man hurts me unintentionally, I'd forgive him. But if he hurts me intentionally, I'm gonna hurt him right back.

If a man treats me with respect, he gets respect in return, if he treats like dirt, I'd treat him like shi..t.

This has always been me.

But if you think otherwise, then you are mistaking. Like they, I'm responsible for what you need, but I'm not responsible for what you understand.

IZUKWU: so you are saying,we don't comprehend english language again,i agree with him, you changed . What changed you. In some of your posts today,you said ,you will be ready to bring the man down,if he so misbehaves and i was very uncomfortable wit h that or else i don't understand what you meant by bringing him down. Is it not fire for fire.

Yes in this context you don't. First of all, I didn't say if he misbehaves. I said if he beats his chest in pride. We are talking about "kneeling down," and I said "bring him down on his knees."