₦airaland Forum

pro01: Extravagance is a relative, subjective concept. What one person sees as extravagance might be nothing at all to the other. Besides, the richest people I know are generally the most 'extravagant',. Whereas the people who are frugal to the point of miserliness tend to wallow in their subsistence. In any case, life is too short to be a miser; one might die at any time, so why not enjoy the proceeds of your work while here (as long as you're not living beyond your means)? I know you accountants are taught to be miserly, so this idea wouldn't appeal to you, lol.

The most important thing is that a person knows how to create wealth - and how to generate steady income. Perhaps this should be the most important thing you should be concerned with. If the guy in question knows what he is doing (in terms of generating income), then you should be very happy with that. In fact, his 'extravagance' might be a blessing in disguise, since you can easily obtain large sums of money from him and invest/save it elsewhere. A penny-pinching woman like you would be better off with the sort of man you described. Just take as much money as you can off him, and throw it somewhere you can see it pile up. Just make sure you don't invest it in a ponzi scheme or something of that nature though, lol. Too many miserly people I know tend to be penny wise, pound foolish in their investment decisions, and often lose huge amounts of money that would have been better spent on 'extravagant' self-indulgences.

Lol....like seriously? Wow! Ok, thank you.

DailyNews: You can change him depending on what he lavish his money on. If its on:
fancy cars, hotels (which must include women of course), unnecessary vacations like u mentioned, etc...u cannot change him cos these habits of a man can hardly be changed by a woman, only him, his male cohorts & bankruptcy can change him.

If he spends it on:

relations, family, community, church, helping people, etc, u can change him more easily, thats y most rich guys marry stingy ladies to help them chase unwanted family members, etc away, but not when he spends it on what he enjoy doing- car flirting, women, clubbing, touring to catch fun, etc.


BTW, a man that spends loaned money, hmm...pls find out his source of income o.

...lastly, don't leave him, hang on but plz zip up! zip up! men, hmm!

God forbid that I, vivian will hinder a man from taking care of his family, people etc! I can't even be with a man who cannot take care of his family, especially the mum. Charity they say begins at home!!! Btw, I'm not a stingy woman......I just don't like extravagant lifestyle.

NOIBMUUL: @op

There was no love, yet you decided to get close to him... cos you saw money! nice one

I have seen money before I met him! Have equally met a couple of super rich guys.....and still meeting...
So try harder ok?

Wow!

Bunchers stab: No b u e wan impress ni?
Come 2 think of it he is still better than me...
My hubby is spending of money,dnt knw y.
We can't b changed. We never also never get broke

Impress me ni? Lol, you just cracked me up! Sorry, extravagance doesn't impress me!

bennyraz: i see, then you should surely know how to make the right decision

What did I do to you? Ur laugh makes me uncomfortable joor. Get off me!.....lol

ebamma: i tire for naija girls oh. If you spend less the will say u are greedy if you are extravagant the will say u are lavish

Sorry, I'm not a naija girl! I'm a lady ok, and I'm sure you know the difference.

Cheers.

Yield: People can learn to control their spending. If you haven't told him your main reason for moving on, you should. Let him know you're concerned and worried about his spending. Also, gently remind him to be future-oriented. Some people spend lavishly, focusing only on the present and forgetting how they spend today will affect them tomorrow. You should also find out if he's willing to change and how. Financial Planners can help in this area; him seeking professional help is a good idea. Sometimes, people also spend a lot to fill a void, so there might be a lot more to his spending than meets the eye, and getting to the root cause of that would go a long way in curbing the spending.

I'm a financial planner (tho in the making), I'm actually studying Accounting and at my level I have done so many financial management courses.

sanb: [b][/b]It’s very very difficult for you to tame a man let alone an extravagant man. From your write up, he appears to be a man that at least has some qualities that you like in exception of the extravagant side of things. Since he’s still interested, you’ll need to have a heart to heart discussion with him again and let him know your dislike about his extravagant life style. If he is someone who is reasonable then I see no reason why he shouldn’t consider things from your point of view but that’s going to be hard especially if he was brought up in that sort of life style.

If at all you ever come back together then try and work along with him and let him learn how to start and finish projects. Sometimes men just need that extra advice from a woman for them to reduce that ego that they carry about and it works. They don’t need a woman who nags and I’m not saying that you nag but don’t let him perceive that you are nagging him because he won't listen...

Thank you. Well I tried initially, God knows. But I don't know if he sees me as very young to advice him or whatever I can't tell. Considering the age or difference(mid 20s and mid 30s)........well, I will ponder on this. Thank you once again!

bennyraz: [size=13pt]if i say i get advice 4 u, na lie i dey lie.. Ibo boys sabi spend money wela o, especially the uneducated ones. Chai, they no mind to open bar make everybody dey Drink their money [/size]

Lol you are really funny. On the contrary he is not ibo. And I have no business with an uneducated man when it comes to relationship!

pendo89: You have a big hurdle to jump.
Seems like a very mature (age)man from the story. Some people have cash, but managing it is the challenge.
These are the millionaires today and bankrupt the next.
They sleep at Intercon today and tomorrow under a bridge.
They Dine and Wine in Paris today, then soak 'garri' the next week.

Well.. give it a try but don't let your guard down.Talk to him and see if he listens cz if he does, it means there's room/hope for improvement.
You don't have to commit yet.You see,whether we like it or not some of these 'careless behaviours' spill into marriage and end up causing couples to live in continous debts.A financially unstable man is a big headache.
Let him prove his maturity in spending as a single man before you both get entangled in debts as a couple.

Well, he is in his 30s. The points you mentioned are the reasons I'm scared. Thank you!

Hi guys, ok I met this guy sometime ago, he is a nice guy tho not perfect. I wasn't in love with him anyway but I just decided to get close to him and see if the love could develop.

When I got closer to him I found out he is an extravagant spender, he just jumps into things without planning them. He can begin 5 projects at a time without a proper strategy/planning and some of the money he uses for these project are bank loans. This aspect of his lifestyle did not go down with me. I kept talking but at the end of the day he will do what pleases him.

The one that broke the camel's back was when he bought a flashy car while he was yet to complete his buildings at the village and city respectively, he bought the car and made a commitment of over 1m just for tourism/travelling around and staying in 5 star hotels.
I just knew that moment he wasn't for me, this guy really loves me but I'm a careful spender and I love planning things before I do them. So I told him to stop coming cos it won't work out between us. And I moved on and even forgot he existed.

Today he called me probably to find out how I'm managing the flood situation, we got talking and somehow we ended up talking about what happened between us. From his voice I could sense his love and desire for me,,,,,,,,but,,,,,,,

How do I deal with this aspect of his life? Can I tame him? Is it really possible? Not that it will guarantee any relationship cos I'm yet to developed feelings for him. But I just wanna try, take this baby step and maybe reconsider.......they say love grows right?

Mature advise pls........

stev007: ....lol. So u mean u ll go 'gaga crazy' afta 1yr+ witout ur seein ur man? Guess long distance relationship is not for you

Who said "a year?" I said a month tops! I can deal with long distance dating but marriage? Hell no!

When he finds me, I will definitely carry his picture in my wallet or handbag anywhere I go.

ikekings: Now this is what I call true love... “Bathroom sex” sweetest...

Hi honey....

Single and waiting.

stev007: Yea, it is

I think the longest I have stayed without my bf (now ex) is a year and 4months....so yes for a bf I can stay a year and 4months which would be hell for me, but for a husband....a month tops! If I don't see him after a month, I'm gonna take the next available flight or vehicle to wherever he is before I go crazy.

bennyraz: another day

Lol...ok.

Is this question applicable to single people as well?

Is this question applicable to single people as well?

bennyraz:

Why are u laughing Mr.? If u got anything to say, out with it! I think I'm the mood for a little constructive argument. Are you game?

If ur definition of "Godly" is being "born again" then no! But if ur "Godly" means decent then yes! Everybody that goes to clubs is not a bad person. Its a misconception.

I don't like 6 packs! I see nothing fascinating in it.

larrymoore:

Sorry mate, but u don't make any sense! What am I desperate for? If I may ask?